₦airaland Forum

Happy birthday cocoanut hope you had a lovely day Gods blessings now and always

I really think the wealth being a character multiplier is sooo true.. When people say 'he/she made money and he/she changed' I think that's who they always were.There is even a Yoruba saying for it.A good person is always a good person regardless of money.

That said it takes a very very high level of scruples not to compromise a bit on certain moral issues eg tax avoidance.Me and hubby had this argument when the HSBC issue was in the news.He said in a way all those millionaires were actually not breaking any laws as some tax havens and tax avoidance schemes are perfectly legal.I said sometimes it's not about what is legal but what is morally right.(and he calls himself a progressive )

He said it's easy to say that now you are on PAYE but let's see how easy it would be for you when the taxman wants to take 50% of your wealth.I honestly think I would pay my fair share but then do I know if I really would

EfemenaXY:
I did think about deferring it to September this year and mentioned it to them, but it's like postponing the inevitable. CC it's a small school o! Just one class per year. Everyone wants it. We don't even qualify in terms of living close by like before, ever since we moved houses.



Gosh!

You've just hit the nail on the head squarely with this post of yours! I didn't even think about it from this angle.

This is so true and come to think of it, none of her brothers had to make that big jump. But the hours being offered by the nursery for now is just 3 hours per day. So obviously, hubby and I are just going to have to really juggle a lot of things here as we'll have no other choice but to combine the Catholic school with the private school.

The Catholic school offers very limited full-time places (9:00 - 3:30) but it's based on "need". If only she could be offered that, then it's not a problem. Infact, the money they ask for is peanuts compared to the private nursery. I spoke to the deputy head about offering her a full time place in the nursery as she's been on the waiting list since September when we accepted the offer but his response?

That our daughter is the exact opposite of the kids they'd offer full time places at this stage because she she's exposed and has got a very good support network at home. The kids they consider priority for full time places at this age are those who have no other opportunity and are stuck at home watching telly all day. (Mine gets a lot of stimulus from her nursery, swimming classes, extra-curricular activities, older siblings / family life, and so on)...

So basically, I feel like we're being "punished" for bringing up an all-rounded child who'll have no problem integrating and settling into the school's routine. The lazy parents who sit on their bums all day smoking their gays and watching daytime telly's Killroy / Matthew Wright get offered the full time places. What makes it even so annoying is that there are playgroups they could take their kids to, for free, without having to spend a dime. I did all of that with her whilst on my maternity leave so she never had a problem even when she started at her private nursery.

Like Damiso mentioned, the logistics of doing the school runs / dash from one school to the other is going to be something else. Lord! It's just so difficult when the kids are at this age!

P.s: Child minders are a no-no for us. All it takes is one having a bad day, then it'll be stories that touch the heart...

That's the main issue for me too the 3 hour slots.. So if I and hubby are at work we will probably then have to pay someone to pick him up or he goes back to the Private nursery anyway.

The 3 hour slot is just not practical for working parents.It was ok when I was not working but now it's not ideal at all.I have once asked why we can't use the free 15 hours in a two day block and then pay for the remaining days of the week.But they told me it's not possible in the mainstream school nurseries.

I can so feel you on being penalised for doing the right thing.I remember being so annoyed that I had to pay for childcare when I went to school because my husband worked and I was married.Some people advised me to lie that I was single as that was the only way I could get any help with childcare (and I know they meant well) but it's just not our thing.we struggled a bit but I just feel better knowing we did things the right way.

cococandy:
I don't know how or where this is a burning issue because all my life all I've seen are working women who work hand in hand with their husbands to provide for their families.
Sometimes providing more than what the man provides. Sometimes less. Sometimes equally.
OP welcome to earth. How was Mars?

Well said..that's all I saw too growing up.I have never been able to get the fact that a wife earning money will decide not to spend any money in her own home.

edwife:
Oh dear ,don't do this to yourself.That's what girl do to us .

The standard of a school is very important but our daughter settlement in the school needs to also be a priority.

