₦airaland Forum

DonColz1: Nice story, but i need 20 signs that can put millions into my bank account without working atall..

Primuskay: I dnt seem 2 concentrate.i ve trid 2 stop beggin,i cant.ve gone as far as deletin d pixs nd fone numbes 4rm ma fone.bt it didnt work,i c ma self longin 4 him every day

bjprodint: dont tink u are d only guy doing d chase,i dont eva tink am overdoing it cos am priceless,any man who want me must work,if u get tired doing ur work u are fired!,the most hardworking guy gets a reward.

mazizi tonene: Poor lad....
As if I knew....first 2.........#nice!......oya bak 2 d matter...abeg dey shud do sumtn 4 him

Stegomiah: It sounds like the stuff of nightmares - but Guy Whittall will certainly be checking for 'monsters' underneath his bed, after waking up to find an eight foot crocodile hiding just inches from where he slept.

The 330lbs giant had sneaked into the Humani lodge, Zimbabwe and spent the entire night lying quietly, just fractions beneath an oblivious Mr Whittall.

The beast - a Nile crocodile - had managed to stay hidden for more than eight hours overnight.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/17/article-2423311-1BDF0E59000005DC-591_634x480.jpg

The following morning Mr Whittall - a former Zimbabwean cricketer -  had even perched on the edge of his bed, with his feet dangling over the edge, just inches from the crocodile's face, as he organised his day.

But the 40-year-old remained oblivious to his uninvited guest and was only alerted when he was enjoying some breakfast in the kitchen and heard the petrified screams of a housemaid.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/17/article-2423311-1BDF0E28000005DC-689_634x489.jpg

Mr Whittall, who is a director at Humani, ran back to his room and was horrified to discover the enormous crocodile nestled under his bed.

He said: 'The really disconcerting thing about the whole episode is the fact that I was sitting on the edge of the bed that morning, bare foot and just centimetres away from the croc.

'Crocodiles are experts at hiding, that's why they have survived on Earth for so long and why they are the ultimate killers in water.
They know how to keep quiet and go unnoticed, it's in their nature.

'The crocodile came from the Turgwe River which is a couple of kilometres from the house.

'They often wander about the bush especially when it's cold and raining. I think he liked it under the bed because it was warm.'

He was forced to call in some of his co-workers who helped remove the crocodile from its new lair and release him back into Humani's Chigwidi dam.

Mr Whittall said: 'Of course he resisted being roped and hauled out from under the bed, that's only natural.

'Catching and securing a croc of any size on land though is a fairly straight forward affair and we are experienced in that.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/17/article-2423311-1BDF0E68000005DC-983_634x352.jpg

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/17/article-2423311-1BDF0F44000005DC-249_634x489.jpg

The only real danger is getting bitten because it can't drown you.

'The most important thing is to get its snout roped and secured and then it's just a matter of restraining it and covering its eyes, to calm it down.

'Bigger crocs require more manpower obviously though. When roped they thrash around frantically and are extremely powerful.

'I just remember thinking "goodness gracious, that's one for the books".

'I'm pretty sure everyone in Humani checks under their bed before going to sleep now anyway.'

but soon the creature was released back into his natural habitat, where he happily swam away

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/09/17/article-2423311-1BDF0E18000005DC-191_634x449.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2423311/Man-40-finds-8ft-crocodile-hidden-bed-spent-entire-night-just-inches-slept.html

Tolexander: Peter proposed to Lola with a brand new car, Paul proposed to Anita with just a hug or what?

MizEmerald: U people should realize dat not every girl ask for things,i have a father and on my own am sort of independent,but it sucks wen ur guy takes this for granted.What i asked him for is something i've been doing for myself for d past one year,but its sometimes nice wen he offers to do somethings for u,u'll not only feel loved but u'll feel special.U get me now.

buffenuff: Hello if u are reading this post, I'm planning a surprise holiday for the gf and propose to her as well. I have heard of people proposing on airplanes and it sounds romantic and I have watched movies where men propose on the empire state building. I will love to take her to america but.... so anyway I decided dubai aint that bad, at least its better than 9ja. I love this chick, I have known her since the 90s, i had a crush on her then but i was a shy teenager then so we were just just friends and I kept my lust to myself. We lost contact and got in touch last year on fb. We were in different countries but one thing led to the other and we were in the same country. She has a good job, she's good in bed, she's funny, she's my wifey.

Anyway which is better to propose on the plane or on tour a round town.

Help!!!

Monicasque: Most girl's dream. Marriage , wedding etc . Well i am 26,have a good job and i am planning on taking my studies to another level after next year ( in 2015 when i will be 28) because for this year and next year i wana sort out my finances properly. My boyfriend and i were friends for a year before he made a move and we have been together for a year as well. I have cheated on him and i later realised that i was doing him wrong so i changed my ways. Now just on sunday he did what most girls would be happy for. He got down on his knee and presented a modest ring and ask for my hand in marriage.Ohh my goshh i was sooo happy and accepted immediately but now i am scared. The whole of yesterday i have been thinking about what marriage means and to be honest i am scared. I do not mind living my home and go into his home and do all wifely duties but there is one thing that brings fear to me.Pregnancy. I am scared of the whole 9months, morning sickness, my body changing and the labour pains. Ohh my word. I so love kids but i am scared of the whole pregnancy and labour thing and us being Africans and knowing what kids mean to us makes me scared that i will not be the wife he is expecting. Please guys is this normal, are my fears justified? what can i do now coz he is good man but i am scared of disapointing me but my health means more to me

onila:

you won't get to work, u will just stay home and look pretty

all hail the hard working Nigerian man!!

