₦airaland Forum

I am talking as a person who has lived in the US and EU, specifically UK amongst other places. Please come to London and repeat that nonsense and see what will happen. What gives an ill-informed person like you the grounds to imply that Obama who is probably the most reviled president because of his ethnic make is receiving the level of abuse people like you give to GEJ. GEJ despite his faults is clearly head and shoulders above his critics in all measurable areas. What do you know? What is freedom of expression? To call your parents inane 'names'. Will that mean that I will feel that I am exercising my freedom of expression? You come on forums to expose you lack of knowledge and your myopic ignorance. I suggest you read opinions and not espouse things which you do not know much about. Democracy does not mean GEJ is your servant. He is serving Nigeria as the president. Remember NIGERIA. Not you as an individual. But the collective. Is your views a collective view? Here, there and over there.

agbameta: Are you talking about the real US and European countries or the one inside your room and parlor? You only get questioned by the secrete service after making death threats against the president and never for exercising your guaranteed freedom of expression.


A US congressman call Obama a liar to his face in front of both chambers during his state of the union address and in front of millions of Americans and nothing happened to him. People insult and abuse him everyday and it's no big deal, they call him a terrorist, Hitler and other odious qualifications.


You obviously know nothing about the US, Europe and the civilized world hence your ignorant and pedestrian utterance..You president is a human being elected by the people and his not above abuse and insults based on his performance in office. He's not doing us any favor as the president of Nigeria, he begged, promised heaven and earth to be given the opportunity to be the president and we pay him to do his job as the president of Nigeria. We are not his servants, but he is our servant.


Lastly, get acquainted with the noble glorious concept called freedom of expression, it's part of your constitution and to my knowledge, the constitution is still in tact.


Btw, you GEJ lots care less about insults and abuse when you insult and abuse leaders from other region, you call Buhari unprintable names everyday, insulting and abusing Tinubu is your favorite past time, you still insult and ridicule Awolowo till this very second.

I don't think you people have any mirrors to look at hence your ridiculous and hypocritical knee jack reaction to anything GEJ...

Hello. Rufai retweeted a tweet. Rufai is a freeborn citizen and ex-minister. In other words a human being with views, good and bad. I personally believe he can be pedantic, vengeful and puerile. Included in the Nigeria Constitution as amended, Nigerians are forbidden to bring the person of the President of Nigeria to ridicule with clear sanctions. In Russia, US and European Union members states, if you abuse an elected President or prime minister, the security services will take a particular interest, and more likely to arrest you to find out your state of mind, etc. In Nigeria, everybody feels obliged to insult the President. This cannot happen in any other African state. Indiscipline and stupidity seems peculiar to Nigerians. Rufai and Fani Kayode uses this method to attempt to force Goodluck Jonathan to employ them or laugh on this one, 'settle them' There is a false rumour in Abuja that GEJ settles his critics.

The blame game:
According to the Sahara Reporters, Ms Oduah is responsible for the death of the General Murtala Mohammed, General Abacha, Gen Shehu Yardua and Alhaji Umar Yaradua. She was also implicated in the coups of 1983, 1985, 1993. She was responsible for all the air crashes in Nigeria to date. Sahara Reporters (SR) is a top news agency that goes where other agencies dread to tread. SR also reported that she was guilty of being fair complexioned. She was also guilty of being overweight according to the latest pictures we see on the telly. She is also guilty of being Ibo and being called a Princess. In fact, she has two eyes and two nostrils, a mouth and womanly figure which is against the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as Abridged.

On the other hand, Nairalanders must insist on people in public and civil offices to observe due diligence and due process. Once someone can prove this, then we wait for the judicial process to follow. Ms Oduah has impressed so far. For all anyone knows, she may be found guilty, but today she's as innocent as the wind. I do not particularly like her sartorial take on power dressing, but she has proven to be astute so far. She can only be convicted on cover up now. She awarded contracts which has not been fully implemented, so the contractors has questions to answer. She approved the purchase of cars presented by her permanent secretaries. The directors and perm sec in her ministry need to be probed further.

