₦airaland Forum

Sammy07:
I agree with you


Temptation of leaving her for another girl
Temptation of impregnating another girl
Temptation of not seeing her beauty anymore
Endless temptations

But these temptations are always with us even after marriage.
They don't show up at marriage preparations like you said.

subtlemee:
one month is okay for all preparations to be met because as soon as you start planning marriage there are always too many temptations that can make you want to quit so give no room for that

Many temptations?
How?

Joystark:
At least my own no reach this level.

Is there a mix between Ex and In?

I think I'm in between two worlds.

Same here

MamaFryo:
Why do we have to set the phrase aside. It is clearly written that evil spirit from the Lord. All your explanations would have been valid if what is written was "...and evil spirit came to torment Saul". Why must it come from the Lord? We are meant to know that He is holiness in perfection, no trace of evil in Him, so how can evil spirit come from him? Going by the common Christian sense, God is positive while devil is negative. So, why can positive come from negative? Is there negativity in positivity?

The questions you are asking are questions you can figure out yourself.
But it appears you are operating from a low level of consciousness or knowledge about God and the universe.

midnighter:
She was trivialising the value of chastity by bringing in opposing concepts such as being a harlot which doesn't make any sense.

If you built a house with your sweat and somebody said "Ehn, no be house wey Atiku build, even armed robber dey build na, all house na house" don't you think you would find it irritating?

That is "pull me down" or "crabs in a bucket" syndrome that is very common among black people.

The OP was talking about signs of good upbringing. Instead of them to raise other points of good upbringing that should be considered in conjunction with the virginity stuff like being neat, being able to cook, being prudent with money, etc they jumped and started taking about sluts and slay queens to make themselves feel better smh

Everybody knows that the sole act of keeping a flap of skin intact can never automatically make somebody a good person so there's no need for all these machinations.

Let's assume that OP is looking to marry a virgin and wants to validate his decision or choice of marrying a virgin from this thread.
Now if everybody start praising virgins without starting the truth of the matter, OP will validate his decision and may end up making some serious mistakes in this regard.

So allow the negative side of view about virgins that looks like attracts on virgins because it help balance the equation.
So that people who look to get advice on virgins from here won't make mistake.

I hope you understand that not all virgins are made out of decision.

A vast majority of virgins are made out of lack of opportunity.

But most lack of opportunity virgins are mostly below 20

Akinbahm:
Help me tell them cause I dont know their motive behind the sudden attack on a virgin. If you are not virgin you dont need to paint those virgin as a bad one all because u felt inferior to them.

Funny enough threads on virgin this days is alarming, when they tell you to keep your chastity u wont listen now u ranting around, confuse sets of people tueh...

I don't think anyone is attacking virgins.
People are just trying to state the obvious fact. That fact that being a virgin doesn't automatically make anyone a good person or good wife material.

akaahs:
What character is more than self discipline, good morals and sticking with what is right?
To me oo any girl that can keep herself up to marriage, ll equally has strong character in other
areas

Have you heard of foolish virgins before?
Not all virgins are virgins out of self discipline. Some virgins are virgins out of lack of opportunity.

Aside lack of opportunity, and self discipline, some people can be very proud, disrespectful unforgiving heart with no fear of God.

The fact that they haven't had sex before doesn't change anything.

So watch out for the characters of a virgin before you regret for the rest of your dear life.

AshiraWealthy:
Oh.. ...so Nairaland men are not serious? I see.

NL men are Audio men.
One real life male can be 20+ NL male.

Tallesty1:
And fear anyone one that doesn't fear them

Relax brother. Women are human beings.
You are not advised to be afraid of your fellow human beings.

Fear is a vice with a tormenting power!

Why on earth will you be afraid of women, and also be afraid of men who doesn't women?

When you hear a story that touch like that, you only hear it in part. There is always more to each and every story you hear.

Is not everything that you can know.

But understand that nothing just happen in this life. The law of cause and effect will explain more to you.

What if the man previously saw the negative signs but decide or choose to ignore it?

In the man's post, he did mention that they were trying to track the man that his wife claimed to have raped her.

Why was he trying to track the man?

That should tell you another side of the story.

Btw, you can start fearing me because I don't fear women and will never fear them.

BadRadio:
the pride of a lady as they say is in her virginity, which is socially or societally translated as a sign of good home Training and moral upbringing.

is this a fact or a myth?

There are good virgins as well as bad virgins.