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/cm/harpersbazaar/images/RL/trophy-wife-george-hamilton-1209-04-de.jpg

Austeenxx: Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha!




I hope the boyfriend's father is Kanayo O Kanayo!?

kinxlee: Just as it was in FIFA13, Nigeria is missing from national teams in FIFA14 despite winning AFCON, another notable omission is japan, what could possibly have gone wrong? Is it because Nigeria still does not have a starting 11 yet(building process) or is it our woefull performance in the past years that is still keeping us away from it?

kinxlee: Just as it was in FIFA13, Nigeria is missing from national teams in FIFA14 despite winning AFCON, another notable omission is japan, what could possibly have gone wrong? Is it because Nigeria still does not have a starting 11 yet(building process) or is it our woefull performance in the past years that is still keeping us away from it?

SIR KOL!:
Tins time End!!!

biggiyke: I bought my first car in March 2011, a 2007 Accord. In December 2011, i drove home (Aba) for the first time from Lagos. Just after Benin bye-pass, an old man waved at me, signalling a problem with one of my right side wheels. I ignored him, but a few metres later, another man waved me in the same frantic motion. As a first time driver on that road, I had no inkling what was in store for me. I pulled over at an abandoned filling-station, walked around checking my tires only to find the right front tire oozing white smoke. It was also very hot. I panicked.

Some children selling some stuff beside directed me to a "mechanic" some metres back. He checked & proclaimed that the shaft bearing on that wheel had disintegrated resulting in grease leaking onto the disc. He said I should better hurry otherwise the car will sleep over there or be towed back to Benin or Agbor. See gobe!! This car must get to Aba today o. People are waiting to see God's blessing in my life . I have to get to Aba in daylight so all my neighbours will see me arrive in style. I pleaded with him to help me in any possible way he could. He made some calls to a "spare parts dealer" in Benin who said it was 40k for both front bearings. I pleaded & pleaded for a reduction in price. Besides, it was almost 3pm. I never reach Asaba sef.

After much persuasion which included pleading with the "seller" to have mercy on a fellow Ibo brother, we settled for 36k. In less than 10 minutes, the parts arrived. I had never seen a shaft bearing before so they could have shown me a bicycle bearing for all I cared. The "mechanic" & his boy fiddled around the wheels for a few minutes & I was declared good to go. Meanwhile, I knew I didnt have up to 36k on me but I just let them fix it before I told them I had only 30k on me. I promised to send the balance as soon as I get to Aba. After some fake resistance, he agreed and we exchanged numbers. He asked me to send the balance in recharge cards.

Unfortunately, I arrived Aba quite late so I couldnt show off my ride till the next morning . I even called the punk when i arrived thanking him & pouring blessings on him for helping & trusting a stranger. The guy just said, "Abeg no forget to send my balance". The following day I sent 6k in recharge cards across to him as promised.

On my way back to Lagos some days later, I even stopped to greet him. The bubble burst in Lagos when I narrated my ordeal to my mechanic. He said there was no way a shaft bearing could be replaced without completely removing the entire wheel assembly. I felt so stupid. He said at some point during my journey, a lubricant (grease or condemned oil) was poured onto my right front wheel. I figure this must have happened when I stopped over to eat at Benin. With high speed braking, the lubricant started smoking which is what I saw initially.

Well, I have learnt my lessons & as an experienced driver on that route, they cant try such shit on me again. I still see them make such frantic pull-over gestures every time I drive past. i simply give them the finger. Once bitten, twice shy.

valmunich: So how that one take affect ASUU strike?!?

Kirinwa: As a caring nairalander,my advice to our single sisters is treat any man who approaches you nicely and respectfully.
Guys can you imagine approaching a lady to say hi and she's looking at you like you're ALIEN!Jeez.Some of them are architects of their own misfortune.I have discovered most times ladies hang out with playboys and sacrifice the future for a few meatpies or fried chicken while ignoring more serious guys who they consider boring without even giving them a chance.

joshua55: Waat....dis is madness....tank God I didn't say END TIME TINZ b4 dey will say I said it

Exponental: @op, As d case is, he has 3 options.
Masturbate, cheat on u or u give him d satisfaction he desires.
Pls choose for him.

yinkard4me: he said dey came for his aboki babe... and Wia re d end tym crew wen u need dem on a thread.

nasbock: am a SCAMMER, RIGht? you not involve so keep shut ur stinking dirty mouth:


MY WORKS SPEAK FOR ME OK.

