₦airaland Forum

maclatunji: On the contrary, just pointing out the contradictions in your thought process to you.

maclatunji: Don't mind them, if it is not their way, it has to be derided. #Typical

maclatunji: My dear embrace your femininity, don't run away from it. Nothing outside the love of God can beat a mother's love for her children. That implies some degree of sacrifice.

It is not by gra-gra, it is with wisdom, perseverance and the Grace of God that you will get there.

I fear for the thoughts that run through the heads of young ladies of these days. Very little patience.

dayokanu: Yes your daughter who copped a loan of $100k to be a Neurosurgeon, Lawyer, Engineer, Pharmacist etc, schooled for 10yrs should be a Housewife cooking, cleaning and washing clothes

honeychild: @bukatyne
yes I am a stay at home Mum. I was a professional woman till I had my first kid.... and I was darned good at my job too. I finished school at the top of my class. But when I had my daughter I just knew there was no way I was going to let anyone else raise her for me. I quit my job.

Just last August I ran into my old boss at the airport and he was still offering me my job back. But not just yet.

Kids need their Mums. That is my firm belief. And when my friends who are working Mums are honest they agree. No woman who has has to drop a 6 month old baby at day care ( or worse leave her at home with Ekaette) will tell you she feels no guilt. But I am fortunate. I do not need to work. Staying at home with my kids is a luxury. And I am thankful for it.

cowgurl: too bad you see it wrong for a mother to do such jobs-they ain't, so long she's there for her family.
and if you wanna be a doctor or a lawyer, then go to school on time, gain some experience working in a hospital or a law firm as the case may be , then go ahead and be a one-woman-boss(since you ain't doing it for the money) before raising a family.

*sorry, gat to go now*

maclatunji: You said you are going to "have it all", that does not look like acceptance of deficiency in any regard to me. Now, as for men- Children need to know and accept that fathers are providers within a family, they work hard to provide for their family, women do not have to compete with men in this regard. However, many men do acknowledge that they have to spend time with their kids too and as such make allowance for such. I subscribe to this position.

I once had a very tough boss but as tough as he was, anytime his wife visited his office, he would leave the office with her as soon as she left. Every other thing could wait till the next day- if she didn't come, he would almost work you all to death.

honeychild: sorry my dear you cannot have it all. Life is all about choices. I do not know if you are a mother yet or not, but if you are tell me you do not feel the guilt when you come home late - not necessarily because you were working late - but because of traffic or some other factor, the kids are asleep and the help has to tell you what Junior did or did not do...

coogar: is it not the same thing or are you thinking reversely?
if my wife prefers her career more than quality upbringing then she should not have kids. if she cannot have kids, how would i have one? don't i need her to make kids with me again or what's wrong with you people?

jennykadry: Why would a woman who is educated, want to sit at home and do nothing? I'm sorry I am not trying to be nasty but I just can't understand. I value my independence, I want to be able to purchase anything I want without a dime from my husband.

Yes I know they are lots of good men who take care of their sit at home wives, some even pay them salaries. We all receive money from our men but knowing that I have something going into my account as a result of my hardwork leaves me with a sense of pride. I wanna be able to purchase an LV shoe like Psquare with my own money without feeling like I am bugging my husband

I want to make a life with the education my parents blessed me with.

maclatunji: Of course not, but know that as you chase the glory of your career. You are somewhat shortchanging your children. The top female executives I know do not deny this, what they try to do is try and make it up to their children- some try with gifts or taking them out to special places that they normally wouldn't visit. For others it is sparing no expense for their children's education and comfort. They do all of these to comfort their children because they know that nothing can replace the time, care and bonding they ought to share.

It also happens in marriages, some men know that their wives don't love them that much but are faithful and dutiful to them and as a result will provide any material things they need or do not even need. The man and the wife know that the mutual love isn't there but they try and comfort the other for the marriage to be the next best thing to two sweethearts living together as man and wife.

Your refusal to acknowledge these points is what sells you short in this argument.

honeychild: that is exactly what you said. You owe all stay at home mums an apology

fellis: I didn't know whether to laugh or destroy my laptop after I read what he wrote.
These narcissistic sexists will never cease to amaze me.

goodmike7: The husband because men don't really lie but women lie wit every thing amidst tears.

coogar: then by all means such women with dreams and aspirations should not have children. they can stay married and still be happy without kids. it gives them the launching pad to hop to greater heights in their respective career ladders.

maclatunji: @All, you really need to put things in proper perspective. The fact that a woman is a housewife does not automatically mean she does not work or earn any money at all.

Myne White who started this thread is a good example, she has published 2 well-received novels internationally. Let us have a look at the estimated value of her blog:

mynewhitmanwrites.com has a global traffic ranking of 81,921 in the world. This site is estimated worth of US Dollar $ 95,760.00 and have a daily income of around $ 133.00 US Dollar. As no active threats were reported recently by users, mynewhitmanwrites.com is SAFE to browse.

http://www.pagerank.eu.com/www/mynewhitmanwrites.com

Now, how many of the ladies here screaming: "I cannot be a housewife" have assets whose estimated networth is $95, 760 at all or from their career alone? Let us turn that to Naira at $1=N160 (95,760 x N160= N15,321,600) and for estimated daily income which is $133 to Naira (133 x N160= 7,980). How many of you have a net daily income of N7,980? In a month, that is N7,980 x 30= N239,400. How many of you have net savings of N200,000 per month.

