₦airaland Forum

Lagusta: Hello, i m a doc too, a packed cell volume of 64% means polycythemia. I assume u r a lady, so normal levels r in d range of 38-48%. It is less than that of men (40-55%) cos of blood loss thru menses. Ur high levels mean alot, could be idiopathic (no known cause), thru cigarettes or high altitude. Go see a hematologist for more clarifications

i tire for these nija doctors o . U are confusing Hb count with hematocrit. PCV is hematocrit and of course a 64% of that would mean polycythaemia.

YoU prolly know Hb only in mg\dl and never in percentages??. Am actually okay now but am saddened about this confusion.

I would think thrice b4 I see a doctor in Nigeria

igba kan o lo ile aye gbo.

supernatural powers? You sure can have them especially if it is about using your mind to control things and about saying certain things that get things happening.

The things I would be bothered about if I were you are--
for what?
And @ what price?

For what. .you prolly would have many of the wordly things you crave. Riches et al(and that is if you succeed. Not succeeding after you'd tried could be detrimental)

but for what price? The loss of a life, someone dear as an example is one of the prices. Could be your sight or another part of your body or an eternal life involved in many things, filthy. (discouraged yet? Its d truth actually)

from where? The people involved in such things make use of supernatural beings termed jinns. These beings have the good and the bad among them(refer to suuratul jinn of the holy Qur'an to learn more about them). Because of the power certain people get through them, they lie to be men of god. These same jinns aid babalawos and anyone ready for them.

Ever heard of people running mad after seeing certain things? Those things could be jinns. People who use those powers sometimes are @ the receiving end of the evils they want to perpetrate

my advice, you sure dont need such powers. Of what benefit is creating one's doom??

bukatyne: @deols: i don't think i said anything bad or told anyone not to use hijab or obey d commandments of islam; i just gave my opinion and as far as i checked, that is not a crime since i didn't make any rude or discriminatin remark. pls reread my post wit an open mind n if u don't understand, ask me wat i mean. @mactunji: thanks!

actually, giving your opinion,I ddnt see as a crime either and was only giving an opinion too. You mentioned people wearing those long, shapeless things that you termed a no, no whereas the more beautiful ones to you were good to go-that is where the problem is.

And then I gave you an advice about dabling into things you have no knowledge of. I hope you learn that and apply it in other facets of life

@ Dr. mumeen, you would ask someone wv a Hb level of 64% to donate? Please explain to me what anaemia means then, I must have made a mistake. Anticipating your response sir.

oh oh. Dem arguments are me was hoping for some apps o

Just after the imam’s takbeer, it was my wedding day. Family and friends were congratulating me, I was dressed in my white wedding gown, “my husband to be” kept cracking jokes beside me, I could not stop smiling, he did not like to show his teeth when we took pictures, I whispered to him, I said; do you mind showing your teeth? he smiled, part of his teeth showed. I immediately signaled to the photographer to snap…lolz. Oops! What? I am praying, is this the second or third rakah? Oh my GOD! AstagfuruLLAH, audhubillahi min as-shaytan ar-rajim.

OK! Shaytan, jokes apart, I need to concentrate on my prayers right now!!! , But, come to think of it, so by tomorrow insha ALLAH, I will be in Paris for my honey moon? Unbelievable! I hope the “hotel san Regis, Paris” makes sense. May we have safe journey! WHATT!!! Did the imam just say the tesleem? Denoting that the prayer is over? Did we pray four rakahs? Oh my goodness! AstagfuruLLAH.

God please forgive me, please I might not have the full 27 rewards but please accept my ibaadat. God please forgive me, if I continue like this how would I attain al-janah? How would I be a successful believer? How will I fit into those ALLAH describes in suratul-mu’minun. GOD, I’m sorry AstagfuruLLAH.

Brothers and sisters in Islam, this is a very serious issue, this is a form of jihad that has to be fought .Getting distracted in salat is bound to happen. How well you can handle these distractions when they come is what makes one’s salat of good quality. According to an hadith of the prophet (s.a.w); Uthman ibn Al-aas (R.A) said ‘O messenger of ALLAH, verily the devil comes between me, my prayer and my recitation making me confused. The messenger of Allah (s.a.w) replied; that is a devil called khanzab, so if you sense his presence then seek refuge in Allah from him and spit on your left side three times. (Sahih Muslim) .This hadith shows that distractions during prayer have existed ever since prayer existed.

And shaytan by the way is described to be very patient, he is never tired of trying to distract you while you pray so please don’t be tired to stop him , he will try different methods and be patient in case one doesn’t work till you fall into his trap, may ALLAH save us from shaytan ,the acursed!

Allah described the qualities of a successful believer in chapter 23 of the holy book(suratul mu’minun) verses 1-11,one of the characteristics of a successful believer as said in verse 2 of chapter 23 is “offering salat with all solemnity and full submissiveness”...That is with dignity and in a seriously composed manner. Verse 9 of the same chapter also states how important it is to strictly guard our salawat. Let’s strive to attain as much concentration as we can so as to be part of the inheritors of paradise as said in verses 10&11 of suratul mu’minun).

