₦airaland Forum

craziebone:
your post goes to show that feminism isn't about equality but elitism. You are more worried about what will give her more political power and economic power rather than equal representation in all fields. No wonder why even though men dominate works like: tanker drivers, bricklayers, mai suya, firefighters, etc, you are not all out looking for quota system. You are only looking for quota system in the stem courses and board rooms representation in air conditioned MNC.

Also, it is so shallow of you to think that homoeconomics isnt intellectually tasking. And no, women cannever threaten men no matter how many of them are in the stem courses.

In the West, women have been given quota system and have been forced to study the STEM course and yet, how many of them have been able to go on to bring about a new way of doing things? Mark Zukerberg had so many women in his class. Einstein had girls in his class. Teve Jobs had women in his own class. Emeagwali also had women in his class. Yet, non of them have been able to come up with something to revolutionize culture, medicine, computing etc.

I think it is very ignorant of you to say that STEM courses are where power is. Well, that may be today but for much of the world's history; Law, oratory, literature, philosophy, music, theology, magic and mysticism are where the real power is. STEM only gained its new found power during the industrial revolution.

Dora Akunyili also had a lot of men in her class...

Same with Funke Opeke, Marie Curie etc.

Harriet Tubman had a lot of male slaves around her... Why didn't one of them think of running away and coming back to rescue the others.

Your argument goes both ways.

cococandy:
Well one of you asked not long ago why girls feel like they are doing guys a favor by having sex with them.
We'll his your thread is one of the reasons for it.
If having sex with a man reduces a girl's value according to you, why would any same girl want to do it wih any of since in the end all you'll be seeing is a worthless girl who gave herself to you or someone else.

May God help all of you.

You mind them?

On one hand, they say women feel they are doing men a favor: sex is mutually enjoyed.

On the other hand, a woman depreciates when she has sex... a man does not

It is well

craziebone:
i think you have a shallow idea of intellectualism and enlightenment. Fact it, we don't get enlightened and educated just to get a job and career. We get education so as to be enlightened and relate better with the surrounding. An education is stem courses are whereever for that matter isn't a waste if you do not practice. A lot of successfull people in the world today did not make it in the area the studied in school.

And yes, men remain the drivers of the world today despite feminist deception. For over 50 years, women have been pushed into male areas but what happened? The US, even afrter 50 years of intellectual feminism still has more men in congress that it has women. The same thing can be said for all countries except Rwanda. In the EU, laws are being made to make sure women make 40 percent of boardrooms. But guess what? That's legislative contruct! Or better still, social construct, the very same thing feminism claims to fight against! You fight social construct with social construct. What hypocricy!!!

So you want to compare the head start men had?

Lols!

I 100% agree with Stillfire:

If you think There are Some careers women should not have,it makes absolute sense you do not put her through that course.

Apart from that, not all women yearn to build a career or even have the zeal for corporate life.

Look for someone suited for you.

I know it is not related time the topic:

But please If as a man, you know you don't like a wife with a strong drive, please don't marry a woman full with zeal for corporate life or building a career and tell her to become a teacher or quit working.

It will kill her spirit.

plaetton:
Yes. You have a good point.
But I also sure that you get my gist.
Any toil that imperils the household responsibilities of both man and woman are counterproductive.

I agree

You both should strive to balance home and career.

lezz:
that's a narrow interpretation of the subject matter. The bottom line is that carrier success, promotion, power and social status has not increased the happiness of women as have been shown in research statistics. Because what makes a man happy isn't what necessarily makes a woman happy.

The bottom line is applying carrier and motherhood in a good balance as Danielle wrote in her record smashing book: What Our mothers Didn't Tell Us:"[b]Why Happiness Eludes The Modern Woman"[/b]

My daughters are going to get that striking balance.

The word you are looking for is joyful. Happiness is fleeting and is temporal.

If I just failed my final exams and I was given N200K cash, I will temporarily forget my failure and be Happy... till the effect wears off and I am back to sadness

Career, promotion, money etc. has never and will never make anybody joyous (Male or female). Else all our bosses at work will be bubbling with joy.

Family alone cannot make people joyous too.

Life calls for balance in all areas for everyone.

Only been content in What you have while striving for more guarantees joy.

plaetton:
Excellent.
I couldnt agree more with you.

