₦airaland Forum

joymary7: as for me, i stay at home but i go to school and i am a fashion designer working from d comfort of my house while im able to clean d house and take care of my baby....
So wat am i called A full time housewife or a half time house wife.

You are not an housewife. You are a work-at-home mom.

Truckpusher: this was exactly your daft comment.."I believe house wifery is a gift for those who are not gifted mentally* if in your house one isn't mentally gifted and it's a gift then you've been on med...don't defend it you screwed up big time and should apologize to housewives some of them are first class products that wants a life free from the daily struggle especially if the man is a financial wizard and he makes it rain, what else do you want?

Abeg, I no fit shout! I have explained myself and if you don't understand, all well and good. Each man to his own. I will say it again: I did not say all housewifes are not gifted mentally

coogar: please explain to us what a gift is.....
you said housewives are not mentally-gifted which means they are not up there mentally - i.e. they are dullards! why are you tryin to choke on what you said abi someone else posted for you?

I am not choking on my words.. I said 'I think housewifery is a gift for people who are not mentally gifted'
1. I didnot say all housewives are not mentally gifted and vice versa
2. A person who is not mentally gifted is NOT a dullard; he/she might be an average student.
3. A woman who is not gifted in housewifery can still be a housewife though she might not be as efficient as a woman with the gift.

I don't know why some posters are taking this the wrong way. Can we all be geniuses? Can we all be good in home keeping? Can we all be excellent cooks? Can we all excel in everything?

fellis: Well, if she has a husband who is not a lazy bum, then he would assist her instead of leaving all the work for her.

You don't know it's a taboo for a husband to do house work?

naijababe: You are struggling to comprehend your own posts .



That's what you wrote earlier o

Did you note the word gift? Do you know what gift means?

Truckpusher: but it was very easy for you to generalize that being a housewife was a gift solely for ladies that aren't mentally gifted?...maybe i need some education unless you're a being a hipppp...hippppp *stuttering* somebody already shouting hurray...pocrite

Do you know what a gift is?

Truckpusher: but it was very easy for you to generalize that being a housewife was a gift solely for ladies that aren't mentally gifted?

Did you read my post? I said I think it's a gift and NOT all housewives are not mentally gifted. Do you know what a gift is? Some people are excellent in Mathematics and can't grasp Government. Some people are talented in singing but can't dance to save their lives. They may learn dancing but they wouldn't be as good as those who have the gift. 'Abinibi is different from ability'... Nice

coogar: there are plenty of learned housewives who would break every compound in you into electrons with their knowledge but decided the best way they can raise their kids is to stayathome! how can you even say something so outlandish that stayathome mums are not mentally-gifted? so everyone who works are geniuses? even when the jobs are menial? na wa for your reasoning!

Did I say all stay at home moms are not mentally gifted? Did I equally say all working moms are mentally gifted? Infact, Some working mothers should stay at home b'cos they might do better in that area.

Truckpusher: If you really think that being a house wife is a gift for those who aren't mentally gifted? little wonder folks like you end up raising kids that becomes a menace to the society that roams abt in all social gathering from the age of 14 or 16 where they are easily influenced negatively because there was a vacuum in their lives that needed to be filled.

You don't know me so don't generalize please! Read my response to Coogar.

coogar: it's better to miss their dads than miss both parents. both parents cannot stay at home and if one must work, then it makes more sense that the mother stay at home. if you are bring feminism into this ish then steer clear and don't derail the topic!

And who told you it is better to miss the dad?

coogar: fücking hell - that's a very daft comment to make!

Mr. Know all, It's not daft! Everybody can't do well in school else everyone would be first! Take it or leave it. We all have different gifts. Some people feel fulfilled been housewives; some are very frustrated.

Metallurgist: Being a housewife is not bein lazy and that does not mean she dont work as i hav seen a lot a self employ house wifes, bein a working wife has a finacial benefit to the family but also it comes with working hazards, most generally gender and sexual assault on ur wife, if ur family had children they will miss their moda, their upbringing is left to the tv or house maid

So it's ok for the kids to miss their Father and not their mother?

Daresh: Let me start my disagreeing totally with you. Being a housewife is 1000 times more difficult than working. I know cos I've done both. The housework does not end especially if you have no help. From cooking to cleaning to changing diapers to feeding to bathing, It just doesnt end. For me working is a big relief. I can drop them in school and be free. My house is a mess but who cares? I'm making money and since money rules its fine.