SR is there for sensationalism. Last week it was Patience. She was dead, not dead, etc. Then it was Enugu state governor. He was dead, not dead, etc. The list goes on. There has never been an apology by this useless agency for tricking Nigerians. They cannot be sued, because they are faceless. No one can get legal remedy, so they publish and claim to be in New York. Nigeria is a spineless country for allowing this criminal organisation to encourage mob action from a distance. Government must fashion a way to get these rrats to answer for their evil campaign. Very soon, it will be the turn of our sainted Ngozi Okonjo Iweala. The CBN was finished by the campaign of insinuation, etc.

The @OP was very clear on the state of play. His father died intestate and the inevitable happened. A greedy relative went and took over. This is the premise on all the response so far. I wonder what other information you need before you can appreciate the situation. Of course there are self help measures which the people here have advised. But the @OP will play into the hand of the transgressors by taking those steps. They transgressors will then use the legal instruments of Nigeria to defeat the @OP. This leaves us with the legal means. (The @OP did not state the likely value of the Land in question) From the @OP's assertion that he does not have the means to fight this, then he has to apply to the State where the property is located to fight for the family for the deceased. It is possible that his relative have already obtained a letter of administration. In which case, the relative rightly controls the administration of the estate (the relative can sell or convert as he so wishes). If not, then the state can administer the estate until such a time he can convene a family meeting to retrieve the property from the state. The @OP should beware, if the said properties is resold a number of times without his challenge, then the court may find that he forfeited his right to the properties since he did not avail himself of the applicable legal remedies at the time or reasonable time (which is typically 5 years).

lawyer: So many uninformed and illegal answers that it makes it difficult to address the problem properly without looking stupid too. Honestly I think Nairaland should devise a method whereby serious and matured people should have the opportunity to respond to important issues and leave the Davido commentators to focus on wiz kid topics.

Before you analyse the issues on the ground, you have to treat it line by line with regards to the OPs story to get to the root of the problem.

1. The OPs father died intestate but he left the papers in Nigera and he PRESUMED they have fallen into the hands of his brother ( Meaning he isn't sure and you have to get the facts right before making an allegation)

2. OP states he has BROTHERS and his YOUNGER BROTHER ( that is one of his YOUNGER BROTHER . . . .we don't know how many they are) sold some of their Dads land without informing the OP. Did he inform the other brothers and did they consent to it? We don't know yet.


3. Where is the land located? Village or city because it with aid in knowing whether a customary way of addressing land issues is to be applied or modern land law rules. Also Did the OPs father marry a wife or wives and are they still alive?

If these requisitions above are properly addressed, it's easier to advise on th next course of action rather than jump into conclusion or formulate answers that either have no bearings to the case nor legal in the eyes of the law

This is a well trodden road. You have two good options.
Firstly, contact your state's attorney general to obtain a letter of administration over all your fathers properties. This should take about 4-5 weeks. This does not cost anything upfront. Once they are armed with this document, they will recover all the properties as at the time of your fathers demise. They will charge fees once they collect money such as rent, etc to cover the government expenses (lawyer fees, etc)
The second one is to file a high court suit in the state seeking the restitution of the said properties. You will need to join the buyers and cohorts by adding 'other' in the suit. This will mean that the property is now being adjudicated by the court and cannot be resold or tampered with.. This can take many years. The cost can vary according to the lawyer. The filings is less that 10,000 naira. However the lawyer will charge around 20,000 naira (lawyer fees) plus monthly transport money to attend court of around 4,000 naira. You can also add all the properties that belong to the kindred in the mix to force the family to settle.

