₦airaland Forum

Spot on

mrsthang:
@OP,I will go off point a bit, sorry.


It is important that women become very ruthless and non sentimental in their choice of partner.A man you choose to marry will contribute a lot to your mental stability in the long run.

It is better to lay out your expectations BEFORE marriage and see if values match up.

A good number of men are very clear as to their expectations ,some very unrealistic.This plays out in the dating phase and yet we find women thinking marriage would suddenly make the person change and become more considerate?

If you are dating someone and playing househelp while also footing bills,how would this translate after marrying?

A- very traditional will expect you to do all the housework ,will expect to make all decisions while you don't contribute any of your money to running the house.

B-will expect you to work,do all the chores,submit your money to him and he will then dispense as he pleases.

C-will do house chores without breaking a sweat while you are the bread winner.

D-will out earn you and be happy to let you run things,may not even care about your cash.

E- 50-50 finances with chores split evenly or almost evenly.

It goes on and on,we as females have a choice as to whom we decide to spend our lives with.

Find the one that keys in to your own vision,do not make the mistake of thinking that a wicked, selfish person will mellow and become an angel.

Humans vary so much in their wants and needs,there is always a suitable person no matter how long it takes.

Not every woman is built to be submissive and a number of men are happy for the women to make final decisions.

There are also men who lead their homes seamlessly.

Yet again there are homes where there is partnership and each partner makes decisions based on their proficiency.

It goes on and on,we just need to respect our differences.

What matters is that the home front and the individuals in it stay happy.Can we boldly say the ones that don't follow the usual man is the head pattern are unhappy? Every ones parameter for happiness varies,none is more valid than the other.

I would say discuss money, religion,raising kids, sex,chores ,headship,tailship, neck ship,abuse etc before saying I do.


Marriage is a windy road with two imperfect people,there are ups and downs,but it can be mostly beautiful if it is done with the right person.


Disclaimer: I am no expert,my own marriage is almost at the 10 year mark and the only thing I didn't give a thought to is now what is haunting me, lol.Outside that,things are very good

No, I am not submissive neither do I believe that I'm made to be monogamous yet there's a man who loves me to the moon and back,lol.


Bottom line,choose wisely.

While I agree with most of this post, I don’t agree with 100% submission from the woman if the man is the 100% breadwinner.

There’s more to marriage than money and it doesn’t matter if he brings in millions of dollars every month and she brings in nothing. She’s still a human being who has a right to be heard in that marriage. Her opinion should ALWAYS be considered in the running of the home. ALWAYS.

And vice versa (for those who need it to be said).

CHoccolaTE:
So many Nigerian men have these disgusting double standard for marriage.
They are just really naturally selfish and self centered its so disgusting.
They want to cheat on their wives because they are supposedly "naturally polygamous" but will want a 100% faithful wife as if adultery was not forbidden for BOTH men and women. So which religious books are they following when they justify adultery with their naturally polygamous excuse?

They will be busy looking for financially independent wife that is providing for themselves and also contributing to house upkeep from her salary but they will also demand 100% submission from her. What kind of narcissistic and inconsiderate expectation is that please?

Excuse me but I don't even care if you think its because of arrogance or pride but a woman who is financially independent cannot be 100% submissive. What will she be gaining from the marriage then if she brings money to take care of your needs in the house but you still boss her around like an employee. Even men at their place of work can never be wiling to obey their boss if he isn't paying them their salary or if they are using their own cash to run the boss's company.

I am not even encouraging the wife to disrespect their husbands because they are financially independent, no. But I don't see why men will find it disrespectful if a woman who brings her hard earned money to pay rent or school fees or even food items wants to be part of the decision making process in her house. They want a docile sheep they can profit financially from and still control like a slave from at the same time.
Scammers.

The status quo about wives always submitting to authority of husband changed the moment you men decided that women should be financially independent and join their husbands in providing for their families.

The origin of the whole wives submission and husbands providing thing is from the Abrahamic religious books (Quran and Bible) which decreed that women submit to husbands while men go out and fend for the family. Islam makes it clear that wives are under no obligation to provide for the family and Christianity explicitly stated that men who cannot provide for their families are infidels.

