₦airaland Forum

Hello guys,
Yesterday I was having a discussion with some friends and it came to a point when one of the guys said as a man, if you don't have a male child, you don't have a child yet. That statement pained me to the core because the person making this kind of statement is almost 40years of age and not married yet. Himself and some few others like him were vehemently supporting this idea.
I am a very liberal person and I don't believe in most of these traditional stuffs. I prayed for 3 kids and I have them all as females. I love my girls like crazy and I have stopped giving birth. I got married at 25 and stopped having kids at 32yrs. But here I am in the midst of people talking down on female children like they are some sort of waste.

Most of these women in these kind of relationship will call you enemy of progress if you try to help them. Sometimes you don't just know how to save someone who is not ready to be saved.

I have registered for my PVC today. I am ready to waste my vote on Peter Obi. If voting for him is a termed waste by some foolish people, I am ready to waste it. Nigeria is in a big mess with all these people PDP and APC are Fielding.

You are just acting like a bitter soul. Who prints hardcopy IV now? It's waste of resources. I can't remember the last time I saw any. He even sent you softcopy invite which shows he had you in mind and you are still angry because you feel he is supposed to come to your house? Lobatan. Now that you didn't attend, was the wedding cancelled? Has your cousin lost anything? You are the one angry at someone who is not aware you are even angry and I am very certain you didn't tell him you didn't attend because he didn't bring the physical card to your house.

Anybody from the age of 50 and below supporting Tinubu is braindead.

There is nothing wrong with marrying a single mom if you truly love her and you are compatible. Treat her kid or kids as yours, that's the best approach. Sometimes when boys condemn single moms, I just wonder what is actually wrong with them. Having a child outside is not as bad as those who have committed abortion over 10 times. We judge people based on sentiment. If God decide to open our sins bare, so many people condemning single moms are either one (who may committed abortion or killed their babies) or are dating ladies who must done more than. 20 abortions. There are so many beautiful and smart single moms out there.
I am a man for your information and I am married already but life have thought not to ever conclude on anyone

If you think men cheat more than women, I bet you are far from the reality. On the average, every young girl of marriageable age has not less than 5 boyfriends. The main G is there while others leach on her. Sex is nothing to them as everyone gets their share of the cake according to their monetary and emotional contribution to the relationship. Here is the thing, when 5 to 10 men contributes to "take care" of the babe and she ends up marrying one of the guys, how do you think the marriage will last when all the burden will be shifted to one man alone after wedding? Little wonder women become very unsatisfied because the man can not meet up with the demands from his wife who have eventually cut off ties with her other men or reduced the numbers of men she sleeps with.
How does it relate with this story? It's no big deal that his supposed fiancee got pregnant for one of her ex. The truth is that, he may not be an Ex, the guy that impregnated her may be one of the share holders but not ready to marry her that's why he's been tagged ex. Anyway,let me stop here and mind my business.

Majority of "Church people" and pastors beats their wives. It's normal. I have seen so many and wonder what's wrong. They come to church and pretend to be holy. No wonder the Bible says judgement will start from the church.

Even if the terrorist were arrested, they will be freed and reintegrated to the society or made to join the military. There is nothing to regret from the killing in the North. There is a special joy that comes with it and only our politicians are enjoying it and some very foolish religious extremist

I use God beg you, choose MTN. I was a staff of Stanbic IBTC Bank and I know why. Banking now is the most frustrating job you can ever have. Stanbic IBTC Bank like other Nigerian banks is riggid. Sacking staff is as normal as eating bread and butter.

That's a red flag. Don't go into marriage with such people. Keeping malice with your own father for as long as 3 years? That's crazy and disrespectful. He will do worse to you or your family (probably your parents) when you get married.
You have a valid reason not to marry such please.

Point of correction, she is not your wife. You did introduction 6years ago and already have 2 children, that's not healthy. Do the right thing first before complaining. I believe she may be getting counsel from people to leave your house until you are ready to settle down.
From your expression, you are not a serious person, even in the next 10yrs, you will still not do the needful.

You are a very confused person. At 29 you think you rushed to get married. I got married as a man at 25yrs, have been married for 10yrs now and I don't think it's early. You have chains of bachelor friends who parties alot and have fleets of girls around that they carry out sexcapades with, you think you are missing out on those nonsense.
You are even saying you are doing well in business and later said you think you marriage is slowing you down, this is not true. My advice is that you should limit the time you spend with your single friends. It's affecting your mental health. You are confused.

I am surprised that people think for a man to get married at 24 is an error. The reason most men won't do it its simply because of financial constrains. If you love her, marry her. You can manage her siblings. If you leave her, she will not commit any suicide. Its just a regular line ladies use to keep men when they are in love. She will be hurt if you leave but will certainly move on and you will feel worse. I got married BTW 24/25yrs and I have no regrets. My age mates and friends are still bachelors, I have stopped giving birth like 3yrs ago. My first child is 9yrs old and I feel blessed because I married a special woman.
Nobody is useless, even her brothers you think are burdens may be your support in the future.

