₦airaland Forum

ednut1:
last post here. This is getting messy. People in the abroad usually marry their high school sweethearts and still divorce. Like I said wokeness and toxic feminism is causing all these . There are reasonable standards, there are unreasonable standards too. Rita dominic with her beauty should have married a man who has not been married before na. At 35 someone is listing having female friends as standard. Wetin musa no go see for gate. Even matchmakers are lamenting. Majority of women cannot be saying they want 20% of men lol

Oh! the bolded is not in the OP
There’s a word which you mischievously omitted and that word makes all the difference. Check her original post again, she used the phrase ‘PLETHORA’ of female ‘friends’ and we all know men without focus and contentment are the ones who run in such circle.

Again, can you stop using celebrities as example here? This lady is an average person that needs peace and quiet. She isn’t a celebrity and you can’t lump her up with the likes of Funke Akindele and Dominic. Dominic staying single till well into her 40s should remind you that this love and marriage business is not all about beauty. There are many other factors that must be considered and the OP has exercised her right and freedom of choice and association.

We’re quick to mention Davido, Wizkid and all but we forget that these guys are in a special category of their own.

ednut1:
a single man with those specs abroad and above 35 is not going to marry a 35 year old woman . Even older celebs like rita and funke akindele had to marry divorced men. Make una dey tell these babes reality

Lol, now I’ve given up.
Wanted to write on the experiences of people i know around but the confidence in your write up ee

ednut1:
Making unrealistic demands at 35 You aint ready

What do you mean by at 35?
I’m sure you’re in your 30s too. Would you choose to end up with someone’s baby mama with criminal records and multiple ‘male friends’?
If you wouldn’t, why should she?

Don’t be this way please. She’s only seeking a responsible man and there’s nothing out of place with her request. Even people in their 40s find clean and never married non criminal spouses to be with.

I know someone that got married in her late 40s and her husband a decent and never married guy and marriage is waxing strong.


@Op, do not let anyone discourage you. Go for only what you can manage and you’ll find just what you seek.

Merxi:
He said “Nobody knows tomorrow”

It’s unfortunate you’ve wasted 6yrs of your life with this guy. He obviously has other plans and not ready to FULLY commit to you. For him, there’s an inevitable that he’s trying to be prepared for. This is not the kind of man you’d want to build your life with and around.

My advice is for you to find the strength to move on as hard as it is, better now than later. The marriage may not last long if you go ahead with him as he’s already planning a smooth exit before the union starts proper.

All the best!

What happened to their eyebrows?
Heyyy! Lol

Powersurge:
Was it not strenuous enough when the same UK banned most medical practitioners from Nigerian universities many years ago?

Passing the requirements and maintaining professionalism are two different things. An average Nigerian has high propensity to cut corners. And when you have spent more than half of your life under a system that glorifies ineptitude, it's only a matter of time before your old ways catch up with you in a saner clime.

Do you know that this guy has practiced in the UK for more than 20 years?
He’s more of a UK Doctor than a Nigerian one

You guys always jump at any opportunities to insult your kinsmen. It’s a pity

The Use of technology is really not meant for a lot of people.

You better go block that ATM of yours and transfer all your available monies from that account. It’s compromised.

They are obviously trying to break into your account. This particular scammer is not well grounded in the game yet, reason s/he is trying to change your PIN. In no time, that information they have will get to a smarter scammer and the result you’ll get will bring you here for another lamentation.

BigBashiru:
The mistake women make is they want to do things on their terms.... I did not say I'm not interested I just said I want to be careful what I'm getting into.... I want to take my time cos I can't afford a bad marriage. I don't want to rush in and rush out...

If the girl was smart what she should hv done is date a pool of 5-10 guys and the first to express interest in marriage wins...

It's not my fault time is not on her side.... if time is not her side that doesn't mean I shouldn't take my own time you get it

There's nothing I hate more like thinking only to suit one's self.... she wants to get married fine and she wants to dictate terms including when I make up my mind.... it doesn't work that way given that marriage is a liability to men anyway

No sir
From your original post, you told her you’re not looking to having anything serious now and IF OTHER GUYS COME, SHE’S FREE TO GO.

A decent girl will have to close one chapter before opening another one to avoid a case of “ we were dating and I suddenly saw her wedding IV online”.

Dating a pool of men is what you people call cheating and Some people are not wired to be deceitful.