I am A modern man, but a realist.
I don't ever want my wife working as hard or even harder than I do.

When you try to subvert nature, distress and disharmony ensues.
The funny thing is that men have not changed one bit in thousands of years.

If your wife is a tailor and you work in a corporate organization, she will work harder than you.

Ditto If she is a stay at home mom.

Except you have a different interpretation to hardwork

beeevan:
Women and their issues .

Where have you being?

How is your family?

lezz:
By 1979, women could still balance the moderate demands of career and children.
35 to 40 years ago women were not pretending to be men. The earning power of women in 1979 is not the same today.

The figures of single motherhood aren't the same as is the number of divorce.

And you judge happiness by no of divorces?

Does it occur to you that the divorce rates were lower because it was not widely accepted? Same with baby mamaism

How many women have you personally come across that are sad because they want to be like men?

What is ratio of women who alter themselves to be men to men who alter themselves to be women?

gohome:
Feminism.

A dirty word in some circles. When I hear the word, I think of fiery black women with dreadlocks or white women in badly fitting suits. Don’t ask me where these images come from; I don’t know. I do want to know: what’s all the fuss about?

I am a Nigerian woman. I am educated. I hold a job that pays me the same as my male colleagues. I voted in the last election. I can drive. I can own property… Now that I think about it, what exactly does being female forbid me from?

I can’t be out by myself late at night. Common sense. I could be robbed and/or raped. But that isn’t feminism’s war. That’s a function of security. A guy would be vulnerable too. Well, being female puts you at a disadvantage in the corporate world, some say. You can’t be a top-level executive. And they have stats to prove it. I’ll get back to that in a bit.

There are societal norms about how I should interact in society as a woman. But I think that those norms are shaped by the family I grew up in. I was told I was intelligent. Not relative to a boy. Intelligent in my right. The world was my oyster, the sky my limit, my life was charmed. My future was placed before me in pragmatic terms. I could be a career woman like my mother, keep a store close to home like both my grandmothers or be a housewife like many of my cousins. Each was a valid option and growing up, I was exposed to the pros and cons of each.

And this is the thing. A woman should have choices. We may not always agree with those choices (to stay with an abusive husband, to never marry, to take up a job, to become a housewife, to drop out of school) but they’re hers.

I was taught to respect men, to honour the man I would eventually marry. I like to think that my future husband was taught to respect women, like my brother was taught, like my sons will be. But I was also taught to pay for my drink. To be content with what I had. To earn my money without selling my dignity.

Society didn’t teach me this. Family did.

Yesterday, I took a male friend out to dinner. I called the waitress over. I requested the menu. I ordered. And when we were done, I requested the bill. When she got to our table, the waitress made to give it to him. I stretched out my hand to take it. She ignored me, and still pushed it to him. He smiled and handed it to me. The look on her face as I counted out the money from my wallet was priceless. Was I offended? No. Amused, more like. And frankly, I considered it too small to hold a grudge. I don’t blame society, I understand that it’s a function of her family and upbringing.

And then, there are bars/restaurants/clubs who refuse entry to unaccompanied women. On one hand, I find it amusing that a public establishment would seek to make moral choices for its patrons. On the other hand, I would boycott such an establishment. If you don’t want my custom, why would I force it on you? My own money? But I also think that this is a petty battle, and one I wouldn’t waste effort on.

What battles would I be interested in? Poverty alleviation. I hear of families that send only their sons to school because they think their daughters could do no better than to marry well. But often, these families can’t afford to send everyone and so they have to make a choice the best they know how. But what if they could afford to send them both? Would they still refuse? I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. And so our battle should be getting them across the poverty line. I know a mother who runs a small kiosk to support her family. Getting a bank loan to expand her business would be difficult. But that’s not because she’s female. Her husband is a vulcanizer (Nigerian term for a person who fixes tyres), and I daresay getting a loan would be difficult for him as well. It’s not really a gender problem, but one of class distinction.

Gender equality battles aren’t complete if we don’t fight for men’s rights, as well. Does this sound odd?

Back to the corporate arena. I overheard female colleagues complain that we aren’t well represented in our company’s leadership. They insist that D & I should be brought to bear. I differ. Leadership should be given to the most capable, not shared between the genders. If I want to be manager (as a male or a female), I have to work harder and longer than my peers to develop the right competencies faster. That’s easier when I’m unencumbered by family commitments. However, if after getting those competencies, I was turned down and the job given to a less competent male, then I would cry foul.

