₦airaland Forum

Thanks Dear

cococandy:
Nkwobi. Mmm nice

Bolded:
SMH i have hot temper o & single bone

Will simply throw you into the lagoon so you can cool down

And place you on a bill board of course

quivah:
that's absolutely true...I have a cousin who doesn't go along with her mum well, my aunt is what every one in the family tag 'woman tiger' .. so strict! but at emboldened„ she will definitely be a lil goddess in the eye of the family members. after all, she's the mother in law who always need to throw her fangs around..but I still won't deny the fact that there are still good family members who are aware of mils evilness, I believe covering up her act in public is the best way. she would be condemned in private.
but you know there are also some wicked dils ? wickedness is not a definition strictly for mils

thanks

Yeah, there are a number of welcoming families (esp from the husband's side) who know what marriage is all about.

There are also a number of terrible and wicked DILs that I shake my head when I hear their stories

The major flaw of this thread is that it never acknowledged that the relationship is a two way thing and a MIL also has a huge role to play on how the relationship turns out.

If a thread is opened on evil DILs, will be willing to discuss it.

Bolded:
and you should be on a sign post!

Bolded! Bolded!! Bolded!!!


[size=14pt]ON A BILL BOARD![/size]

5minsmadness:
You are not and can never be more important than his wife, let's just get that clear. What you guys have is more of a business relationship and not an emotional one.

Having said that, if he has been faithfully fulfilling his end of the bargain for services rendered and then suddenly over the past 3months he has reneged, then you should understand that something has happened. If he is a client worth keeping then I suggest you do some customer care and be understanding during this trying period. He will eventually pick up again. Unless you want to lose him to other 'mistresses' you have to play patience and understanding this period.

Is he your only client?

The bolded is only a feel Good line for wives with cheating husbands.

A man 'snatches' OP;

Pays her N150k monthly

Will give her toe curling orgasms

Would probably not have to cook, clean etc. al

Would be travelled about eith

Has been on for 3yrs


And she is not important?

I can bet my breakfast tomorrow that he doesn't give his wife that amount monthly or spend as much quality time as he spends with OP.

The wife is losing and is currently not as important as OP


I think the OP is trolling sha

cococandy:
I don't really have a single problem with those women mentioned, their image, their message or attitude. (I'm not a conservative person)

I'm just surprised at the people who use them as examples. It is so contrary to their regular message. Let me still assume I'm reading something wrong somewhere.

Well well

Even the femininity, I don't get. Can it be determined from the screen?

Is it their dress sense or sexual appeal?

I think it is more of sexuality...

Timbuktou:
If they have found love, by all means. . And if the man dies, as he is soon to, she can always move on and start afresh. Don't underestimate the power of love my dear BeeKay.

You sure don't mean that.

The widow of an old man?

Pardon me...

Anytime I read the story of David @ old age and the virgin keeping him warm at night, I can't fathom How his sons could be haggling for her.

I can't

cococandy:
I agree with feminity but submissiveness?
I've heard it all
I thought I heard it all when Beyoncé and Amber rose were handed to us as examples to follow.
Now I'm sure I've heard it all.

KK an example in female submissiveness?
I take it you've never watched an episode of the kardashians.

I'm sorry I'm must have been reading you guys wrong all my stay on nairaland.

Lol!

Well, different strokes for different folks

Still remember that thread where KK and Amber were Good women to emulate

I asked If they would be Happy If one of their sisters or wife is like her bar sex tape

And no answers.

And How many can live the life they are accustomed to living?

Relax, you will hear Some more some day.

I like to call life offline the 'real world'.

Timbuktou:
The first black doll I saw looked weird and wrong.

Lols

Timbuktou:
And why should he be marrying on fifty year olds and over? What's wrong in him picking a 30 something to get it on with or even a nineteen year old?

30 or 19 to 84+ ?

Fear God


1. Such a woman is too young for him and will still be in her productive years. We don't wants kids now, do We?

2. What happens when the man dies? A widow for life

3. That seems to be his preference


Would you advise a 19yr old or 30yr old to marry him?