Nowhere was it stated that it is the duty of the wife to join her husband is providing but you men want to guilt trip women into believing that they are failures if they don't join you in providing for the family. But you will never accept that you are also under obligation to cook or clean or take care of children just like the woman. The best you can get from men when it comes to house chores is a little assistance while the man will not fail to keep reminding his wife that he is just assisting her and house work is not for the husband.

Such irritating selfishness. Tufia

And lastly, that bullshit excuse of women becoming arrogant after they start earning more than their husbands or when the man is jobless is just complete crap because men do WORSE to women if the woman is completely dependent on them. Its in the nature of humans, males and females, to have more pride and ego when they are doing well in life or when they have a lot of money. Husbands who earn far more than their wives also exhibit tyrant and oppressive behaviours to their wives. Majority of them will always insult or degrade their wives and insult them because she depends on them. Some will even shamelessly keep girlfriends openly and flaunt it in front of their wives because they think she cannot go anywhere since she has no money. If she complains to outsiders, nobody chides the man or cautions him. They will tell the wife to get a job and start contributing to the family so that the man can respect her.
But when a man is dependent on the wife everyone wants the woman to increase her submission to him to hundredfold and not show any sign of arrogance and to patiently help him build himself up and pray for him.

Nonsense.

There’s nothing spiritual holding you back. Your predicaments are not unusual given the human nature to be mean and wicked to others (the woman who treated you bad, the two person’s who ran away with your money etc) are just examples of human beings being human.

Stop thinking you need to go see someone spiritual before your life gets back on the right path. If you get that into your mind, it will become your reality. As a person thinks, so he is. Your mind will be clouded with negativity such that you won’t take opportunities or believe in yourself anymore.

you believe there’s something bigger than you fighting against you. Not necessarily. The only big thing fighting against you here is the situation of the economy and your need to develop skepticism and wariness of humans.

PSTEMMA1960:
thanks ma... Just trying to settle the spiritual aspect of my problems before going into another job...

U know it looks somehow for someone to have laboured since 2006 with nothing to show for it....

Don’t spend your last money on transportation and accommodation to go and see any “man of God”

Unless the person has a job for you.

PSTEMMA1960:
I have only been to Zaria once sir, I don't know to reach him....don't know if u can help me....especially the area of deliverance...

Oh shut the fvck up will you.

kunleweb:
If you like buy ten cars they will send demons to knock the engine.

Gather ten million, they'll send spirit of embezzlement to enter people and send them to come dupe you.this one cure is easy. With daily prayer ask God to remove every sign placed on your life to attract afflictions. Every sign from your foundation inviting devourer and spoilers to contaminate your destiny, ask God to wash the sign away


Enter any living church, join evangelism, get tracts go and start distributing and tell me what you noticed if you do this and follow my instructions for few weeks.


Tell God every curse and evil that has attached with your life to be separated from you. Ask God to separate you from the spirit of your father's house and to deliver you from the consequences of the actions of your ancestors.



This is easy to handle, just obey, follow God. You won't need one naira to end this rubbish IJN. Don't pay anyone a dime..



Ask God to destroy the pursuers of your life and destiny


You need a spiritual covering so while you undergo prayers, the situation can be prayerfully monitored and supervised


Find a good deliverance Church to attend. I didn't say church o, I said deliverance church. Find any, find the man of God there, submit to. Him, he will pray and wash your head from spirit of bad luck and serve God and see what God will do.



Tell God covenant that your hands will not prosper to shake it off your hands and ask Him to break every evil that has attached itself with your hands, that it will work but not gather

Exactly. Because dragons are real

OkunrinOloro:
It's a dragon having sex with a car. It actually happened in real life.

You’re not better than anyone because you’re straight.

That’s so dumb I’m questioning myself for even replying you. Dumb as hell

error4040:
LMAO you said better than ?
are you Alright ?
How in the world would someone who is Straight Not be better than a GAY ?
ForFvck sake they are trying to force humanity to extinction & you expect me to take them as Normal people?
All LGBTQ need serious therapy.

Your holiness and righteousness is illuminating this place

bluefilm:
Nekwenu m anya!

Bikonu who be dis gay person?

Nne biko abeg carry your despicable gay spirit comot for road before you infect others with your vile demonic ailment.