Stop making noise already. The creator of this thread has made a valid point by her actions because if you say this estimates are on the high side, we have not added royalties from her two novels online and offline.

She has time for her family, she can travel, she is making money- abeg what else?

cowgurl: ...chasing two BIG rats you mean.
is there any thing wrong with a mother working in a government parastatals that resumes @ 9 and closes @ 4 + she can even skip being @ work to be with her kids in case of emergencies without anyone taking cognizance? or teaching/lecturing?
what about harnessing her potentials and putting it to use (or are you saying she has none to?) that would be deadly you know!

coogar: both parents of course.....
the 2 of them must put in a combined shift of at least 6 hrs per day devoted to their kids. mothers would definitely get to spend more time in the weekdays cos fathers would be at work. however, the father should relieve his wife during the weekend so the mothers can have some rest! marriage is a partnership venture.

coogar: you're right, i do not know what a stay-at-home mum is. so why don't you tell us what it means, madam oxford dictionary? the 30 hrs claim does not even need any more validation. everywhere i looked, quantity/quality time couldn't be overstated. it's more than 30 hrs per week......[b]women who value their children pick them up themselves from school and stay with them till the kids call it a day. the ones who drop them at after school clubs and karate centers deny their kids and cheat them of the quality time they need to bond with their parents[b]. you can take that to the bank!

sexybash: every one wants a perfect partner but no one wants to be perfect and thats why most relationship fail,
who go call first,
who go first say i love you first
who go beg first humbleness is never a sign of weakness but strenght
even in relationship where they claim to love themselves they still go around with pride, love shatter all procedures if love my man why wont i call him, why wont i beg him if i offend him, why wont kneel in front him in public, so if you want your relationship you should be willing to listen to your partner at all time, even when you are tired because that the only person that makes you happy
my one kobo



i dey wait for those girls that will attack me[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

maclatunji: Hahaha and the world is not for you is it?

coogar: of course, there's no empirical evidence that a career woman would also get by if her spouse suddenly kicks the bucket......the sole source of income works a good job, has a good pension scheme and an air-tight life insurance scheme, how would the family suffer if he dies? please, stop envisioning nollywood examples here where a breadwinner dies and the woman's woes would quadruple overnight with inlaws homing in to chase her out of her husband's house. we are talking about real world here, abeg!




when we become parents, the responsibility is a full time one. full-time means that parents are at home with their children because children build their trust in themselves from a safe and secure base. when they do not feel safe, they cannot learn. i repeat, when children are fearful, they cannot learn. and when their parents are not regularly with them, children are fearful. fear in children goes beyond looking scared. it can manifest itself in as many ways as each child is unique, sleep problems, temper tantrums, clinginess, lethargy, defiance, aloofness and a myriad of other behaviors. basically, fear makes children insecure.

young children under six years old do not understand why their parents leave them in the care of others for long periods of time. all they know is that you are [b]not there. they may learn how to cope, but there is a wide gulf between coping and thriving. child care teaches children how to cope. child care is not the same as early childhood education which allows children to expand their learning experiences appropriate to their age.

early childhood education means about two or three hours a day, three to five days a week depending on the age of the child. child care, on the other hand, de facto occurs when you leave your children somewhere all day or most of the day, most every day. no matter how "good" or expensive or "quality" the facility, the inescapable reality is the amount time the child is in a care facility.

the message you tacitly send to your child is: you are not important enough to me for me to be with you. no matter what the circumstances of your life or what you say to your child, your child internalizes that he is not first in your life, which makes him not feel safe. young children need to spend the vast majority of their time with their parents. money cannot buy love![/b]

maclatunji: Generalising? No. You said it yourself, "you have a destiny to fulfill" and that destiny can only be fulfilled by being an Amazon in the career you have chosen. You cannot have both 'Professional Amazon' and 'Super Mom'.

maclatunji: It depends on the circumstance, someone like Bukatyne is obviously more concerned about herself and career than anything else. Some mothers have to work for their children to survive- two different scenarios of working women.

naijababe: The woman don confuse me finish.

maclatunji: Bukatyne, you really need to retract this statement and apologise to the millions of wonderful women out there who have decided to put their family and especially children first. Women whom you are not even good enough to wash their dirty clothes if intellect were to be used as a measuring tool for selecting people for the task.

We know, you want to reach the top of your career (good luck with that), but stop writing rubbish here on that score.

Truckpusher: Lmao...there you go again...i'm working because i want to make money and be comfortable and i've not seen anybody that wants to work just for the fun of it.....na wao if i love to work i would simply stay at home and take care of the garden or better still i'll go around the neighborhood asking people to help them do their chores or tutor their kids because i love working..smh...WE WORK FOR MONEY..PERIOD

Truckpusher: this was exactly your daft comment.."I believe house wifery is a gift for those who are not gifted mentally* if in your house one isn't mentally gifted and it's a gift then you've been on med...don't defend it you screwed up big time and should apologize to housewives []bsome of them are first class products that wants a life free from the daily struggle especially if the man is a financial wizard and he makes it rain, what else do you want?[/b]

Truckpusher: She goofed big time!!!