Timbuktou:
She should go and sleep. Even if Kendrick met this woman last week, he should be under no pressure for choosing to marry her. There are a billion reasons, more important than complexion, that inform a couple to get married. If this Strober woman doesn't appreciate that, too bad for her. If Kendrick would have a dark-skinned woman but none has the balls-licking ability of his fiancee, the rest can go to lie on a railtrack for all he cares.

Preference or lack of is not enough reason for people to choose to invest in a particular item.

For us maybe.

We would all have our preferences

I love black phones, watches and cars however I would never buy a black doll.

damiso:
Yeepa you are buying into the stereotype

It's not always the case. I was a very very dark kid and I was cute if I do say so myself cute looking kids depend on how they are taken care of and groomed.

There are so many cute dark skinned children.

Lighter skinned kids look more attractive though.

That's why I don't want those kain talks around my daughter so she does not start feeling something is wrong with being dark skinned.

People need to be comfortable with their own skin and looks.There are millions of women who are more attractive,more beautiful, cuter etc than I am but What can I do than accept myself warts and all?

@Bold: Gbam I say it as I see it and your son might by cuter because you are trying to do opposite of what others do and you deny the guy of his God-given beauty

I agree that we should be comfortable in our skin and looks

Most importantly, people should have something going for them in their lives; discover themselves... it helps a lot and prevents one from hating on what others have

I have not seen a black skinned girl left out in Naija solely because of her colour

Timbuktou:
Exactly. Which is my problem with this woman. Maybe she just wants some drama in her life?

I think the thread has moved far from the OP

The woman was not angry that Kendrick engaged a light skinned woman; she was/is mad that Kendrick rode on his sympathy of dark skinned chics to fame while hiding his light skinned chic from them

This one too shall pass

I wish the bro goodluck in his marriage

quivah:
And oh I can't argue the fact there are no evil mils.. I will fail at it big time..my late Granny was a VERY bad mil gosh!

but I will as much as possible not debate any sort of issue based on that line...I wasn't there, was I? we can only drop comments based on what we perceived. equally I know a daughter wouldn't hit her mum cause her mum hit her over a flimsy issue.

besides i don't get the correlation between the issue between a mil-dil and mother-daughter .. different relations, roles and bonding..

A number of your posts here have been refreshing

@bold, thanks for been honest

To some, their family members becomes saintly once a wife enters the family

My mum knows I will not tolerant her becoming a pain in the butt of my SIL.

Stillfire:
A white man will show off using his white woman, an Indian an indian woman etc, but a black man's symbol of 'I have arrived or I am now international' is everyone else but not the black woman. You have proved my point. End of discussion.

Lolz

Timbuktou:
Is there any other way to consider them?

Really

I do not see black (complexion wise or feature wise) when I see them.

damiso:
Hi TV how's lil princess doing? Am sure she is growing so much as the weeks ago by.

I wonder how you would have pulled off the looks engineering

It does not matter to me though I think they are both beautifully and wonderfully made(like all mums think of their children monkey no fine but Im mama like am). I just think its highly insensitive to say things like ' gosh your son is so cute much Finer than his sister' or ' they should have swapped it the other way round as boy and girl' sometimes when my daughter is within hearing. We are doing all we can to build character first and everything else would follow. I never ever felt less 'finer' than lighter skinned people while growing up and bleaching or 'toning' never crossed my mind. My parents my dad especially helped with that.

Funny enough life is funny because I never thought I would be married to a lighter skinned dude the default setting used to be 'tall dark and handsome'

On the average,

Fairer kids are cuter (not white though)

njokusboy:
Am telling you, just look at Kelly Rowland, amber rose, beyonce and MEAGAN GOOD ... it's never really being about the complexion, it's about the baggage...
Black men love thick women... I don't find miley cyrus, Angelina Jolie or those othher skinny white chicks attractive one bit...
I won't mind some kardarsion though...
The only black endowed women I don't admire are the Whoopi goldbergs of this world and you know why

Do you consider Beyoncé or Amber Rose black women in the real sense of it?