Democracy requires everyone to have a view. A lot of members of this forum are disappointing and ill-informed. However stupidity and mob action serves no one in the polity. All the same your views must not contradict the laid down rules and regulations or the rule of law. The Hon minister has now attended a NASS hearing. Many people in this forum has condemned her for rampant corruption. But from the evidence of Ministry of Finance, NSA, NCAA, FAAN, The Hon Minister of Aviation, The Customs and Excise, Coscharis and a host of other witnesses. So far, Lagos State, Coscharis and NCAA has more questions to answer. Ministry of Finance, Customs and Excise and NSA were duped and need to sue Coscharis for abuse of privilege. The Hon Minister was exonerated on legal grounds. She insisted on due process all the way through. However she was guilty of not holding her agencies more closely to account. The culture of sycophancy by agencies to their ministers has to be addressed. Corruption of the soul of the average Nigerian has to be looked at.

Why should she quit? All these useless forum (Is there an association of SE Unprofessionals or SS Unprofessionals I wonder) by sad and irrelevant sycophants must shield their swords. This woman has proved beyond reasonable doubt that she followed due process. All the tendering and bidding was open. If she quits, should Diezani also step aside, and the president himself who all parade around Abuja in Bullet Proof cars? Why did the aviation agency buy this car from Coscharis? That should be the question. Who got any kickbacks? Why didn't other providers of Bullet Proof cars bid for this tender? By stepping aside, mob action would have won. The president will be forced to step aside while he is investigated as well. How can Coscharis justify this price? Hon. Oduah should continue her good work. She has transformed the aviation industry. All those useless ex-aviation ministers bankrupted the sector before being sacked, while she has actually enabled the re-development of the infrastructure of the airports nationwide

The days of the Jackals. One day the Aviation Minister will leave this post for better opportunities. I know for sure that navigational equipments were delivered to all Nigeria airports. I also know that trained Nigerians were recruited to operate the said equipment. Why are Nigerians incapable of operating these equipments after employment. Of course we blame Ms Oduah for the price of Garri and Amala. We will remain in the dark as long we persecute the wrong people for bestial purposes. Sahara Reporters specialises in crass reporting. All the other media forums tries to copy and emulate them ignorantly. The sad thing is, even when they realise their mistake, they move on to another target, instead of correcting their mistake.

That picture is not new. TA Orji has done more for Abia than Orji Uzor Kalu. Besides that road is a FEDERAL ROAD, like the ABA OWERRI ROAD. The blame should go to the Federal Government. Why is it that people post untruths in the name of 'Pull him down syndrome'? TA Orji has transformed Umuahia and Aba. Let us kick him for his negligence, when he is negligent. Not when he is nowhere near the scene of the crime.

Irrelevant and sordid. The silly season is here again. The story does not stack up. Who posted this nonsense in the first place?

President Goodluck Jonathan is the strongest leader has ever had. Presently Nigeria enjoys international respect from Africa and beyond. The ruling class are now populated by the very best in the class. He has strengthened all areas and sectors of the economy. He haas mastered the art of delegation. He has implemented Human Rights and rule of Law without any fanfare. This post should have read: Yearning for a bestial leader in the mold of Abacha. Since when did extra judicial killings and rampant and brazen corruption been assessed as the qualities of a 'strong leader' Let us continue to support GEJ. He will continue to deliver the dividends. The haters must realise, that they may get what they wish for.

The excellent Goodluck Jonathan promised inter alia that GOVERNANCE by witch hunt will not form part of his presidency. He also promised to continue DUE PROCESS as enunciated by the departed and the formerly excellent Yar Adua. In a democracy, it is worthwhile exercising a modicum of patience, instead of ritualistic jingoism. Office holders in Nigeria are not accorded any human rights or the basic rights, such as Innocent until proven guilty. Good luck with Mob action!

A gangster who has terrorised residents and businesses in south London could soon be back on the streets after ministers failed to deport him despite four years of trying.

Joland Giwa, whose street name is Dexter and is a self-confessed “general” of Croydon gang Don’t Say Nothing, has been in detention since 2009.

A judge has now given immigration officials three months to get him travel documents and deport him or he must be released.

