₦airaland Forum

There is pressure on Nigerian youth, at home and abroad, to produce offspring virtually immediately after the wedding.

I think this approach is unnecessary and dangerous, especially for women.

This expected pressure seems to be baked into marriage calculations by both the finance provider and providee. People wait to be "buoyant enough" before marriage because they expect to cater for their spouse and imminent children.

There are benefits to marriage beyond giving birth. I fear that many lose these potential benefits either by marrying late, marrying someone who they are actually compatible with, or bringing kids they cannot cater for at the time, into the world.


https://imgur.com/fENwEr3

Perhaps I was unclear.

I do not know any divorced couples in Nigeria.

Kobojunkie:
Recall the topic here, or at least my claim was that Nigerian marriages" working in Nigeria because the laws in Nigeria allow it. You brought up cases where the female sit instead as breadwinner and I am wondering at this point how that fits in with the topic we are on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRvFRTXDnUw

Nice stream.

If she can be "snatched" by a yahoo boy then she's not for you. At least not at that time.

BadRadio:
When you think you've found the bones of your bones, one yahoo boy will just come out of the blues and snatch her away from you.


Prospective wife materials are being carried away and these Yahoo boys prey on them.

Yahoo boys pls leave good girls alone so we can see one to marry.

Yahoo boys dont deserve wife material biko

I don't know many divorced couples to start with.

I do know many families where the wife outearns the husband though. Sometimes just a little, sometimes significantly.

Only one of them was/is rocky but more due to their personality than income difference.

Kobojunkie:
How many of such cases do you know of that have ended in divorce or the woman abandoning the marriage, this in Nigeria? And how did it go? I ask because I don't know of many such marriages, myself.

Then what happens when the woman is the breadwinner, as is sometimes the case?

Kobojunkie:
You say this because the marriage laws in Nigeria allowed for the "Nigerian" kind of marriage which basically leaves a woman at the mercy of the man and "breadwinner" right?

Cooooooks

The reliance on anecdotes is scary.

I know someone whose relationship ended because the guy's mom "didn't like people from her state". When I asked why, they said the moms ex was from that state. Same tribe o.

Kobojunkie:
So, in order not to loose everything, marrying a woman and leaving her in Nigeria all but guarantees it won't happen again, right?

Cooooooks

Seems a bit much.

Do gofund me, put me down for 100 dolls

Loreettaa:
I want to go to Dubai!

Crooks??

Loreettaa:
I know one abroadian. His name rhymes with "books"

Madam, which abroadians you dey talk to.

It is well o. This white stuff is just colonized mind and low self esteem.

Loreettaa:
Define "misbehave"

When you guys marry white women, you cook, clean, care for kids and still work and pay bills.
But when you take an African woman who has been marginalised all her life abroad and she realises that women are respected over there and demands more, is that "misbehave"?
You want amaka to go abroad and be spoiling her lovely nails cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner 3 times a day, 7 days a week?
Or you want Abisola who's barely getting any dicking from you, to be praying and fasting and not to go outside and look for some, LIKE YOU DO? You think it's like Nigeria where you can shame her into submission?

For most of you abroadians, we already know you prefer to keep a woman in Nigeria where your family can press her neck if need be.
The day chiamaka comes to obodo oyibo will be the death of your fragile ego.

Poco, you know it's not "men".

This OP sounds like a child.

He thinks people are different?

Everybody has wahala.

pocohantas:
Oh please,

You Nigerian men whine too much.

Marry the ones there, una no gree.
Marry foreigners, another wahala.
Come back home and marry, wailing.

What exactly is happening in a marriage abroad that doesn’t happen here? Or you are afraid you can’t batter her, cheat and pursue her from the home you both built?

Anything you see Naija men complaining of, just know their wickedness has been checked.

The ones with clear conscience and good character might have their fears, but they don’t go on and on about it like this.

The way you guys complain of Naija women, one would think your relationships with foreigners last for long. Abi how many old Nigerian men have you seen with foreign wives? All you’ll be hearing is, I dated one Kenyan, Spanish, Polish, British, Finnish… Why you no marry am?

Just hope for a good partner. Love, respect, forgive and communicate. Even on Mars, you guys would weather the storm.

The law in Nigeria does not condone this "Nigerian marriage".

The society, sadly, still does and access to the law is limited a d expensive.

Kobojunkie:
The law and even society abroad makes a "Nigerian" marriage so many times harder to achieve out here than down there in Nigeria.

