₦airaland Forum

ochukoccna: How do you respect a lady dressed in the attire of a harlo-t?
Won't you move near her&call her a ho?
Wish her newly engaged husband to be the best as he lives with the consequences of his choice

You must a very 'bush' person! Na Tiwa's 'beautiful' gown you call the attire of an harlo-t? I don't undersytand what runs through a girl's mind when she dresses indecently. I see some people's mini skirts/skin tight jeggings/transparent and transculent blouses and i'm like 'what was she thinking?' Imagine, the sacred boobs the poor man should touch and enjoy in the sanctuary of their private bedroom is what has become public view. Some men with the 'gift' of imagination would even imagine how bros dey cup and suck the boobs. Which kind of stage name is savage self?

Amalaaba: Young woman, don't give in! You are perfectly right. The way she is dressed is bad, at any place, point and time. Asa never dress this indecently and her music is respected everywhere.

Women who dress that way, are only disgracing womanhood! Any woman who feels she must go naked or half naked is suffering from inferiority complex.

I'm not giving in. I no fit craze so tey I wear that kin gown. Like I say, everyman (woman) to his own.

kandiikane: *Yawns*
Live your life joor! Wetin? If she wants to walk around half unclad what exactly is your business there? You can always stop your child from watching her on t.v, if you like. To your first post, so all those women across Africa who go to occasions with clothes around their waist and bre.ast hanging out are irresponsible?

P.s. I don't think anyone wants to see Asa's breast popping out.

My dear, I'm living my life to the fullest. If she decides to wear pant,make she carry go. As to half naked african women, have you ever heard of motive? Have you asked yourself why they dress that way? Tiwa set out to seduce and that is wrong.

carmelion: ^^,@ Soyedele I understand what you mean but I must tell,most women (including me)would not want to wait that long.We re all scared of the unknown,too many uncertainties around us.

Please,pardon me,but I would like to know what you mean by,You don't need a job before you get married?

Just like I guessed,you don't feel comfortable with younger dates,but I can assure you ,that is one of the quickest ways to bypass this whole issues of

"my girlfriend of 4 yrs left me for a richer guy,girls are too materialistic"

"My family doesn't want me to marry my fiancee cos she is 30+,help".

I want to tell you that some of these ladies have to force themselves to love those guys they end up getting married to,just to evade pressure.

Forget (some of)those wedding pictures you see,its all for the cameras dear.if only you can see their mind.They wish it was their longtime boyfriends ,but they can't help it.

Luckily they will start loving their husbands after marriage,I mean they have no choice I just hope you uunderstand,and save yourself the stress.

Dear, I appreciate what you are doing on this thread. However, i just want to point out some things:

1. the lady has a choice to marry who she wants to. Must the wedding be big? Must they live at Lekki? Must they have a ride? Some Churches make a provision of office wedding for poor couples. Just the pastors, parents and couple. Some very rich people started very poorly.

2. Love NEVER comes after marriage expect the grace of God: most women accept their fate and live in sorrow. One can't love two people at a time. Love can'y also be switched on and off. If she marries the 'ready' man and tomorrow he loses his job and doesn't quickly get another, what happens? I would say she never loved the boyfriend in the firdt place. I have a couple that had barely nothing when they married. Four yeras later, their story is amazing.

cap28: the erosion of our african cultural values, decency and modesty continues at break neck speed. Soon the average nigerian woman will be openly bragging about the number of men she has slept with just like her counterparts in europe and america.

They are tryign to catch up with the men.

cap28: the erosion of our african cultural values, decency and modesty continues at break neck speed. Soon the average nigerian woman will be openly bragging about the number of men she has slept with just like her counterparts in europe and america.

They are tryign to catch up with the men.

Explaindoe: I don't know why some people are so frustrated on this topic, is a matter of what makes the couple to be in peace

Lol!

brilapluz: wen u made ur first comment on dis topic,i was one of dose who commended u and believed ur husband is so blessd 2 have a virtueous lady as u..but now am obviously confused by ur latest comments..u have made ur point 4rm ur first comment..stick 2 it!
and dere is no point quotin any comment dat runs contrary 2 urs cos as u earlier stated,its all about choice and wat works 4 one family may not work 4 anoda family..