Go through it one more time and take a decision but if you fear that she might not be accepted in the school,i think she has more chances because all her brothers have schooled there.That's alone is a reason for her to have a place there.

Children generally just do that to you.. I am soooo worried about my son fitting in well in the rigid mainstream school setting as he is so laid back about everything.He is a very fast learner(if I must confess sef even more than his sister) BUT he just be can't be bothered to do most things.potty-training him was and is still is a nightmare.At his age my daughter could dress herself him he want you to do everything for him.I just got him into the routine of him tidying up his toys properly (something my daughter was doing at 18 months).The boy has taught me that my house can't be spotless all the time my daughter just knew mummy likes a clean house and she fit into my routine.Even her teacher says she is the quee of 'tidy up time'

But I know he will be fine eventually and children are different.one just has to consistently lay down those routines.

EfemenaXY:
Damiso, I'd like to ask you something o!

You mentioned once that your daughter though outgoing, found it a bit difficult settling into her new school as per the little girls at that stage had already formed their cliques? Has she settled in now?

Abeg, how old was she when she transferred from the private nursery to the state (Catholic) nursery? The reason I ask is because I'm thinking of transferring my little girl from her private nursery to the mainstream state (Catholic) school all of her brothers attended, now that she's turned three. Thing is, I'm at crossroads here because I love her nursery and they really pamper her there. A lot of the mums I've spoken to in similar situations say they won't start their little ones at the Catholic school till their kids reach five because the school is too "academic" for their liking. Too "school-ish" if you know what I mean.

I look at her and can see that she's keen learner (always has been) but I just don't know. Her private school is also more flexible in terms of the hours offered but that's not the case with the state school. Thing is, the Catholic school is sooooo over subscribed. It's a small school with just one class per year and I put in her application when she was just 3 months old (immediately after her baptism). She was offered a place in the school way back in September to start shortly after she turns three. My youngest son is currently in that school and I suspect that apart from the very early application, she got that place as per having a sibling currently in that school.

My main worry now is this: if I leave her where she is to continue with the private school which is strictly 0-5 years, then what happens when I try to get her into the mainstream catholic school? By then her brother would have left and she wouldn't have that sibling criteria / condition to back up her application. It would literally kill me if she's not offered a place then because as far as I'm concerned, the other nearby state primary schools do not measure up to this one by a long mile.

Gosh, I'm so confused here! UK Mums in the house with daughters, your advice.

CC:
Chaircover
Edwife
Naijababe
Mmotimo

And any other mums, your input pls...

She has settled in quite well now..At her last parents evening her teacher said to me that she now has her own circle of friends and even with the girls who did not initially want to play with her ,she was able to suss out tat it's easier to interact with them one on one as opposed to approaching them as a group.

She was 3 when went into another state Catholic nursery from the private and was 4 when she started at the new one (remember we were unable to get a space at her initial school).I kinda have your dilemma with my son too who turns three soon but I think the flexibility is what is going to keep me more with the private nursery because even though We will save a substantial amount every week we simply don't know he we will cope with the rigid hours.With my daughter I was not working 9 to 5 so I was available to pick her most times. I have picked up application forms for him but I am kinda sceptical on starting him and then having to work out the logistics of who will pick him up.

*modified*
Efe the being Catholic criteria is even a stronger criteria for Catholic schools than the sibling or going to the nursery criteria.My daughter went to a nursery and kids who were born and baptised Catholic automatically were ahead even though she went to their nursery and we lived 10 mins away.In my daughters class then there was even a girl who did not get in even though she had a sibling on year2. Her mum appealed and still did not get in based on non catholicity( mind you my daughter and this girl were both baptisedin the Church of England)

For over subscribed Catholic schools evidence of catholicity Is no 1 criteria. So you should still get in at reception.esp if you have a rapport with the priest and head.

edwife:
I really want to watch it because everybody has some sort of opinion about it.