So yeah, she did nothing and agreed it’s not your fault that she feels ready for marriage but don’t condemn her for doing the right thing.

Delight2014:
Most girls these days are so desperate to the extent that they will do anything just to get married.
There are a lot to learn in marriage which most of them didn't know, all they want is to enter into a man's house

So at 28-30 you’d advise your sister that feels ready to marry to continue wasting her years and life with clowns who have no intentions to settle with them?

I have small time to waste, reason I’m on this thread to understand how young boys of these days think.
Damn!

For those not ready to marry, look for a girl who’s not ready too. She’ll most likely never talk marriage with you and you two will be happy. But you meet a girl who told you clearly that marriage is better than boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, that should tell you what phase she’s at.
It’s common sense na


I’m outta this thread Jare!

BigBashiru:
I am grateful for the redpill for opening my eyes about the female gender.... the greatest thing the red pill has taught me about the female gender is to be on guard against their manipulative nature....

Met a girl recently. First she lied about her age (she said shes 26 but she looks 28 - 30). Then she said she has only had one boyfriend. Then she is always posting pictures of babies to her social media...

When I met her she said: 1. A woman must be working to support her husband. 2. The man is free to have girlfriends even when married to her that its fine 3. Marriage is better than boyfriend and girlfriend....

A part of me tells me she is only saying these ideal things because she wants to get married asap. And that she will change/ renege on the money aspect once she locks down a guy....

Fast forward 6 months, one day she tells me that she has a question for me that I should answer honestly: "What plans do I have about her?". I then told her im not looking to rush into anything that if other guys are coming her that she should be free...she then stops sending me messages.

Lessons
1. This is a desparate and calculated woman who said the below three things just because she knows thats what a guy wants to hear...
*. A woman must be working to support her husband. *. The man is free to have girlfriends even when married to her that its fine *. Marriage is better than boyfriend and girlfriend....

2. All she cares about is that she wants to get married; she does not care about the decision of the husband.... you do not want to allow the to-be husband to make up his mind Her approach is "are you interested or are you not interested"

3. Why lie - a 26 year old cannot hv had only one boyfriend in todays world - she lied about age and number of partners - should I really go into marriage with a liar who lies to suit herself??

4. She wants to get married because of what the marriage can do for her not because of what she can offer me....

Comments welcome please.... No insults or time wasting comments please.

Keep deceiving yourself while claiming redpill

You said she looks 30 already yeah?
So in your head, you expected a 30 yr old lady to keep wasting her time with you when you clearly told her you have no long term intentions for her? Did you really expect that she would keep communicating with you while entertaining new love interests? So that tomorrow, you’ll either call her a cheat or an evening news paper.

The girl is a sincere person and not ready to mess around. Reason she told you from beginning that she wants marriage and not the foolishness people do in the name of dating.

You better wake up and look for a younger girl that’s not ready for marriage yet since that’s where you’re at now. The said lady did nothing to you to deserve the venom you’re spewing. She needed clarity of purpose after 6 whole months of dating, you gave it and she made her choice.

Only if you boys know how you sound each time you mention Redpill ee, Clowns!

Jasiman:
Yeah

For every sensible AS human, the first question you ask when you meet an opposite sex of interest is genotype. Or just chip in your genotype while having a conversation if you can’t ask them. It’s important to know this as early as possible.

You don’t let emotions build till the eleventh hour before seeking answers to these very important questions. The AA genotype bearers are the only people PERMITTED to be careless about such things.



OTHER AS AND SS PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE NOTE.

Jasiman:
Good morning Nairalanders, please I need urgent help.

My relationship is on the verge of break up due to genotype issue and I sincerely need your advice. I will appreciate if medical experts on this field and those with experience can help out and Share their experience.

I love this lady so much and she's everything any man can pray for except for the genotype. She equally love me so much as well.
On her part, she has booked consultation with doctors and all they keep telling her isn't good at all. No hope at all.

On my part, I have this strong believe that we will give birth to health kids since we are not planning on having much. Maximum of three.
I have also done some researches and also heard about "bridgeclinic". I don't know if it will work and the success rate.

Please, is there any hope at all or not.
I really appreciate your advice as I anticipate them.
Thank you

Please ��� mod.

I’ll need to know how wealthy you are.