And what point did you think I made? This is a learning forum and believe it or not, a lot of people learn daily from here positively or negatively. Yes, my husband to be is blessed and I am blessed too. It was revelated in My Spirit one evening that the love of a husband/ lover makes the woman to blossom and the womna turns and take care of the man so he blossoms too. Please don't be confused by my posts. I am stil sticking to my first post. I would apprepriate if a man says he can't help his wife because he doesn't want to and not because 'he is the head of his family'. I dislike when people misquote the Bible to their selfish purposes. Thanks for your concern.

Originalsly: ..."And for me that is how I want it"

she is not entitled to want something because she's the wife?

Shollypopz: It's obvious I can't change your mind but really ma'am that dress is not bad @ all for her body type, not at all I can bet you most girls on NL, have a dress or a top shaped like that in the boobz area. Besides, it looks nicer in the night time than in the day time. It's totally decent for the occasion, time of the day, and body type.

Ok o!

Chinwem: Jennifer Aniston- baby face
Janet Jackson looked real good back then
Usher- we love you! Hurry up and collabo with Psquare o

Genie kind of has Janet's smile in that pix

Shollypopz: Yes, the dress look nice. If they have a size A, B or C cup boobz, they are free to wear that dress. There's nothing skanky about that dress. Besides, she's on stage. She can claim it's a costume

So now it's a costume? Don't forget the dress looks 'decent' because she's on stage or in Tv. I'm sure your opinion would change when you see her live! The Tv has a way of glamourizing things that are ugly. When you see people smoking or drinking on Tv, it looks good but we know better.

Dagods: @Busolayemi; dat was 2 harsh on d ibo's ok.if God gave u a gud home, den tankGod & keep ur home.if u av isues wif smone plz be unto dat person,not insulting da ibo guyz ok. i Wonder wat a maried woman is doing here alwayz, by dere fruit we know dem.

Are you implying a woman can't visit Nairaland because she's married?

Shollypopz: There is nothing wrong with what she's wearing missy!! She pulled it off well and she remained classy while doing it.

She has small boobz, it doesn't look obscene like if a fat person does the same thing. There is no show of n1pples, so why the hate?? That dress is hella pretty, btw

There is no hate brother! Would you honestly allow your sister/galfriend/wife wear this 'pretty' dress with you to an occasion? Let's tell each other the truth. She might NOT read my post, but history has it recorded that on 9th of Feb by 12:20am, I spoke against Tiwa's 'pretty' gown.

I hope the hubby would teach her that a person uses fashion to complement him/her self and not expose one's flaws. She should quit anything mini and go for maxi and trousers.

I don't seem to understand; was the free show of boobs supposed to help her performance? Were the audience paying for the boob show or talent show? I advocate that women should be free to do whatever they want to BUT that freedom comes with the responsibility of knowing what is proper and not. Afterall, Asa sells her talent without the free body show.

Akusinachi: [color=#000099][/color]Am naturally a caring type of guy dat enjoys assisting ma chick in doing some chores like cooking & chatting wit her in d kitchen,washing cloths 2geda, going 2 d market wit her etc.& i enjoys it alot,jst 4 d fun of it & above all 4 luv sake. Bt wia i dare neva tolerate is wen u start taking it 4 granted as if its my obligation. Doing ma duties as d man of d house is wot i dare neva fail 2 do. "Jst new here"

Can you please explain by what you mean taking your doing chores for granted. Thanks and welcome.

ocelot2006: No she doesn't. She works though, but all the financial responsibilities fall on me, cos that's my job to provide. But even if she did contribute, it still won't change the fact that house chores (or whatever was said on Oprah or any other feminine shows/articles) are not part of my responsibility.

As far as it works for your home, it's good. Read my post on the Typical Nigerian Man on the previous page of this thread. I'm sure you will learn one or two things. All the best.

ocelot2006: No Missy, I didn't. It's a man's choice to decide if he wants to help his wife out or not with house chores. The same goes for me and my home were I run a benevolent dictatorship (or absolutely monarchy to put it mildly) were I, as the head of the home, call the shots, not my wife. House chores are NOT my responsibility, and will never be, and my wife knows that quite well. But I still help my wife out once in a while because I CHOOSE to.

so Mr. Benevolent Dictator, does your wife contribute in the home financially? if yes, is it willingly or do you have a sharing ratio?

Boss13: We hear you typical Nigerian woman.

Meaning?

The Lady in the middle chose the best pose. Is the magazine a pornographic one?

dayokanu: BUKATA

Bukata ke? I am a woman of Timber and Caliber!

