₦airaland Forum

Kimoni:
Naija babe, I have started work oooo your girl remains loyal ma

And pls give me your Ekene Dili Chukwu bus stop. I no know wetin be post code o

Kimoni Abeg what is that leaf in the sink.

Naijababe I tried to do 'eating clean' ayamase. very lil oil it was not just it ejoor

Abeg e no be it hubby said ki ni eleyi nitori oloun ayamase no be am without epo shayin(me and my Yoruba ) all over it all join the zillions of calories

.Besides se person fit eat ayamase with quinoa or cous cous chai e no easy o

Ewuro4:
You noticed that too?

When your kid starts to ask why you arent dressed for work on your off day then there's FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN

I stopped that looooong time ago. I tell other mothers to Chillax their muscles for Pilates or a quite walk.

Disarray is okay. dusty & dirty,(soiled) .. can't stand those.

You are right.. It's very difficult to have a Spick and span house wth young kids.. The more you try the more stressed one is.

Like you said one should strive for clean not tidy.

fem29:
Yes ooo you are soo right, it's mentally and emotionally tiring. I REALLY wish I could have gone back to work since but full time nursery for twins in London is ridiculously expensive. Thank God school starts in September. I love my girls but it has been a hellish 4 years

It is well dear

Funny enough some times you miss it when you eventually go back to work.My office overlooks a park and I had a pang of jealousy when I saw some mums playing with their lil ones in the parky today cos the weather was so nice. everything is a season.

I am a bit OCD and also cant stand to see disarray but these days I am learning what Yorubas call amojukuro before i could sweep and even mop sef 10 times a day.But now I pile up the mess and tidy it up like 1hr before bedtime I can't kee myself joor that's hubby's style when he is with them and I realise he is less stressed when he is with them I even found they prefer him staying with them sef cos he does not say 'tidy up' 'get down ' 'stop it' ' don't touch it' 100 times a day.

H

Ewuro4:
Damiso... nostalgia, Water corporation all the way ni before dad got a bore hole too.

I agree to get help with water fetching but also talk to hubby in regards to being involved. Some men just don't like being forcefully summoned to doing stuff especially after a long day at work, you gonna have to tame them like a cat

We went to Disney store yesterday and saw this beautiful Cinderella dress ( beige one) , I checked the ptag and saw $120 , na head rub I began dey do, 'iwo naa sha ni baba won', oko mi, olowoori mi ale mi.

When a woman can't talk her husband effectively then something's wrong somewhere.

Sis I am not actually one of those people who think that a man that does not do chores in the house is a bad husband. I grew up in a home where I never really saw my dad doing chores cos he never really had to ,there were loads of people to do it.Come to think of it even my mum never really did chores chores as in sweeping,washing plates, etc.She did more of coordination. I was still joking with her when she was around recently that it's obvious she is not used to all this pick kids, cook dinner from scratch(meal prep wash fish etc) as she was already 'madam' at my age and stage of marriage .She just laughed and said am not serious.

That said I learnt from them trying to be kind and treat other nicely. Those days I am talking about I & my siblings were still relatively young and we had house helps and scores of relatives living with us. During this water shortages all these older ones would have to carry buckets and go to neighbouring streets to look for water.

Dad would come back and say 'omi melo ni e fe pon Pelu bucket gan stress Ati wahala yii ti poju'meaning how much water will you people actually be able to fetch with buckets plus all the energy expended oya get in the car lets go to Unilag. He had a number of prof friends and Unilag always had water supply. He just could not stand to see these young people go through so much stress just to get water. and this trips could be like 5 times and with him just getting back from work. In his beloved v booth

These were people he was feeding and sponsoring their education and in the case of the house helps even paying for their services.

Not to talk of ones wife or kids .. Haba

He looked for a solution as soon as possible as even that using the car was just enough for everyone to have their bath the next day.

I grew up knowing that a man looks for ways to make life easy for his family. I even got my 'laziness' from my parents anything to make life easy for me , I go for.

fem29:
Well said dear.

The thing is men really need to be more undstanding about house work after kids are born. Even a woman that is confident that she can take care of a house by herself can never imagine how much more work she will have once she has kids, especially toddlers. Cleaning a house that grown ups live in is a very different kettle of fish from cleaning a house with kids in it. They are just mess making machines. With grown ups, you prob sweep once a day or 2 days. With kids you sweep several times a day. My kids literally go from room to room messing everywhere up, food crumbs everywhere, paint on the tables, cut up paper all over the floor, toys toys toys, get into the kitchen and scatter garri everywhere, clothes taken out of drawers and strewn everywhere. It is overwhelming.

