₦airaland Forum

Interesting topic. Mine was being too emotional, a bit too clingy, and lacked a bit of confidence. I fell too quickly and was totally predictable. I have realised that in relationships, a woman cannot afford to make it too easy for the guy. He needs to work to get you, that attract many guys. They love the chase. In-confidence and low self esteem is also a huge turn off. I'm working on me.

I have a crush on this blonde guy at work. I don't know if the feeling is mutual though. We stare a lot at each other and he tries to flirt with me. He pokes me randomly on my hand. I really really like this guy, but I don't think we can work

I need a kind person to help me with so beautiful by timi dakolo, thanks a lot.

Owu gal:
to those men who say they go for the non- weave babes who are not high maintenance, you dey lie and are well deceived.

NOW, high maintenanace has levels.

there is the girl who likes her gap, old navy, express and forever 21.

theres the girl who loves her anne klein, juicy couture, and celebrity designer wear.

then theres the girl who loves her gucci , prada, valentino and versace.

it depends on whose pocket the bill is being footed.

most of the natural babes i see dont have boyfriends and they are into poetry and black is beautiful, black peoples rights activist activities.

most of the ladies in weave, with a love for sephora, mary kay (actually not mary kay),  Mac and sleek always have boyfriends.

so you guys are deceived. Who no like better thing.?

its like a woman saying she has a fondness for poor guys with bad breath. Shege, Kai, olorun ma jen kin gbo. naa lie.

Beauty is to men as money is to women.

no beauty no lambourghini

and fake hair and makeup is not a multi trillion dollar industry all over the world for nothing.

how many ladies do you know get married with their own real hair attached to their heads at the alter.

stop all this deception.

money is good

beauty is good

and you men borrow your friends cars

so why cant we women borrow( actually buy) a brazilian or indian womans hair

please lets all wake up.

if a weaved woman broke your heart, after she realized your jaguar wasnt yours, then your fault.

so high maintenance or not, there are plenty of guys out there who are horrible in character, they often have a GF to match

i actually want plastic surgery right now. beauty is good, no one sees another person and says WOW, LOOK AT THE VIRTUE ON HER/HIM. they see your face and clothes first.

but if you want to maintain the relationship i admit you need character and perhaps juju and  threat. but its all good. the world is as it is

@Owu gal, you went innnnnn! I like your comment. I have read some interesting replies on here. Thanks guys.

The only reason I decided to write this is because of blank stares I get at uni when I dress up. I don't know how to go out without dressing up (I have my limits tho). Unfortunately, most people tend to judge one from the outside thinking you are vain or plastic before getting to know who you truly are .

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Being a woman is hard work too [/color]

innit dear! I don't like my natural hair because it's thin even though its long. So, I'm kind of addicted to weave, especially the long ones. The longer it is, the better it is . All these things costs money

@Mrbrownjay I like your response. I don't necessarily buy designer stuff all the time, I go to bargain shops too but, I like quality stuff and I know it when I see it. I actually believe I have so much to offer character wise and all, but I wasn't sure if guys place some sort of stereotype on ladies with long weaves and their dress sense.Thanks for the responses.

Hi people, this post is just to have an idea of what men think about high maintenance girls. First of all, do you judge women by how expensive they look? I happen to fall into the category of ladies that like designer bags, brazillian weave etc and I spend quite a lot fixing myself. I pay for my own stuff and I am not a gold-digger. So to the guys here, would you still go after a woman knowing clearly she is high maintenance, or would you rather not consider a high maintenance chic at all.

PS; I know a few nairaland members to be quite insultive. Pls no insults. Thanks!

I must agree with 2buff. Whoever does the breaking up is less affected by it. This is very true. Someone also mentioned that the party that invests more,suffers more. This is very correct. As we all know that no break-up is ever amicable, someone WILL definately HURT. As for the theory about women, it is not exactly what it seems on the surface. I haven't quite recovered from my last relationship which ended close to 6-7 months ago. I try to be a very strong person on the outside but inside me is not the case. I cry myself to sleep occasionally, but in the morning I will have the biggest smile and act like everything is o.k. I cry not because I want him back, it is just the rejection that hurts. I am not in a hurry to move on, and I somehow enjoy crying because I feel better afterwards. Most women are strong enough to pretend, that doesn't mean we don't hurt. Just like I said earlier, the way the trauma will be handled is totally dependant on who left who.

no

It doesn't kill but you have to be strong to keep going. I have tried being strong, but the heartbreak plus some external factors has had me showing symptoms of depression. So now, I'm looking up and down for a therapist.

