₦airaland Forum

Ha an. Coogar did they send you?

See this young man may go home and start acting cold to his girlfriend now. Mind you he may not be able to afford a DNA test and all he will have is doubt but no way to prove and no way to even ask without risking ruining his relationship with his child's mother.

Coogar. (Puts on my stern face while pointing in the direction of the door)
Back off!

coogar:
strife?



he should just accept he's the father of the child just like that?

how well do you know the chic to believe she's speaking the truth? what if there's no pregnancy at all & she's doing this to make money? what if the pregnancy belongs to another dude?

cococandy, you need smoothies.

Brilliant.
It is quite insightful but I must say somewhat complex to try to explain to the layman who has no way of relating the fundamentals of psychology to everyday life.

Who else is dizzy from all the long posts?

Dizzy-eye emoticon needed.

OP yay you're gonna be a dad.

If it's a girl, I call dibs on godmother duty.

coogar:
he needs to find out if she's really pregnant & who's really responsible for the pregnancy.

his salary should be the last thing on his mind for now.

do not introduce strife where there is none

Babymama1:
Wasn't that how Ms L went and came back as cococandy
Me I want to retire babyosisi

Don't you dare.

Babyosisi is a trademark.
Who will brutally hammer the fear of God into the hearts of some of these young men?

Lie Ke?
It's obviously true.

I've not seen you before on this forum talk about HIV and the bad aspects of being sexually used for money.
So because women's infidelity is being discussed your remember that HIV is real and that the toy boys outside are in it for the money? .

I'd love to see you preach that to philandering men. Abi they are immune to HIV or the girls aren't using them for money? What about the guys sleeping around? Are they valueless?
Why not preached self value to them?

All you're saying is in line but I take it with a pinch of salt from forked tongue posters who can't say the same if situations are reversed.

njokusboy:
Pained ke,
Walai, dats not true...
I care little about what a woman decides to do with herself as long as I don't catch her nd she doesn't bring another man's child into my home... It speaks volume of a woman's self esteem for her to sleep with someone she cares sh1t about just because she wants to get back at her husband...
Most men would simply kick a cheating woman out, it's only you women that come up wiith silly excuses.... men cheat cos they want to, ya'll want to cheat to get back at the men, it shows what value you place on yourselves....

Maybe she's just trolling for attention

salsera:
NL isn't for life. People have been leaving here everyday
Deactivation ain't that serious a deal.

of course I know. Soldier come soldier go barrack remain

Doesn't mean I won't be like 'ugh' when an interesting character goes.

@babe3 yea.

But that said, You may agree with me that conditional love is not a negative thing like some people might want to see it. Without conditions, love would be subject to abuse. It would be taken for granted by those who are receiving it.

I'd say those are the ways in which we are like God.(for those who believe in him)
He hates wickedness, and so unless you're ready to not be wicked, you're not eligible to be in his kingdom.

Same as for me a human. I love you yes. But if you're going to abuse me and stuff like that, you're not eligible to be in my life. My love is still there and when you're ready to drop that behavior that keeps getting in the way, we will be together.

But until then, bye.

I feel sorry for her

Are those human beings?
I hope they all get life imprisonment.
Jeeeeeeeez!

What would you tell a your younger brother or sister about sex?
View them that way and tell them same.

Babymama1:
His love is unconditional says the scriptures.

For God so loved the world he he gave his only son.

While we were yet sinners Christ died

yea I know and that love is constantly there for anyone who's willing to embrace it by repenting and coming to him but sinners who refuse to repent will be cast in hell 'unless' they we repent.

Is the repentance not a condition?
It sounds like a condition to me.


See me theologizing

TV where are you? You're needed here Biko.

Even god's love is not unconditional.
If you don't play according to his rules, you know what's up according to the scriptures.

So love can't really be 100percent unconditional.
There's are characteristics you love and you will tend to fall in love with someone who possesses them. That's the condition right there.
If that person weren't that way, you wouldn't love them.

I must be blind.

Nigga didn't turn.

I only saw him from two perspectives

Akposy:
voting has not started ma....tanx

lol

Ok

My bad. I saw the mention and I thought it already started

rationalmind:
I can conveniently pay my bills. Does that qualify as rich?

no

not just bills. Fancy stuff, vacations in the Bahamas, luxury cars.... erm erm stuff like that

If you gotta be picky about the profession you marry from, you gotta be able to satisfy a picky wife too.

That would be true for those who divorced based on reasons that could have perfectly been sorted out if they were more willing to make it work.

I don't think anyone who ran away from an abusive partner will regret it. Instead it would be a relief for them.

Edited. I see you already said that in your later post.

raumdeuter:
Below is the reality

[size=15pt]Most divorced people regret ever getting divorced[/size]



https://winteryknight./2014/08/20/new-study-50-percent-of-divorced-people-wish-they-had-never-ended-their-marriage/

Are you rich?

My younger sister is a nurse. (We are a family of nurses too)
If you're going to marry for profession, she might as well marry you for your money

rationalmind:
I can only speak for myself. Of all things I'll consider before getting married, love is certainly not one of them. And of all things that's going to keep my marriage going, love is the least of them.

Mum's a nurse and I'll certainly like to get married to a nurse. That's all that matters to me. Love in my opinion is too erratic to base my marriage on. After all, it's just the brain playing tricks.