Timbuktou:
Kendrick loves black, either light or dark. And he's chosen loyalty over all else and I respect that.
However, even if he left the black community and ventured into mulatto, yellow or white, I wouldn't have been the least bit bothered. Because, one can love something and find that the thing isn't a pragmatic element to their existence. It's that simple to me.

Oh well, because it is not our struggle, we really cannot understand them.

Ken can find a bride anywhere; the most important is a woman compatible for him and ready to build a home with him.

cococandy:
@bold, If only.

Lols!

Timbuktou:
Bukatyne, you're saying Kendrick hasn't stayed true to his brand and I ask, how so? Just because Kendrick favours dark balck doesn't mean he can't get it on with light black. There's nothing to talk about there, really.

I said that is the activist's problem with Kendrick.

If he left his light skinned babe for a dark skinned one, it would be an issue for me.

because Kendrick favours dark black doesn't mean he can't get it on with light black

True however we need to understand if he was saying 'dark black is also cool' or 'dark black is the only cool'

I would not fault him for getting on with light skinned, she came first; I will fault his message

crackhaus:
Tribalism goes much deeper, but skin tone just like beauty is only skin deep.
Now while the former is innately cultural, the latter is pure vanity

That's the difference.

Says who?

How skin tone is skin deep to you is how tribalism would be skin deep to them

crackhaus:
It might as well be our (Africans) struggle, haven't you all be saying that we (Nigerians) also prefer light skin women over darker shade?
So it's something we can relate to.

Nigerian prefer lighter skinned however, it is just that. It has not grown to a cause for worry yet.

crackhaus:
And err, black men don't hate on black women who marry other races...neither do black men hate on other black men of lighter shade.

Says?

Setaje:
This thing is not a matter of preference. It has become a norm. Let me use my parents as example. They've been married more than 30 years. While they were dating. My mum and dad went to visit a friend of of my mum who happens to be from the part of the country who have many light skinned women. When her friend saw my dad she said " your husband na dark man. Why u go marry person wey black like u. U are meant to marry a fair man or someone a bit light so your children can look a bit brighter and finer. She said where she is from, it is not said outrightly but it's a salient criteria. The lighter a child or a person is, the finer the person becomes.

My mum was shocked but didn't take it serious. This was as far back as the 60's. I have been told by guys to bleach a bit so I can have options. Funny enough all my friends are light skinned. I fought wiv one who told me to bleach so men can be calling me the way they call her. I felt bad that day but not as bad as the day I went for a job interview at an advertising company and was told that the role I was applying for they needed a fair skinned person just to attract people. I have had many other experiences. Hardly do u meet any man who his ideal girl isn't fair, slim etc. They all seem to have the same ideal woman. But I have learnt long time ago to accept what I cannot change. There are still men who look beyond skin colour. Sadly they are in the minority.

Funny thing is many biracial couples I know and the ones I have come across. They seem to always date or marry the dark skinned woman and not the fair ones. Strange!!!!!

I agree with you still it is not seen as a problem here really

The blackies (guys and ladies) either bleach or stay as they are...

I do not see dark skinned people organizing a rally to fight light skin preference in Nigeria today

Maybe in 100yrs time

quivah:
yeah.. I saw the thread And most people blamed both parties . but I was referring specifically to this thread..
mil have the right to be evil, dil should just accept it that way and be patient that's bullshit! that's the coolest way to build another set of bitter mils..
I'm quite happy the husband isn't like many here...else dil would be facing a bigger problem.. now, mil has no right to demand her son leave his wife. its left to the son tho.

@bold;

Ya head dey there

cococandy:
bukatyne

I would really like us to differentiate between AA's struggles and Nigerian's struggles and not group all into 'black'.

Nigerians surely have their problems... (the Oba has threatened to throw Igbos in the Ocean ) however skin shade is not a problem even if though we esteem fair skinned over dark skinned.

I cannot relate with 90% of the AA's problems.

crackhaus:
It's their struggle alright, but you can't equate it to tribalism in it's entirety.

The black woman has issues with the black man, the black woman also has issues with white women, the same black woman still ends up having issues with fellow black women that are of lighter shade... do you not see the problem?

Says who?