They will legalize it when y’all legalize polyandry. Always supporting misogynistic and oppressive ideals.

Why not ask the women who their husbands go out to marry other women if it hurts them or not.

But then women aren’t humans in your world so as long the woman is the only person hurt, then no one significant was hurt .
Mtchew

Daviddson:
Aunty Liberal, why don't America allow for polygamy? Why's polygamy illegal in the US? Does polygamy hurt anybody?

inspitation:
it is finished 15 years old? gay? the world we live in now is worse than sodom and gomorrah

D1zion:
I don't feel sorry for people like this.all I know is God never made mistake in his creation. For him to have created you the way you're should make you thank him.now two great mistakes of his life, being gay & that is not enough, he went ahead to commit suicide. He know he can't withstand bully why did he come out to announced it to the world? Rubbish, rest in hell & not rest in peace.

Floryangel8:
Minus one, at this age what is he supposed to know about sex talkless of being perversed

Avedonn:
If you can tolerate it that means you like it.

No sane human being can tolerate evil like gays.

bluefilm:
Small boy like dis don already sabi poke pesin for nyash?

Tufiakwa.

Uwa mmebi.

error4040:
So person go wake up one morning say Na to Fvck Nyash and Svck C0ck de sweet am

Someone above me:
"No one should be bullied or hated for who or what they
are as long as they're not harming anyone.
Being gay doesn't make him a bad person. There are
tons of "straight" people he's better than. But the
world doesn't seem to care. Sad. Just sad"
Really Neega ??
As long as they're not Harming Anyone ??
Are you Mad ?
For your info Gays are the Reason Human race is facing Extinction.

In the Beginning God created Adam&Eve not Adam&Steve

Mind you I have Zero Sympathy for Gays!

You dumbasses really think you’re better than anyone let alone a gay person? You’re committing the crime of hate

What did they do to you?

Are you folks for real?

So much woman hate
So much misogyny

Does any of you know her personally or even have a clue how they ended up together?

May the evil you support be your portion.

ainas247:
This is what happened when you
marry because of material things
marry because of what you are getting at that moment
not marrying someone who really loves you.
not marry your best friend because you are too close.

Do you want to rank your business on Google
page one check my profile for more details

gypsey:
Dammmm! What a Nose! she is battered but she still had the hand to post her ugly face on social media. rather than run for her life. what kinda man gets married to such an Ugly woman?

Lies!

ebukamen:
She found out that her husband was sleeping with his cashier but she thinks she won't possess her possession by going out with him. What do you want the man to do?
She wants to be inside the house..... Let her be there

Do this.... No
Do that..... No
What do they want.... I don't know

Obanaijacom:
Now the humble guy who had nothing but begged you to marry him will be at one corner laughing at you.

You married a man for all the wrong reasons, if you are having issues there is no point coming to social media to expose your private life, call the police, call your people and stop being funny and dramatic, you want to show the whole world your face and become another headline in the blogs and on instagram.

Ladies who do not study their man before going ahead to tie the knot, may end up marrying a man who will treat them like trash.

stankezzy:
the family are doing nothing because they know that she has a very bad ,mouth ,a man that u always insult but if he mistakenly beats u d whole world will hear but will never hear d insults u give him constantly ,please my people telling ur partner that u can't go for party will it warrant beating ? it is only when u refused to go and still shout and insult him that he is going there to go and carry wemen , ,lastly as a rich man he can easily let u go and marry another wife but yet he doesn't want a broken home now u are terming it that he is locking u inside, that your former boy friend u are missing don't worry , soon u will have him and get tired then he will tell u that younger girls are coming out , that u have given birth ,wemen and useless thinking

maxiuc:


When you are more interested in the engagement the traditional wedding and the white wedding that's what you get girls of this days they are quick to rush into marriage forgetting that the fanware ends in a day but the marriage for a lifetime

Not all men that has money and is financially stable is matured enough to start a family most girls this days don't check this , so far he has money gbam he is ok for them they don't care if the man is physically mentally and spiritually enough to be a husband

Nne enjoy your marriage oooooooooo is your Choice not nairalanders choice
Cry out to your brothers and sisters and those that endorsed the wedding the can be of help

ogtavia:
She wanted someone who is ready. Now she got him, why complain?

jampro123:
I don't pity any lady in an abusive marriage. Some of them are in a good marriages but refuse to appreciate the man who did all that for them. Tomorrow now let a good man locate her, she will forget how she carried and start giving the man attitudes.