Men PLEaSE once you have kids, your life HAS to change as well. Don't be saying your wife changed after giving birth, tes she did dos she is under immense pressure if you do not help her out. Stop being so bloody lazy, you will not die if you some work around the house.

You can say that again toddlers are just something else I swear I was far more tired when I was home with my son than now I when I get back from work or should I say its a different type of tiredness.I used to feel emotionally and physically drained. Now its more a mental tiredness.

OP try and see if you can get help as most people have said esp with the fetching water part. That is one of the most frustrating jobs ever. If it means cutting down on other expenses, try to outsource that ASAP. And make your hubby pay for it if you cant afford it . Sometimes you need to do something radical to get results, its because he is still seeing water to bathe and clean clothes.The day he is going out for a meeting and realises that there is no water to take a bath, he will realise he has to help or PAY to get water in the house. Just be prepared that you might not also bathe or do anything with water but believe me he will begin to see the effort it takes to get the water.msheww.

And for those saying ALL housework and chores belongs to women, na wa for you o

I grew up seeing men being in charge of fetching water and one of my husbands less palatable memories of Nigeria was looking for water all over Ibadan

I remember before we had a borehole and we used to rely on Water Corporation, my dad used to do multiple trips with 50 litre kegs or jerry cans ( the more naija word ) in the car scouring round Lagos looking for water during water shortages. At a point he actually had to shell out money to BUY tanks of water.

justfarb2:
tanks for your replies, can't stop laughing and i will work on the speed of my blog. please check it out. it's a personal/women lifestyle blog. please spare one minute of your time and share the Url: http://www.justfarbblog.com to all your social media platforms.. Thanks for commenting guys, hugs and kisses. Ideas and suggestions are welcomed to increase my traffic and better my blog generally.

I like you jare its not easy to run a blog.

SMH .. I think some people just leave their brains at the door whenever they encounter pastors

I have one big business woman Aunty she says if she wants to do business with a person and she just heard in passing that you are a pastor,deacon and the likes that's the end of that business transaction That's just sad but who can blame her with what all these 'Charlatans' get up to

SAMBARRY:
cry because of ordinary ologbo



all this fragile nigerian Oyinbo shidren sef



I even skipped the part where I said you will pour hot water on it to peel away all the fur on it's skin

awwww poor kitty I know its hyprocritical since I eat chicken,goat cow but baby and domestic animals are just things I try not to picture myself eating.

Cats,dog,rabbit and one of the reasons why I find it difficult eating lamb.

You are lucky you are not here RSPCA for don jail you tey tey you cant even chain a dog outside the house like we do to guard dogs in Naija

bukatyne:
The topic still doesn't match AM Yoruba story in the OP

The story is not coherent.

Its not easy to articulate aproko or amebo

SAMBARRY:
Edwife so you are scared of cats



one of the easiest creatures to kill is cats . Why should you be scared of cats.


Ok let me teach you how to get rid of your fear byy learning how to kill cats.


just put it in a sac. Make sure there's no escape route or any loophole where it can escape and attack you. The sac is for heat to suffocate it.tie the sac very tightly then roll the sac over your head to the air like fan then slam where it's head is positioned with force on a cemented ground like you're breaking coconut
Several times

make sure it is not moving struggling or anything like that before you open. Be sure it's dead. If blood is already dripping from its ears and it's lifeless then you can open the sac and start dismembering the parts. Lobatan


you'll see you'll never be afraid of cats and you'll prefer them in your soups

SAMBARRY not a big fan of cats but this your description is giving me the eebie jeebies

My daughter will cry for days if she could read this

bukatyne:
I agree even though the OP never said women shouldn't be submissive.

The OP sounds like African Magic's Yoruba movies

I can see the thread title has been modified

Nigerians we can like to stereotype( I am guilty too sometimes sha) bleaching woman= runs gal

Even though it is true that runs gals and high maintenance chics tend to bleach ( its difficult to be buying £500 cream from 9 to 5 work ) it does not however make every bleaching woman a runs chic.

coogar:
don't watch it - it's a lesbo-fest!

Is there any tv series today that does not have some sort of gay s x scenes these days? its bound to be a lesbo fest though its set in female prison

Don't worry I will cover my eyes when I get to those scenes

naijababe:
More like picking her battles and fortunately for her she sabi press ignore button unlike you

How's that insult app coming along?

coogar and naijababe stop e bullying me joor

I am waiting for your insult app coogar without it I cant keep up with the insults that I see flying around NL everyday As soon as you launch it ( and pay me my commission for giving you the idea ) I swear you will start seeing me fight more on NL.

