₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
You are the happy one that just happens to be surrounded by many unhappy naija marriages

1 in 1000... You called it right?

Enjoy

See you, I did not start the 1 in 1000; Shymex said 1 in 1000 husbands are selfish as regards their wives career growth and I said it is more

My views on marriage as always been seen as unorthodox So I really do not engage people offline.

I rather listen.

cococandy:
Not that.

I mean serious learning on the basic stuff and words. Sentence construction etc.

OK o

Odaro -Good night

kaboninc:
That your yoruba, e get as e be oh.

Na Yoruba Nigeria or Yoruba Amelica?

Which line
See as he wants to rain on my parade...rolls eyes

kaboninc:
I feel so scared seeing these Yoruba movies because the voodoo, is actually real.

Yea, it is really

They act What they see most times

Do not like them because most films are stupid.

A happily married man will still be shocking prostitutes

A faithful wife will still be sneaking

A genuine Christian would still consult herbalisrs

If a home is happy, watch out, either the wife or husband stillhas a sskeleton in the cupboard. The sweeter the home, the bigger the skeleton

Very rich people with haggard kids

Etc etc

cococandy:
You're not serious.

Ok I will look elsewhere

Look for someone to intepret my posts na

Timbuktou:
That sounds like a solid arrangement. Good for you if it works out. Truth is no arrangement is failure proof and all it takes it is one party to refuse to cooperate and it unravels. However, I chose to get on with it on my own terms.

It is working

And I 100% agree with you that all it takes is one party.

That's why the thought that women 'build' homes is misleading.

pickabeau1:
Women are over-worked?

Are you overworked in yours?
What is your frame of reference

All women have it Good, all Nigerian men are saints.

Happy?

kaboninc:
Really?

Yea

Why?

cococandy:
Will you teach me Yoruba?
Pls I'm serious.
I really want to learn.

I especially like Yoruba music

Take it as your offering to the lord.

Lols

I be Yoruba abroad .

Can write small sha

Ba wo ni?

Oko e nko?

Iyawo Olele, lowo sibi ni e

cococandy:
And dude was being hailed as the main man.

He was even lenient and frank in his opinions If you ask me.

The ones that hold worse and more derogatory opinions of women are usually given high fives and encouraged.

O guys cry us a river because we don't respond to hating with undeserved love.

You don't want to be a Good 'naija ' woman

pickabeau1:
Lol
I hear you

I guess you saying that naija men are leeches on their wives is praise right?


On your constant diatribes on naija marriage, Nigerian god
What has been your points


You're too good to be associated with your roots?

Who said Nigerian men are leeches or are you referring to another thread?

We are saying women are over-worked: 2 different things.

Nigerian marriages and Nigerian god, my opinion will not change.

This OP is a part of Nigerian marriage.

Not all marriages are like that and in Some, the man is the woman in the OP.

Ashamed to be associated with my roots ke? I loff. Iron and buba die

I nor get 'English' name... sweet Yoruba ones. I am using a hymn with English and Yoruba translation, will go for the Yoruba.

OK, don't like Yoruba nollywood and soups much

cococandy:
No.

Praising women is the pastime.
I need glasses cos it seems I've been reading some posts wrong.

I can lend you mine

There is still one thread for marriage haters where women were described in a pathetic manner.

That's woman lovin'

BABE3:
lol. I am happy when Feminists ( not women) are bashed. Point of correction. And if it so happens that everyone on here is a feminist, oh well....

Good. Don't let my posts give you hbp. Face ya work.

High bp ke?

Whatever makes you happy

I don't care about bashing feminists. It cannot make me money.

babygirlfl:
I would have totally agreed with you but for one reason. The same mother in law from another generation won't behave the same way when she visits her married daughters home. If she behaved the same way, then you can then say it's the generation difference.

That is what I find ridiculous.

freecocoa:
I didn't say women should start cautioning their MILS or others for that matter, I'm saying, everything doesn't have to turn into a court room setting with a judge(maybe hubby) presiding.

If you really take time to look into issues between MILS and DILS, you'll realize it usually starts from petty issues, like serving mama cold food(even when it was only warm not really cold) to mama dictating how to run the house, I'm only saying, these issues can be nipped in the bud by these wives before they turn into a giant ball of evil/trouble.

Are you saying one can't talk to her MIL about some things?

Talking to Mama depends solely on the relationship between them and when mama is complaining of hot or cold speaks volumes about their relationship.

Besides, mama should learn how to eat the soup the way it is served If there is no health issues or pray that wifey learnsher ppreference or wait till she gets home to eat What she likes.

pickabeau1:
Haha...

