₦airaland Forum

And the lawyers agreed to represent him

Apart from the sex issue I think she needs to work less so that you guys can have more family time together. Not just for sex.

But I still think 2-3 times a week is okay except if the quality is poor (which you have said it is).
However considering infidelity is not the answer.

And it speaks to deeper issues between you guys than just the sexual issues.

Maybe consider counseling? I don't have the qualifications to make adequate diagnosis of your situation and proffer a solution.

3kachi4u:
I started to cook and wash dishes sometimes especially recently. i even sometimes tell her not bother cooking that we ll eat out. Did these a few times, even at dinner outside, she is on her phone

What is most disheartening is when she sees sex as some sort of duty and asks u todo fast so she can sleep...

Don't assume having no kids means less chores. Not necessarily.
Help out more at home since she's always working. For someone who's that busy to make love to 3 times a week, it means she's very strong.

You want a side chic? Lmao

Get a job before having a kid. If you have a kid now that he's unwilling to, you will be stuck taking care of the child financially without a source of income.

firstladyp4:
Look U Hav Wain Ur Mouth Toomuch An Its Not Acceptable Here, I Only Ask For Advice Not Insult Frm Dump Like U, for Ur Information None Of The Girls Was Rape He Was Just Trying To When Caugt So Mind Ur Words Pls

Smh

100

Afam4eva:
Our Yoruba brothers can be one funny bunch of people. The same people that when this same Oba made the lagoon statement, because of their bias and hate for the Igbo people, even people who did not support the Oba's uterance told us not to abuse him because he is a traditional ruler. fast forward to day, he's now the worst thing after satan because he dared to insult the Ooni of Ife. This just re-enforces the popular saying that "Injustice anywhere is Injustice everywhere". What goes around comes around.

100

dadexcel:
............... Ok, first I will start by saying that however your in-laws prepare for you and your guest should not be an issue that will make you lash out at your wife like that... Infact I percieve that all hasnt been well even before the traditional marriage ceremony. Theres a lot of tension around your narrative, your dispoosition towards your wife leaves alot to be desired... She is supposed to be your partner and not the other way around. In summary, because theres alot to say, but in all my advise is for you guys to step up maturity, exclude your in-laws from your issues, treat your wife as a partner, draw her close, take responsibility and resolve the issues in your young marriage. I feel the bulk of the problem lies with you. Also, put God first in all your endeavours.... Your marriage will succeed in Jesus name. Amen

Someone is reasoning. Kudos

SirVintageCock:
When you saw the shoddy arrangement how did you react? Did you lash out at them infront of your guest?
We're you overtly rude and snaggy all through the ceremony?
Did you bother to ask what happened?
How much exactly are we talking about here? If it is below 150-200K and you are expecting an elaborate decorations and awesome feeding like some mini-celebrities then you need to apologize to them with cartons of henessey , a black male goat with double tail and four hollandais wrappers. Because that amount is abysmal in the current economic situation of this country, just kegs of palmwine and other drinks will gulp 50k what about meat for cooking, a bag of good quality rice is 18.5k x 2=37k, semo or whatever they call it nko.
Your wife probably went back home to sulk with her people and lick their wound in solidarity about the resultant effects of the whole charade. You hurt them big and you know it.
We here, are already demonizing them for being leeches and ungrateful and sh!t but you know that ain't the truth. She stayed even after having a baby outta wedlock and you think her family will intentionally ruin her chances of proper marriage just for a few bucks Naaa, I don't think so.
Get your asS to your inlaws, give them chance to explain what happened, apologize and get your family home.

CFCman:
Sue him for like N15,000 in damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress...

Who will pay the lawyer?

xynerise:
Both of them are mentally unstable. So she had time to take pictures of him masturbating?

She's just getting evidence. He would have denied it if she only claimed it verbally. I'd have done same so that I can sue him for harassment if I wanted to. Not like the church rat has anything to offer anyway

Na today dem don dey love una?

After you get money you remember the bleaching fake butt and fake boob instagram girls and forget the ones who loved you when you had nothing.
Nonsense

ebenice:
story that touch

what did the Congolese woman did wrong that warranted the man to sell out the house and elope with another woman

how and when did the new "edo" woman came into d picture that the Congolese woman n son never noticed till hell break out ?

the way some men behaves sha


anyways God help them

Find a way to blame the woman. Nonsense

elfmann:
U see as they r defending his own gay thing..will Iranians or Qatar pple do d same? Quest turned down working with Aljazeera because of his sexual orientation and Qatar's positions. Nigerians are foolish and hypocritical folks.

