₦airaland Forum

ifihearam: Let me very clear here: there is no such thing like true undiluted love without kids....
When a man and woman that claims to be madly in love finally gives birth,my dear the man and woman transfers 80% of the love they have foe each to their child/children as the case may be.
In a nutshell the primary aim of marriage is for children becos if a sitation presents itself God forbids between making a choice over ur child between father and mother,u will be shocked that everyone would prefer the child.. So u see.

I completely disagree. Children are the third eason for marriage. People who transfer love never loved each other anyways

Genius100: This is a terrible advice. I can bet that the poster is simply not apologising sincerely. When a woman apologises sincerely, hugs her man and perhaps give him one playful yabbis or two, most men will stop quarelling. The poster is probably not apologising and thinking she can just act as if nothing happened. That can never solve the problem.

A real genius indeed!

fellis: When Nigerian men want to use the Bible to define leadership they will not quote the verses you mentioned. They will talk about how Sarah called Abraham her Lord and how 'Lord' in that verse means semi-god

The same Abraham that slept with his maid because the wife asked him to and sent the resulting child wawy with the mother at his wife's insistence. If Sarah called him Lord, He calle dher his queen.

tbaba1234: Do you prefer 'former christian'?

there is nothing like a former christian either. Anyone who leaves the christian faith is called a backslidder.

tplacid: First of all I want to say I love you all for Allah's sake even though I have never met anyone of you before. The prophet said 'A believer is a mirror to another believer' the fact that we
are sharing our salat experiences just gives me joy that there is hope for this Ummah.

However, I realised that being a Muslim is the most difficult decision I have made in life, since reverting to Islam my conscience has been on auto pilot to the deen. When I first reverted it was always very difficult for me to even pray but then I would listen to sermons, read random verses from the Qur'an but then I stumbled upon this verse in Al Mumin(The believers) saying the believers are those that guide their salat(prayers), after I read that verse my salat has been on time and done the best possible manner as prescribed by our beloved prophet(SAW)

To all non muslims reading through this thread looking for answers just take your time, have an open mind. If you move one step close the one true God he would move 10 steps to you, yes he loves you that much. This is coming from an ex christian.

To my muslim folks trying to pray five times daily take it easy on yourself, it's easier than you think, the first thing you need is intention then read the Qur'an as often as you can, maybe one verse a day or a whole surah a day. Subconcsiosly you will begin to purify your heart, your soul will start to re unite will Allah you will start getting drawn to him in a way that will surprise you. At that point salat will be as easy as breathing, am talking from my personal experience here.

Islam is way of life, it's the journey of a lifetime. All you just need to do is have the intention to make that journey, once you do your path will be shown to you.

"This day I have perfected your Religion for you, completed my favour upon you and I have chosen for you Islam as your Religion"

Salam

There is nothing like ex - christian my dear.

uplawal: Honesty this is not showing showing off,i don't like people who miss salat for any reason,and i hate anyone telling me they will change to be praying cos they don't at all,yet they don't,just making mouth,i can even avoid the person as long as he or she continues until she changes,there is this hatred that feels me particularly those that disbelievers that says they will change but never,they think they deceive Allah,but they deceives themselves really,and my uttermost hatred goes towards christians that ridicule Islam.

My baby is fine Alhamdullilahi,Sukran.

Hatred for a person is wrong. you hate the sin and love the sinner. It's the love you have for the sinner that will propel that person to change. The person doesn't care about your hatred. As for hating christians that ridicule Islam, It's not YOUR job to fight for Islam/Allah. At best, pray for them to understand. AT worst, Ignore them. Hatred utimately leads to murder and terrorism.

hafsatbaby: @Op Which kind of silly question is this

I am not a muslim but I know this is not a silly question. If you do like it, exit this thread and view another. Thanks

sexywifey:

God bless you sir!!!!!!!!!! Its reassuring to know that there are men that still think like you in this generation.

You can imagine how traumatised I was to read from our "men" who wish to assert their rights as men without putting their money where their mouths are...

I contribute significantly to our finances in my home (and in fact, take up some major projects myself) and it is all voluntary. My husband respects that and will never force me to contribute if I dont want to... thats a real man, who understands his responsibility as the provider for the home.

@poster, dude, please read your Bible. You will understand that it is your duty to fund your home 100% (failure to do so makes you worse than an slowpoke). Your wife may contribute if she wants to, but it is not mandatory for her to! What is 70:30 sef? Is that how you share her own house chores in that manner? Abeg, grow some muscles and provide for your family irrespective of whether your wife ontributes to it or not.

I hope you all won't complain if teh husband decides not to help his wife with domestic chores... afterall, she is a 'woman' and it's her duty!

ROCKSTAND1: My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried. Women are just wonderful creatures, if you had your way you would open a thread on why men don't get pregnant and bear children abi?