I don't know how some women cope with been an housewife. I was at home while I job hunted and believe me, I felt my life was wasting away. I would wake up, cook, clean ... to the next day without achieving anything. No impact in my world, no problem to solve etc. I believe house wifery is a gift for those who are not gifted mentally. We can't all be good in everything.

coogar: who doesn't know ben carson? if anything, you are shooting yourself in the foot by throwing a rule to the exception and ignoring the fact that ben carson was a complete dullard throughout his elementary school. he was picked on and bullied by his mates everyday and the only reason this happened was because his mum was rarely at home to nurture him well. if this is the type of upbringing you have in store for your son, please get the IUD string! i can send ben carson's autobiography(Gifted Hands) to you if you want to learn more about him!



actually, when it comes to raising the kids - it should not be about quantity vs quality but quantity plus quality. the workaholic parents started using the quality time rubbish to excuse their absence from home. if we both give the same quality time with our kids but i give more quantity than you do then i am surer to bond better with that kid than you would do yours - that's just logic!

So he picked up cos his mother stopped working abi? Do the kids of housewives always fare better than working mothers in their studies? Coogar, each man to his own. I know that God did not create me just to be someone's mother; I have a destiny ot fulfil and I sure will. I don't just want to be called Iya Doctor, Iya lawyer; I want my mother to be called same too.

naijababe: There are a thousand Ian Brady(s) for every Ben Carson. Using outliers distorts this discussion

As some posters pointed out, the quantity of time doesn't matter, the quality does. I am not saying all kids in such shoes would be Ben Carsons; but how a kid turns out is decided by many factors.

coogar: we are talking about parents here - mother and father.
who is more likely to be given a longer leave - which is longer? paternity leave or maternity leave? the woman gets to stay at home more - of course, when the fathers come back from work 2-4 hrs bonding with the kids is necessary. who the heck is ben carson and is ben carson's mum a nigerian housewife?

Read on him. So you think 2 - 4hrs is ok for bonding with the dad but the mother needs forever to bond. A man is the head of the family yet the mother is the one that trains the kids. Talk of responsibility without authority.

Billyonaire: Taking care of kids should not be an excuse for lazy women who want to be housewives. Fathers can spend time too with kids.

Don't you know it's a taboo?

coogar: then those women should not have children. they would be deluded to believe they can dedicate 100% to fulfil and dedicate 100% child care at the same time. if the career is more important, those women should get effective contraception and forget about having kids....it's so simple!



in the early stages, the woman spends more time with infants than the husband unless you know a breast-feeding husbands!



is my accusation misplaced? sisikill did not even deny it!



i have found more than 300 articles on this ish but they are too geeky for you to understand. the amount of time both parents spend on their kids is even more than the 6 hrs/day i mentioned in their infantry. i am collating the ammo to silence you!



her qualifications and her wealth of experience are priceless than the wet behind ears vibrant people you're referring to! age is overrated!

For the job scenario, I 100% sure you are not referring to a Nigerian setting. So a man can have kids and still concentrate 100% on his career? Is a taboo for a man to take care of his kids once in a while? A working man/woman is entitled to on month's leave and others. Can't they rotate the care? I'm sure Ben Carson's mother didn't spend quality time as she worked 3 jobs trying to make ends meet.

coogar: an education on females is not wasted - once the kids are all fully in school, she can enter the labour market again!! where did i say a woman should dedicate the rest of her life to children when the kids are out of the house by the time they are 16/17. even if she had her last child at 33, is a 50-yr old woman too old to work or she would be nurturing the space left by the kids whilst they are in their respective universities? you have a way of making your own argument, don't you?



they shouldn't entertain the thoughts of having kids if they are bent on staying in old ikoyi, go to dubai every summer and if they intend to send those kids through expensive private schools all the way to yale/havard/MIT. it's sad but true - only millionaires can afford such luxuries. however, if having kids is imperative, then they should cut their cloth according to their cloth. put them in schools with less quality, ignore abu dhabi summer trips and settle for obudu ranch and put them in okuamagbo memorial secondary school instead of corona.



exaggeration of the highest order......
one person must do the work to bring in the bacon(husband) and the other(the wife) must tidy up things in the home front. it's called partnership and its a temporary measure till the kids become adults. parents who spend quality time with their kids are surer to raise good kids than the ones who spend less quality time with theirs. that's logical enough!!!

In a country
where young vibrant people are trekking the streets daily, a fifty year old woman wxpects to get a job?

@Parents: Is it parents or mothers?

jidegirl12: Don't be ridiculous sis( which kind ewa agoin?)... Monè makes the world go round ... I am not interested going in circles with cooger

... so he's willing to drop his whole nine yards for his family's upkeep including cream ? Baba agbalagba cooger... I duff my weave o!