Poverty is a bastard. You are shouting because of food. Kai!!! Anyway, I lack what to tell you. So, if it were your family will you stop them from coming to your house because of food? To even think that your wife contributes to the feeding from her personal income amazes me. You are very stingy, that's the blunt truth .

When you hear drugs, Asia and Nigerian, just know its either chukwuma, Emeka, Obinna, Chigozie, Ifeanyi or Livinus that committed the crime.

That's a red flag. She will starting dragging space with your Mom when you eventually get married, your Mom's advice is the best. I did my wedding 9years ago same pattern your Mom advised you. Its obvious she is still a child that thinks the wedding ends at the ceremony. Mark my words, if you go broke, she will use it against you. A man is supposed to know what he wants and not being cajoled by a lady for the purpose of greasing her ego.
If she no grew, make she bring half of the money or else, make she *park and go*

You will be the most foolish person on earth to dump immigration job for bank job in Nigeria. I started off like you with my ND in one of the new generation bank. I wasted 10 years of my life and was layer off. I have BSC and other certificates. During my time, I thought I had career in banking so I rejecting DSS and NDLEA jobs. That 100k bank is paying you is nothing compared to the freedom and peace of mind for a government job of 50k. I am certain the bank job you are talking about is a contract employment. These days 90% of banks will not allow you stay beyond 5yrs, they will terminate your contract.

Abeg this people should allow us rest. Nothing like that in Nigeria. Are they not tired of stealing and suffering the masses in the name of covid? Haba!!! Till now, I can't count even 1 or 3 who died because of covid.

Adopt the child if you love him. Treat him like your child too. Forget all these people making lousy and negative comments. Most of those I'll comments are coming from people who are not responsible enough to get married or shoulder any responsibility. It doesn't make you less a man or foolish. In fact, you are a hero.

I think only soldiers from the north should be sent to fight boko haram. When you hear news like this and run down the names of casualties, you will be hearing names like chinedu, ayo, john, moses, ogheneovo, boma etc

I wish its true and I wish they will do it.

With all due respect Sir, you are very foolish and egoistic. So, you cannot listen to your wife advice or agree as a couple and you think things will work for you? You are not mentally, emotionally and psychologically ready for marriage. Stop suffering somebody's daughter. I am married for 9years, so I know what I am saying.

From all indications you are still not exposed to the real world. She slept with 100 men and so fcking what? From your response, you must be very judgemental. You prioritized sex over everything in life. Even prostitutes get married to better men and leave well after. Don't carry African mentality of sexuality to do oyibo love abeg.

And who says Buhari is not aware of the security challenge in the country? Nigeria is cash bag for terrorist, bandits, herdsmen all over Africa and jihadists. The government pays these criminal elements to massacre her people on a daily basis. With Sheik Pantami as the grand patron and also doubled as the Nigeria's minister of communication and digital economy.

Those arms is for protecting his people because of the frequent attacks from Fulani herdsmen. These soldiers will always want to expose these villagers so they can be massacred by Fulani herdsmen at will.
Everything about this country is not working. Have you ever heard that soldiers went to a location where bandits and boko haram stays and kill the entire villagers because soldiers where killed? Just yesterday, over 30 soldiers were killed by bandit in the North East, yet they can't try it. In Benue, 11 soldiers were killed and soldiers came to kill over 100 villagers in retaliation. The cleared 3 villages.

After all the madness, she will likely become the side chick of another married man. See the pictures posted, old looking women who most likely are divorcees cheering her up.

What you did was wrong. Does it mean because she had affairs with few guys in your area, that means she should not settle down in her lifetime again? Even prostitutes get married. Sometimes, some of those stories may be lies. Guys lies so much just to feed their ego of being the superhero on "woman matter" when they are together.

This is Jonathan's project. Influenced by David Mark. Which one is God bless PMB?

I am trying hard not to stereotype news on drug trafficking but its been very difficult.
Any time you read Nigerian arrested and to be executed for drug trafficking, you need not read further, 99% are my Eastern brothers.

You are over reacting. She didn't visit you to sleep over from your write up. Its just a visit and more so 35mins journey. You are new in your marriage and you are already trying to create an impression, its not good. There is nothing really bad as you painted it marriage is not same as having girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. I am married for 12yrs and I must tell you, its not everything you must react to. You have to have shock absorber most time.

All these girls have at least 7 serious boyfriends at any point in time. Don't ever take them serious. Don't just quit the relationship, its too early. Her birthday is coming, she will do anything humanly possible to please you so you can spend so much on that day. At this stage, she will give you any styles of sex 2 to 3 days to her birthday, just collect it and wait till that day of the birthday before telling her you forgot or maybe you don't have money. The relationship will end naturally.
All these girls are used to dumping men and recycling men/guys, breaking up with her just laidat will pain you more because of how involved you have been with her