I have been reading the book but i will rather watch,one lady told me that she would rather watch porn

50 shades is like marmite you either really hate it or love it..don't have an opinion though cos not read or seen it.

coogar:
the movie has broken all the relevant records in the box office - it's sold more than avatar & passion of the christ(2004) in its first weekend.
critics would say crap but then numbers don't lie. it's an awesome movie. not for the faint-hearted & it's anti-feminism - this is why it's getting bad press.

You and feminism ehn the book is one of the highest selling books of all times so I am not surprised its taken that much at the box office..besides it was released on valentine weekend for a reason. .

You are right though sometimes the critics reviews can be subjective.

Edwife not watched or read fifty shades. ..for some odd reason I just have never felt the compulsion to...I heard the movie is crap by the way critics have torn into shreds

Efemenaxy I know apart from R231 you are the only other East enders fan on this thread who do you think killed Lucy? Come and see my colleagues playing CSI yesterday some even put money on various suspects at the bookiesI think its cindy

moca:
u obviously don't know d origin of ituku ozalla
I know a lot about coogar.
All I need to know butt he is still my ituku brother and warrior!
Ituku ozalla is not in my state either
But we r from ituku ozalla

Hope u and ur family r cool.
I wan retire for d night.

We are well thank you dear and yours? .me too jare night night dear

coogar:
this is a good idea o!
i will look into it. insult generating app. every click on a button would bring one insult out. i will just pack about 1 billion insults in it & people get to pick which one suits the occasion.



don't worry - your name would be in the credits. if it becomes as huge as facebook, you get 10% share(automatically)

10% ke

coogar:
this is a good idea o!
i will look into it. insult generating app. every click on a button would bring one insult out. i will just pack about 1 billion insults in it & people get to pick which one suits the occasion.

Pronto

coogar:
igbo to the core.
i can you the picture of my hometown in south enugu.
nah - bukky wright says that in nearly all her movies & the emphasis she puts on it tells me it must pack a punch.
they always draw the first blood!
you will never see me attacking anyone without provocation. i am a deacon.
writing a manual?

Yes naa ..manual.

People like me who don't know how to insult people will just keep a copy by our phone/tablet/laptop as soon as there is an e fight we just whip it open and start typing them out.

As you are an IT guru sef you can just kuku make it an app. afterall there is an app for everything.

Don't forget to send 50% of your profit to me cos I sold you the idea.

Coogar is definitely a yoruba boy..all those ituku ozalla moves na lie.moca you have been right all along



Like who else says ' oloriburuku mashanfani' :othe last time I heard that line I was in my home town of Idumota

Coogar you too like fight...haan haan I need to sell you a litre of my omi suru.

On a lighter note have you ever thought of writing a manual on how to insult people
I read your insults and I can't believe you come up with those lines in like 5 to 10 mins

Shollypopzz:
Some of us had to leave home without eating, can you kindly e-mail some to me. I am hungry.

BTW, those are the biggest pancakes I've ever seen and they look delicious.

Thank you will get my daughter to whip up some more and will get your over via cyberspace

EfemenaXY:
^^ Lol! Nice one Dami.

I plan on making some for brekki, tomorrow.

Thank you Efe. I am sure the kids would love it. Saw so many other recipes and toppings to try but not tonight.just went for the normal maple syrup and fruit.

naijababe:
How easy was that?

Na u know.. Me and you na the same.i remember reading somewhere where our lil naija princes was begging someone :Pto make cupcakes for almost a week

naijababe:
Dami, pancake does not take that long now

Dont mind me

She loves mixing any batter.. you would think it was more than pancake

Tan tan tan #whokilledlucybeale

R231 any takers..I hear all the bookmakers have the highest odds on abby branning

naijababe:
In-service days here so we are not making pancake here. Although, I may just play nice and remind them sha

Nice mummy..if my lil madam did not remember, me I no go remind o pancake for weekday ke.

As I taya reach dat my over sabi daughter still squuezed home made pancakes out of me..I totally forgot today was pancake day (shrove tuesday) na so the girl force me to go pick up flour at the shops (trust lazy dami naa ready made mix I wan get ) but that gal 'mummy we have to make the mixture'

Pics coming up later.

bellong:
The gods have smiled on you I hope you will remember the chief priest?



