₦airaland Forum

Shirley07:
Lol.
No doubt, I really do enjoy banters but it becomes boring when it comes down to lies to save face.
I wouldn't have even interfered if you hadn't lie. Tell me, who's attacking who? Before her last post, coco never made any spiteful words despite all your effort to irk her, I was beginning to think she was dulling. And you should know me already, no dulling moment, especially with a stüpid fellow like you.

Well if he's beating you up , you better find your way out for your health and life's sake.

If your problems are mainly adaptation issues,maybe consider counseling and give it time to see if there will be improvement.

But if he really wants to divorce,are you going to stop him? There isn't much you can do except dust yourself and move on.
You can't hold someone who wants to leave at all costs.

5minsmadness:
Lol@people liking your posts. Its the same 'you lot' that like your posts hence 'you lot' keep getting likes no matter what excrementory advice you post.

If you have problems understanding what I mean by 'you lot' then maybe you're the idiiot.


I have never crossed swords with you on any thread so I'm not the one with the baggage here. Its you attacking me from what sirshymex and crackhaus have done to you in the past.

Yeah you mentioned counseling on an off note but mentioned divorce twice in that post alone! Not to talk of other posts. Now you're harping on it like its your usual line of defence. Pfft.

This would have been a civil discussion but no, you lot don't do that do you?



What is it with you and divorce? Does it empower the woman so much?

Ewwwwww@you thinking you have a syndrome worth naming.

People call you out when you make irritating comments. The vast majority simply ignore them. Its a pity I couldn't stop myself from commenting concerning you today.

I repeat;
Ewwwwww@cococandy syndrome, you actually gave it a name? So it must occur a lot then? Wonder why.


Now i feel dirty. Ewwww. I'm going to take a bath and wash this 'syndrome shit' off me.

Guess i'll beat you to it and put you on my ignore list first.

5minsmadness:
Just because I quoted you doesn't mean I am.looking for a fight. Jeeez, there's no talking to you lot!






This is you again. Its definitely NOT HER CHOICE ALONE TO MAKE, she has a baby on the way and a man (who in no way has been said to be beating her unless op adds it now to sweeten the deal) living under the same roof with her!

I repeat, what is your own with divorce? Were your parents divorced? Are you divorced? Half the things you say in this forum end in divorce.

What if she's lying about what she said up there about being quiet? She said it like there was some things the man had to put up with when they were courting and all of a sudden all the things she has mentioned make her look oh so innocent. What if she's an ugly nag? Then the man should be right asking for a divorce?

Probably the op's husband found out she doesn't do anything around the house all day and is a bad cook. Probably she keeps too many male friends and her husband is fed up with it. All 'probably!'
I can't even...how can I fathom all these things if she didn't mention it at all? But its so easy for you!

What is your own with divorce divorce divorce??


You know what, never mind. This road never leads anywhere.

Maybe you should wonder why there is a cococandy syndrome , maybe you should wonder why you think people attack you for no apparent reason. I hardly quote you so I'm definitely not one of them.

5minsmadness:
This was your original post. She never mentioned or suggested or alluded to the fact that, or even hinted that he was beating her up.
Where the hell do.you get this mentality that all men are beasts from?

She just told you she's been married for 2 months only and you are hammering on her to get a divorce, after all her husband asked for it first.
Is that how you solve your problems in real life? Your thought processes are mind boggling to say the least.

People keep saying you are married. Are you saying you never encounter any problems AT ALL in your marriage? Did you solve it by screaming 'divorce!' at the top of your voice? Or are you going to tell us now that you and your husband are snow white and prince charming....scratch that, even snow white and prince charming had their issues and they worked it out.


Seriously madam.

mutter:
If I was the OP. The OP is not a nigerian woman and obviously was too naive and even if she was smart, comprehending the Nigerian way of life can take a life time if it does not flow in your blood.

So I do not see myself as contradicting myself. Every case depends on the particular circumstances. While polygamy is part of the nigerian way of life, there is also away to go about it, just as there is a way to go about everything in life.
For a polygamous marriage all parties have to know about it but in this case it does seem that the man does not want the OP to know about it and is till now making no efforts to tell her the truth.
The OP knows the truth and is making all eforts to cling in the false hope that she can eliminate "Adamma" in Edo.

5minsmadness:
@cococandy, where did she say he beat her up

ileobatojo:
You can never be sure. Especially if the pretense (to still be into you) started later in the relationship.

If you feel he didn't pretend, then you need to find out what went wrong.

If you can't point a finger on anything as the cause, then he's probably having an affair. Perhaps with his friends's wife .

jnrbayano:
The person that started cooking in that innocent child's favourite urinating spot is to be blamed.

DieeDiee:
Lol... Coco stop you know she's going to be foolish enough to answer that.

Ohwhy:
You all have spoken well. But I wanna say that if my personality was as bad as some people here termed it, I won't have bothered posting this topic. I was frm a poor background when he met me, I never covered this up like most grls would. Infact I showed him where I live the first day we saw each other. He called me humble. Even with my kind of background, I was never materialistic. He loved this about me. (He had the guts to refer to me as poor after we tied the knots)
My kind of person, am a shy person who can hardly look at a person's face for more than 10 seconds. Am not confrontational ( now he wishes I was as aggressive as his friend's wife) I get scared easily I find it hard to ask questions most times . I don't like outrageous kinda dressing, I like to keep it simple, he loved this about me (now he calls me a small girl). Am not rude, am not insultive as I was raised well by my parents. I knew him well and he knows me well. The years of courtship was never filled with pretense because we spent a lot of time together. There was no room for one to pretend.

