₦airaland Forum

Jeepers Creepers

4Horsemen:
I have always been an advocate of freedom of expression and action for adults. People can do what they want, as long as they are adults. At the same time, Pastors MUST be held accountable for their actions.


Many American pastors have been caught out. I will not even go there because the list is long. I remember back then in boarding school i had some of my seniors were fanatical about some of these American pastors. 2 of them were caught cheating on their wives with prostitutes and with other women. Incredible isn't it?

Yeah. it is. Such a pity. However, holding them accountable for their actions is not as simple as it sounds. They are only guilty of breaking the trust and confidence of their members in such situations or, worse, betraying their teachings which are not crimes in themselves but just acts of moral indiscipline...hardly punishable offenses which have no provisions in the criminal law, except in law of torts where they will be required to pay damages to the victim(s) or be restricted from certain activities that may give rise to another case of abuse of influence in the future, that is, if found guilty of committing a tort.

I still remember the case of the pastor of COZA and his victim, Efe. She spilled the beans on their secret affair because, according to her, her conscience could no longer handle the guilt which prompted her to expose the affair between them to the public.

Bottom line is there is nothing, at best little we can do to check this abuse of power and influence since it is rooted in religion and religion is a major driving force of human affairs. This is why pastors easily abuse their respected office of authority with impunity.

One last thing, another factor that contributes to this abuse of influence by pastors is the society. The society we live in does not help matters but makes it worse. A married lady who is looked down on by the society for her inability to bear fruits of the womb is already a fertile ground for an evil pastor to exercise his sexual prowess or gymnastics in the name of endowing her with the fruits of the womb straight from heaven. She will gladly let him if at least there is the slightest hope of taking away that reproach of being barren.

So, you see, making them accountable for their actions is easier said than done.

4Horsemen:
I love the way you broke things down, logically. I have hope that some people do not accept abuse of power, which is what this points to. A pastor was caught making love to a pregnant lady in a hotel. I do not want to post that video and do not want to name the church because people will take things personal. He basically got the lady pregnant as her husband could not get her pregnant. Absolutely disgusting.

Basically the couple had been trying for a baby for 2 years and were not successful. They were both Anglicans but she convinced her husband to attend the church (I choose not to name the church). As the couple had more misunderstanding stemming from the husband's inability to maker her pregnant, she became closer to her pastor as time went by. It got to a stage where after every shouting match with her husband, she called the pastor and his wife to 'report' her husband. She was a worker in the church and was very close to the pastor.

When she became pregnant, there was a lot of thanksgiving in the church. Little did the members know that the pastor was the father of the baby. Well, to cut the long story short, the pastor was caught with the 8 months old pregnant lady in a hotel. Baby has been born and negative paternity test for the husband. Baby is 5 months now. Pastor divorced with his wife, out of job in the church, church members have left, the husband of the lady has left the young mother and the whole thing is very untidy. Sounds very much like a nollywood movie? Yeah, but there's a video of at least the hotel scene.

I just cannot understand how some ladies get deceived. How can you respect a pastor more than your husband? It is just incredible. As for the young and single ladies, please flee from these so called men of God. Try to think for yourself. Please, please wake up. Think for yourself.

Sometimes I feel like flogging Nigerians for not being smart. You just let yourselves to be hypnotised.

It is pathetic I tell you. This is the norm in many churches today...and so sickening.

What can be done about it? Almost nothing. The fact that this is always happening around the globe without some form of legal restriction testifies to the helplessness of people in forging a solution to it. Come to think of it, you can't tell an adult how to live his/her life as long as they do not violate the laws of the country. This, you see, is where the problem lies. The best we can do is plead with people to not let themselves be deceived by these wolves in sheep's clothing...and hope they listen.

@ the bolded, they will not listen though I hope they do. I'm not being pessimistic but the fact is it happens even where you least expect it. So effing incredible! Over the centuries, this has defied solution but then I'm so grateful that not all ladies think alike.

Hahahahaha. You don't really mean that. It is up to them to choose or refuse to be hypnotised. Afterall, they're adults, aren't they?

johnydon22:
Yes bro, thats ok. . . I just don't concur to the idea of punishing a finite sin with an infinite punishment. . it doesn't imply justice at all and basically is evil in a plain sense disregarding beliefs. . . Anyway bro lets just fashi these things shaa. .