If I have a family, it gets harder. Some jobs are inherently incompatible with raising a family. With a family, I simply will not have enough time to develop those competencies faster than my peers. As a parent, I have a responsibility to raise my child. I can’t balance this with working long hours unless I have a very supportive husband. Let’s say he supports me 100% and he’s willing to take responsibility for our child. If he’s a house-husband, this is easy. But house-husbands aren’t common. Men have not been wired by their families to be house-husbands. So he has a job. Will his job let him close at 3.30 to pick our child from school? Will his job allow him take the afternoon off to take our child to hospital? Or his school’s soccer game? No. Women get those breaks in some companies, men hardly ever. And so this is what I think should be feminism’s cause. Flexible working hours for both sexes, so that each spouse can choose to support the other. Not just women, but men too. My husband should get paternity leave as long as mine so that if I choose to return to work a week postpartum, he can stay home to care for our infant. Amen?

There is the aside that even with these perks, some men would not support their wives’ ambitions. A shame, but that’s all it is. Society (or a movement) cannot force a man to support his wife, it’s a personal choice. The same way it’s a wife’s personal choice to support her husband.

But don’t hand me a promotion because it’s the politically correct thing to do. It’s an insult to my intelligence, and tells me I wouldn’t have been good enough otherwise.

I support the bolded 100%

lilmax:
How can you be happy when you are trying to be a man instead of a woman?

Hatred for men=feminism=trying to be a man=hate yourself as a woman

Hatred for men is feminism?

Interesting

lezz:
The research group says women where happier 35 years ago than they are today.

Did you skip the lines.

Women were happier 35yrs ago?

What made them happier? Staying at home? Considering thefact that as at 35yrs ago, a lot of women were earning income, getting promoted etc.

Can We know If the women 40yrs ago and up were happier?

@OP:

Nice thread, that is the winning attitude.

I wonder how it was concluded that the 'modern' woman is not Happy

Can the OP pinpoint the time in life when women were Happy?

If a person (male or female) is not content, the person cannot be Happy (I am guessing you mean joyous)

My icecream

[b][/b]

Herzumpther:
My lunch.

Send Some here

Messilistic:
All I can say is OP has alot he has not sed.....

OK then

@OP:

Sorry about the heartbreak however thank God you found out before marriage.

I pray God heals you and gives you a much better woman.

@Messilistic:

You mean the OP 's girl was dating a married man before they left Nigeria?

How did she manage to hide it from him then?

Why did she wait til til abroad before deciding to show herself?

Nice thread

Marriage is what both parties define it to be

Beautiful

And this is how makeup should look like.

daneni1:
God help us all

Amen

Akposy:
how u do d egg

Sorry for the late response

Sliced my onions in oil

Mixed my eggs, little salt, seasoning cubes, thyme, curry and nutmeg and add to the onions on fire

Fry the eggs till ready

Add green peas, sweet corn and baked beans to the eggs on fire

Stir till the vegetables is cooked

Drop and eat.

cococandy:
yea femininity (or masculinity for that matter) has much to do with sex appeal depending on where you're looking at it from. so TeV was bam on that.

Researching and it's more of having qualities considered 'womanly' or 'feminine'

I sure agree that she has a lot of sex appeal and perceived innocence

5minsmadness:
This is why I want to have your vocabulary prowess when I re-incarnate.
Nice one sir.

Cc LordReed. Pls take note of the difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage as TV has explained here.

The 'modernly' defined arranged marriages sounds different from the one highlighted in the OP

The modern arranged marriages definitely are not outdated so how can it be better by 'modern' marriages

5minsmadness:
Oestrogen.
Women carrying emotions on their sleeves.
It's funny they don't get heart attacks from over-excitement.

Is this supposed to get at me?

Women are so emotional yet it is men who throw tantrums when they find out their wives cheat;

The women are so emotional yet they can sit down and analyze the situations after the initial storm to decide to stay or leave.

Very emotional indeed!

5minsmadness:
If u can't laugh then u have a poor sense of humor.
What do you know about mistresses? Have u been one? Are friends with one? Or you draw your conclusions from nollywood?