I decree all men held bound, unwillingly, by their wives in any ungodly and oppressive way via any form of cheap blackmail or deceit be released right now IJN!

A man is the head of his home! Did you read in John where Jesus Christ said He didn't come to be serve but to serve others and give his life as a ransom? Did you read where He washed the feet of His disciples? where He cooked fish for His disciples? Yet men are told to be head of their wives AS JESUS is the head of the church. Have you read 1 cor 13: 1 - 8 to see the characteristics of love? Did you read where Abraham with about 316 servants served his visitors? Did you read where Jesus said that in the Kingdom of God, Leaders serve? I will not dispute that a man is the head of his home but I will dispiute that 99% of Nigerian men don't know what it means to be the head of their homes.

chiover: go and read acct of jacobs and solomon then u come bak and tell me the numb of wives they had then

I am sure because David killed Uriah, It's ok to kill your lover's husband. You will just read their story without learning from it.

IncomeTutor: That wicked woman will know no peace
in her life until she gets to hell except
she genuinely repents.

Unfortunately, such person will NEVER repent
until her death.

Why wouldn't she know peace? It's the man who indirectly killed his children that won't know peace!

lat4real: Abegi leave the story that touch, are you trying to say it's only men that do cheating? instead of you to condemn the dastardly act... anyway i wont be surprised if you are a woman.

Which act is the poster you quoted to condemn? Did the said blessing jump out of her house and strangle strangers? why don't we cure the illness and not the symptons?

@OP: You are probably marriage now BUT have you ever considered why muslim men are allowed to marry 'christian' women but their women never never marry christian men!

RealBitch: . Dont be such a fanatic!! If the young lady can handle the extreme nature of muslims,then why not¿ Some christians are even worse than extremist muslims. Hypocrites

Do you know what fanatic means? The poster told the OP what is in the Bible and you are calling him a fanatic!

slimyem: They don't look anywhere near 14 or 11...
They look much older!!

It's a common thing. There are a lot of people who look older than their ages and there are a lot of people who look younger than their ages.

chiover: I am 100% surE that the lord will never ask me to do such thing. Man is polygamous in nature so I have every right to straff if I so desire. Pls don't get it twisted

I understand u might want to be witty sometimes but mind what u say. God never made man polygamous else he would have created 1 adam with numerous eves. U are free to sleep with anyone you like and God is free to punish you so either way you look at it, there is freedom of expression

mecussey: Dont beg a woman

what kind of men do we have these days?

seedord247: Boook of seedord chapter 8 vs 9.

Never in your life begg your woman.. The more you begged your woman the more she feels that she has control over you. Womem need a strong man, not just physicaly strong, emotional, spiritually and kolomental strong. Even thou she caught u cheatin on her, always proove her wrong that its not what she thinks.

90% of men who abuse women mentally, physically, emotionally still ended up being love by the same women they abuse.

@bolded: really?
@red: they are not mentally ok

blink182: You had better start being the man and even get annoyed before she does. If she is angry because you pinged a female then you should be more angry at her picking offence over something that little. You had better change now before you get married and start having children who think their dad is a wimp and see their mother as the male figure and the one to run to for anything.

And is this how to be a man?

cap28: this trash does not belong on a nigerian forum because majority of nigerian men do not think like that, some of the posts being put up on NL have absolutely no bearing on nigerian society because the nigerian value system and culture is totally different from waht applies in the west, therefore to post these type of posts in my view is a complete and utter waste of time.

Why don't you calm down and go through the points? No 1 is universal. I have seen ugly guys call a girl ugly. Most men want a slim and trendy woman. Guys also have a sense of entitlement. Most of these points cut across all societies but the way they are manifested may be different.

kitty kat: Can't u see his username? Blabber15, what do u expect from a blabber?

LOL!

dshiznitplata: I'm a proud product of Ijanikin and I dint pick up any of aforementioned vices... I know a lot of peeps who were "bad boys" den and dey are 1 of d finest people walking on this planet in dere respective fields... So don't go generalising... Na dat kain tin dey vex person.... If u like carry ur broda to toronto... if pikin 1 spoil e go spoil... U no need anoda person to teach am...

up IJ!

ItsModella: So Federal Schools are really rugged. My cousin went to FGC Ijanikin, it was there he lost his two front teeth cos some senior pushed him and he fell face first on the concrete ground..like wtf? His parents refused to learn from that experience and sent his younger ones to FGC Okigwe. God knows if that happens to my child, all hell would break loose.

lol @ FGC ijanikin with al d stress n all that, I love that school! @OP: what works for child A might not work for B! A day student in my set didn't come to school for a semester, she was always leaving home to visit her man friend. If a child is day, won"t d parents go to work? Won't d child mix with boarders? Won't d child mix in d neighborhood, in church? Training a child is more complex than boarding

blabber15: That girl needs to stop watching Nollywood movies. I'm sure that's where this risky idea came from.