Mindependent: I am very attracted to guys that are very er...dominant and in a way, bad. Say, abusive, treat you like a posession, jealous, aggressive- IN and OUT the bedroom.

I have been in an abusive relationship and even though I know its wrong and dangerous, It used to excite me when I was threatened or attacked.

I know its really bad, but its the only thing that seems to excite me, like if a guy i like just grabs my wrists or pulls/pushes me against something or tells me what to do it really turns me on (outside the bedroom).

I also have dreams where Im my partners posession and he has full control of my life.

I get really bored of 'normal' guys if they dont seem to have this controlling/possessive streak. I dont know how to break the cycle and its hard to seek out these sorts of guys as its not really something you admit is it.

Is this normal?

Ive also always had a fear of men since I was very young (though im not sure why) but i used to be terrified of older men.

Mindependent: I am very attracted to guys that are very er...dominant and in a way, bad. Say, abusive, treat you like a posession, jealous, aggressive- IN and OUT the bedroom.

I have been in an abusive relationship and even though I know its wrong and dangerous, It used to excite me when I was threatened or attacked.

I know its really bad, but its the only thing that seems to excite me, like if a guy i like just grabs my wrists or pulls/pushes me against something or tells me what to do it really turns me on (outside the bedroom).

I also have dreams where Im my partners posession and he has full control of my life.

I get really bored of 'normal' guys if they dont seem to have this controlling/possessive streak. I dont know how to break the cycle and its hard to seek out these sorts of guys as its not really something you admit is it.

Is this normal?

Ive also always had a fear of men since I was very young (though im not sure why) but i used to be terrified of older men.

Gracedpen: In case you missed 12 shocking habits of Nigerian ladies, click here

Alright people...thought it was worthwhile to add the male version of shocking habits Nigerians are proud of. You asked for it, and now you have it...!

NOTE: Not all Nigerian guys are engaged in these bad habits; some are much respectable and disciplined too...but actually, a good crop of them do some of these things without thinking them to be anything at all... Let's branch on...!

1. Taking time to rotate pictures of beautiful women on their DPs without ever deeming it fit to upload theirs.
2. Urinating everywhere and anywhere, including beside the road.
3. Forgetting to have their bath on weekends, public holidays and after sports.
4. Keeping bushy armpits, staining their shirts with sweat...and still offering a protective hug...yuck!

5. Drooling and staring at women, especially when they pass by or are seated next to them.
6. Bragging about any little accomplishment...their fathers' houses, fathers' cars- most times, accomplishments that are never theirs. The funny one is when they go as far as bragging about a celebrity or sports person...you'd hear something like; "Dbanj, that guy is bad! He has this, he has that...mehn....!..." And they go on and on and on as if the person in question is their elder brother.
7. Wearing dirty and smelly stockings. If some guys remove their legs from their shoes...oh, goodness...you'd feel like throwing up! Singlets and boxers are also worn for days and indeed, weeks!
8. Staying glued to their gadgets, especially computer games. Some guys are so addicted that they play till their thumbs hurt from the game pads, only for them to add plaster and still continue with the game...highly irrational!
9. Bringing a spoon when another guy is eating and joining in without permission, all in the name of "my guy"!
10. Taking pride in carefree and self-done electrical connections....wires joined with wires with no sort of taping or soldering. As long as it can conduct electricity, any connection does not necessarily have to be decent.
11. Having no definition of personal property...an average guy can share even a toothbrush!
12. Killing themselves over football and its induced arguments...worse still, attaching themselves possessively to foreign football clubs and saying words like "We have bought Mikel Obi" as if Chelsea coach knows they exist...!

Guy, I hope some of these things are not true of you o...lol!

SOURCE: http://www.tutubranch.com/2013/08/bad-habits-Nigerian-guys.html

BedLam: He was not dead, this is the same thing that happened to jeez_us after he was beaten to coma by Jews......... Was there any clinical confirmation of his death? Autopsy? I Piss on you!

Rastamann: Who care? Make she go die if she wan die na!

Chief Tapioca: Dude is wearing a red cap...

We know where he's from...

ritux: I have always been and still a big D'banj fan, but I must say that I have not been to impress with his songs. On a scale of 1-10, I had rate his DKM album 6/10 and to be partial 7/10.

I am also a fan of Jazzy but the love cannot be compared with that of Dbanj. Since their divorce, I have not been to impressed with the beatz of the song he has produced except for WC's The Kick which I will rate 6/10 or 7/10 because of those badt damn-ass in the video (menh I love those as$. God endowed some ladies sha). For the solar plexus album, I had rate it 5/10. Unlike the D'banj/Jazzy songs, I hardly hear those songs in the club.

My verdict: In all aspects, Dbanj is doing much better than Jazzy and the Mavin crew. Nevertheless, they still need each other Dbanj and Jazzy. But I doubt if they will come back anytime soon.

chromoTop: who dash monkey banana?

Ogbeche77: Hmmm.. Don't know what to believe, cos he get as Nigeria police go take torture innocent man, he go confess say na in kill Idi Amin

church Agbasa: Am i missing something,Of all regions in the country why did the Boko boy choose to hide in the South West?