₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
what do u think is d cause for dese ladies not to be maRried at dat age

bukatyne:
Trust NL male hypocrites to be here

See How lessons on forgiveness and vow keeping are flying left, right centre.

I am trying to remember who coined the phrase... never make a hoe an housewife. Who would be kind enough to remind me?

Is This not a case of don't make a dog a husband

Bloody bloody hypocrites

@OP:

The first step is confronting your husband. Anyhow you like.
Perhaps This talking here helps you better.

Goodluck with whatever decision you make.

Cheers.

Thank you all.
I really appreciate your prayers and your support. And thank you to everybody who put a word of support or prayer for me.

And to everybody who mailed me, you can still contact me there as I am deactivating this profile. And I have your numbers too so I can call. Im not in the frame of mind to put any further information here for e-people to pat themselves on the back and gloat over.

Like I said, he that is down needs fear no fall. I cannot fall further than I have. It simply cannot be worse than it is. Yes, I know. The STI tests and all. I will do them. If fine, then good. If not, then this is the card Ive been dealt and I have no choice than to live my life as healthily as I can.

I only needed to vent till I take
a step and I have. Mission accomplished. For now.

At most, I resign and I leave Nigeria. Perfect opportunity to chase my other dreams. I start a new life. And he can too.
People have done it and people will still do it. If that is what happens, then fine! I'm OK with it.

It will only be a new phase of life which I will adapt to.

So regardless of what anyone here or anywhere says or does. This does not define me. I did nothing wrong in this case.
And when all has been said or done, I WILL BE FINE!!

moca:
Nne oma,thanks for asking after me.
I dey,dey swing left and right

brownie10:
He uses it more often. I have my own which I prefer using since I am very sensitive.

Yesterday night, my whole body was itching. Hives broke out all over my face.
Every thing is really affecting me badly. Inside.

Due to my body type, I am so meticulous about my body and what goes inside it that I just cant believe he was busy sticking his d!k in all these girls and came to stick it in me too.
I feel violated because I cannot open my legs for any other man. I just cant.

Even though he used a condom and all and even changed the condom in-between.


Which makes me remember, one of the times he changed the girl in the dark video was like: E no go tear. see you. I dey take care of myself pass you. Na by condom? After this, I go take ampiclox.

Imagine! Imagine the dirty, local, uneducated, prostituting PIG!!

firstEVA:
aren't you taking it too far?

brownie10:
In the other video, the girl comes into view wrapped in our towel. He asks her if she was ok and she sat beside him and nodded. Next, he pulled off the towel and they started. Almost 27 minutes of different styles and positions (just like the first).

Then she lay on the seat with the towel over her breathing heaavily like the PIG she is. Dirty pig with dirty armpits!!

When she was getting dressed, he asked her to chill a bit, that he wanted to go pick up some things from town that instead of dropping her and coming to the house and leaving again, that they should both leave at once. That since she had closed from work. I didnt hear her reply.

But wait for this. The basta! took his phone and dialed me! Telling me he called to check on me and I should let him know when I get home.

Hmmmmmmnnn, be still my poor heart.

Delary:
COCOCANDY, ABEG NO BE QUARREL NA ADVICE DEM SAY MAKE U GIVE U HEAR ME SO!!

Delary:
please house, Keep d advice rolling in. u guys are wonderfull. ur contributions has been amazingly helpfull. my friend is just amazed that what she could do b4 she cant do now even b4 she got preg. but instead wants d man to be doing sweeping & laundry while she concentrates on cooking.my friend is finding it difficult to adjust owing to d fact that she never wanted him to do dat. but tank God for does who said it was her reverage to assume d matrimonial home. n now she has achieved it. d true colour is out. it is left for my friend to look for ways to solve the lingering crisis. tgreat thank u to my teeming contributors haters please take it easy wit me n contribute meaningfully!!!!!!! AM STILL WAITING

Jeezuzpick:
You know Wzkid, Yes?

Does the fact that you know him make him Iconic?

Dan Maraya was a Musical Icon!

Next time just write "RIP".

Onegai:
For all those explaining away this man's adultery and foolishness in cheating AND videotaping it (in these days where trashy blogs are looking for gist to fill up their columns)...

That is Nigerian Morality 101, titled "Personal Responsibility Is Not Something You Need In Your Life". Because they sway the bible to read that God forgives you without having to be remorseful (permanent Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card), it is not and will never be your fault for doing anything (so you never have to accept you messed up) and the wronged person has to do all the work to fix things, your job is to siddon-look and send bible passages their way to encourage them.

This mentality is why inspite of having 10 churches per any major street in any large city in the country, we cannot even transact honest business or trust the next person with our N1,000 note. This is why the entire country is crippled by problems that make no sense. This is why the average successful Nigerian business that is very big requires a foreigner to be in it, because the Nigerians there don't trust themselves.

If you cannot look in your wife's eyes, your children's eyes, your husband's eyes, if you cannot have the moral courage to look people whom you have hurt in their eyes and say "I did wrong, I have no-one to blame but me, I am sorry and I will do everything to fix this", then you cannot do that at work, in church or with your peers in society. In your personal life, you are giving yourself excuses for every shortcoming, is it in your professional life you will go on to be great and noble?

And that is why Nigeria is the country we see it to be right now.

focus7, please highlight the fact that you struggled and wept to God to lead you from the path of immorality, that God gave your wife the grace to stay with you whilst He worked on your life but the most important aspect was that YOU, YOU were willing to change from your ways first. Because I think a lot of people need to see that message clearly.