JallowBah: Send an e-mail through nairaland, hon, no problem

ok, I will

JallowBah: That is a whole different topic If you wish to talk about that one, you can e-mail me.

I would really love to.

I think Beyonce Carter would have been more suited to her career. However, it's her choice. No one is yet to answer me on who a Feminist is

dayokanu: OP Nothing thats why its better women marry their fellow women

Dayokanu!

JallowBah: I don`t consider myself a christian, but you make very good points, bukatyne.

And why don't you consider yourself a Christian?

Truckpusher: smh....you have what I'll classify as a delusion of grandeur....peeps like you end up as a woman beater.

And how did you arrive at this conclusion?

JallowBah: You didn`t understand that one I was guessing what sleekman means with "feminism craze".

Edit: wrong nick. Lol.

Sorry JallowBah, I thought you were sleekman. When I realized, I was already typing my next post.

dick hardener: slow cognitive reasoning, two allies conflicting each other

Was this really called for?

I opened a thread on why the faith of some Nigerian christian men never have positive impact on their marriages and they are yet to say why. The problem with issues like this is that
A typical Nigerian man
1.Doesn't know what it means to love his wife. He equates giving her shelter and food to love. he is quick to say 'submit' but is not capable of showing his wife love. Now what is love? In 1st Corin 13: 1 - 13, Paul listed the characteristics of love. He made us realize that you can give or sacrifice without love. You can work miracles without love. you can heal the sick without love.
love is Patient, Kind, Polite, not boastful, not jealous, never keeps grudges, never rejoices in wrong, is happy when the truth wins, endures all things, never loses faith, never loses hope, never demands its own way and is not easily irritated.

2. Has a subconscious belief that his wife and women in general is inferior to him. If your friend asks him to help in chores, wouldn't you? They can't grasp the concept of their wives been equal with them because they translate it to her having the 'privilege' to boss them and be rude like they do. Most husbands deep in them know they can't accept the treatment they mete out to their wives and are always wary when they hear their wives are equal.

3. Do not believe in leadership by example: most men are quick to quote Eph 5:25 'A man is the head of his home as Christ is the head of His church'. Now, this is true but what does head mean? The source. Ideally, a man decides he wants to build a family and looks for a wife just how Christ looked for us (the church). however, they conveniently forget that Jesus said 'He did not come to be served BUT to serve ...'. They forget that Jesus they are to emulate bent down to wash the feet of his disciples, cooked for them, poured out his life in love as a sacrifice for sins He didn't commit. He intercedes for us and is always showing us His love and giving us chances to repent.

4. They believe the Fruit of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness, tolerance, self control, meekness, faith and hope) are for women only. How many men are really humble towards their wives? It's said Patience is a virtue but I'm sure the 'for women only' part was lost through the ages. They believe that submission makes their wives beneath them forgetting that it's a balance for the love they have for their wives. Jesus Christ their role model in headship was humble to the point of a shameful death yet they will not learn humility.

5. They believe it's a woman's job to build the home by enduring all the crap he gives: Afterall, a thousand and one woman is begging to be Mrs. X so if the current Mrs. X 'misbehaves', just kick her to the curb and pick wifey two. They don't realize that as the head, the success of their home lies solely in their hands. Does the proprietor of a school question the students or lecturers why the school coffers are empty? He holds the Principal accountable because he was made an overseer of the school. He will lazy around, He will do everything in his power to make the school succeed. TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED.

This lengthy post is not to condemn such men as portrayed above but show them where they are erring for them to improve. There is no perfect person; there is always room for improvement.

ocelot2006: As the head of the home, the man's responsibility is to provide for his family in every way, and protect them. His job does NOT include doing any kitchen chores or other house work. Forget what you watch on foreign movies. Sissy men don't exist in Africa (or at least they're in the minority).

But I don't see any reason why a loving husband shouldn't help out his wife sometimes. In my case, I try to help with the dishes or other chores when I notice that my wife's stressed out. Sometimes, all she asks for is just my company in the kitchen. I don't have to do anything, just sit and gist with my lovely wife while she preps a meal.

by your post, you just called yourself a sissy.

JallowBah: ...that women want men to help around the house. And that women wishes to work and make their own money as well.
Just guessing, though.

Ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in a man helping his wife around the house and a woman working to earn her own money?