Giwa, 24, arrived in Britain from Nigeria with his twin brother Mikey in 1999 when they were 10 years old, claiming their parents had been killed in the civil war in Sierra Leone and requesting asylum. Their claim was rejected but they were given permanent leave to remain in 2005.

By then Giwa already had a conviction for handling stolen goods and over the next four years he committed a string of robberies and thefts which led to a 27-month jail term in February 2009.

Time served meant he was due to be released later that year and while in jail he posted a picture of himself flexing his muscles on Facebook using a phone which had been smuggled into prison and boasted he would be out “real soon.”

However, he was instead moved to an immigration centre as officials tried to expel him from the UK. He was transferred to Belmarsh prison in March 2011 after intelligence suggested he was involved in smuggling drugs into the detention centre.

Police have investigated a YouTube video in which Giwa boasted about stabbing a man “in the f***ing head” and warning rival gangs “Croydon is our town”. His twin brother was jailed for trying to smuggle heroin and sim cards in to Belmarsh last year.

Immigration officials have failed to secure a passport to deport Giwa. Both Sierra Leone and Nigeria have failed to accept he is a national of their respective countries. New talks between the Home Office and the Sierra Leone High Commission are due this week.

Judge John Keyser QC said the Home Office was “entirely justified in coming to the view that the claimant presents a very significant risk both of absconding and reoffending” and that he presents a “serious risk of violence.”

But he said the length of his detention — 53 months — had been “pushed to the limit of what is capable of being considered reasonable”.

A Home Office spokesman said: “Giwa is a dangerous individual ... work continues to remove him from the UK.”

Source: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/south-london-gangster-who-cant-be-kicked-out-of-uk-set-to-be-released-8898769.html?origin=internalSearch

Does anyone know this thug that is bringing shame to Nigeria? He was abandoned by his parents in London, he is doing everything to tarniish every Nigerian. His name is definitely Nigerian, despite the Sierra Leone link, which is tenuous. Assignment. Please hand in by Friday.

Even in the so called civilised nations, crime still pays. In the light of this and other failings in the west, do we have anything to learn from these people, despite importing their ill-manners

Five thousand police officers flooded London today in a blitz on thieves stealing 10,000 mobile phones a month.

They took part in raids, patrols, and weapon sweeps targeting muggers. The Big Wing operation aims to combat a huge rise in theft offences in London, most involving phones. Commander Stephen Watson, leading today’s operation, said: “We are trying to get people to take care of what is a very valuable commodity.

“We still see people coming out of the Tube and waving their iPhones to pick up messages, they are easy pickings for thieves.” Officers carried out dawn raids on suspects, conducted street briefings, patrolled robbery hotspots, and set up knife arches at stations.

Police say they have reduced the increase in phone thefts from 14 per cent to six per cent.

Source: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/5000-police-blitz-phone-thieves-in-capital-8899061.html?origin=internalSearch

Nigeria corruption started way back. Corruption in Nigeria is simple. Corrupt people are trying to take care of the rainy day. We do not have a welfare system in Nigeria, Like the US, EU an elsewhere. People help themselves once they get an opportunity. This started as far back as 1975 during the putsch of Gen Murtala Mohammed. It is now persistent in the national character. Can anyone alive claim that a relative or friend has not been corruptly enriched in the past 35 years? Corruption tends to be when other people are stealing the money. Not when our own are stealing. We must appraise ourselves before we cast that vital first stone. Let us not throw stone and ask ourselves, how can we change for the better?

In an age when Boko Haram are murdering Nigerian citizens with impunity, commenters on this forum and elsewhere waste their time attacking a defenceless woman. BH has now murdered more than 4000 citizens. Can we elevate our mind to more cogent discuss, instead of the hackneyed Madam Oduah. We can hate her for sure. As well as other ministers. I wish we can buy the Boko Harams cars to stop them bombing this country to smithereens. What are your views about the Boko Haram menace? That to me matters a lot more