As soon as I get into a fight I will just consult the app and be throwing missiles by the dozen

bukatyne:
The topic says 'Be submissive and not silly'

How can the OP now be against submission?

The thread title and thread content are not very aligned.

bukatyne:
The topic is clearly for submission and cautions women to be submissive and not silly.

She is not against submission

The OP is another thing altogether.

She was trying to say that the wife was being submissive and silly by not recognising that her husband had the effrontery to invite his runs gals to their child's party , So she should have dealt with the hubby and the runs gal there and then or maybe he would not have done that if she was not submissive. I don't get what submissive has to do with disrespectful or cheating husband.

The thread title should have dealt more with the disrespect of the man that is if the girls were indeed runs gal and dating the husband .Yes runs gals tend to bleach to increase their market value as Nigerian men like yellow gals but not all women who bleach are runs gals.

edwife:
I swear i can't deal!

It is time for the Government to do something about the word "submissive"

na wa

naijababe:
Is it any good? Been ignoring it for a while now



Welcome to the parry even if you are two years late

Over late sef still on Episode 7 of series one.

Would have caught up over the weekend but all this your people wont stop inviting person for party I have two owambes on Saturday plus one on Sunday grrr

MMotimo:
Neither am I but it seems like stuff like that happened in ancient times. Now, too many depend on their lovers to show them the good life. Very unfortunate

Good Life is even relative. Yes not all parents might have been able to afford taking their children out ALL the time. But just generally spending time with them.

But all parents can afford to instil good morals in their girl child to recognise that the 'goodness' or lack of it of a man is not the ability to take you out and buy you stuff.

Going for a stroll or drive with my dad with just Okin biscuit and water was so precious to me as a child because i knew my dad was a busy man and taking that time out to spend with me showed just how much i was important to him. My dad would wake us up on Saturday morning just to gist with you ( i used to roll my eyes as a teenager at those annoying 'what's up with you conversations like which teenager wants to truly gist about her crushes with her dad ) but now i appreciate and love his memory more for it.

Just caught 'The Orange is the new Black Bug' and i am liking it.

edwife:
It is not a must to open a thread and please learn to mind your business!

You don't know that the wife so as not to appear 'submissive' should have chased the girls plus her hubby out of her child's party based on the 'FACT' that all bleaching woman are runs girls and are definitely dating her husband '

NL and comic relief

naijababe:
I know, all these kiddies who prolly still are running in their pants rolling tires in the neighbourhood. (Where is the rolling my eyes emoticon, Seun?)

I need that emoticon badly..it will really help save me typing on a lot of occasions.

naijababe:
Binu sha Dami, omo yen o handle ibinu now.

O ma pami lerin gan

Sometimes its just better to be amused at some comments and perspectives on NL

naijababe:
Too right, talk about being a pacifist to the core. I bet damiso does not kill flies in her house sef because she does not want any blood on her hands

Kimoni:

I recall Coogar saying you are the only one who can stop the war between ISIS and the rest of the world. I may have to agree with him now

My husband will disagree You don't want to see me when I start my ijogbon its an entirely different side that I must admit I hate showing up. Cos my mother calls it Sango anger when it does show up If me and someone fight ,most people who know me will take my side without even hearing the story because they know for me to fight you, you deserve it I can give people verrrrrry long rope but once I have had it I burn the rope.

I wont waste those fighting skills on NL. I need it to win more important battles for me in Life Besides its meant to be an anonymous forum so why I go dey waste my time fighting someone I don't know? Whose persona might be mileeeees way from what they potray here.

That said I think the issue a lot of people have on NL is that they believe that everyone should have the same thought process as they do. We all have different orientations and thoughts on issues.


All the endless arguments( make I no lie sha some of them are quite hilarious and make good comic relief on stressful days at work ) have still not made all the NL feminists non feminists and the non feminist feminists so its pointless in my own opinion.

naijababe:
What are you going to do if I don't quit quoting you?

You can do better than old hag nau, is that the only insult you know? Abi stringing a few sentences of coherent insult a tall order for you inconsequential and minuscule brain ni?

Sister mi ti binu o ejoor ema binu omode lo da lamu

Very funny thread as are most threads on Feminism on NL

One thing though; I don't get the relationship between a woman accepting her husband is the head of the home =cheating husband?