For real

Inferiority complex. That's the Answer

Prettiepearlz:
Yes ma'am, this stereotype is the problem we young ladies are facing. Everybody keeps stereotyping and some even make it a problem for their kids. Don't marry this tribe because they are like this, stereotyping and putting their kids in deep shit.

Those politics section people can drag you into tribal war that you're not prepared for.

I had no idea this was happening.
Excuse me while I go wipe my tears
I'm touched

Prettiepearlz:
Well at the first paragraph, Cococandy doesn't always support post against men, but she constantly supports post against men that are abusive physically, emotionally and mentally and also men who cheats because cheating is bad, have you seen her speak against men whom their wives describe as caring? I must commend her for that self because from her I learnt it wasn't a norm for men to cheat (because I could remember while growing up I have an uncle who would jokingly tell me not to be like my aunt who constantly complains about his cheating but I should be happy because he chose me), I lived with this mentality until I became frequent on Nairaland family section and I read reasonable comment from people like Cococandy, EfemenaXY, Onegai, Tearoses and even nice men like Thorpido and Siena(a pity he deactivated his account) who spoke constantly against it, at first I don't agree with the school of thought because I was blinded by the African belief of you must make your marriage work irrespective of what happens but these people especially Cococandy schooled me and freed me from that backwardness. They taught me that it's not wise to stay and allow a man abuse me physically and mentally all in the name of saving a marriage, they taught me its not wise to be a slave in a place that is supposed to be my home, they taught me that I wasn't supposed to accept cheating as a norm, they taught me that prayers work to hold marriages but I shouldn't harm myself in a marriage all in the name of staying and praying, I shouldn't go "War Room" in suffering. I received my first knowledge from them and with that knowledge I was able to be a good member of a female support group, I learnt not to ever judge my fellow women especially if I haven't walked in their shoes, I learnt to WAKA PASS if I can't be nice. So tell me in what way is she aggressive? Bring the story of a nice husband and watch how Cococandy will speak well of him. As regards the second bold words, she has always been a happy fellow, it's only people who don't understand her that would refer to her as bitter or aggressive. She is a role model I must tell you and I love her so much. But you people wouldn't agree with her because she refused to be chained by African belief, she is only fighting a good fight. And we female folks appreciate it. Mama Cococandy, your baby loves you so much . Please keep fighting the good fight.

Are you also @scarletmoon? Or something like that.
I was accused of being that person. Want to know if you're her. You pretty

skarlett:
You're already biased and prejudiced towards coco.candy and what she said was indeed the truth. Many men are like op's husband and people like you in society assume a biased stance instead of stating it as it is. The fact is that truth hurts, op has been deceived into marriage with an NFA of a husband. I hope she takes most of the more stringent pieces of advice she's given to heart and implements them. If not she'll end up another black, bitter and disatisfied mother at forty.


And yeah, stop being a hater Mrs Coocandy obviously has a lot going for her than you think.

cruchenuti:
Lol, it doesn't change anything. Constantly supporting post against men at every opportunity says much about who she is.

Saves me mentions? Err mentions is punishment or what? I didn't get that though.

For the record. She was very aggressive last year. She has calm down now. Its that's what happy means. So it means she was sad before. And she's now very much happy.

Well..thank God oh. Na wetin we dey pray for.

See analyst.

No it means my baby is a handful now as she grows older and after dealing with her, I don't have the energy to reply mor0ns like you anymore.

You are dumber than you appear if you think you can judge people's personal lives from the internet.

If you could face the OP and leave Cococandy's happiness or lack of it out of the conversation, that would be nice.

That's it? You guys are in slumber. He will still succeed despite these so called conditions

SirVintageCock:
oh well!! Where is that guy? There you have it,.....and would you mind shutting it a bit there cruchenuti, damn this your moniker is hellish...wth.

Ma'am, don't even think about the last paragraph. If na joke make you stop am abeg.
Career driven wife with a homely attributes is a strong aphrodisiac which makes orgaSm not to be a herculean task. A trophy wife is no different than the girl on the street.

Mmm. Okay o

Prettiepearlz:
Just look at you forming to know so much about Cococandy as a feminist, yet you didn't know that she is gorgeous mother of another cute and beautiful lady. That's too show that she is happy. And next time try to do your research before you comment, it saves you a lot of mentions.