The presidency must consider the following advice: Those who live in a glass house must not throw stones. Pres, Patie, Vice pres and all the other ministers are driven around in bullet proof cars. Why did the FG not buy this woman a befitting car to avoid her being killed by her haters. The amount of bile and hate that is witnessed everyday by her enemies of progress is so tangible, that I believe she is superhuman to endure all that. Corruption needs to be tackled from the top down. She did not start the corruption. The FG needs to tackle the insecurity which has forced the ministers and ordinary Nigerians to use bullet proof cars to feel safe

Stella Oduah, the Honorable minister for aviation deserves the car. However, if she connived to inflate the cost, then she should face the music. I am by no means an Honorable minister, yet I have faced armed robbery attacks, assassination attempts by misguided hoodlums. This woman is universally hated by former ministers, disaffected party members who wants her position, etc. She has sustained an assassination attempt, etc. It is not easy being a minister of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. It must be considered to be a dubious pleasure to be appointed: Poisoned chalice. I want Sahara Reporters or the haters to name a minister who does not have a bullet proof car. Stella is unfortunate that her haters are after her blood.

The cursing and tales will need to stop. The pilot is not at fault, neither is the honorable minister if we must call her that. The blame worthy should be the owners of the aircraft and the operators. The blame culture in this blighted country means that people who should admit blame go into hiding whenever there is a mishap. Associated Flying Undertakers must step up to take a bow. The book should be thrown at them for the pain, blood and embarrassment heaped on Nigeria. Their details are below: Sorry no website. Never again fly on an aircraft without a website. I am still trying to find the beneficial owner.

Associated Aviation
56 Moshood Abiola Ave
Ikeja
Lagos
NIGERIA

Tel.: +234 1 270 4744
Fax: +234 1 270 474
Email: info@flyassociated.com
Website:

Type: Charter, regional, domestic, pax, cargo
Owner: -
Base: Lagos Murtala Mohammed (LOS)
Hubs: -
Start of ops: 1996

There has been accusations from everyone, @femikayode to @NASSSenate that @stellaoduah is responsible. She is not responsible for the Pilots lack of critical judgement and fallibility. However, someone must take the overall blame. Some blame should also go to the minister if after the incident, she did not address the public about the incident in a cogent way. Nigerian Pilots must be ordered to go on a re-training courses. The actions deciphered so far suggest that the PILOT is under some influence ( such as intoxicant, lack of sleep, etc), which enabled him to exhibit lack of judgement. The indiscipline and corruption that is endemic in the wider population can also be a factor. Stella must admit to the nation that there is more work to be done human capital in the aviation sector. On a sadder note, hundreds of Nigerians perish daily on the road network. Most often on commuter services. Yet no outcry is visited on this. No other country will tolerate the carnage on Nigeria's road. This Christmas could see a record number die. Let us campaign for a safe Christmas for all on Nigeria roads

President Jonathan needs to hear what is happening at the NPF. The IGP has been deducting 5500 Naira from the salary of the rank and file of the staff of the force nationally, thereby further impoverishing the already demoralised officers. This started three months ago, ostensibly to pay for the recent wedding of the IGP. Yet the deduction has continued. No wonder the NPF is so corrupt.

The judiciary at the federal level is being further corrupted by the moneybags. Andy Uba being one of the richest under sixty, should emulate Bill Gate and try and eradicate malaria or polio, etc. This incessant quest to buy immunity through being a governor is tiresome. He has been involved in corrupting over the past few years. A man who has a number of oil wells should seek advisers on how to use these funds from Baba Obasanjo judiciously instead of trying to bring Anambra state to ridicule.

The reportage of the journalists based in our country is diabolical. Gov. Amaechi was asked to use the front gate of his mansion because the back gate is insecure. Which any reasonable will agree to very readily. However, because Gov. Amaechi and the commissioner of police (CP) in the state are at logger heads, advice from the police for his own safety is wholly misinterpreted to show the CP in bad light. This is a non story. It is the silly season where anything goes. The fifth estate should avoid lazy reporting to avoid the inadvertent break down of law and order.