If you’re going to dabble into this, make sure you earn well and are emotionally strong ‘cause the technology available depends strictly on the abundant availability of these two factors.

On no account should you birth a Child with SICKLE CELL because what follows afterwards is a whole depressing package on its own. Not just for you though but the child whose life you’d be screwing up.


If i have to give you an unbiased professional and non sentimental counsel, I’d say end the relationship. Continuing is not worth the risk or stress. But as someone who is open minded and believes in possibilities, you could go ahead, with the aforementioned readily available for prenatal testing for every single pregnancies or even adoption...phew!

This is beyond Sad. So so sad.


Pains so Unimaginable that Nothing can soothe. Just hope they find help.

ERCROSS:
I think Mbaka was right. Buhari was sent to Nigeria by God

It is only a prolonged era of suffering and insecurities like this that can awaken the revolution spirit in every body. Hard times produce hard men. Buhari has done his work and the election act he signed was part of it.

Sowore tried to lead this revolution, but nobody send am. MKO tried it, he lost his life. A lot of people has tried it in the past and they were unsuccessful.

The truth is, when the time is right, everything will fall in place. It will look as though it's nature taking its course, but it's the God of nature doing His extraordinary work in an ordinary way

You’re right.
People are receiving some sense already, including me. �

I still haven’t wrapped my head around the reason people keep touch with their ex partners. It just makes zero sense to me.

The moment you’re done, you should be done forever, there are millions of people, both male and female to be friends with na. Except of Course you have kids you’re coparenting.


Op, she’s a grown woman and there isn’t much you can do to change her, unfortunately.

What could be the problem?
I wish i can reach out to him. I hope he pulls through

Some of these kids on here really do not know where to draw the line.

Not all threads are for you to contribute and this thread was created in the family section and not the Romance section for a reason.

A woman comes to ask questions about fertility and childbirth just after one child and someone is calling her a baby factory. Someone that may be old enough to be your big sister or mother. And another one is asking why she’s having a baby.


Your parents did very poor jobs raising you and i feel sorry for those that have to deal with you in real life.

Boliboli760:
lol, na age dey rush me. I be old mama already.

Good to complete your family size asap since age is not on your side

One year post delivery isn’t too early to try again especially if last delivery wasn’t via cesarean section.

All the best Madam.

You should stop breastfeeding the child if you want to get pregnant for sure.

With mixed feeding, chances of contraception from lactational amenorrhea is reduced but your best bet is to discontinue breastfeeding asap. If you have to travel and leave baby alone for two days, then do it. She on her own will reject breast milk afterwards.

Problem solved.

I wish you baby number 2 asap.

Nice Specifications
I’ll contact you

Hopemanfx:
at my age 37yrs.

Yes oo
Old age isn’t equal to readiness na.
Since women are bad and marriage will stall your progress, better to steer clear till you change your mindset about it.
Or better still, get a baby Mama, problem solved.

tensazangetsu20:
Honestly 300k is too small to marry in Nigeria. It might look big to you but once a child is in, it will become equivalent to 50k then school fees feeding and all of that expenses and you aren't even sure of the 300k. It will also lose its value and purchasing power overtime. You are a man you can marry anytime you want. Present NBA chairman just got married at 47 and that was his first marriage. The president of the Nigerian stock exchange got married at 52 and that was his first. You can even marry at 90 if you so wish. Just get your money up.

I’m very sure you’re not married. If you were, you’d know that there are lots of families doing decently ok with less than 300k monthly pay per partner.

How many people in their 30s earn up to 400k monthly? Just look around you and count the number of people in their mid 30s and below who earn up to 400k per month. You’re using high profile men who married late as examples, if you ask those same men, I don’t think they’ll advise him to follow in their footsteps.

Bottom line is, marriage doesn’t restrict a man from achieving his goals and reaching his desired height. What stunts their growth is poor planning, breeding indiscriminately, lack of decency and unsuitable partners .

Fact is, marriage slows down the growth of women and not men for obvious reasons

Hopemanfx:
Hello!
Nairalanders, please I really need your advice. Am really afraid of marriage. Am already 37yrs this year! I keep postponing it. I earn average income from my business; atleast I can boost of 300k-400k per month. with this, I can take care of my wife and children..Unfortunately! Am afraid of marriage for the following reasons.
1) I have a believe that if I get married I will lose focus.
2) the fear of not achieving what I want to achieve in life.
3) am afraid of diverting from my main goal in life and focus on something else.
4) fear of marital issues that will make me lose focus and plan.
5) marrying to pretendous woman.
6) a lot more.
Please I need your advice

Focus on building your life then and forget about marriage. You have so much reservations about it, so don’t risk it.