Tell me about it

Prettiepearlz:
What a stereotype! Stop the generalisation and stop speaking for all the Yoruba men like you have been to all their houses to ascertain this fact. Some Yoruba men can't speak for all the Yoruba men. Same also for other tribes. There is no need to start a tribal war here. He is simply a man who speaks for himself and not his tribe. You people just find a way of making everything tribal. Gosh!

CFCman:
It ain't too late ma'am
Age is still on your side. But go easy on the Hermes bags

What is the job of a trophy wife if not to collect a roomful of Hermes bags

The husband would be disappointed if she doesn't.

cruchenuti:
Married woman? Did she tell you that tho ?

Because her support for feminism on NL is way above normal. She has calm down now sef unlike last year.

Unless you know her personally. Don't believe everything you are told. Black feminist supporters aren't usually doing it for the real cost itself. They're doing it out of grief of their current situation. Once they start living a happy life. Their mouth go change.

You're absolutely right about the bolded. I'm feminist because my situation is giving me grief.

Eat some food and get some sleep.

bukatyne:
Your problem is not a lack of employment; your problem is that your husband no longer (did he ever?) respects/love you and I tell you that even if you get a job today, he might have something else to hassle you about.

However, a lot of husbands don't/will not respect their wives if they brought 'nothing' financially to the table; even Yorubas call it 'alabodo'... a wife you feed to mess

@Stay at home mom: why did you decide to stay at home? Was it a joint decision or you felt that was what the home needed at that point. If it's the latter, then it's obviously not what your marriage needs and you need to dust your behind.

You also need to sort out the issue of infidelity (if you are bothered) and bad mouthing.... getting a job will not stop that.

@Men who don't want 'professional' wives who say 'yes sir' to bosses: no everyone aspires to sell rice & beans or have a supermarket...

And it is a delusional to think that you won't say yes sir to your customers if you want your business to grow.

President Buhari still says 'yes sir' to his godfathers.

Only few people have the luxury of not saying 'yes sir' to anyone and there is nothing wrong in serving people. Even the Bible says... You see the man diligent in his business; he will stand before (serve) kings and not mere men.

SirVintageCock:
funny how you are shading cococandy...a married career driven mother of how many again Living her American dream with her husband. Do research before shading peeps na

I love the description.
Married mother of one gorgeous daughter BTW.

In fact the career thing done tire me. I want to give up and become a trophy wife. Is it too late

needforanswers:
Your post was actually very helpful.
It did make me feel better.
Thanks.

I can't tell him to do my housework because he might pick offence and think I am insulting him or trying to bring him down. He won't understand.

I can't leave him either.

I will reduce the comfort at home. Maybe that will help.

Best of luck.

Mindfulness:
I will.



You have options.

I do have options. I'm just momentarily stuck. It's the waiting that's hard.

Mindfulness:
I have a recipe for you for a salad. It's easy to make, healthy and delicious.



Donald will fall deep. It's a matter of time.
Come to Europe. I recommend Spain, Andalusia in particular. It borders on Africa. It's hot and the people there are lovely.

I considered moving there a few years ago but business here is going quite well and I do not want to leave friends and family.

Tag me in the kitchen thread for the recipe.

I wish we could just move anywhere we want

Mindfulness:


I saw your chicken recipe. Looks delicious. I will try it out some time soon.

How is life in the US of A?

Do you miss home?

Post pictures when you do

Nah. I don't miss home.

USA is okay but I'm sorta kinda done. I want to move so bad. Or at least to a warmer state if we can't leave to another country. With Donald trump in power, it's becoming everything I hated about nigeria.

We ladies often fall into such traps because we don't want to be labeled as materialistic or any of those other insulting words people use to describe ladies when they try to make sure the man can contribute financially.

As it is now OP you have to three options.

1) leave him. (drastic huh?)

2) make it clear that he will be the home keeper while you take on the role of provider (and some men are already squirming in their seats).

3) do everything by yourself until you die from the stress. ( probably the choice he'd prefer).

OP I hate to be the one who doesn't have sugar coated words for you but I doubt he will change.
I hope he does.
I'll advice you to Measure your pocket well before you have any kids for now or you will be stuck being a single 'married' mom who has an older adult male child to cater for as well.

Sorry if my post doesn't make you feel better.
But I hope it helps you seriously examine your choices.

Mindfulness:
Sometimes and only to those I like.

hehehe