For me yes.
I'm a lovebird and I don't think I'll really be happy in the true sense of happiness if I believe my partner isn't married to me because of love.

But I know people marry for their reasons which are sorta kinda ok when analyzed from their POV. Maybe when I'm 40 I'll understand.

I vote akposy.

fellis:
It should be obvious to you by now that tokswhatever is a troll. Take a closer look at his posts you'd see the glaring troll attempts.
Some Nairalanders are mentally unbalanced and gain fulfilment from causing trouble and trying to get others worked up. Keep that in mind when reading posts.

he said he's not among the 99 % that will do like that.
He's among 1% that are good

Toks2008:
Its crazy but true and this applies to a man too.

I tell guys that they can't just act towards their women with a prejudicial conviction that she wil misbehave hence the need to treat your woman excellently well yet expect the worst from her.

This are just the hard facts of life.

i hear you

Toks2008:
Just tell him to use protection and do it far far away from you.

Please whatever i post on nairaland concerning relationships are unbiased facts and if the reader can try to consider my assertions,it will be of great advantage.

A lady should not even have that bother her even when we know how difficult it may be and its like a reasonable man knowing that he has to fend for his family so in same manner every married lady should zero her mind that that man will and i Mean WILL CHEAT ON HER and if he never does,all well and good.

This is how to be happy in marriage.

BE submissive

Be romantic

Be an excellent cook

Be financially independent

Be happy with yourself

Love your husband and care for him.

Expect him to cheat on you but tell him that incase he ever decides to be crazy with his dick, he should do it far away from you and be sensible enough to use condom

Then don't bother your head about his fidelity but live your life and dedicate you love to your children or something productive.

SMH.

In essence be good but expect to be treated badly for being good.

xynerise:
Not just cheating. I am talking about hardship, Societal pressure and even health related issues.

Depression make husband run mad. Wife carry children run go village. Bicycle hit Wife, she became crippled. Husband marry another woman to replace the legs ....End time marriage

Yea. I believe couples should stay together and be strong for each other in such situations.
You're probably right people tend to run when such hard times hit but the ideal would be to stay and tough it out. Although I've to say I know some married people who have been through hell together. And they are not in the minority.

I don't pray for such and I can't really say I've had hard times but I'm of the mindset that if such were to happen to me,(poverty, sickness, or anything like that) I'd stick it out until the end.

Yes they should be accommodating if they are aware of those faults from the beginning. Everyone does have some fault to begin with.

But how about those that got married and after some years start behaving nasty to their spouse? That's the kind of thing I think they should change instead of expecting the poor fellow to endure it. They are preaching against divorce but won't stop doing that thing that can lead their partner to get fed up. Just like you said at the bolded. Introducing uncertainties that don't belong in marriage is likely going to break the marriage.


I'm fine
If you keep calling me ma'am or madam I'll go and find a chieftaincy title for you

jaybee3:
Shouldn't they be accomodating the difference from the onset?

Going into a union an expecting change for a desired result is too much of a gamble.

You shouldn't knowingly introduce uncertainty variables into marriage equations.


Madam sounds better?

How u been though?

Guilty as charged.

The phone sometimes dey bottom of the handbag.
By the time you rummage through your orishirishi to get to it, the call don end.
Can't be bothered eh.
If you're important, I'll call you back.

Ma'am?

Jaybee will not kill me.

Sir I agree with you on being realistic with expectations. But I think you're misunderstanding my position. In a way we are saying the same thing.

If someone won't change a bad attitude that puts strain on his or her marriage but keeps expecting his/her partner to put up with such things, isn't that an example of being unrealistic about the things the other is capable of enduring?

See same thing.

jaybee3:
With all due respect ma’am, I disagree with the change mantra as far as relationship is concerned. Change can never be sustained especially when human beings are constantly having to deal with temptation of varying degree on a daily basis.

Expectation! Expectation! Expectation!

Couples need to have/set realistic expectations. The world is changing and as such very diverse. You need to embrace differences and ensure expectations are well communicated before embarking on the journey. Yes people will lie so they can receive the acceptance they yearn but as a person you simply can’t lie to yourself. If your expectation isn’t being met then there really isn’t any point to continue the relationship hence the divorce option.

It’s really as simple as that

xynerise:
For better for worse in today's marriage is a hoax. That cliché don't exist anymore or very rare. Health issue or not, some women will still seek divorce if Oga's John-Thomas also go South-South, South-West or South-East during sex.

well I really believe in it.

I even think that sometimes going through hard times together can help a couple bond more emotionally of they are ready to be each other back bone.

It's just some people understand for better for worse to mean "if I cheat on you or beat you or abuse you, you should stay and endure it."
That's where all the mixed interpretations come from.

xynerise:
A situation where a woman seeks divorce because her man can't sexually satisfy her, would you still preach CHANGE to him?

yes na

he needs to know that sexual satisfaction is part of a satisfactory marriage.

Except he has health issues or any kind of stress that may have reduced his drive (which is a case of for better for worse) then he should endeavor to satisfy his wife. Kilode

@OP
Western influence indeed.

The divorce that happened in igando court of Lagos last week surpassed that of America and UK put together in 2yrs

Pls the earlier we start owning up to our failings than blaming western influence for them, the better for us.