Yeah. Good idea.

johnydon22:
and exactly what i replied. . . why do your assert he deserves to burn in hell forever simply because he is having sex with someone who also consented. . How can eternity in hell fit such a little offence(not even an offence on my part since it is mutual). . such punishment concept is not just because those punishments doesn't fit the crime which then also leave the punisher to have done some evil on his own, who then will punish him/her?

hahaha. Johnnydon22, I refuse to be drawn into this argument with you cos we'll just go round and round without reaching any agreement in opinion or belief. It will be an endless debate without conclusion.

4Horsemen:
You read the whole thing well. It may not have happened in Nigeria but what is the solution to all these? I know it happens here because I have first hand information on similar occurrences. Why do pastors do it? Why are ladies so easily deceived? What is the solution to all these?

Do we treat it as a case of consenting adults?

Why do pastors do it? Selfishness

Why are ladies so easily deceived? Most are so gullible and impressionable.

Solution? Do you mean the solution to keep ladies from being deceived by pastors? That lies in the ladies using their God given common sense like you are doing, for example.

Yes. It is and will be treated as a case of consenting adults, unfortunately. However, a case can also be made for it in the law of torts. The case of abuse of influence in the teacher/student and pastor/member relationships. For this case to hold, the victim of abuse of influence in such relationship, the student or member, should be the one instituting an action against the teacher or student, otherwise there's no case.

johnydon22:
Uuuhm so the pastor deserves to burn in an eternal flame forever simply for having sex with two consenting adults? . . . I think you need to re-evaluate your sense of justice..

I never opined that. If he or his members (the ladies he sleeps with) continue in this path and dies in their sins, they will have condemned themselves to hell, the pastor being the reason the members are there. That is what I meant by my post.

4Horsemen:
It is about 10 minutes long. Very sad video really.

I always WANT Nigerians (and other Africans) to critically reason at all times. Many Christians are too fanatical to think logically. Many Christians are too scared to question 'the norm'. Very sad.

Pastors are very rich - they have sex with members, they receive payments from the congregation to fund their lavish lifestyle.

Yet they are holier than their congregation.

Africans.............

The matter tire me no be small. The question is how to grab the bull by the horns.

newguy1:
i swear to u with this my fasting all those radical group are not representing d Muslim. They r just after their own selfish act. Boko haram having been killing Muslims too u known, n how many Muslim countries have come out to declare their support for isis.

Don't put a curse on yourself by swearing falsely because the instructions to kill and sever the limbs of 'infidels' are clearly stated in black and white in your Quaran.

If truly they were not representing Musims, we would have known by verifying the justification of their actions in your holy book. However, a cursory look at the Quaran will reveal copious amount of verses justifying the senseless killings of people regarded as infidels or unbelievers.

Truth be told, the whole world has developed hatred for Islam for its reputation for senseless bloodshed and destruction of property...Islamophobia.

I don't blame China for making such announcement banning Muslim fasting. You Muslims scream violation of human right while committing the worst atrocities - violation of the fundamental rights to speech and life. This is not to mention the fact that Muslims in Xinjiang have been known to carry out terrorist acts in the past which may explain the reason for the ban on this Muslim activity, an act by the Chinese government to underscore the point that they're in control of their lands and Muslims will never come into their region to perpetrate crimes against humanity without repercussion.

Believe it or not your church has many great acting talents.

Nothing new under the sun. One thing I know, many pastors are leading the way to hell fire.

jude2011:
I spoke with an atheist last month. I thought this guy was a demon but after my discussion with him, I was forced to have a rethink. He was brilliant,confident and argued with reasons. I have asked many christian brothers and even my pastor about the questions he raised. All they could say is that the ways of God is not the ways of man. One even said that asking such questions will amount to questioning God and that I will go to hell if I keep asking such questions. I did a lot of research on the questions on the internet and using my bible. There are many contradictions in the bible. Noah's ark, Jonah surviving three days in the belly of a big fish, without food,water and the digestive system of the fish went dead. Haba!!!! I also followed the post of many atheist on nairaland and I found there arguements logical and valid. I think I am gradually doubting religion. I don't go to church anymore and also, I am beginning to doubt the bible. My family is a highly religious one. My mother is a deaconess in my church. I am confused, I don't want to be an atheist but I am gradually becoming one. Religion does not appeal to me anymore. I NEED HELP, I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ATHEIST.

