₦airaland Forum

Lol
You can dance o

edwife:
Now that how you make an entrance to your Bday....

https://25.media.tumblr.com/eeee2374ff49a624e8fb8f1aedae7be3/tumblr_mj6597admO1qa45uio6_250.gif






Thank you so much Efemenaxy you are such a sweet sister.I really appreciate what you did here,bless you girl and love you plenty!

edwife:
Now this is cool and touching!

Thank you Coco de moi ,you are sweet .Thank your friends for me all the way from USA to London,i am blessed.

you deserve it
More even

Happy birthday edwife.
My sister from another mother.

Much love from coco and friends

and many blessings to you.


We made a poster card for you down here.
Don't mind our non-artistic handwriting

Good job @OP

Platnum1:
Forget abt part two, go down on ur knees and pray for your home. They say the first few months/years of a marriage comes wit too many challenges. Pray,u need it.

pray for what to happen?

@coogar why surprised?
if you say the one that makes sense I'll agree na.

Stay there and die first.
Your ghost will come and finish the story.

Hei

Ibiakwa. Ichoro igbu mmadu on this thread?

Anyway not hating on any tribe but it's cool to call nonsense when you see it.
Like that Troy guy was on my neck because I mentioned something I don't like about Igbo culture.

People should learn to not take such things personal. And of course move on from outdated things.

Babymama1:
Doesn't it sound strange
That's why when I hear them talk about respecting elders I just dey laugh
A lot of hypocrisy in the whole thing
Me call a Girl i senior with 10 years and above aunty because her brother pitied me to marry me or what
I dey craze?

@bold
I thought that was pretty obvious.
But then you never know...


It's such things that give people liver to come into your own house and slap you.

Shollypopzz:
The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

Una no dey tire to lie?

Exactly

coogar:
it depends on the kinda woman she is. she could be earning way less than him and still be a rude & choleric wife.

academic history - this is nothing as far as he's intelligent. he doesn't have a masters degree because he hasn't had the time or opportunity to pursue it, not that he is intellectually sterile to cop one.

age - mind over matter. if the couple involved don't mind, it doesn't matter. one can be 30 years of age with the emotional maturity of a prepubescent teen. one may be very young with the wisdom of a senior citizen. this can also be managed.

salary/career - this is the easiest to manage. they both know what they earn. the boss earns more than twice as much as him. it simply means the contribution towards up keep world be ratio 2:1........until the dude gets promoted at the very least.

easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Chillisauce:
Remind me not to quote you again. That was the second time the spambot gave me a ban for quoting you. Im begining to suspect that you have something to do with that spam bot.

as per fruits in english, forgive me. You no say i no dey chop fruit before. apart from the usual orange, pineapple,banana and mango. The rest i no dey take eye see them. I dont even know their names .
so now that i have repented, na the name i see here i carry and i was in a hurry to submit the post.

i will try the coconut thing later this eve. I got lots in the freezer.
and kiwi too.
broccoli is really good. At least the smell is not too awful like cauliflower.

apart from this juice, i hope you are eating clean. [Don't be like cococandy that will drink smoothie with a gallon of milk and then go ahead to eat her big cake

That's not true

Ok only sometimes. Just a bit of cake anyway

@moca. Where are you? How are you?

Phema:
May girls that possess such qualities not come near my brothers IJN. Amin!

out of my mouth.

Who wants doormats?

Funny thread sha.

If he's not insecure, yes it's possible

Nonsense song

Chillisauce:
Not really. She no wan lose at both end.
she just wants the guy to know if the boss sack her, he dare not back out of the wedding plans.
what does a mature woman working in a formal office need protection for. She be small pikin? Is that how she will be calling her husband for every dike and Harry that asks her out?

just get out of my head chilli.
I didn't even see this before I typed mine.

abdrazak:
Mind you veave, I have been giving the authority over her by her family. We are just like a married couple.
The worst part is that her boss knows me vividly and he is married too.
I dont even know what to do. I'm scared that she might later succummed to her boss and blame it on me for not protecting her.

authority over her indeed. You mean you adopted her as your new kid? abi are we still talking about an adult lady here?

Well to the topic, it's not your job to 'protect' her as far as this kind of situation is involved. She's an adult and that comes with making life decisions. So she can decide to call his bluff and lose her job.
Whatever she finally plans to do, you may then chip in to help her if it requires two people to implement successfully.

If she's pretty she could be getting a lot of male attention anywhere she finds herself even if she leaves this job. Are you going to be running after her every time 'protecting' her from any man who tries to get down with her? You will soon get exhausted. trust me on that one.

I get that the knight in you is rising up to fend off anyone who tries to trespass on your tuff but Let her be an adult and stand up for herself.

Your dad is just being paranoid because he thinks your mom is going to do him back like he's been doing to her over the years.
He needs to hear the truth albeit in a respectful manner but truth nonetheless.