Good virgins are the ones with good characters.
While bad virgins are the ones with bad characters

Don't marry her just because she's a virgin.
Check her character. If she possess good characters along with her virginity, then wife her.

Godpikin4real:
Soon az in very very very soon when the right Mr Right cMNomes along.

Are you miss right?

IkpuNneGi:
You just showed how foolish you are

After writing casted you're now saying it is still alive

Easy bro. You need positive thoughts and calmness to win the games

Marakajaakkli:
The best thing that will ever happen to you which practically move you from where you are and the place you need to be is to discover yourself. This is the lost script you‘ve been looking for.

When you get it out, then you‘d learn to make the vision clear. So that he that run will read and act on it.


John 1:9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

1:10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.

1:11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.

1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 1:13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

Sorry, but you just committed the sin of deception.
What happens to honesty?
I doubt your christian status for being deliberately dishonest!

Brother, repent first before you preach!

dominique:
Why must they stay? Is there a written rule that a couple must have family members living with them? Some of these extended families come for other missions apart from eating free food. Some come to sow seeds of discord between husband and wife, some come to monitor how you live and go and broadcast it to the rest of the family, some are there to sexually abuse your little children.

You'd think you're doing a noble thing by opening your home to family members whose real intentions are not known. Just pray it doesn't backfire horribly. Any visitation that extends beyond 2 weeks is intrusion period.

This is the case of evil relatives.
I don't subscribe to giving access to bad people in my home.

WritePal:
Very true. If a man speaks well of and respects his family members to his wife in private, the wife will too.

But when as a man, you speak ill or poorly of your siblings & parents with her in the bedroom, she will dislike them and show it in the open by being intolerant and unfriendly.

It's all about THE HAND OF ESAU & THE VOICE OF JACOB.

End of Story.

You get the idea. Women are like children when they come into the life of a man.
They learn and adapt very fast. They are very smart too. They have their own characters and behaviors. But they usually put their behaviors on hold to study their husbands behaviors including how their husbands relate to their people.

After they have successfully captured their husbands behavior and understands how they relate with their parents and relations, they (wives) release their own characters and behaviors base on that of their husbands.

And they will release the behaviors that will suit their husbands behaviors.

If you observe carefully, you will see that there is no magic anywhere.

Women don't come out from no where to stop their in-laws access to their son house. Those women are only doing their husbands bidding.

The men are just hiding behind their wives.
The men are manifesting their desires to keep their families away through their wives so that their families will not know that they are the real culprit!

Many people will argue or deny this fact. But that is exactly how it happened and is happening today.

Ryan03:
you see the woman (wife) as manipulative and a liar but the other women (mother and siblings) that you want to bring in to stay permanently are not manipulative and they dont lie? See how you cause problems for yourself

Thank you!
Most of the women are this, women are that are caused by the men. Men are the ones creating most of the problems and putting the blame on the women.

bigcee:
See them. Na dem dem be this...

Very bad mentality! Imagine that kind of mindset? How can she be so possessive again her future in-laws?

But she will only succeed if she get married to a like minded fellow. A husband who also doesn't want his people around.

Otherwise she will have to drop the idea or remain single for ever

Ilekokonit:
He who has ears let him hear and LEARN from someone who has REAL LIFE experience.

Most Nigerian women are competitive DESTROYERS and their common game plan is to isolate the man by quarrelling with or ensuring he quarrels with ALL those who can give him good advice or refuge and once he is isolated from his friends and family, she will then have a free hand to deal with him RUTHLESSLY and for good measure, she will also turn his children against him.

WHAT WICKED SOULS BLACK WOMEN HAVE BECOME.

There is no love in their hearts, just cunningness, lies, greed and WICKEDNESS.

The truth is that 100% of women want to control their husbands and be in charge.
It is the duty of the man to tame his women. Women are very smart and intelligent beings. They start gently and softly watching your reactions.
You must stop her at the very start.
But if you say you are in love and you don't want to lose her by ignoring her early negative signs, she will become ungovernable later.