No matter how logical, well articulated and convincing the argument it will always bow in the face of experience. Don't need to say much. Google The Thomas Welch Story and Ian Mccormack's testimony. They were once atheists until.... Read their experiences. You'll find them interesting.

As an addition, there are many things God has kept from our knowledge for our safety and wellbeing so that we should trust completely in him even if it seems foolish to do so.

Op, to answer your question, God forgave them but made them understand the consequences of sin - death.

Chinaimporter, na wa u o. Na vex be this?

He should not relent in his prayers. Help is on the way.

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Where is yellowbar state?

Guy, I'm an Igbo guy but this will get us nowhere. Please let's stop tribalism. It is a cancer that eats the soul of the nation.


*Modified*

@ topic

Who says Buhari is not working? The very first time in decades Nigeria is blessed with a Leader. This is indeed the change we've always dreamed of but never seen until now.

Op, why raise this issue from the grave? What vested interest do you have in this case?

When people don't learn to think before they talk leave them to stew in the consequences of their actions. Is Dr Ariyo your husband or father or sibling or relation or close friend? Why rise to his defense?

I hope you know that comments like the one he made are capable of plunging a nation into a spell darkness of hatred and wars and bloodshed. Is that what you want?

Nigerians, Igbos and yorubas and hausas, have strongly condemned his tribalistic comments. If he doesn't feel the heat of his words, he will most probably repeat his actions tomorrow, and who knows it may engender the killings and strife and bloodshed he had in mind when he first made those comments. Say No to Tribalism.

On another note, stop fanning to flame this e-tribal wars between Igbos and Yorubas. Stop living the life of a hypocrite because I now you must have Igbo friends and neighbours who you hang out with or go to for help or something, unless you're an island with everything you need in this life.

Enough is Enough. Try to make comments without attaching sentiments in order to make sense. Look at people and judge them on the basis of what they do and not on the basis of the language they speak.

Begin to think differently from the crowd, then you'll begin to see farther than others.

989900:
I get your drift (from a logical and moral perspective).

OTOH, that explanation would not be tenable in a competent court of law; unless it can be proven that, the girl willingly/subliminally agreed to a 4some.

Same way a person can be prosecuted for violently forcing a drink down your throat in a bar against your will. Yes, your folks might chastise you for going there in the first place, but in a court of law, it's a different 'ball game'.

True, but how does the trial of rape suspects remove the stigma and emotional trauma of the rape experience? It lasts FOREVER...unforgettable. That guy is right. Prevention is better than sacrifice.

Never be found with guys in lonely places or in their den of crime. Do yourself the good of not falling a victim to their insatiable libido is my message to ladies.

SocialRecluse:
You are not blaming the victim, but by focusing only on the girl and completely neglecting to condemn the heinous act, you are subtly enabling your gender folk.

You are subtly saying 'Yea, we are men', 'We have no self control', 'We answer to nobody', 'Beware of us' 'If we admire you, don't come near us or we'll pounce on you'

I can hear you loud and clear.

Selective interpretation. Why is it that when well meaning guys warn you to stay away from their fellow wicked men and blame you for not heeding their warning you interpret it in terms of sex aggrandizement or ego bloating?

standd:
YES! In Nigeria, the girl should be blamed for visiting her FRIEND. She is a SLUT, she is SILLY, she is FISH-BRAINED. She deserves to be RAPED and BLAMED because she is a Nigerian woman who lives in Nigeria.

Are we done here?

***
As for the Hypocrites called men, I hope you know that your MOTHERS, SISTERS and female relatives also experience one form of abuse of the other, but they can not talk about it so that they will not be shamed...

This is the story of your lives.

This has nothing to do with blaming the rape victim. Have you noticed that rape cases have been on a geometric rise for some years now which prompted the past senate to pass the life imprisonment bill for rapists this year where the crime usually attracted 14 years to 21 years as felony in the past?