Funny thing about the saying that he who kills by the sword doesn't let anyone walk behind him with a sword. He thinks everyone is like him.
He's not happy she stayed with him all though his years of womanizing. So fighting her now is his way of self defense. Nice payback

Pls you're not a kid anymore. You can talk to your dad. For you to even know of his womanizing habits means he didn't hide it from his family. That height of disrespect.

Somebody needs to tell him the nekid truth.
It is not a pleasant job. I feel for you but it's something you must do.

dBard:





..btw nice pic. Ur prettier than I expected.
Lucky guy, d hubby

Thanks I guess.

What were you expecting? You don't have to answer. Just that it sounded funny. Lol

Ewwww

I don't even know why I saw this thread too late.
I'm glad a guy is saying this.

Keep it up

dBard:
Obviously, this thread was created in response to some threads that has been making the rounds here concerning guys fidelity in marriage and lowered expectations and family.
First of all, the family is the primary social unit of the society and as such happiness on the home front Shouldn't be compromised.
Happiness in the home IS a consequence of our choices..choices primarily of our marriage/life partners, the choices of the kind of family we're getting into, external influences (friends, counselors etc) and personal choices.
Choices should always be made keeping in mind future outcomes... you meet a guy/girl who's unstable, promiscous, undisciplined and u end up with the person as the choicemof your life partner, wat do u expect in the future
Personal experience, I got a friend who slept with a girl on his marriage eve, overnight. Was I surprised? No..cos he had a long history of such behavior of which his long time, long suffering wife was/ is aware of. Will I take her serious if I see her complaining tomorrow, obviously NOT.
You can't make the wrong choice of a life partner and expect a happy home, same way you can't lay the wrong foundation and try to build a skyscraper #synagoguechurch
You marry for the wrong reason or you make the wrong choices then it becomes Your bed to lie on Not the norm.

Do guys cheat? Yes..
Do Most/All guys cheat??......NO!
I honestly don't know where that assertion came from.
Guys are generally sexual, but they are also reckless, egotistical but also largely responsible.
Do guys fantasize about sex..yes, a lot.... but they do that the same way they fantasize about being able to do Jackie chan stunts or being as agile and dangerous as Jason Statham, But u don't see them facing off armed individuals or leaping off the face of tall buildings do you

Fantasy doesn't necessarily equate to reality (p.s...impure thoughts weaken the resolve and shouldn't be indulged)
A guy that loves his wife will find it Really difficult to cheat on her.
Cheating ain't easy and a lot of people will rather not make the effort except it comes on a platter of gold and even then half the no will still probably reject.
There are a Whole lot of fellows who've been married for a while, faithful to themselves, their spouses amd their God but for some reason, people don't get to hear about these, rather it's the 'tales of woes ' that gets 'glorified'.
Its largely immature guys that gets led by their penis. Most marriageable fellows have already attained that discipline to a large extent and those that haven't can easily be spotted out IF u care to look.

P.s..if ur husband is faithful, step up and celebrate him to counter the negative propaganda.

I also read on a thread where ladies were advised to lower their expectations in order to be happy..
Question is...does the expectation of an event make the pain less bearable
Does it make it easier to deal with
I don't think so...trauma is trauma and no matter how desensitized u try to make yourselves, it WILL still leave a scar.
Also, wat moral right do you actually have to condemn the fellow when by your expectations you've given him the 'right' to misbehave.
Will you as a mother, lower your expectations of your children because of stories that abound of children that are bad?

Your expectations will/should hold ur spouse to task...be a reminder of his/her obligation to you.

Cheating shouldn't be tolerated and this should be made very clear to your spouse and any risky behavior (innocently or not) be nipped in d bud early enough....

Some guys cheat, some don't ...for every story of an unfaithful husband/spouse, there's Always another of a Faithful one.
The good is as plentiful as the bad, but unfortunately people never pay as much significance to light as they do to darkness.





Final note, someone once said..' advice maybe likened to metal, picked from the garbage of the persons experiences, gilded over (painted with gold) and sold for far more than it is worth'
Wise words we should always bear in mind

Peace..

cc:RoyalRoy

olu4life:
Yoruba culture clearly spelt it out for women that are married in the family.

Abeg OP e be like say u like trouble too. Its a Yoruba "thing", though not all families really cares about the brother/sister ish but all families expects the wives to respect the brother-inlaws and sister-inlaws. The way each family expresses theirs is different. Lemme tell u a small story.

My cousin got married to a lawyer. Though we didnt like her cos of her bossy attitude. She calls all the junior inlaws by name without anyone battling an eye. But she overdid it (details is much so lets skip that), then the MIL called a family meeting on her and warned her from that day not to call anyone by name again since she took advantage of the situation. Then she started calling us brother and sister but when elderly ones are not there, she will call us by our names, no brotehr or aunty. We just simply ignored it and moved on, never reported her. Not like its important to us so far she didnt pass her boundary.