I guess only Nigerians eat 3 square meals




Bashing men is d pastime here
That was the intent of both the picture and the original poster

You base ur world view on stories of people
No problem
My point is that if Nigerian men ND marriages are a wreck as y'all like to paint...who then are the 1 in 1000 with perfect marriages

Is that not contradictory?

now you are not asking for perfection
That was why I used the example of the west

Even the western males are not perfect

What u women should do is working together to improve the family setting and not against

And bashing women is not a pasttime?

Don't make me laugh

Who said all Nigerian marriages are a wreck? Who said all Nigerian men are evil or whatever?

This is one thing that gets to me...

If you have a problem with mine post, quote me and let us discuss.

If out want to address male bashers, quote them and take up your issues with them.

TreQuartista:
Flawed analogy. . .

Where is it established that eating '3 square meals' is a 'Nigerian thing'? Remember we are talking about 'traditional (or to use the loosely bandied about term - typical )Nigerian setting/family' here.

Perhaps you should define '3 square meals' and relate it to Naija?

Can you point out where I established it is Nigerian?

BABE3:
bukatyne, I don't understand you. What blood did you mix?

You and hubby's in the skin searching business

BABE3:
wetin dey shock una?

Honestly, the solution lies with women. They are the ones that want to change the status quo.


So far women like the one in the OP exist, men like shymexx will continue to think that's the picture of the ideal woman. And so far women remain marraige hungry, the men will continue to go for those type of "superwoman" women.
Like someone said "who no like mumu person? ".

The women that isn't the woman in the picture will always be considered a "bad wife", "non-wife material". And by natural selection, they become extinct.

You have always sounded as someone who thinks the woman in the OP is the ideal. You also seem happy when women are bashed. (No offence)

As to the women being the solution; that is a textbook on it's own.

Now I know you like to get under skins, I will start laughing when I see your skin searching posts

Timbuktou:
The manipulation is chiefly by the strong-and-independent crew who claim to be equal but still require a higher status male to hook up with. Hypergamy is as real as the earth, and while women may choose to ignore and denounce its existence, it wouldn't be wise for a man to tow the same line

Not everyone considers a higher earning man.

Never wanted a man who will tell me the story of my life because a cup broke

I see myself as strong and interdependent.

I need my husband and he needs me

There is no competition

pickabeau1:
Story

Yes you(and all the naija men bashers) have an perfect marriage and we're raised by super dad's yet you just happen to be an authority on bad marriages which are surfeit around you

Your own just happens to be the 1 in the 1000...

Lol

OwKAY

Can you pull out where I bashed Nigerian men? I like references.

I hear stories and read

And no my dad is not perfect.

Besides nobody is asking for perfection.

cococandy:

You know I am patient na

Perhaps he will reply before the turn of the next century.

I like bringing things close to home

Shollypopzz:
That one really scared me! It still annoys me till today when I see some folks.

"shifting responsibilities to men in case of abuse"...........Errmm, I hope you are aren't talking about this past thread. Feminists have acknowledged time and again, that on the average, men are physically stronger than women. Any man that talks about beating a woman till he was satisfied is not innocent in my books.

Was that particular op's life threatened? Did the wife hit him first? Responding to a verbal attack by getting physical is wrong. At the end of the day, all the judge wants to know is who hit who first.

I think Freecocoa is a feminist

BABE3:
its fun to get under people's skin. plus i know all the feminism chants na wash.

Una blood don mix abi?

SirShymexx:
Your argument for female gender is also applicable to the black/African race, with black men as the most affected. Look at it from a universal perspective and you'd see that black men are the most affected on the planet. Black women still have it better on the totem pole - reality.

Nah, my post's synonymous with the civil rights movement, where all the disadvantaged folks on the planet marched together, and asked for universal change in scheme of things. We're both in the struggle together!

Being a superwoman is what every black woman should endeavour to be. The mothers. Strong black woman was coined from superwoman virtues - be glad all these things are delegated to you, while the men work their socks off to put food on the table. It's not easy on these streets.

What happens when a man and woman work?

Should she still be glad that all the chores are delegated to her?

BABE3:
I don't think there's anything wrong or unfair with the way timbuktou runs his family.... he pays all the bills; she does all the chores; she keeps most of her money to herself.

Super fair! He can claim head-ship.

The problem though is with the economy, most homes need the 2 hands on deck when it comes to providing. In this case, it's only fair they share the chores. But the men in these homes don't want chores at all.

