₦airaland Forum

rationalmind:
Majority of those who have commented before me have conveniently highlighted the disadvantages and left out the advantages.

Let's not deceive ourselves, we all need each other.

I live with a young couple myself, they both come back from work late at night and meet food on the table. The wife only cooks on Saturdays and Sundays. They need not bother about ironing their clothes which I do without being told, I sweep the house, clean the house, fetch water, wash the dishes, fuel the gen, and almost every other household chore you can think of. Did I tell you I also go to work just like them and come back very tired? Yes, they can get a maid. Need I remind you of the magodo maid? That apart, won't the maid also appear as an intruder? Won't the lack of privacy still be there?

As much as I need their accommodation and might one way or the other inconvenience them, as far as I'm concerned, they also need me.

So, before you talk of the lack of privacy and all that, remember you also need that cousin, that nephew, and that niece who wants to come and stay with you.

You spoke like a relative who knows his or her duties.

Just add staying out of the couple's way sometimes and you are perfect.

I would not like a live in relative for a long period of time.

Justfollowit:
One of the judges, Lady Hale in particular would have done a good job in convincing other judges because she is a feminist and she likes interpreting legal rules so wide than she should be allowed to.

I can see the legal reasoning behind it but for policy reasons it should be overruled.

I still wondering the feminism angle here

It would apply If a man had won such a ruling before. The woman is at best playing a victim here. If she never remarried, I would understand (which is not even the man's fault because he couldn't stop her If she wanted to) but she remarried So What ties does she have with him?

Is the ex married?

coogar:
it's the UK, my mind tells me she would win. more ridiculous claims like this have won in the past so it's no biggie. the father of her first child is alive & well.......why hasn't she taken him to court?

She is picking them as the spirit leads.

I fear that in making all these foolish rulings, We will be back to where We started from

Women being treated like kids with no sense.

dinachi:
Scammer. Are you by any chance saying you have experienced miriajs evil lifestyle before? Now I understand, you are the one that wears the pants in your marriage!.Kai Azubuike son suffer walahi! My prayers for your husband is that he does not die of sudden stroke occasioned by the HBP you have given him from your irresponsible and sick lifestyle. While you keep wishing for a real man to come and take you away from your wussy of a husband...Kai you are indeed wicked, stop scamming these young foolish women listening to you . There are definitely other ways to punish the world for your misfortune in marriage..

I am trying to reconcile a woman controlling her husband in one post and enduring abuse in the same marriage is the next post.

For someone who clamours against verbal abuse in marriage especially from women, one would expect you lead the crusade by your posts being pleasant to the eyes.

coogar:
the woman was 21 & while the man was 19 when they married. she already had a daughter prior to her marriage. they were together for just 3 years & then they separated. no financial settlement was made after the divorce cos the man was poorer than a church rat.

13 years after their divorce, the man started making money. this woman remarried as well & has made children in her new marriage. they both moved on with their lives. why would she even think of going to make claims from her ex hubby?

it's so ridiculous.....

Some people would try anything If they can get away with it.

If This woman wins, more women would be tempted to try.

She should tell her mother asap

coogar:
but they have told her it would be difficult for her to claim a dime. they have just given her the go ahead to go to a court & claim - they haven't awarded her a dime. she has to spend her money or get legal aid to take the matter to court and if she loses, more debt on her name.

her husband had nothing while they were together. the money came 5 years after their divorce. this couple generated nothing in the way of assets between them while married, and 50% of zero is what they were both entitled when the divorce was finalised.

i cannot believe a woman can come to pursue the money her husband made 5 years after their divorce. the child between them is 32 & now works for the man. shey na child support this woman wants to claim or what? some women have no shame. after leaving him when he was poör, she suddenly remembers him when he became a multi-millionaire.

What the woman needs is to appeal to her son to take care of her needs in a village square meeting.

The court does not come into the picture at all

pickabeau1:
I gave him sex
I gave him my body
I gave him a child



I gotta get mine



Asking for money to raise your own child

Some women's mentality since the garden of Eden

Lols

Tomorrow, men say the child is theirs and they used a woman when the relationship ends innit?

Hahaha

Bia pick, who owns a child?

Timbuktou:
Tobechi, I don't think it's marriage you hate. Btw, your posts have been nothing but the truth. You understand women, now you need to understand how to handle them in marriage.

You have a really low opinion of women.

Wonder How you relate with your wife, mother and female relatives.

Or is This a case of all women are fish brained except my family members?

@OP:

Is This conclusion of yours due to What you saw in your parent's and relatives' marriages?

Do you have sisters? Are they married?

What is the woman seeking compensation for?

What of the subsequent men in her life? Read she had other kids?

Why is the son not taking care of his mother?

I think the court should tell the woman to get a job and the son to care for his mother.

Justfollowit:
I knew Lady Hale would be a feminist and I am pretty sure she gave the leading speech.


The woman is lucky that her husband was really kind to have let her live #greedybitch#

What has feminism got to do with it?