Don't cry for the drug sellers. Good riddance to killers and murderers. The unwarranted death of Nigerians up and down the country can be laid at the doors of these brazen charlatans. To suggest the alternative is armed robbery shows their level of knowledge.

Soldier dies on North Yorkshire moor training run.

Third dead Brecon SAS soldier named Servicemen died on training exercise. A British soldier has collapsed and died while on a three-mile training run on moorland in North Yorkshire.

The United Kingdom Ministry of Defence said Pte Michael Ihemere, from Umuodo, Nigeria, was pronounced dead on Barden Moor, Leyburn, on Wednesday morning. The 26 year old was serving with the 1st Battalion Mercian Regiment.

Lt Col Mark Ellwood, his commanding officer, said he was a "reliable, talented and popular soldier, respected by all across his company". Pte Ihemere joined the Army in November 2011.

He was posted to the 1st Battalion Mercian Regiment last September and deployed to Afghanistan the following month. Sometimes it is necessary to join the UK armed forces to acquire 'stay', citizenship, etc. This is the most popular way Ghanaian's use to acquire 'stay'. Nigerians should frown on this route. Nigerians are not 'tough' like other Africans.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-23896146

The politics of Geriatric Politics.

I welcome Festus keyamo. He is younger and has proven that he has something to offer Nigeria at every level. But what are Chief Bisi Akande, General Buhari and the superannuated Bola Tinubu doing with APC. There is nothing that puts off under sixties and the young in participating in elective politics than to see these band of merry old men parading themselves as 'Politicians'. What happened to the wind of change that swept Barack Obama and David Cameron to the White House and Downing Street respectively.Enunciating the principle that in these economic tigerish times, a nation needs a younger, agile, ethically compliant and prudent man or woman to preside over the affairs of the state. Statesmanship at summits is not just a social event, but also a tough negotiating meet up, with the respective aides doing their best to gain competitive advantage.

London and Washington are asking whether these progressively senile men are the best brains that Nigeria can offer. This offers other questions. What has happened to the new intake from the last electoral exercise. To understand why these men partake in these treachery is to understand the power of money in African Politics.

Nigeria Politics is a study on the politics of money and rabid corruption. Money fuels Nigeria Politics inordinately. Most under forties will not have served in an executive position,thereby having no huge wealth to settle all the necessary and grassroot operatives to work conscientiously for the cause.

However the older self serving politicians had amassed huge wealth through graft during their erstwhile executive positions. During the twilight of their lives, they believe that it is their turn to be the boss of bosses. But at what cost to the nation they claim to love.

Collectively, what does these have to offer. Nothing on the table for the intelligentsia to analyse and recommend. However they also offer unstinting verbosity to how they will benefit the average Nigerian. They will build infrastructure all over the land. They will eliminate every disease, they will deliver every other persons desire.

What is the view of these men on the current monetary policies being pursued by the Government? Most young people are having problem renting properties all over the country, does Chief Akande has any supply side policies to address this thorny issue? The US and the other constituents of G8 are spending money to develop their shale gas capability, this invariably mean that the need for Nigeria's crude will be greatly reduced as well the price. Does Bola Tinubu has any policies to deal with the reduced revenue from the petroleum products? The security situation in Nigeria is very worrying. Does General Buhari have a panacea to halt or resolve the Boko Haram menace? Corruption and graft in Nigeria is endemic. Do you consider your person as the best placed to tackle this number one enemy to progress?