I insist that no woman wake up from no where to manipulate any man without the man cooperation

Evercurious:
Sorry .. THAT GUY IS VERY MUCH ON POINT..IT'S NOT HIS PERSPECTIVE, BUT THE TRUTH

If you're consistently told a lie for a long time, after some time, you will accept that lie to be the truth.
But it doesn't change the fact that you are believing a lie.

engrchykae:
not always true,the women blackmail their husbands threatening fire and brimstone to have their way.
My wife once told me not to travel home during Xmas because she knew I would spend on my parents,I refused citing that Xmas is the only time I can spend with them due to the nature of my work,she started denying me sex from that day till she finally packed her things and left.
This is what many men are trying to avoid not knowing that this type of women ruin men.
My uncle's wife turned my father and his brother into enemies and last December she left to marry another young man after 8 kids,two of her children have married oh.
My point is never try to patronize them.
If they want to go,let them go.

The question is; when your wife left you, did you die? Don't give your power away to women. If you try it, they will rubbish later and faster!

Sorry, but it is your uncle that doesn't want his brother around. It wasn't his wife. Your uncle just pretend so you guys will think that it is his wife.

You will agree with me that your uncle has all the power in this world to stop his wife from trying rubbish. But he failed to use that power. Why did he fail to use that power?
At the end, didn't his wife left him?

You must understand how to handle women early on before they turned to something else

I think I will create a thread on how to follow or handle women so many people will know that women are very simple. But they can be very frustrating if you don't know their codes

Youngzedd:
You underestimate women. They are naturally manipulators, same goes to telling lies. That's how they are made, you need to understand that and flow with them.

I think you really need to study more to understand women.

Sorry, but something is wrong with your thought patterns.
And because your persistent thoughts will always find a way to manifest itself, women will always manipulate you!

Then you will complain about women not knowing that you created the condition you experience or experiencing.

This is what so many people fail to know. So they end up creating problems for themselves.

The same way you accept and concluded that women are created manipulators, is the same way many people said women are evil. But they want an evil thing to be good to them.

I know how women behaves. So I don't need to study any thing about them.

Women are like children in their parents hand.

Children grow up and becomes obedient to their parents, or rebellious against their parents depending on HOW they are brought up.

Papasmal:
So sad that some ladies of nowadays are desperate and trying to bite more than they can chew....

If as a man you can't set boundaries you are a weak man....if you can't accommodate my dear relations who doesn't pose threat to our marriage,then there's no reason getting married to me the first place,


after my mama sell all rapper to cater for me,I carried ponpon n shovel to do odd jobs with my brother to get knowledge n acquire skills....one agaracha monkey babe will now try turn them to my enemy God forbid...

I thank God for blessing me with a good wife though..We are all one big family,made me to love her more.

Do you know the truth of this matter?
No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband.

No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so.

I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want.

But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front, and putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families.

Free the women! They are not the problem.
Their husbands is!!

Iwantpeace:
pls wat wisdom do u suggest I apply now?

You seem to be a good woman. But I don't like the fact that you let your husband to beg you for the stay of his immediate brother. Looks like your husband is weak!

Apart from that, you look good!

Now here is what you should do.

For once in your life, decide to be a Super Women!
How?
Take life very simple. Consider what your husband bro is doing as nothing.

Over look and tolerate it the same way you did before marriage and you will be fine.

You must see that guy as a temptation in your home. A temptation you must overcome to maintain your good wife status.

Otherwise, the very thing you tried really hard to avoid before the marriage will still happen now

Youngkingjaey1:
A guy can cheat and still love his babe or wife
But when a ladies cheats, she does not love you anymore

Pls ladies and gentle men is this statement true.

Women love with their hearts.

Before a normal girl can give you sex, she must first give you her heart!

The reason is because women consider sex as the highest thing they can give in relation to their body.

Forget about the physical action. When it comes to sex, for women, the whole thing have to do with their hearts.

That's why before you can have sex with any normal lady, you must first win her heart.

So before a girl cheat, there must be a major shift in her heart of love from her current love.

But for men, it is not so. Man's love is entirely different from that of women.
Man cheat just for the pleasure.

SwagPower:
I love my sister to bits.Shes my most favourite person in the whole world.
She's married to this guy..Good guy,Quiet,Mr nice guy basically a Beta Male.

She runs circles about him.

I'm torn between doing right by her since she's blood ...But I also feel sorry for her hubby as a guy ..Thing is I want to help him to be more assertive and Man his house..How do I do this without it backfiring on my sister..

Matured responses please..
(Let's make this discourse like something on Quora or Reddit).

Your sister is taking an unfair advantage of her husband. You really wish you could help, but unfortunately there is nothing you can do to help him.

Being a good nice guy is not a problem.
But if a guy doesn't know how to be assertive while being good and nice, then he will suffer hell in the hand of a lady be it wife or girlfriend.