It's not compulsory to post

Congrats to Seun! this shows that if only we can be patient enough, we can get to the greatest heights. Rome was not built in a day. I'm sure seun might not have imagined Nairaland would grow this way. All the best.

JallowBah: Google is your friend.

There is different kind of christians, and different kinds of muslims. Again, google is your friend.

There is only one type of christian dear. I don't need to google what i can confirm in my Bible.

JallowBah: Damn, there is a lot of prejudice on muslim people in here..

First; The Quran acknowledge Jesus as a prophet. So the people saying "THE MAN MUST KNOW ABOUT JESUS!!!"...he probably already does.

2: A muslim man can marry more than one woman IF, and only IF, he is able to take care of them equally, and the kids it will lead to.

3: A christian can also marry more than one, and many do.

4: Marriage is about compromise, trust and respect.



I could not have said it better.
The hardest thing for us ( he is a muslim, I am agnostic, brought up liberal-christian ) has been the outsiders trying to influence us.
Stranges, family and friends. It takes much work to keep their prejudice on it all outside, and focus on OUR life and happiness, and how WE can make it better, and enjoy OURSELF.
This is OUR marriage, it does not concern anyone else, as long as it is good for US.

Just remember that you will have to teach your kids about both religions. You will be responsible for the christian part, he will e responsible for the muslim part.
You have to decide on how to do with name-givings for the kids.
Christian school, muslim school, public school...
Sunday school, arabic school.
Pig-meat?
Etc, etc.

You will probably have some more obsticles on the way than others, it depends on how you both are as a person, and HOW religious you both are.

There is no prejudice against muslims. If you are a genuine christian, you will know there is no half christian half muslim. And a christian can't marry more than one wife! Dust your Bible and read it again.

murtalaa: my only reservation for marrying a christian girl is that i detest leftovers. Despite abhorrence of premarital sex in the bible, christian of nowardays have made premarital sex a pastime..So no christian girl for me...only a god fearing, untapped muslim girl.

and muslim girls don't have premartial sex?

chaircover: I am referencing this thread too, because if I understand right, we are saying that in some instances that it is ok for a man to beat a woman with koboko! and if a man is pushed to the wall by whoever, man or woman, its OK to use his fists.

Thank God we are all different and our anger thresholds are different. So someone with a short fuse can kobokolise his wife because she used foul language (haba shebi abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal and so on) and one can swap one for the other naw!

I am surprised at debrief and I am "singularing" her out because she has been through violence and has worn the t-shirt and I would have expected that she will be the first person to be against any form of violence & to suggest other ways to deal with altercations but it is those of us who have never received a slap from anyone before who are horrified at the level of violence that this family have shown.

. . . . And for the record No one has said what the woman did was right and yes she needed to be punished . . . but beaten to stupor & bleeding Is that the only way that she could have been reprimanded? what a family of thugs!

Madam CC, from what I understand, Debrief doesn't support the man beating his wife; she is saying we should not pity the elder sister because she's a woman. A woman is not different from a man should not be given preferencial treatment. The man should not have beaten the elder sister because violence is wrong and not because she is a woman. We should not fashion different rules for the genders else we will never truly achieve the equality we are fighting for. A woman should be held accountable for her actions and words.

chaircover: I am referencing this thread too, because if I understand right, we are saying that in some instances that it is ok for a man to beat a woman with koboko! and if a man is pushed to the wall by whoever, man or woman, its OK to use his fists.

Thank God we are all different and our anger thresholds are different. So someone with a short fuse can kobokolise his wife because she used foul language (haba shebi abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal and so on) and one can swap one for the other naw!

I am surprised at debrief and I am "singularing" her out because she has been through violence and has worn the t-shirt and I would have expected that she will be the first person to be against any form of violence & to suggest other ways to deal with altercations but it is those of us who have never received a slap from anyone before who are horrified at the level of violence that this family have shown.

. . . . And for the record No one has said what the woman did was right and yes she needed to be punished . . . but beaten to stupor & bleeding Is that the only way that she could have been reprimanded? what a family of thugs!

Madam CC, from what I understand, Debrief doesn't support the man beating his wife; she is saying we should not pity the elder sister because she's a woman. A woman is not different from a man should not be given preferencial treatment. The man should not have beaten the elder sister because violence is wrong and not because she is a woman. We should not fashion different rules for the genders else we will never truly achieve the equality we are fighting for. A woman should be held accountable for her actions and words.

[quote author=queen_labisi] The is crap, men are just too lazy as far as I'm concerned nd we are breeding infidels dis days, dey are not ready to work or help in the house, its the woman that is superwoman/robot that should work herself to death, provide financially nd still face the duty of the house, the kids,etc.. abeg u men should get real, its sheer wickedness leaving your woman to do all d chores except sh's an housewife which is rare dis day...[/quote]I honestly don't understand how a man claims to love his wife and see her multitasking. he should not even wait for her to ask before he assists her