Na wa for some kain generalisations on NL

I know feminism is about giving women the CHOICE to do what they want and what I cant stand on NL is when one set of women feel they are better or more 'intellectual' than the other because that woman believes or has a different set of ideals.

All these feminist/non feminist women squabbles are highly unnecessary in my own opinion

If you are Feminist - Good for you stop attacking women who might have different ideals

If you are a non- feminist- Also good just stop throwing 'shades'( I learnt that word on NL ) at those who believe that they are.

For the men if you hate feminists don't marry one ( to be honest there are more non feminist women in Nigeria than there are feminist so a larger pool to choose from ) Forget NL the no of women who want to actually want challenge the status quo is negligible.

For those who think being a Feminist means you always have to see things from anti- male angle Ok o God will help you. And for the males also who see any woman who refuses to be maltreated or treated unjustly just because she is a woman as a Feminist may God help you too.

edwife:
Lol you guys and your tv series,i only stay up late during the weekend-i need my sleep beside Dami it's very unhealthy.

I need my sleep too.. I cant do without eating and sleeping well.

I slept at 10pm last night and I feel soooo much better and alert this morning.

tearoses:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_8mdH20qTQ

coogar ewuro4 damiso edwife efemena

crazy cat

LOOL very crazy cat, But what do you expect from Cats very cunning and mysterious creatures

Thank you all.
I really appreciate your prayers and your support. And thank you to everybody who put a word of support or prayer for me.

And to everybody who mailed me, you can still contact me there as I am deactivating this profile. And I have your numbers too so I can call. Im not in the frame of mind to put any further information here for e-people to pat themselves on the back and gloat over.

Like I said, he that is down needs fear no fall. I cannot fall further than I have. It simply cannot be worse than it is. Yes, I know. The STI tests and all. I will do them. If fine, then good. If not, then this is the card Ive been dealt and I have no choice than to live my life as healthily as I can.

I only needed to vent till I take a step and I have. Mission accomplished. For now.

At most, I resign and I leave Nigeria. Perfect opportunity to chase my other dreams. I start a new life. And he can too.
People have done it and people will still do it. If that is what happens, then fine! I'm OK with it.

It will only be a new phase of life which I will adapt to.

So regardless of what anyone here or anywhere says or does. This does not define me. I did nothing wrong in this case.
And when all has been said or done, I WILL BE FINE!!

Indeed you will.. I hope you are able to sort this out and take whatever decision you feel works best for you.

Ewuro4:
Damiso, maybe I'm the only one that anticipated Jack and beck hook up but isn't that the typical lead roles sexcapade expectation? ( castle, bones, etc) , don't worry they'll break it off soon then hook up again and again till season 10... You know the sequence

I've watched too much TV aswear.

I recorded another new one on Bravo, lemme check the name sef.

God Knows I am suffering this afternoon because of the the 'Orange is the new Black' binge fest last night ( God help me ) I should know better that I cant function on less than 7 hours sleep on a working day I hear exceptional people survive on less than 4 hours sleep so I guess I am unexceptional then. I had one long boring meeting and I had to be singing in my head to prevent me dozing off.

I am leaving all screens downstairs when I go to bed tonight

True sha about the lead role romantic coupling

Hello everyone how una dey.

I really can't think of anything else to say that that has not already been said BUT;

CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND

I would go with onegai's method. I don't think I could bottle stuff up the way you have cos I might have had a heart attack or stroke by now.

I have learnt with time to censor how the words will come out but if I don't tell my husband my mind I could fall ill. I tell him if I don't tell you the truth who will?so yeah I am your greatest cheerleader but I will also tell you when I think you are going astray.Thats love in my own opinion

So please for the sake of your sanity and health; CONFRONT HIM

Dads tend to do things in a less conventional way and kids enjoy that.I would always pick going out with dad over mum and swore that I would be more laid back with my own kids.

Sadly or is it karma my kids think dad is more fun than me he lets them turn the house upside down, mixes over sweet ribena, puts sugar in cereal (behind my back sha), allows them to pick out all the veg from their food,gives them what they want to eat as opposed to what is good for them etc etc so yeah I think they think he is more fun.

taryour:
I mentioned you in my post but its not showing, including edwife,damiso,efemenaXY, abi seun has added another button on the list I am not aware of ni?

Thanks for your wish sis. God bless you.

hope you had a fun day.God bless you too.

Ewuro1 abi is it 4 watching Stalker who would've thought jack and Beth :DI always thought he would get back with his sons mum.