Ages indeed.

We have been fine.

Happy Easter to you and yours from us

shaybebaby:
Sweetpea, how are you? It's been ages..

How's lil girl and hubster? I know you are all doing great (I trust you )

Happy Easter.

Bunch of morons

Any excuse to post misogynistic tripe

Hey gorgeous

shaybebaby:
Why is there so much savagery in your post?

Throwing knockouts like its going out of fashion, dia is God oooo

Thanks

ibkayee:
Looks nice

I eat very spicy noodle soup when I feel like treating myself.

To me it’s just special

Lesson for other girls as in?

GreatResearcher:
Read with compression. The guy wasn't sex starved.

He was emotionally involved with a girl who doesn't gives a fvvk about his existence.


She publicly disgraced him.

Lesson for other girls.

Lol. The ladies.

Why do you even ask?

prince3009:
What's despicable?

The man's action or the reaction of the ladies?

Despicable

Thanks

sammyfrosh:
Open sesame

You're a good cook and I like this.

Sir/madam,
Are we supposed to feel sorry for you

You’re a wicked person who got rewarded with someone you deserve. You wanted to deny her children? What was your plan when you married someone knowing that you can’t have children with them and that’s something they expect?

And the worst part is that the period wherein y’all were childless, she was probably blamed for being barren and you were quiet.

Go to sleep oga/madam

Forged story

You need to die and take your foolishness away from this earth

Devil

LuciferOverseer:
Now the lover she desperately wanted to run to will abandon her.

Sense will not kill the husband.
We need more husbands like him.


*spits

They should soak him in acid too

Looks good. Did you make it?

Joecristiano7:
Comman see food

Thanks I appreciate the compliment

I’m sure you do well already

Shugah:
You're a good cook. I want to be like you when I grow up.

Americans also have higher income in order to afford to pay such taxes

tactius:
OK...

What if I told you guys that we could have MODERN AMBULANCES, ETC...like the ones we see aborad....IF WE PAID MORE TAXES.

Many Nigerians cry about how bad things are, and then port to countries like Canada, UK and US...where they pay municipal taxes as high as N30000 monthly or more....and in return, ambulance service is among the stuff provided.

Our health care budget was N800billion out of N8 trillion naira...that's 2billion USD. In the USA...the state of New Youk has a budget of $160BN USD.

And we expect miracles from our scanty budget of $22billionn naira.?

And corruption is eating our budget as well...meanwhile PDP and APC supporters are defending their corrupt politicans well well...


If you want nice stuff....PAY TAXES. If you want increased funding..PAY HIGHER TAXES. Our tax rate is 0-24% In developed countries it can be has high as 50% per annum.


MODIFIED

Guys....YOU CANNOT EXPECT TO BUY A CAR OF 8 million for just 8000 naira

Yet you guys want USA , UK , EUROPEAN level of CARE for a fraction of the amount they spend there for health care??




By the way, anyone who quotes me to insult or abuse me would be reported to the mods. I have made my point without insults. You can do the same too. Uncivilized remarks would be reported.

Shut your mor0nic mouth.

Idiot

BEANSANDBREAD00:
Some women can run their mouth like tap water
Only a man with self control can handle such women

Tekashi12:
nicee

Do you have any sense at all?

It’s black bean stew.

You can use canned black beans to make it easier (I did)
Or use raw beans soaked overnight.

After soaking overnight or buying the canned beans, the cooking process is the same as regular beans porridge that you make at home. I made it watery to go over the white rice and served with fried fish.

mrrandomguy:
What is the second picture. Can you share the recipe?

Get checked for TB (tuberculosis) as well

Come join

Uh okay. I see.

Modify the Bible to suit modern time huh?

Because we are getting more socially conscious and realize how shitty some ‘holy’ laws are right?

But still pretending to hold onto them.

cactusland:
Not necessarily but to make it compatible with modernity it must be based on a strike system. Imagine if your lover betrayed you for another woman while not telling you. You'd feel pretty unsettled since he didn't actually love you like you thought he did.