I have become stronger. No one can hurt me now because I have developed a thick skin. I spent a lot of time in pain that right now, trusting anyone is far from my mind. I can only trust me.

Dyt:
Yh
happens 2 me 2
i notice i get 2 boda em wit lotta calls n msgs
well my own way of showin a lil appreciation which may nt b cool wit em
i dont blame any1 4 anyth dat happens btw us tho
i blame myself
tried workin on dose flaws bt den dey remain my greatest weapon eva 2 know whom rili accepts n appreciates d me
i love me

applelady:

applelady link=topic=705806.msg8655752#msg8655752 date=1309881366:
same here,I cant seem to stop calling and sending sms and dat has alwayz being my undoing,they often complains dat I dont give much space,alwayz wantin 2 know if there someone else bt how will I know U truly luv me if U r hiding these things 4rm me. Sorry I cant help being me.

Aww, I guess it is a normal thing for everything sensible female because we possess that motherly instinct. Had a similar problem too. I think balance is the keyword here. It is good to call but don't overdo things. Make him miss you. That I have learnt.

[/quote][quote author=Flaix link=topic=707501.msg8662532#msg8662532 date=1309959550]Yeah trouble starts when both parties start getting too used to eachoda and boredom sets in. Finding ways to keep d fire burnin can't be overemphasised!

very well said! Almost 7 out of 10 relationships die as a result of boredom.

There's no need for all these noise, abeg! Anyone who is truly born again knows that once you do, Jesus becomes your life. Everything you do revolves around him. You have to respect people for what they believe in. If you can't stand the heat, then leave the kitchen!My advice is simple, find those you share the same mindset with to date.

davidylan:
Worst thing about being a woman - you're about as good as the last man to approach you.

that's not true

Like someone said relationships have no guarantee. All you need to do is enjoy the moment and just let things flow naturally. You can never be too sure about any guy unless he has placed a ring on your finger, so don't get too attached.

How can I forget how grateful I am to God for not having that thing between a man's legs #Nooffence. I really appreciate what he gave to me!

I love the attention. I actually enjoy it when a cute guy is trying to woo me . I love shoes, bags, clothes, and make-up. I love the fact that I can pull off various looks with my outfits and people would still comment. I like the feeling I get when I cook and clean. I look forward to being there for that special person with my love and care in the sound of my voice.

awwww I can relate. But, like someone said, life goes on. Being attractive is like beauty, very subjective. The good news is that irrespective, there is MORE than one person for everyone.

Nah, life is too short to be wasting precious time on people that don't want you. Once a relationship is over, pick up the pieces of your life and move on. Revenge is not worth it. You don't even need to do anything before they realise their short sightedness and loss. Time does that .

coogar:
don't be a tool. . . .read what i typed very well before yapping your mouth.

how is it faulty? read between the lines. . . . i did not say any chic that's attractive with a superb dress sense must be loose. . . . .but if you have any chic with that kind of lifestyle and if she ends up screwing like a dog. . . .no one would raise an eyebrow.

Since when does appearance have anything to do with personality?? Please do your research well. @OP, You need to go back and speak to God concerning this, Nairaland cannot help you.

BABE!:
^^ lol---- That was I asked if you were Nigerian--- My post had a lot of "Nigerian English" - you may not understand some parts.

Yh, of course it's not worth it. It's not their fault. Who in their right mind will want all their dreams driven down the drain? No One. That was why I said "a Hard D1ck is the most dangerous thing in this life."  If only they could help it.

But then again, that's why we have Jesus, Free of charge.  Discipline is not enough.  