Do you think your sister's husband doesn't know about his wife behaviour?

Of course he knows. The problem is that he was aware of those characters earlier but he decided to ignore and allowed it.
Trying to stop it now will be disastrous. So he have to endure it.

Before you try to advise or stop your sister, note that what you are seeing now doesn't start today. It started a long time ago and have come to stay. That's how that marriage will continue to be.

Did you know that your sister successfully tested her husband assertive nature several times and found that her husband is very weak and that nothing will happen if she act the way she is acting?

dapo456:
there's difference between the confidence to making money and confidence to approaching ladies, or taking their shits. For the confidence money, alot of things can drive you, family, friends, mentor etc, for woman, when you don't have money you might not even remember where your cucumber is, you have to be excited and except you are naturally a happy person who doesn't care about his present situation. even davido said it, "pepe rest o, when money come man get the liver!!!" in his song assurance.

i've been cutting business deals, doing presentations for companies, having round table meeting for business discussion with managers of companies since i was 19 years old, money didn't come at that early stage and i never asked any woman out, i rely on having good looks so that women can give me good attention or green light then i can have the liver to do the rest. meanwhile, these set of women were not my type of women, But as soon as i started making real money, i would approach any ladies of my choice, big girls i mean, then i realised even the simple girls are the greatest .... you get the gist. Don't get me wrong i don't flirt.

in summary , make money, moderate income or atleast be happy with yourself first, all other women things will fall in place.

You just confirmed what I said earlier.

"Without confidence, one can't attract money or women"

Confidence is the same. There's nothing like confidence for money making and confidence for getting women.

What exist is approach.

Making money and getting women demands for different approaches but with the same confidence.

A close look at confidence should tell you that without confidence, you will most likely fail at anything you want to achieve and not just women alone

owolabi16:
CAN I HAVE YOUR WHATSAPP NUMBER

Sure thing. 07036741556

dapo456:
You can't have all these qualities without money, without money you can't have confidence or be romantic etc

Sorry, but reverse is the case.
Without confidence, you can't have money.
Confidence comes first before money.
I understand that it is hard to be confident if one doesn't have money.

And that's why you must develop yourself to have confidence.

This confidence we are talking about is a state of mind. A belief system of in your life that help boost your morals.
When you have it in abundance, even money itself will be attracted to you.

kecee99:
Nice write up op but pls shed more light on the confidence part

I'm not the Op. But permit me to explain it more to you.

Being confident is a state of mind that you must possess if you want to succeed at anything that is important to you including women. It is the belief and trust that you have in yourself that you will succeed, and that you will not fall in life.

In summary, Op is saying that you should be confident in yourself, and women will be attracted to you. And you will not be chasing after women.

This rule is very correct. But there is more to it than than this thread can handle.

Now let me explain what confidence will do for you if you have it in full possession.

1. It takes away your fear of losing a girl.

Do you know that it is the fear of losing a girl that make men to do what they are not suppose to do and went through hell just because they don't want to loose a girl?

When you are confident in yourself, you will not be afraid of losing her because you know that you can always get another hot chick easily. So you will be yourself. The girl will also notice that confidence in you. Then she will do everything to stay with you and not you doing everything to keep her.

2. It will make you set goals for myself and make practical plans to achieving it.

Confident people are not lazy people! You can't afford to be lazy when you have confidence in yourself that you will succeed because you can't afford to fall.
Everytime you will be very busy, making plans upon plans and taken good actions that can help you succeed.
You don't even have much time to think about women. It is part of what attracts them to a man. Girls are not attracted to a man for nothing. Especially a man that is not counting in millions yet.

Like I said earlier, there is more to this rule that this thread can handle. So I will just stop here

czarr:
I understand your analogy, and I agree it's safer, but it's not enough reason to have poor bedroom performance just because you think she can't tell the difference...tokunbo isn't better, but if you don't maintain your tear rubber,....it's going to turn into something else real fast.

Virgins with good characters are GOLD!
Very rare to come by. You must be extremely lucky to find one.
The only down side is that they are somehow boring! You will have to teach them everything sex. They are however happy, ready to learn and explore.
So they give without any reservation.

They have no ex to compare you with. You become their teacher, lover and friend at the same time. And they go to their grave with you in their mind. AKA they will never forget you.

If you stick to him/her, you will be safe and free from STDs.

In fact, it is the best experience ever as far as relationship is concerned.