Running What feminism is in my head and I can't relate it to the story.

It is well with you OP

I like your attitude in the face of your challenges. You will laugh at last.

Tough times never last but tough people do.

Crazy

Evina:
LOL. This kinda cheque is only valid for 3 seconds.

I will pretend not to see..

Cutehector:
remind me to become my mistress wen I get married

Excuse me?

Evina:
Oh bukatyne! What can I buy you?
I read the second point, rolled my eyes and stopped reading!

See blank cheque

I need to think for 3 days.

Read This piece and it sounds wack everytime I read (no offense to the OP)

If a man tours everywhere with you and goes back to his wife, the gf enjoyed the man and the wife has the shell. When he gets home, the wife would cook,.draw a bath etc. But he would have pampered his gf.

Some gf s who play their cards well get more money.

And no, an average mistress is not interested in marriage

He doesn't love his wife either... he actually uses his wife to destress So he can be fresh for his mistress.

And strangely, Some men leave their wives for their mistresses.

This post is not enough to make prodigal daughter's come home

In your post, wife gets the short end of the stick.

Good daddy

The girl looks too young to romance a pole.

Not that there is a right age sha

My mama is my friend on FB. She sometimes view NL as a guest but doesn't like the frequent cursing

My peeps all know my NL username too.

Don't plan to do anything to make my family ashamed of me So no lele

5minsmadness:
This couple have been married for three years and have two kids. The man met his wife at his workplace during which time she had just finished nysc. They got to know each other better and soon they became a couple and got married. The man helped her get a job at his place of work but noticed she didn't mention his help to her parents, making it look as if she got the job herself. However he overlooked it thinking it was no big deal.

Recently however he has come to realise that his wife doesn't love him. He feels this way because she never acknowledges his good deeds around the house, is never willing to listen to any advice he has to give but rather takes her friend's advice over his. Most times he asks for sex she says she is tired or in her period or that they should postpone it to the next day And when the next say reaches she pretends to forget. If the man insists it turns into a big fight and they don't talk for days.

The man decided to be helping her around the house in case housework was overwhelming her as they don't have a nanny. He washes the clothes, picks the kids from school, cooks food for the kids and feeds them when she comes late from work and he is the one at home. Despite all this it seems he is making no headway as their sex life has not improved. The man decided to stop asking for sex but the wife didn't even notice.
She rarely serves him his food properly. He comes from a traditional family where the woman serves the man food as soon as he comes back from work. She says she was not brought up that way and starts cooking the food when the man comes home. He decided to be understanding and accepted to wait. But he finds if he doesn't remind her, she doesn't near the kitchen to cook for him. He had now resorted to serving himself when he gets home, thinking his wife will get the message but she is comfortable with it.

He feels the wife no longer has feelings for him and left for him would have divorced her long ago, but he doesn't believe in divorce. Also he is worried about the kids and how it will affect them if they separate.


Pls advice needed.

When does the wife get home? When does the husband get home that he is expecting his food covered on the table? Trying to understand the time difference here

Your subsequent posts say the woman lost the urge after child birth... one of nature's curses Once fortnightly is toolittle for sex but again if the woman is on or either of them have a project at work or sick, then they might get down fewer times. That said, the wife should develop Interesting and the hubby should learn the art of pre-intimacy even from the morning.

@Traditional husband: if he wanted traditional, he should have married a traditional wife. They both should meet in the middle and do things their own way. All the my mom/dad does a, b, c ends before marriage.

@Chores: I am sorry I don't understand a man wanting to be worshipped because he cleans his own home and takes care of his kids. Don't get me wrong; the wife should appreciate him however it is his duty.

I thanked my parents for paying my school fees but If they don't pay it, who will?

The husband might have come across nagging without hitting the nail on the head.

The wife is insensitive to her husband's feelings else she should have picked up Some vibes. She is also not appreciative of his efforts. She 'forgetting' to cook means she is a joker.

Solution:

They need to talk to understand each person's expectations and strive to meet them.

They should also understand each other's love languages... the wife might appreciate the husband paying for a nanny and crossing his legs in the sittingroom watching ball while the man is busy washing plates to make her happy. The husband seems to like verbal accolades etc.

The husband should also understand the kind of wife he has. Some like their men nonsense; being nice to them might make them take him for granted.

If open heart discussion does not yield positive results, let him forget about her and find other interests outside the home and do ssomething like change his wardrobe etc. Getting her to notice him without pointing it out.

If all fails, he has to manage the situation... lack of love is not a reason for divorce.

The husband should forget cheating except If he wants to checkout from the marriage.

bisdansun:
My wife is 4 months gone but you will hardly know. But to me she is still the Angel and most beautiful lady on earth.

I love you my Angel.

Sexy preggie

God bless your home

tchiwinnie:
thank u plenty. I ll try anoda one soon.