The reason why a "Nigerian" marriage works the way it does in Nigeria is because society condones and allows it to thrive as it does down there. Out here, society moves as a pace that all but forces individuals to try to catch up in order to keep up. And so anything that doesn’t fit with the culture of society is quickly put under enormous stress to adapt/evolve or break.

Don't you discuss these things before tying the knot?

I know many married people in Canada and this is not the case.

The closest bad marriage I know is a guy brought a lady he had known for years, a lady who herself had studied abroad but went back to Nigeria. He started maltreating her after honeymoon. After a while, she got fed up and sent him out. Technically, the neighbours called the police on him when he was shouting at her; and she did not tell them to not remove him. Well after sleeping on diff couches, she told him to come back. Since then they have been living in peace and harmony.

adeakin:
nobody say everyone bad. But can you date everyone
I have lived in uk and Canada, let me tell you what some of our women do.
1- the ones based abroad have high taste and typically live above their salary, they can rent a house that takes 80% of their salary while men will typically rent the one that takes 35% of salary. They always want holidays and trips, cooking is seen as slavery to many of them. Any man wey marry them just dey marry wahala . You will even take loans to pay for ring, wedding and honeymoon

2. The women take abroad have chances to get free funding for course like nursing and IT. They later become richer or equal to the man . Then start to rub shoulder. Later they will say i dont need a man and divorce you.

3. Some will call police when una fight or quarrel. You as the man will be asked to leave the house temporarily or permanently. Some of the benefits are paid to the women eg child benefits. Some of our 9ja women spend it alone. Some demand you take care of all bills after you will have 200 dols as saving. While she invests her own salary of like 3k to 5k dols a month in Nigeria or her siblings.

Marriage is looking like a scam these days

You can't have the "Nigerian type of marriage" in Nigeria sef today.

adeakin:
you cant have the Nigerian type of marriage abroad. The law favours women. There is incentive for her to dump you as government will give her free money and she also gets to tak your house lol. My advice to you only marry a lady you know before not a stranger, or you go cry. You can also try other Africans they are homely and gentle. They are not materialistic like our babes

SIMPly, no. This was not mutual.

You're growing resentful.

DannyG8:
My nairalanders people
Is it okay to maintain friendship after breaking up a relationship?
The lady I was dating broke up with me and still wants me to be close to her as always but it's eating me up and I don't know how to handle the situation.

Gun violence in the US will never be taken care of in this lifetime.

What is wrong with stretch marks.

100

Please do not bash her.

She is courageous and lucky to be out alive.

I hope she inspires people, enjoys her life as is.

Man's inhumanity to man.

Didn't the police say they will stop parading people? Could people sue the state/police for libel, especially if they are found not guilty?

Buhari was supposed to usher in strict anticorruption.

Some even felt that this was important regardless of the effect on economic development.

We must reject anybody who comes again with corruption talk.

Hypertension, heart attacks and other silent killers.

Please take care of your health my people.

When the baby is born, people will praise God and prayers.

We really need to normalize adoption.

Could be makeup not bleaching.

Loreettaa:
How did Obj become ooni of ife?
Yourba and bleaching sha. Infact southerners and bleaching.

What is Freud's god/religion assertion?
I've read of Freud but never read Freud.

sageb:
This your assertion corroborate with the psychonalytic psychology proponent, Sigmund Freud.
He termed it " A childlike Neurosis "
Do you believe Freudian assertion about God and Religion?

Another keyboard warrior.

AllahIsGarbage:
Please stay in school dimwit

You derailed the thread.

In hate, you became what you despised. Smh.

Datboredberry:
Ofcourse! That's the point...

Oh! I'm very sorry...but I'm afraid this thread would be taken over by men seeking innocent pure and virtuous women like you and I and the other sweet women who commented...

puke puke.

Datboredberry:
Ofcourse! That's the point...

I need a truly worthy man...

Oh! I'm very sorry...but I'm afraid this thread would be taken over by men seeking innocent pure and virtuous women like you and I and the other sweet women who commented...

To be honest, I've received messages from a few... detailing how they would manhandle and ravage me...all for my hymen.

I'll say goodbye now... this is too risky!

Deliverance is calling your name.

Candidlady:
cant use candle for a reason icant explain!

my crazy friend had one nokia torchlyt then we'd place it on vib, insert it into the "cd player" then ring the number in the phone! Sweet tripz and vibez!

Loreettaa:
Cooooooks, hopefullandlord, hahn, atheistandproud...
Dem dem dem

And your intelligent did not allow you question that beer parlour statistic?

AllahIsGarbage:
So before 2014 there were no atheists in Nigeria? I thought the main attraction of atheism was supposed to be its reliance on intelligence.