An average mistress is NOT married. She is usually a singe woman in her mid twenties to late thirties. Reasons for becoming a mistress are numerous but the most common is finances and residual love(an ex from the past who got married). Most mistresses cannot wait to get married themselves because in truth no woman likes to share a man and even the mistresses get jealous becuse do not like their current situation. It's not all about money or "toe-curling orgasms" ' for women. (Or is it?)

Sure there are married women who engage in lusty extramarital affairs but they can hardly be termed mistresses as they are busy with their families and aren't as free with their time as the singles and so cannot be called away by the philandering man at a moments notice.

It is a source of comfort knowing the mistress is short-lived, yes. It doesn't mean they should condone it, it doesn't mean they support it. Nobody is asking them to be happy sharing their husband with a short-lived or miniature-lived mistress. Stop being so oestrogenic.

It seems you have experience in these matters.

True, your posts will console a wife with a cheating husband

Can you write up something for a husband with a cheating wife?

Perhaps we can all learn

Thanks

Stillfire:
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Real feel good lines

The important wives should keep feeling important!

At least, in the hierarchy of dicking, they are the first

cococandy:
Well the OP is obviously trolling but you're spot on. Such a wife should feel lucky he married her Afterall it is only business with the mistress

It sounds so cra.zy...

A man you both took vows to be faithful, told you he loved you bla bla bla is giving another woman toe curling orgasms and you are telling me it is 'just' business

Happy business

Anyways, it is a 'man's' world.

5minsmadness:
Feel good line or not, it's the truth.
Mistresses are short-lived and they know it.
The enjoyment isn't forever.
And trust you ladies, you want to have the heart of your man and not just his penis. The mistress is never satisfied knowing she doesn't have his heart.
Hence she tries to encroach by getting pregnant or sending the wife stinkers or some other drama.
They are not satisfied.
They are not happy.
And no amount of sex or money will change that.

LOL!

What a joke! only it is so sick that I can't even laugh!

Mistresses are short lived! An average mistress knows A, B, C is married and is in it for the money in the first place.

Anyways, whatever rocks your boat.

I am sure your target audience will be happy knowing that the woman their husband is currently Bleep.ing is short-lived before he moves to the next one.

Not every woman is willing to share her husband with a short-lived or a miniature-lived mistress

And I know the OP is trolling; he is male in another thread

Built2last:
Aside the excessive audacity which breeds arrogance and pride with Igbos, This is the part i like about Igbos...Everything is business...let truth be told. Igbos are way ahead in business in Nigeria.

I entered Ladipo market one day and couldnt find one shop owned by a Yoruba man in the two hours i spent there. I think business is genetic for them. can you remember the ''my oga at the top stuff'' while some of us typed on the internet, Aba boys were thinking business. Mbaka spoke against GEJ, few days after, (Mbaka but why T. shirt was all over the market). They seem not interested in white collar jobs like every other tribe. If we have more entrepreneurs, the faster we come out of the corruption in public and civil service.

When i finished NYSC, i was retained in the bank with one Emeka boy..I remember during the interview, one of the panelists said, Emeka, you are supposed to be in Aba or Alaba, what are you doing here? the Igbo jokingly said, its capital am looking for..six years after, the Igbo boy resigned, we never knew he was combining banking with real estate business..on saturdays he was a house searching agent. he told me he sold two houses in Ikoyi and resigned...

Till i left the bank, his salary account was in millions...doing so well in business, the latest he told me last year was that, one of the panelists in that our interview is now his account officer...I just love the business part of them and maybe the way they adore their wives and children. They take family very seriously. Emeka is so wealthy and lavishes his wealth on his wife and 3 boys. Needless to say he inspired me into business and i am doing well too, but not anywhere near Emeka.

Throw them into the Lagoon and see the potentials of that water developed by them. Business is a spirit in them most of us find difficult to appreciate.

I am Yoruba however I endorse This 100%.

They have the gift of gathering resources and multiplying them.

Exactly What I said on that Oba 's thread.

Send Igbos out of Lagos and let's see.

Each tribe have a uniqueness they bring to the table and together We shine.

Nigerian married women cannot be the most unfaithful except you are talking about lesbian relationships as it takes a married woman and (married/single) man to tangle. The single men cannot be left out if they are in a committed relationship.

@ the correctness of it: no comment