How has mankind survived this long inspite of the hazards of living, the natural disasters, the sweeping fatal contagious diseases that ravage mankind from time to time, the large scale wars, the religious clashes, cult activities resulting in the death of many, terrorism, etc etc? Why are we still surviving when we should have been wiped out of existence long ago? The answer is ADAPTATION.

We adapt. This is our greatest survival skill. When circumstances threaten us, our happiness, our lives, we seek new values and ideas or patterns to replace the old ones which help us in resisting the threat. We adapt to a new lifestyle that is adequate for the survival of our specie. What used to work in the past is never guaranteed to always work in the future. We change with the times. Anybody who refuses to adapt becomes a meal for the existing threat. This is why I blame a person for falling victim - refusing to adapt.

In the same vein, by now ladies should have adapted to a new lifestyle with the fast growing crime of rape in the country and in the world. They should abandon the I-trust-him attitude and replace it with the he-is-capable-of-anything attitude. Times have changed, so must we. A girl going to a guy's house in the past may have been harmless but with the rate of crime from such action today, it is highly stupid and unwise to even attempt it and that is where the blame comes in.

A long time ago, one of my sisters, a cousin, confided in me and narrated an ordeal she went through in the hands of a blind date. The guy's ungentlemanly actions showed her that his only intentions were to get under her skirt whether she approved or not, and that in public! I blamed her because I had always told her men are evil and never to be trusted. She was sooooo lucky they met at a public place. Needless to say she learnt her lesson.

The moral of this story - adapt or be victimised.

I hate all this cock and bull stories! Moderators, stop pushing rape stories to front page!

Na wa o! This is what happens when nonsense becomes common sense. In this age when girls suppose don get sense say make dem no dey go man house even if na angel sef dem no wan hear. Men are beasts. You don't go to the den of a beast. You stay away from the perimeter of a beast.

No. They will have none of it. They go to get raped but come out to scream rape. What hypocrites!

Trust? Trust my foot! A fool trusting a hungry lion by visiting it to keep it company is a damned fool.

What do you girls even want sef that you cannot do without going to a man's house? What? Why can't you stay in your home and be safe than sorry?

Seun, Lalasticlala, other moderators, filter the number of rape reports making the front page per week. This is really getting sickening. Keep it to the barest minimum. If girls will not listen despite the thousands and thousands of very similar rape cases reported every month all over the world past and present, then let them be raped if it will make them have common sense!

There are unfortunate rape victims my heart goes out to but there are the idiotic rape victims who when they have nothing to do go to a guy's house to be raped. In fact, right now many girls are being raped in their 'trusted' male friends houses as we speak. Idiots!

Ladies...always on the receiving end of human vices and love turned sour. Dating a white or black is not the problem. The problem is dating the wrong person. This has proved fatal over and over and over again through history to the present going to the future.

There are ladies that am so proud of, the ladies that don't make a selection on the sole basis of love. I'm not talking about the gold diggers. The ladies I'm talking about are those that are very much aware of the dangers of making a wrong selection by following their feelings of love because they know love is a great deceiver; it never tells you that guy is:

a serial rapist,

a ritualist looking for woman body parts or virgins,

an unrepentant heart breaker,

a polygamist to the blood,

a violent wife/girlfriend beater by nature,

a player who only sees you as a fresh game

a cool and charming murderer,

a full time psycho/dangerous stalker,

a dangerous misogynist out to kill ladies/women,

and a lazy, irresponsible good looking waste of a fellow seeking to trap a gullible or naïve lady into a parasitic relationship.


Love will not tell you all these because love is very deceptive. Love hides the evil and displays only the glittering aspects of that guy. Who in his right senses will meet a blind man to show him the way when he or she is not blind? Sadly, that's what ladies do. They let love lead the way, love that is as blind as a bat which is why it is never able to detect the wrong and dangerous and life threatening aspects of others.

Not playing down the importance of love but it should be the last factor to consider among 20 or 30 factors, that is, if you want a happy future.

I apologise for long post but had to get this off my chest.

The days are evil, ladies. Go after good men, not good looking men. Go after men who are wealthy in kindness and unselfish love, not selfish men who are materially wealthy.