Now the moral is that do it to stop a little disagreement turn to a huge fight.U dont have to call her aunty, find a nickname for her like "sisimi", trust me she will like it. Ignore those saying you shouldnt do it. A Yoruba woman/man wont advise you to do that cos they know the intensity of the issue. Good day

Whatever

Before we make it a women's thing, I don't know any man that can comfortably call a younger brother-in-law sir or uncle so that his wife's family will like him.

LewsTherin:
You will be surprised the drama I faced.

Besides, in all the organisations I worked in before setting out on my own, the rule was sirs and ma'ams. Bending the rule was allowed only wgere yoy called the person by their job title, Mr/Mrs or (to terrible to contemplate) aunty

Like I said, I still don't agree with you. In th OPs case, the stage is just being set for a thorough in-law crucifixion.

There is a difference between doing eye-service to maintain civility and denigrating oneself just to gain acceptance. The loss of one's self respect is the worst thing a person can face or be put through.

Self-respect, not pride. Different things

exactly

You're right about the bold.

As per picking battles, I do know to pick my battles too but I guess it's each to their own.
The last thing I'll do is call a person I'm older than aunt or uncle.
To me that's a proper battle to fight. How degrading:
From calling her aunty what next? I'll be serving her meals and running errands for her too?

Mind you I'm not ageist as I can even greet a very much younger person first if I see them before they see me. But being forced to call one aunty or uncle against my wish won't happen.

I prefer to ignore the so called bigger battles like where to buy a house and face this 'small' one.

Onegai:
It is not about any bloody culture. Most likely something else happened to annoy them, the MIL is siding with her SOL and they saw this opportunity to look for a way to start a fight and cause some humiliation and small drama with the wife. They don't give 2 Shi.ts about the culture. That is why we are telling her to do it. My sister going to do this to my SIL is not doing it on my behalf, it's because the babe pissed her off and she saw an opportunity to deal with her small

If this was your office and your boss was younger than you and was looking to score some cheap points to annoy you, will you carry your battle flag and call for a war (that even if you win, will cause additional wahala down the line for you, in other words a Pyhrric victory) or will you give yourself brain, neatly sidestep, play the fool and lose the battle and then later on win the war?

one of my SILs is over 10 years younger than me (Chei I'm old o ) and the babe is such an awkward not polite young woman. I took it up with my hubby and the fight it started that night was not it. Over a small girl whom I have seen not upto 10 times in my life and won't even see her more sef. I realised that instead of spending energy dwelling on crap, I'd rather fight my hubby over important matters such as financial planning, buying a home and where our kids are going to school (things that concern me).

Seriously what is important here? They should make warfare planning a required lesson in marital class.

Jamean:
I totally disagree with any advice for you to call her aunty or use "e" for her. Some families make it seem like you are so privileged to be married to them, hence you must be of your best behavior even to hypocrisy.

I'm glad she is also a woman and will marry too. You won't sow Lime to reap Apple.

...this is part of the reasons I have reservations for marrying outside my region.

That's what I think too when I see some ladies championing the traditions that humiliate them.

You guys are kidding right?
You mean if I married a Yoruba man I'll call his 15yr old baby sister aunty?

As in really?
Will I also call the 10yr old baby brother uncle too?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

Culture is nice and lovely when it is.

But when it is plain degrading, it is time to do away with it. My humble opinion

True

tearoses:
Of a truth the good men I know are a lot more than the bad ones.
I attend a small family church and I cant imagine any of those men cheating on their wives.
They are decent men who love God and love their families.


I also live in a small community where many of us know each other and many of us are very decent people. Where is the time to misbehave sef?

Unless these men are travelling 100 miles for these affairs.

Of course there are the "big london" guys and girls who are a totally different breed of people, but they are in the minority and the only reason why we hear so much of their escapades is becasue the things they do are shocking.

bukatyne:
Quotes from Marilyn Monroe

1. Before size zero, there was sexy

2. A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear

3. Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world

4. A girl knows her limits but a wise girl knows she has none

5. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you

6. Always, always, always believe in yourself because if you don't, then who will sweetie?

7. No girl should never forget that she doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her

8. Your clothes should be tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady

9. If you can make a girl laugh. You can make her do anything

10. We are all stars but we must learn how to shine

4,5,7 codes to live by.

dinachi:
Looking for my trouble,aint you?

hey see who's talking. Mr trouble maker. Even when unwarranted.
When you dey look for my own trouble you no dey know? You've earned it.

You even called your thread "words on marble"

My days.

Hmmm

Is this even funny?
I don't know I find it funny.

Who wants to buy breasttmilk?
Who's selling?

If you think about it sha, maybe it's not so bad.
But I still can't overlook the yuck factor.

Yuck.