When you become ready to marry, you’ll know.

Wayne1994:
I don't blame u and for ur information I met her a virgin, so get lost

You two should visit a hospital for proper examination.
They may have to take a high vaginal swab from her and analyse it for infection, if any, she’ll be given appropriate treatment for that and you should also get your Semen checked to make sure you can impregnate your wife naturally sha!

For every fertility problems, males contribute almost as equally as the female. So do a semen analysis asap while they check her out too.

With 10-15k, you’ll make a headway at a proper hospital.

Nairaland can’t help you in this matter. The little boys will start insulting you and your wife if you don’t log out and go find real solutions to the fertility problems you’re facing

All the best!

golddust6000:
am here to seek advice and you dey attack me.

As you don carry your relationship matter present to struggling kids wey never understand the realities of life to discuss, see as your relationship don begin crash before your very eyes.

Your search for a life partner continues my brother. You go soon learn .

Sunshine0126:
My utmost Respect to the Daddy & Mummy in the house

Just out of curiosity I will love to be enlightened more about what a husband stand to benefits in a marriage cos all i could think of favour woman 100%

Or a humble responsible man should just have it @ the back of his mind that he's meant to serve his wife/family either directly or indirectly throughout his lifetime?

Pls those of you with versed experience in marriage do share ur thought it might go a long way to help a life

There’s absolutely no benefits for the husband
You better run from marriage and remain single. Only women, especially Nigerian women benefit from marriage.
Btw, this is an over flogged and duplicated topic.
Follow this link for more advice from your Nairaland brothers
https://www.nairaland.com/7113219/what-benefit-marriage-man-present

Stay off Marriage and Romantic relationships and stay safe.
Cheers!

The ranting from supposedly grown men on this forum is becoming very very shameful.
I read comments here and i wonder the kind of life experiences some of you have had over the years that have broken ya’ll into thousands of irreparable pieces. I feel so much pity for you guys and i hope you can find some sort of succor from someone/something someday.
For real, i feel very bad that you’ve not had it good.


Back to the topic, marriage is actually not compulsory and not for everyone. If you think it’s useless, please steer clear and let those of us that strongly believe in it carry on.

It’s a case of ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’.
You can’t go into marriage with the mindset of failure and expect to succeed in it, Nah, it doesn’t work that way. DO NOT MARRY.
Kids can come without the entire marriage package, many women want same think and won’t mind really.
Enough of this display of stupidity here for goodness sakes.

Do not marry
Do not date
Ashawo houses full everywhere, make use of them and the option of homosexuality is now on the table.

All the best!

Fantazy:
Marriage is overrated in this present time!!
As for me, the only reason why I will want to get married someday is cos of children (Bleep other so called benefits). That is because I have vowed never to have children from different women i.e I want all my children to come from one woman.
If not, I will never dream of getting married.

This can still be achieved without getting married naw, you can have a baby Mama and complete your family size with her, simple.

Better remove hand from Marriage and let those of us that still believe in the sanctity of Marriage carry on oo.
Marriage is simply not for everyone.
Cheers

Ectopia Vesicae or Bladder Exstrophy. They may also need to rule out the presence of some other congenital abnormalities.

Which facility in Abuja is this Child, who brought her there and what’s your relationship with her?

Let’s know the full story
Thanks

Doveispure:
I am a married mother of four. I have been having constant issues with my husband concerning his cheating nature and anytime I bring it before him it always ends up with a fight(not physical though,I mean quarrel)that I end up begging him later because I can't bare to see us quarrel.

But he seems to have taken advantage of this.
I complained to him again concerning this because I have been having series of STIs,this resulted in a quarrel.
He told me the following which makes me wonder if a man truly loves a woman of he will talk like this

1) He said he is addicted to sex(mind you I allow him have his way anytime he wants even when I'm heavily pregnant and I'm usually active during sex)so he cannot stop having other girls.

2)He said i should learn to leave with it
3)

Well, i have nothing to say to you than to smh

It’s your Children i pity for though.