Shirley07:
Mutter is a miserable woman who seeks company in her misery. That's a fact I know.

mutter:
You are certainly mistaken about that. If I was the OP, I would have kicked him out immediatly and then wait for my baby to come, regain my strenght and then take a final decision.
At the end of the day I would not go out of my way to harm him but if that is the step needed to make sure i reduce damages I would not hesitate. For instance I would go on with the divorce even if he looses the his residence status.

The main issue here is that this woman wants the man to herself at all costs so i am just adding one more to her bizarre options.

As for the number- if your friend is good looking and decent I might consider MIL option but not wife.

The OP is a let down to women!

chaircover:
So sad
Yes she owns one of the busiest African stores in Peckham. It was her shop I first saw live snails.
God knows all
RIP madam.

RoyalRoy:


Where did you get Alutacontinua's picture?

5minsmadness:
A razor or knife is used to put a mark or two on the clit. Just the same way they gave tribal marks those days. Only smaller.

chaircover:
@findingtruth as advised, I told you to sit back relax, have your baby and THEN think of what to do
Now is not the time, You are not thinking straight . Emotions and hormines are very high right now.

From what you say, you want to Hold on to a man that HAD no intention of having you.
A man who never wanted you for you from the onset. He only wanted what he could get from you; papers and someone to lie with and feed and cloth him until he was satisfied. I am sorry to be so blunt
This is not an affair he picked up along the line; he always had his woman back in Nigeria. Its very sad, but you were not in his plans.

Now you want to enslave him and take half of what he earns . . .what half? . . of what earnings? What if he decides to stay back in Nigeria? will you chase him down to Nigeria looking for your half.
You dont seem to understand; he doesnt want to be with you, so he will do everything within his power to free himself. You want to live under the same roof as a man that doesnt want you . . .This is a dangerous route you are taking.

You want to box into a corner a man who scammed you for years without you knowing a thing . . . No disrespect but dont you think that he will always be one step ahead.

Like I said. Take it easy, have your baby, then sit down and calmy look at the specific details of thos case and look at what can be done. You may be better off just cutting the guy loose and getting him to pay child maintenance from wherever he is. You can still look your child in the eye. You have done no wrong. Better to grow up in a peaceful single parent household a crazied bitter abusive 2 parent household.

The route you want to go down could be a very bloody one. I watch the CI channel and have seen people kill/be killed for less.
You owe yourself more than that. You owe your kids more than that.

Kachisbarbie:
Pls do.
You gonna look like someone straight outta a magazine

5minsmadness:
There are different types of female circumcision:

1. Marking the vlitoris.
2. Cutting off the clit.
3. Cutting the labia minor
4. Cutting the labia major
5. Cutting the vag1nal wall itself.

My take: For those who practice it, why not encourage them to do no. 1, teaching them to do it in a medically safe and healthy manner, and abandon the others. This will stop any hidden form of FGM and prevent the pains and complications that arise from those who secretly do it.

They did the same with traditional birth attendants. When they saw people still patronized them despite the dangers involved, they changed strategy and started to educate the birth attendants on hygiene, better and safer practices. This reduced the number of women who died from childbirth in the rural areas.

Why not do same for female circumcision?

bukatyne:
Ex and intimate chats are two deadly combo.

That said, he might not be intimate else the question who bleeped me ain't necessary

However, it is very very irresponsible to have intimate chats with someone you are not in a relationship with. If he knew such rapport could exist between him and ex, why did they break up?

Try to find out why they broke up to help you put things in proper perspective so you do not become 2nd fiddle.

Forget the swearing on mama's grave; If he sees you as a keeper and wants to marry you, he will swear on sango's grave that he does not know her even If he just finished mess.ing her.

If he is sincere, let him know This is the first and last time you will entertain such disrespect; If he yearns for a tete a tete with ex, he can end your relationship and go back to her.

Cheating is a deal breaker depending in your values.

No matter How much you invest in a relationship, it is much better to let go than marry and patch up

davidylan:
lol what does one do with a slim girl? In my book, that is a sister not a wife material.

ileobatojo:
Really? I thought you stayed pretty calm and unbiased.

It's all good.

ileobatojo:
Coco, why did you delete your posts now?

5minsmadness:
Awww, that's not true. No pain in childhood or sex. The only pain comes during childbirth and even then it is in cases of extreme circumcision where the entire vlitoris and labia minor are cut.

There are different types of female circumcision two of which involves marking the vlitoris only, not even cutting it off. I think the female circumcision thing got a really bad rap from the Europeans who saw it as completely barbaric and because we were under the hypnosis of "everything western must be good and everything culture bad" we did away with it as the good children we were instead of improving on it and removing the bad part(massive mutilation) while retaining the cultural significance.


This is just a rethorical discussion by the way, not as if am clamouring for female circumcision to make a comeback. Its been nice discussing with you.

TheRealCoolHunK:
He's a UN Ambassador campaigning
to save water.