#Drops pen

raayah:
OP , hope you realize that ISIS members mostly kill MUSLIMS.

this is a completely made-up story .

Nawa o. Even for broad daylight you still dey lie. I salute u.

Cutehector:
I pirry yall mehn..

The op's well endowed sis and every boy girl raped by Catholic priests need your pirry, not me.

Cutehector:
U guys r just crazy..... Thinkn nonsense... Some people even think weda Jesus ddnt even hav girlfriends...

Mister, that gal is on a long tin if she takes up that assignment. Once she steps into that house the devil will begin to minister to the Reverend daily until in the end the Reverend's only excuse will be, "The Devil made me do it."

Avoidable tragedy

chuna1985:
No No and capital NO.

For the past 10 years, I've seen n heard about this kind of thing happening in Yoruba land. Its just too much bro.

See, just take a look at every region in Nigeria. We all suffer different problems or say evil reputation from the actions of others and as such, we cannot judge a whole tribe simply because of the actions of few. Bro, this is a plea for peace. Let people be judged and suffer for their evil actions, not their tribe.

Please, Nigeria can only get better if we change our attitude towards each other. It begins with just one person. There's nothing better than living in unity with our neighbours, North, West and South.

I have tasted enmity with others and I have tasted peace, and take it from me peace is much much better and fulfilling.

One day, bro, I hope you also come to this realisation.

chuna1985:
can somebody from South West(preferably Ogun) explain to me why Ogun is like a ritual hub in Nigeria ooo.

THIS IS THE HEIGHT.

bro, even though e-tribal wars on nairaland did not start with us, let us be the reason it comes to an end. We're much better than that. Besides, no matter as we may try to deny it, whatever tragedy the North or West suffers the East also suffers. That's the result of having lived together for 100 years now. Hope you understand my point.

When will this failed programme called NYSC be finally scrapped? The numerous deaths of NYSC members serving in other states could easily have been avoided. How many more should be sacrificed to this useless scheme before the government realises its importance has been long dead?

Death sentence should be another matter that should be looked into for rapists. This is just too much for Chrissakes! Rapists deserve No 1 among the top 10 worst cases of death in the history of mankind. I recommend death by execution of any of the 1001 Ways To Die.

nkemdi89:
My friend confirm or refute my point and don't tell me to shut up cos we are not in your monthly family meeting they always end in chaos, if you follow the story of cynthia along the line that element of greed was also present cos I see no reason why you should enter a transaction with someone you have no background info about. After being deceived of a cheaper offer or rather the pretty discount, thereby mixing business with pleasure. Any serious business minded person dealing with a stranger wouldn't go alone in a hotel room being paid by them, go back to the story and remove sentiment please, mind you before any crime can be fixed it needs to be diagonised or better still the causative factor has to be identified.

absolutely making sense post.

Bflexing:
Give it up for another I.D.I.O.T in the building!!

Oh now you know what it feels like to be labeled tribalistically on account of the deeds of others. Hypocrite. You have no problem cutting others with your bigoted tongues but scream in intolerable pain when you receive the same treatment from others. Bigot.

fellis:
@Op,
Try again to talk to your husband, let him understand how important kissing is to your relationship.
Sit him down when he is in a good mood, be playful about it and present your case in a loving non threatening manner.
Hopefully he will see reason and change

But if he insists on being a disgusting sadist homosexual, selfish asshole and tries to deprive you of an important part of intimacy then by all means cheat on him.
Cheat wella, to your hearts content.
Go back to your ex and do all manner of tongue gymnastics with him, french kissing, german kissing, italian kissing etc. But guard your infidelity with your life.
Make sure hubby never finds out.
All the best!

Ps, if you decide to go for option 2 then don't feel guilty about it at all. Men are selfish cu^nts that won't hesitate to cheat on you if you deprive them of any kind of intimacy.

Madam, for your mind now you think you can guard infidelity successfully. It were better you divorced him to be free to practice every kind of kissing gymnastic with your ex or other men than do it under the umbrella/institution of marriage. You're playing with serious deadly, poisonous, lethal fire. Your type is the reason why many good men are serving jail term for murder.