If akproko is a fish, why do they term "gossip" akproko?

Abi I should collect from chief priest..all those various various collections for various sacrifices..how many will the gods even eat

I don't know why its even being seen as an 'abroad' or 'west' thing.

Even in Nigeria i know people don't take children to parties but children are left with adults to supervise even at 10 or 13..

I think my own parents were a tad bit overprotective but most people that I knew growing up always had an adult in the house even at 15/16.there will sha be one grandma or aunty.

I got into university at 16/17 and I remember my dad following me to queue up for registration by the 3rd day I told him I will find my way because it was just getting embarassing.

So me I don't get all this 'oyinbo' or 'abroad' children ish.


The state of the house is not an even an issue perse cos who knows the house might always look like that even with mum there..(i have watched enough how clean is your house to know some people live in filth) that one was just to 'add pepper' for social services.I know someone who social services added her daughter's hair always looking ratchet to part of her child neglect allegations. Once those people are on your case EVERYTHING is an issue.

Sambarry no one is saying she should not go for owambe but this is not going to a party for max 6/7 hrs..This is leaving the country for 3 weeks without ensuring there is consistent adult supervision..

10 and 13 year olds are still considered minors in the UK and most countries in the west..

Even in Nigeria my mum used to travel alot for business and even with my dad being present my mum used to get my grandmum to come over when she travelled cos my dad was a politician and prone to late nights.. I don't think we were left alone till the year I finished Waec and even then Dad would call the land line every two hours.

Supervising your kids faaaar supercedes them cleaning or cooking.Dare say I teenagers/tweens even need more monitoring than toddlersdue to lots of influences out there.. how will you even know what kind of friends/company your child is keeping?

Not sure this is the full story as I don't want to believe she did not entrust them to an adult but if she did not abeg its highly highly irresponsible behaviour.

edwife:
na wa o for dami,i will pray for that okproko to stay at the airport o

Loool

edwife:
Damiso don't do me like that ,anyway next time you want to send anything in Naija,just let me know-i will tell r231 to do it for free

Ehen I don't want that one R231 is my person too

What else?

See me flexing over okporoko that I have not even seen

naijababe:
Yes sweetheart. I am a foodie, it is one of my three pleasures

I thought only hausas had the secret recipe

So why have I been asking my mum to beg all the suya men in sabo/obalende etc when I can make it myself?

Indeed my people perish for lack of knowledge.

edwife:
please do,and don't forgot me in your paradise....

Ok what will be my compensation?

naijababe:
Dami, we can do with suya pepper this side of the pond o I ought to make some but as kuli kuli nor dey I nor fit

You can make suya pepper

Ok make we speak in Camera

cococandy:
That your friend loves you. Okporoko is not cheap and she got a lot for you. That's nice.

I will give her a kiss when I see her

So there was no responsible adult that she could leave them with to be a guardian No friends, church members, relatives?

And for 3 weeks?


Some people get mind o...

She probably felt the 13 yr old could take care of the 10 yr old like he/she probably does when she goes to work or parties. Na wa.

debosky:
You mean okporoko?

It's just the dry fish.

Makes me remember my secondary school days - we used to call one guy okporoko the crayfish because he was as stingy/tight fisted as they come. Getting water out of okporoko was easier than getting that guy to spend money.

Thanks edwife and cococandy..meant to see a friend who came in from Naija this weekend and she said 'oh I brought in alot of okprokpo for you'.For some odd reason I used to think it was a collection of things you used for igbo soups.Hubby said it was the head of dried stock fish guess he was also wrong.

Means soup will be happening this weekend .

I have just been getting naija goodies in the last couple of weeks .Kuli kuli, kilishi, pepper soup spice, suya pepper, kilishi pepper, ground pepper, chocomilo etc, I even got gala last week

PM me ewuro will be sending some stuff to canada let me see if I can sneak in some chocomilo (abi will your customs seize that as well) for you.

I think I have enough ogbolo to last me years in my freezer.i hope this my friend is not also bringing ogbolo cos I don't have anymore space.