A question of integrity. Is Nigeria a sovereign nation or a colony? Of course we are notionally a REPUBLIC for fifty years now. However, we behave and transact as a colonial dependent. Nigeria currently enjoys a $450 Billion economy. Why accept an aid which is not really an aid. The G8 (Western Countries) gives Nigeria less than $1 Billion each year in 'aid', yet they expect Nigeria to roll over and accept their bitter sideswipes. The aid is not really cash, but obligated aid, such as British council sending technical experts and paying them from this 'aid'. US sending over CIA operatives as technical 'experts' to spy on Nigeria's activities and their policies. The EU sending over their capacity planners for impact assessments. The UK Daily Mail is wrong to suggest that their country is sustaining Nigeria. It is a mutual thing. It burnishes UK's image as a nation punching above their weight. Yet Nigeria sovereign wealth fund and Foreign Reserve is invested with them, and the interest amounting to over $5 Billion is retained as well as the taxes we pay them. The Daily Mail is either ill-informed or mischievious.

lukas baker: onitsha isakaba is coming back

It is wrong for people to elevate gossip and propaganda to discussion topics. Onitsha is the best town in Nigeria. Others and haters hang all their dirty washings on Onitsha.

hal9000: I'm so sorry for your loss, bro. I know you're hurting, but what the poster i quoted above says is pretty qood advice. Ndo o, heartfelt sympathies to your mum.

This is a senseless loss. I concur with the above advice. Remember that death can happen at anytime to anyone. This is the price on all our head. These bus operators run a compensation scheme quite alright, but that money can not and will never fill the chasm in your life or that your larger family. Set up a committee of friends to lighten the burden of funeral arrangements. Best of Luck.

To all Haters, be guided and informed of the discourse. UK has indicated that there will be a 3000 GBP bond for high risk applicants.This bond is fully refundable, as long as the individual returns on cue. The announced this and has followed it up with consultations. Nigeria is not the only country in this scheme. But the countries with the highest visa delinquents has been slated for the initial trial of the scheme. Get it. It is good for UK. I support it. UK is not designed to be a place to 'try your luck anymore'. Let the Ministers, etc mind their own business. Is it by FORCE!

Recently our brothers and sisters who are away from Nigeria, sweet Nigeria are confused by the latest jargon and idioms as used commonly across our country. A Sample is as follows:
AFMAGISTAN
Africa’s 56th country, remote-controlled by Nigerian-born Generals Aki and Pawpaw.

BOSS
A boss is a boss. If he’s worthy of flattery, and he’s not a ‘Chairman’, then he’s a BOSS. (For women, see MUMMIFY)

CABALLIONAIRE
There are billionaires, and then there are Caballionaires, who not only have more money than most, but also owe far more.

D’IRREGULATION
The World Bank and the IMF love to push a tough policy of “deregulation” on developing countries, as the surest path to economic development. When things don’t work out, as they often don’t, “d’irregulation” is the tragic result.

ERM’PLOYMENT
A promise – of hundreds of thousands of jobs – that is taken seriously neither by the promiser nor the promisees.

FUELICITATIONS
A gift of petrol given during a period of nationwide scarcity. Generally far more appreciated than everything else except a (most improbable) gift of a US or UK visa.

GIDIOPOLIS
An urban sprawl of 16 million persons, all united by a singular pursuit of ‘hustle’, and the lack of underground rail. Sometimes also known as Lagos.

HEAT-AND-RUN
A person who is allergic to kitchens. Often has to depend on microwavable food: they pop it into the machine, press START, and flee the kitchen until a relentless beeping summons.

‘i’
Like everywhere else, the Magic ‘i’ is the difference between Ordinariness and Ultramodernism (see ULTRAMODERN).
So there are Phones and then there are iPhones; there are Pads and then there are iPads; and there are Problems and then there are iProblems, which range from having to decide whether to drive the Porsche or the Jaguar today, to whether Monaco isn’t a more befitting vacation destination than the Swiss Alps.

JOLLOF-QUOTIENT
A measure of your ability to live life to the fullest, per unit time. On other people’s money.

KIRI-KATA
A hypnotic Afrobeat-ish chant made famous by comedian and actor ‘Saka’ in the advert he featured in, announcing his switch from one mobile phone company to another. Kiri-Kata will probably end up referring to the dance that held us spellbound in that video. Step aside, Azonto and Kukere.

LIE EXPECTANCY
It is, very simply, the half-life of a publicly available lie. A lie with a high L.E. does not need to be repeated as often as one with a low L.E.