Onegai:
[b]Hmm. Honestly, trying to fix a cheating husband is not your job. Men constantly preach that "it shouldn't be your husband's job to make you happy or make him dependent on making you happy" so why is it your job to fix his mistakes, when is his personal responsibility going to come into play? If he feels no responsibility towards what he did and you rush about trying to fix things continually (like most women), he'll probably do it again. So, here's what to do: think short-term.

Delay for a few days. You need to calm down. Whether or not you decide to leave, calm down at first for now so you can make logical decisions. If you leave, you want to exit in a dignified manner. If you stay, you want a plan and he has to work very hard.

Lock the kitchen door (you want to keep all weapons away,as in your madness and righteous anger, you could easily get physical. Because if I were you, I wouldn't realise a knife was in my hand until it's late. I'm being realistic). Get a HDMI cable or tell him you want to show him something, sit beside him and play the videos. Say nothing, let it play and walk out and lock yourself in another room that night to sleep in. That night is not the night to be arguing or hearing pleas or anything.

The next day, listen to him and what he has to say for himself.

Remember, he has jeopardised your marriage, it is up to him to fix it. It's up to you to let the process happen. It is not your place to be rescuing him, because I have 5 brothers and yep I'm married and I'm super-smart and independent, yet none of those men in my life appreciate me overdoing it and trying to rescue them or tell them what to do or make excuses for them. Infact, the more you overdo it and make excuses for his bad behaviour, the more the man goes from guilt to anger to blaming you (he is human so he is trying to make himself feel better and one of those ways will be "it was your fault, you didn't pleasure me the way I like, I have needs you don't meet, blah blah". Sure, you may end up together, but you will constantly have it at the back of your mind that you're not good enough for him and that is a lie. And your marriage will never be fulfilling and you will always regret it. And he will know you do.

I will recommend not trying to fix your marriage by getting pregnant or letting him do so or urge you to do so (some people feel once children come, the wife will "settle" down and the marriage improves. This is not true, it will only become like 90% of Naija marriages, where the only thing keeping them together is their children and what-will-people-say.).

If he wants to be the man and head of the house, the CEO of his family, he needs to fix this. If you fix this, then you're in charge, which is not always a bad thing but then again that depends on what you had in mind for how your marriage will look like.

Don't tell your mum, not yet. You and I both know what she will advise you to do[/b]

sexymamatee:
for we wives we spend most of our days working, cooking, working out, taking care of the family. And, still after all dis, "our husband still expect us to perform d conjugal rite anytime anyday"“
It’s enough to make us curl up in bed and cry, “headache, tired, backpain.”

but all d same we still need to make sure dat wen ever we r bin called upon we r available and not making flimsy excuses dat will chase our husbands away.

But so doing we also satisfy our husbands

frosbel:
Because it is not only an African problem, it is a world wide plague.....

frosbel:
The United Kingdom is worse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132884/750-000-British-men-want-sex-children-Shock-new-abuse-statistics.html

Onegai:
Until Nigeria becomes sane (which is most likely never), I'm buying a gun. At least I can get access to the gun range in Ogun state.

What kind of sick sociopath tells an 11 year old girl "I'm sure you were enjoying it"?? What do you want to teach that person, decency or logic?? Where do you start from?

What sort of demon possesses a human being, that once they put on a police uniform in Nigeria, decency, common-sense, fairmindedness and anything that is positive, leaves their minds? They will shoot you over N50 bribe but let a child molester walk free and treat the victim like she caused it herself. How can someone blame the parent of a raped 9 year old for not talking money and as to the parents of that animal that offered N40,000 to make the crime go away, may your lives be crippled and shortened and only hellfire awaits you. I believe jungle justice is the way forward as no-one in Nigeria cares about the law.

joseph1832:
Are you sure?. I've seen cases of young males shouting that they were molested by older females and people shun them.

Roland17:
I am very convinced that whenever death calls, he would die a fulfilled and happy man, too many folks take life way to serious,they are yet to discover their true personality thus live false lives and the personalities of others..

Happy Birthday Charlieee.

all4naija:
You are welcome. Yeah, I do that a lot! Did you attend any cook course or something?

all4naija:
I think you are a good cook. Your man must be very lucky indeed. I don't wanna get fat though.

joseph1832:
I shouldn't surprise you, does who commit such offense act as if they have no recollection of what they did, that's why I spoke of giving her a taste of her own medicine just as a dose of reminding her that your memory is still intact!.

Yes he should, but I will still tell you that people will focus more on the females who got molested than the males!.

joseph1832:
You heard what Timpaker said didn't you?.

timpaker:

[b]You're right. At age 13 I was molested by our landlady's daughter(then who as at that time around 32 years of age) in Mushin, Lagos, and when I told my aunt she simply brushed it aside and after much admittance she called me "ashewo".

I was scarred to tell my mum cuz she wouldn't believe me either.

Few years down the line, I bumped into her at the airport with 3 beautiful girls and that nostalgic feeling of plea "aunty Ronke abeg na" just rang in my ears and at that moment I wish her girls could hear them too.

She didn't even apologise.

Up till today, I don't feel comfortable sitting close to women to any woman older than me (not even my momma).

Last year October, my little cousin (a boy) was molested by a female corper in F.G.C. Kwali and instead of the school to act on his complaint they suspended him for lying on a "Teacher".


The fact is this stuff happens to us male bbut the way ours is bn handled is very different from the ladies. The female get more sympathy than the male[/b]

joseph1832:
Yet you don't see us complaining about it!. Or appealing for sentiments from all and sundry!.