I spend over 100 grand for tuition so I should put everything on omo olomo cos I want to spend quality time with my kids? What's wrong with prioritizing my parenting skills? We both chose the lifestyle so we have to make it work TOGETHER

Don't say that! you have forgotten the woman got pregnant herself so the sole responsibility for training the child is on the mother. Tomorrow when people say a mother sacrifices more, they start complaining.

coogar: yes - no wonder the society has degenerated to what it is because of selfish parents. they abandon kids in the hands of relatives who take turns to abuse those kids in ways we cannot mention here whilst husband/wife are busy showing their payslips to everyone that they are soon-to-be bill gates! i cannot believe i am arguing with supposed mothers who should understand the importance of proper childcare!



of course - one of the parents must put in quality shifts to ensure the proper upbringing as opposed to the working couples who would rather spend 25 mins with their kids till the kids choose their own parents from the streets. there's no difference between kids whose parents are rarely home and kids whose parents are both in prison/dead!



the money paris hilton inherited from her grandparents has given her the celebrity status from birth - what has she gotta do with our debate? in case you have lost sight of the ball - the topic says nigerian housewives!



you are deviating - the humble beginnings of alan sugar/obama is equivalent to the top 5% of the rich people in nigeria. i am sure they were not as poor as spending $2 per day, were they?

Is taking care of the kids the sole responsibility of the mother?

[quote author=BABE!]Abi? The case of a woman lurking around the neighborhood with wrapper tied around her chest, eating everything in sight and gossiping with her crew while her unkempt child is in the house crying for hours with mucus dripping from his nostrils, is not valid in this argument.

We are taking about a housewife that knows her main job; to take care of her kids!![/quote]And when the kids go to school, what does she do?

damiso: Sorry everyone i just had to add the Kate Middleton bit. >: .

Cos there is 'work' and there is career.

Some women have the desire to make history in their world. We have women like Deborah in the Bible, Marie Curie, Flourence Nightingtale and so many others who touched their world.

coogar: there's nothing wrong being a full housewife....
someone must take care of the kids - i wouldn't object if my spouse wants to be a stay-at-home mum. it would be for our collective benefit as long as my income can take the burden. i have more respect for a woman who is a good mother, a woman who makes her kids her priority over a selfish working woman!

You seem not to undersatand that some women work not b'cos she needs the money but b'cos she has a dream that she wants to fulfill.

Do a rededication ceremony where you re - affirm your love, faithfulness and commitment

and...MEAN IT

Happy Vals day...

SELFWORTH: It doesn't matter how submissive, you need a man to reciprocate with love and respect.

A one sided relationship is not sustainable in the long term.

A relationship is two ways. Read your bible very well.

God bless you!

[quote author=H$LBroker]very true but have seen situation where by a man will call is wife and narrate all the encounter of the past and the present of the day and she will still be grumbling

well all i will say in summary sum up to understanding, respect for one another and love.[/quote]Now, you can advise me on marriage and I might listen.

[quote author=H$LBroker]you are correct but you can't expect a man that come back home and the wife snub him for lateness and didn't give him food without finding out the reason for his lateness after making him comfortable to get love from this man that has already been stressed outside because of family.[/quote]So a man's love is conditional? Why can't a woman's submission be conditional since a man is the head of his home and dictates the rhythm of how things should be?

[quote author=H$LBroker]Now let me educate you base on 11years experience, a submissive woman can win back the man that is about to get lost, even the bible said so, that is why i love muslim women they act like sarah, wife of abraham, i'm not talking about career women oo because majority of them don't want to hear the word submission, any home you find submissive woman the home is always peaceful and progressing and love will be abundant in that home but any home you find a sturborn woman that is dragging the headship of that home with the man there always problem that we lead to dirvoce[/quote]That it works for you doesn't mean it is right or wrong. The Biblical concept of submission differs from the Islamic concept. The same submissive Sarah had the guts to tell her hubby to send Haggai and Ishamel away. Submission has nothing to do with education or career. God commanded a man to love his wife first. It takes two for a marriage to work. However, Each man to his own.

victorian: @ Shinatu, For the records I didn't marry the Muslim guy. ... It's the traditional marriage , I did with my Christian husband

And yeah it's working for me... Hectic and interesting.. no doubt. .. And av accepted this phase of life as a compulsory and necessary stage of life.. Av waited long for this phase..

I have nothing against submission vic...

victorian: Submission means obeying my husband, especially when he is right.. And if he is wrong, I will tell him calmly, the reason why he should see to my own reason and idea.. Thank God, am with a man who listens ...Am not ready to compete with him, neither am ready to show I over Sabi or quote law.. If he wants certain things to be done , at a certain times, I will try as much as possible to make it happen, especially as I am my own boss at work. And if he wants egusi soup instead of oha, I will prepare it, instead of preparing something else for him , giving excuse that u know , the weather is cold, lets take pepper soup and yam instead.. At least that few examples I can say for nw. Also, his clothes are always washed and ironed, except his suits, which he takes to the dry cleaner.... Household work is done by me... And am not complaining.. I see it, as a normal thing to do...and if he wants me to see his mother due to certain issues, I will see her pronto.. No delays or procastinations... That's me...

As far as it works for you.

[quote author=H$LBroker]women should learn to be submissive[/quote]Really? and men should learn to love!