You are welcome

When you try, send mine here o!

babyosisi:
I really respect,love and appreciate my husband for telling me from day one that his mom was a tough woman
I went Into the marriage with total disclosure so it was helpful so for that I maintained my cool for 4 months by his encouragement until I lost it when she called my parents mad
One can only take so much
Many of these people talking have moms that doesn't get along with anyone on the street let alone yard
All these women that fight in motor parks and market places,are they not people's mothers?
There are mothers who fought and punched their husbands and everyone in sight and beat them up in fits of rage
Tore clothes off the bodies of their co wives
Tomorrow when her son marries,she becomes a saint abi?
The young woman that had soup poured on her,dies anyone want to tell me that son didn't know the mother he had?

When a man sees his mother acting badly despite his advise,he should make her leave especially if he was living in peace before she came.

Very true

We like to deceive ourselves a lot na

akinsadeez:
If the father truly abandoned her for a year, then the guy is justified in making d statement. If one's daughter gets pregnant, is it the right thing to literally throw her out? The father himself is heartless and he also contributed to this issue. Anybody can make a mistake. You correct her with love and maturity and make her see reasons and not abandon her to her fate.

If the statement is true, then to me, it is not an insult to tell him to his face. Maybe he will also learn a lesson from that.

So you will take it lightly If your daughter's boyfriend tells you that to your face because you abandoned her for a year?

It is not an insult?

Goodluck to you

cococandy:
But you didn't answer my question.

He's very mouthy too. Probably worse than the girl from the way I see him systematically throw his belittling punches at the so called mother of his jewel.

Does he deserve to be beat?

He insulted the girl's father. If he sends boys to come beat him up, would you say he deserved it?


Oh bukatyne
Hello friend

nairaland!

Hi dear

kaboninc:
My dear, this is just common sense. They say the Constitution guarantees you freedom of speech. But freedom after speech, it cannot be guaranteed!

If you use your mouth in a foul way, then you deserve to be spanked. Just that it may be through beatings. Do you know some ladies actually become to first to hit?

Like I said, I do not hold brief for the guy but from the post of this lady, in fact, she really contributed to her problems. She fuelled, watered and nurtured it with her mouth.

I can confidently say that the man is more civilised, informed and exposed than her. A wise woman learns from that not compete.

Men make mistakes but a woman should not double it feast on it.

Oh, your friend Bukatyne is around!

Do We have any business together?

sweetcocoa:
I think you should read my other posts.

I have read them all.

sweetcocoa:
wtf are you talking about? If my daughter packs her beg to go live with a man she's not married to, then whatever she gets, is her beeswax.

I will do my part by teaching her to make better judgments, you hear me? I will actually bury my head in shame if this OP is my daughter because as far as I'm concerned, I failed as a parent, I'm in my mid 20's and I've never gotten pregnant and if happen to get pregnant tomorrow, I will take full responsibility so long as I wasn't raped.

Women too were created with common sense, is it a crime to use it? You go out with a guy, get pregnant, decide to have the baby and you turn around to solely blame the guy? What kinda thinking is that one?

Lol @ cutting his JT, why do you all think it is only abuse when someone gets hit?

Did the OP ever blame the guy for getting her pregnant?

Must have missed it.

sweetcocoa:
Okay, You are not totally without blame, I will keep saying I'm a woman and that's to lay emphasis on the fact that I understand how most women behave especially when it involves a fight.

One thing I agree with you on totally is that you can and will never be able to match the OP word for word, it's just not possible except she didn't write what I read. It's just that since you hit her and many don't understand that verbal abuse is as bad as physical abuse, you will forever remain the beast for hitting a woman.

She didn't refute all your claims, she's just trying to tell us why she did what she did which is leaving me confused because you are saying you didn't do all those things.

One thing is clear, this woman does not respect you and is very immature, how can you call the father of your child all those names in a public forum?

You on the other hand deserve some strokes of the cane for letting it linger for so long, and you sound like you did her a favor by being with her, that must have affected her self esteem and further damaged her, you two should stay away from each other for now atleast.

The woman is abusive for calling the father of her child bla bla on NL but nothing to the guy who accuses his babymama 's daddy of abandoning her to his face.

Interesting.

babyosisi:
If I ever saw a good case of cherry picking,this is it
You should take it up as a profession
If her own son and some of her children who know this full story could chastise their mom and ask her to apologize to me,it speaks volumes.

The truth is that a number of these guys know which of their family members are no go areas but will still try to defend the indefensible.

I also do not understand the nonsense of trying to form Good and active wife when your husband has clearly warned you about Some of his family members.

VickJames:
I don't concern myself with what the wife will be doing with her family. Her business.

Oh! Now its the MIL that selects DIL for men now. Hehehehehhehe.
You have forgotten how humble most women are when they want to marry these men. They deceive everyone and when they get married, they start showing their colours.

Ladies of nowadays bad sha!

The MIL business did not start today So the point of nowadays ladies is moot

I asked you a simple question: Can the wife's father also correct the husband?