Any woman that puts up with that is a masochist.

Like that woman in OP's picture, the excess baggage must be giving her orgasms.

What do you expect the woman to do?

Infact earning especially more means the wife must be mor. 'Submissive'

Timbuktou:
hehehe. That's usually how it works, but any overt attempts at power-grabbing will be met with resistance.

You should read it; you can get a free pdf online.

Might do

Subtle manipulation isn't for me; I prefer intelligent discussions and both agreeing to the best option available.

I would feel very guilty maniputing someone to do What I want.

We are different anyways.

BABE3:
I agree with damiso too and slimyem.

The "problem" is very universal.

Hollywood and Disney paint the white man as the "ideal modern man", and we believe it. The true picture of a typical western family is very different.

the white man complains of his wife getting fat after babies. He also uses that as an excuse to cheat.
the white woman too complains of being overwhelmed even with the availability of dishwashers, vaccum cleaners etc.

a typical white male (young or old) still expects females to cook for him while he plays fifa '15.

Like slimyem said, the gender equality thing is going in the wrong direction.

The men are still stuck in their old ways/roles. They dont feel the need to change since its women that want equality anyways. But for gender equality to work in any setting, both parties have to actively change their ways.


I don't see that happening anytime soon.
We can force men to pay child support and outrageous divorce settlements. But can we force them to do dishes and help in the kitchen?

Is This Babe?

Color me shocked

The elections will surely be Good.

I like to reference Nigerian because that is What I am familiar with. I don't even reference African men because that cut across a lot of dynamic cultures.

Like I said Some years back, the 'fight' now should be mental.

If people's mentality do not change, We will be stuck in the same spot.

Modified: you even believe in equality?

Interesting.

Timbuktou:
The wife is the head if she calls the shots in the home, even if the husband earns more

my wife could be as rich as Alakija for all I care. I'm ze boss baby. She don't like it, she can bounce and I get a newer model.

Lols

Well she might decide to call the shots by setting you up to call her shots with your mouth.

What was the book on the manipulated man?

Need to read it sef.

SirShymexx:
Those are just isolated case of selfish insecure men who are alas uso control freaks. If you were to do the ratio, it’d probably 1:1000 or more. As a man, as you start having kids – the priority shifts from you to the kids, even if you view ya wife as a mere appendage. Obviously, with that – having a high-flying wife is more of security and back-up plan, should in case life happens to you. Life’s a roller-coaster – with ups and downs. Which means: you might be at the top today, and fall face flat tomorrow. You never know what the future holds regardless of how meticulously you plan for it. So, once you have a high-flying wife as a “security” – you know your children will always get the best regardless of what happens to you – and vice versa. The priority is always most about the children.

Also, the world is so different right now that everyone needs a support system…and you can’t do it all by yourself, especially when kids are involved. The security/back-up plan is a necessity. So, just because a few backward men are like that – it doesn’t mean the overwhelming majority are like that. Most guys with careers go for women on the same level. Personally, I’ll never even get into a serious relationship with any chic that isn’t on my level. And even with that – I’ll always push her, the same way I push myself – to aim for the tops.

Anyway, with the picture – all I can see is an utter weakling. And it’s in bad taste.

1:1000 is probably in Utopia

Here, it is way way more...

And I know quite a number of men push and encourage their wives to do more and understand that either's success is amount success. I know Omo T's husband and Dora 's husband because of their wives.

A guy here still said his uncle was enjoying because his wife was at home to cook fresh food for him.

I asked If he would like it when all his married sister can be said to achieve is cooking fresh soup daily and he is yet to reply me

pickabeau1:
So what is your frame of reference

If your sphere of influence does not have men who are tied of their wives' aprons so what is the correlation to say this is a typical Nigerian marriage

im sure you know what typical means



If it is typical, that means a lot of females are also having these kind of marriages....

With your logic, all Nigerians eat 3 square meals because I can afford to or all Nigerians can afford a G-Wagon because all of Folorunsho Alakija 's family can afford it.

And yes, a lot of ladies have such marriages where they are expected to be Shakira, Dora Akunyili and super star in cleaning all at nice while the man only part provides.

pickabeau1:
As usual.. always dodging questions

You lot come here and say typical typical

Is it happening in your marriage
Is it or Did it happen in your parents marriage
Is it or Did it happen in your siblings marriage

Then you will say NO

Then why do u come online and say typical typical

Always dodging... can I see some posts where I dodged? I like proof you know

So it does not happen in my marriage means it does not happen else where or it means I should close my eyes to what I see?