In the reality, what is the problem that we are of different tribes or skin tones? Does it matter?

The black woman has issues with the black man, the black woman also has issues with white women, the same black woman still ends up having issues with fellow black women that are of lighter shade... do you not see the problem?

I can equally say the black man has issues with the black woman entirely, with dark skinned black women and black women who marry from other races(Mostly on NL). (Look at one of shollypopz's posts)

Besides, this is the AA's struggle and not blacks' in its totality.

The black men and women have issues with each other (God knows who the blacks are sef) and should best solve it.

njokusboy:
If you copy my hairstyle and bleach your skin lyk mine, it simply means you re not comfortable with the way you are and desire to be like me... even a fool can deduce that...

And besides, your topic doesnot correlate to the OP.

quivah:
^^ true
an old woman should respect herself and her son's home and not engage in any form of violence especially the fact that she's the matured one..obviously mama didn't respect her age.. its worthy of note too that mama wouldn't have slapped her son or daughter if they were in the dil's shoe because no sensible child would push His/her mum to the point of receiving a slap(in this case; I believe the dil talked in the most irritating manner to her mil for her to must gave received a slap..)
however, it shouldn't justify the dil slapping a woman old enough to be her mum, her aunt or even her mum's aunt! she should have respected mama's age and the fact that she's her husband's mother even tho mama failed at being an elderly woman.
no body would blame the mother in any African home setting(the elder is always right..) this, every African knows . if her home happens to break, its solely HER fault.. but I won't fully put the Blame on her as most people are doing. both mil,dil and husband should share the blame and equally work towards making things right.

ps: mils should start respecting themselves too. not every body has the man power to act Jesus all the time. you don't preach patience and respect on one part and at the same time allow ' aggressiveness and intolerance from the other part. it won't always work that way !

The bolded should be on a bill board

njokusboy:
Hahahaha,
AA bleach because their weather dey scratch

Well well

Perhaps it would subdue it

crackhaus:
Yea I get this...but being with a light skin woman doesn't automatically mean women of darker shade are not good enough for marriage - he fell in love with someone and that's that.

Agreed

crackhaus:
So if Don Jazzy doesn't see Loya Milk in the supermarket closest to him (but there's Peak Milk), he must drive or walk a farther distance to get it at another supermarket because he promotes it?
Aren't both brands the same milk? .

Not a problem however if he leaves Loya Milk on the shelf and picks Peak Milk, then there will be a problem

crackhaus:
As an activist, she should know how to pick her battles.

The light-skin woman is still seen by the white man as AA just as much as she is. She's the one separating herself and drawing lines between dark shade and lighter shade of the same black woman.
Self-hate and low self-esteem is all I can ascribe that to, she's still not over her unfortunate past.

That is their struggle how tribe is ours and it is very real that's why Kendrick could cash in on it in the first place.

I do not pretend to understand it so I try to see it from their perspective and relate using brand ambassadorship here in Nigeria

It is big for them and we should respect that.

njokusboy:
You need to read back, I wasn't the one who brought up the self hate issue... but I insist that any black person that bleach suffers from self hate..
So what colour do black pple who bleach want to become... Green white green abi? Nigerian flag..

Nigerian people who bleach (yeah, men bleach also) do not bleach because they want to be like whites; they do so because the Nigerian society sees fair as beautiful; the fairer, the finer and the more you are 'enjoying'

Besides, our sun is harsh and makes us darker; some people bleach to counter the effects of the sun

My point is that it is not out of 'self hate' or wanting to become a white; they are probably still speaking their local dialect and living as others around them.

I do not know why AA bleach

And I never accused you of starting the self hate stuffs.

njokusboy:
How exactly is marrying a light skinned black woman equivalent to wanting to be white as against bleaching my skin to be white.... does marrying a white woman guarantee that I'd become light complexioned the next day Isn't it only a matter of preference, how does it relate?

Strange that wanting a light skinned girl is preference however wearing extensions is self hate

Marrying light skinned ladies ensures lighter skinned kids; our actions and inactions can be interpreted anyhow.

Besides, I do not think Nigerian girls who bleach et al want to be 'white'.