Well said twinnie. The men of today need Jesus! Odikwa very serious for the situation as the things in between their legs never rests

claremont:

Cuddlemii link=topic=696847.msg8571386#msg8571386 date=1308774834:
As long as a man or woman can't live without the opposite sex then tempations and enuf falling would occur. When women stop dressing provocatively, then men won't fall out.

If men were born with no eyes or blind, they will still have their hands to locate good things. They are pros and can never run. If these men run, its you women who will mock them abeg let them fall jare afterall Abraham got a second wife too, even the holy book had chronic fall outs let alone this sinful world.

If only the devil didn't use women to tempt these men, they would still be enjoying their careers. Is it so hard for a lady to dress decently so men don't need to fall into temptation

I hate it when people decide to put the blame on a lady's outfit. Even though some people dress very extreme, but hey! we all have choices. A man chooses to sleep with a woman, he is not forced. One thing with men is that even if you are wearing a flowing gown once they like you, most of them will still want to sleep with you.

MRBrownJ:
open your mind sista, even handicapped/dwarf women get married so stop comparing yourself to uglier women and believe that beauty has anything to do with your unhappiness.
here is a clue, no sane person will honestly stay with a women with traits such as a NEGATIVITY/STOOPIDITY/DISHONESTY/UNTRUSTWORTHY/INSECURITY/CONCEDED/MEAN/INSANELY JEALOUS/ etc etc etc

you certainly need more than just beauty to be happy BUT, if you ask anyone to choose between a girl :
A) only beautiful on the outside
B) only beautiful on the inside
C) beautiful outside and inside.

then we definitely know what most would choose.

Thanks for your advice. It's duly noted

First of all, I used to be a good fan of MAC. Later, I lost interest as I got very unimpressive results with the studio fix powder. Someone tried CLINIQUE SUPERBALANCED MINERAL POWDER on me and I feel it is a very good product. It is not as heavy as mac, lasts longer and doesn't get sticky. Anyone who has tried this particular powder or any other foundations/powder by clinique, please share your experiences and reviews about the product.

I think the poster has a point somewhere. I will not speak for everyone, but I will speak for myself. A lot of people do say I am pretty and often get surprised when I say I have been single for ages. In fact my relationship life is really sad, and I'm so far from being happy. One of my fears is that even with all this beauty, I may end up being alone for a long time because I see people who are no so pretty getting good guys. So right now, instead of paying attention and conscious effort to the physical, I'm trying to get to know and build the woman within. That's because beauty radiates from the inside.

Well Said

As they say sha, 'Agoro is a bastard'. smh at you. You have to move on regardless, so please do apologise to her. Make sure you mean every single thing you say.

dstiva99:
@ livedit, thank you for your advice, I am not going to do anything else because at this point, I feel like I have done enough. I have apologized until the point where I can apologize no more. I am truly sorry and I miss him so much but I have done my part and now it is left up to him to do his part by forgiving me. I can only pray that he will see my heart and that I do love him and do not want the relationship to end. However, if he wants to end it, then there is nothing more I can do.

@MrBrownJ, thank you for your comment, it is nice to hear a guy's perspective. I have done so much to be apologetic and[b] even though I know he cares about me[/b], I was very hrut by the fact that he has not responded to me at all. That does make me question how much he cares but I will wait to see if he comes around. In the meantime, I will just focus on myself as livedit has said.

@Pysam, I do not think that asking someone to not disappear without a simple call or text is self centered or insecure. I think that when you are in a relationship, it should be a joy to communicate to the other person. If you cannot communicate, what do you really have? and that has nothing to do with being "american".

The highlighed part makes me . I'm sorry to sound negative, but these days you can never be too sure. With all you claimed he did to you, that is quite far from being caring my love.

@OP If you continue like this, many guys will take advantage of you. I am not going to tell you off coz I know how it feels. But for the sake of self respect, the only people you need in your life are those that need you in theirs. I have come to realise that if a guy really wants you, he will fight to keep you regardless. You have got you and that's all you should be proud of, never make anyone feel like your life ends when they leave.
In this world, not everyone needs to like you and they don't have to like you. We all have choices, he made his so MOVE ON!