MUMMIFY
To succumb to the immense societal pressure to call a living female boss ‘Mummy’, regardless of whether she’s really your mummy or not. Widely encouraged in government offices and religious institutions.

NOCCUPATION
Any job that can be vaguely summarised as ‘this and that’. The next time someone tells you he’s into ‘oil and gas’, or ‘contracts’, it’s a Noccupation. You’re more likely to attain the Nigerian Dream with a Noccupation than an Occupation.

OGA-AT-THE-TOP
Anyone whose permission must be sought before you can make a categorical public statement, because you don’t want to say Something and Oga At The Top will say Something Else.

QUESTION OF LIFE
The fundamental question that you must master if you intend to be an authentic Nigerian journalist: “May we know you?” Recommended for prefacing all interviews with persons known and unknown.

(A)RRANT NONSENSE
The preferred cuss word of the Nigerian Oga-At-The-Top. Everything is “Arrant nonsense” to a displeased Oga-At-The-Top.

SUB
A ‘sub’ is the online equivalent of a critical To-Whom-It-May-Concern letter. It is an unflattering statement sent out into cyberspace on the principle that ‘A fool and his/her SUB are soon united.’ Exact origins unclear, but scholars believe it came from Napoleon Bonaparte’s famous letter to Lord Nelson, which reportedly kicked off the Battle of Trafalgar: “Sub(marine) me one, shame on you; sub me twice, France is going to war!”

TODAY’S MAN
Euphemism for a politician or senior government official who’s still on the side of the fence where the grass is greenest. Contrast with YESTERDAY’S MAN.

ULTRAMODERN
Every newly constructed structure in Nigeria is ultramodern by default: ultramodern wire fence, ultramodern public toilet, ultramodern car wash, ultramodern hospital syringes.
If it’s not ultramodern, then it doesn’t exist.

VEXTRON
Vextrons are social media bodyguards who offer their services unsolicited to celebrities. They are to be found wandering the dark and dangerous alleyways of Twitter and Facebook especially, sniffing out enemies to be demolished with a few quick strokes of a QWERTY keyboard.

WAZOLEAKS
A Nigerian start-up that hopes to rival Wikileaks. It will not only open up governments, but also delve deep into longstanding mysteries like why MoinMoin always finishes before the rice at Nigerian parties.

X
We may be wrong, but no Nigerian languages we came across in the course of our research for this piece possesses the letter X in its alphabet.
We therefore leave X to stand for the unknowable, unattainable, non-X-istent solution to the Nigerian Conundrum.

Can anyone better this list or add to it to create a useful reminder to the diasporans that our cultural life is dynamic and progressive.

The above was culled from http://arikwings.com/?p=2900

What do you know?

Ticha: To the best of my knowledge, he was denied bail because he was accused of raping his flatmate. Apparently, she said no and he didn't stop. He was also accused of possessing child pornography on his laptop. He apparently also committed suicide a day before the jury were due to reach a verdict.
I know him very well and can't say whether he did it or not. The Nigerian High Commission is not doing anything or even trying to get any info.
HMP is threatening to cremate him cos nobody is coming forward for the corpse. The Idoma community has decided to raise money to repatriate the corpse home.

How good is your knowledge. According to the Causelist of the Newcastle Crown Court, he was facing a three count charge. We may never what really transpired in this matter. Quick search on Google showed that he was a significant man. He has been donating books to University of Makurdi. He has also donated to other good causes. Death in custody in a police cell or prison is always referred for independent investigation. All the stakeholders in this forum must remember that death awaits everyone of us. Do not speak ill of the dead. People may also speak ill of you, when the inevitable occurs. We must also cut the Nigeria High Commission (NHC) some slack. UK is a sovereign nation. The NHC can not overstep their legal position by interfering with internal UK processes. A reputable lawyer should be procured to unravel what happened. Alternatively, his MP should also be persuaded to write to prison for answers, which by Law, they must provide within 2 weeks, or sooner. When facts change, be prepared to change your mind.