It has been reported that one of the sahabah while he was praying, he was stung by a scorpion and guess what? He did not feel a thing! Masha Allah, may Allah bestow us with such “khushu’u”. And by the way, latest research done on scorpions venom showed that it is neurotoxic, causes paralysis and some species can even kill, but see what full concentration during salat did to this sahabah; he did not feel a scorpion sting!

Salat is the second pillar of faith, it should be taken extremely serious. It is said that the only difference between a non-believer and a believer is salat. Its depth of importance is shown, when God said the first good deed to be accounted for on the day of judgement is salat. If one’s salat is sound then every other thing might go unquestioned, on the other hand if one’s salat is faulty, then other things would be questioned. Salat should actually be prepared for, some of our pious predecessors , would take a nap so as to feel strong for the coming salat, some of them would be in the mosque waiting for the adhan of the next salat to be called.

The importance of having full concentration in salat cannot be over-emphasized. Salat without concentration is like a body without a soul. Brothers and sisters in Islam, please let’s strive to attain as much concentration as possible during our salat. May Allah make it easy (amin).

UMM TARTILAH.
[url]
www.inkedsisters.[/url]

I didnt know about kufr duna kufr until u brought it up. I need to learn more about it. this sure is a good eye opener. thanks

olsmade: @issue no1, I've been told by @least 2 prospective spouses (yh, $#*t happens) dt dey would like to keep dia fathers surnames but I refused as I was ignorant of d injunction u made mention of - I don't av a problme wiv it anymore sha (n it aint cos of d urname issue dat it didn't work on doz occasions )

@ bold no1. yh! they do happen.

@bold no.2--dats d point jare

@issue #3, d only tym I remember my father helping out in d kitchen, my mom was away n he jus came n gave us directives I fink. But then, he works very hard outside d home so u can't really fault him.

dr's is one kind generation. dont think my pops ever boiled water. @ least av never seen dat happen

@issue #4, d guy can as well marry a 2nd wife for any reason he so wills, but he shd be fair in his dealings wiv both wives. He shd also know dat its gonna be a difficult tym for d 1st wife n should address all her fears n stand by her.

Men should consider those feelings. I heard of a man who bought the first wife a brand ne car when he wanted a second wife. At least anytime she sees the car, her temper could cool down

@issue #5, dat goes wivout saying.

davidylan: interesting, however you skip a very important point... for a christian, holiness is not about a personal struggle to look good before a god. Its a matter of the heart.

so you think its all about the dressing in Islam?

and btw, am I to assume uv bn celibate all d while? hmmn

davidylan: Quite odd. Does that mean allah is unfair by putting you in a country where the odds are already stacked against you in terms of exposure to sin?
This just sounds more and more to me like a burdensome religion that requires so much concerted effort, speculative hope and fear of the unknown.
Secondly, the idea that the culture is a problem to a religious muslim is false. the problem is you. I lived in nigeria for 22 yrs, even as a man who wasnt particularly holy, i never drank, never fornicated and adultery was something that was never mentioned among our extended or nuclear families regardless of the culture around us.
We never partied at all (except for typically small family or church gatherings) and despite the number of folks we had to interact with never had an issue with being influenced in the negative.

For those crying about decent living and sitting around in the west - the hypocrisy is too much to write about.

the word hypocrisy and the name davidylan can almost not do without the other. No wonder the biggest hypocrite have seen here is you. From your statement,"this sounds more and more to me ike a burdensome. . .", you imply that Islam puts so much burden on its follows but you do agree that a holy christian would also not do what a holy Muslim wouldnt by claiming you never drank blah blah blah..and that doesnt make christianity a burden??. In fact, if an unholy wouldnt do as you didnt, wonder what goes on in a holy man's life. .I must have seen some of such like the ones allowed to watch TV only in church .

I think you seem to be excusing your need to blend in with the culture by claiming you have no choice. I have seen pious muslims in that same nigeria (including those that sacrifice their ego to grow their moustaches and dress in the islamic way). How many of you rather prefer to sit in your jeans and be known as a cool kid too just to feel among? Then you blame the culture for your inability to conform to the strict dictates of your religion?

This actually is a good point. I know you make sense sometimes, you only need to shed a little of your bigotry

Onlytruth: Since Oyo is the 5th most populous state in Nigeria per the official figures, how come that UI is only attracting just 40,011 in JAMB preferrence?
Is it that Oyo citizens hate UI since they are 4th highest enrolling state? Is there a better school in Oyo state than UI?

Or is it that Oyo may not be that populous after all?

consider the possibility of people in oyo state, ibadan to be precise, preferring schools in other states. LAG or OAU as examples.
How about the possibility of them preferring to even go abroad for their studies. ghana is a good example. So is the UK .

Onlytruth: I know there was a time that University of Ibadan was in the same rank as UNN and OAU and UNILAG; how did UI only manage to rank lower than Imo state university in student preferrence? What happened to UI?

UI wouldnt be much preferred because of their requirements. Many students do so well and would readily get admissions elsewhere but would be denied same in UI.

wow

dayokanu: Deols,

Have you noticed that Black women are generally fairer than men?

Even among siblings females are usually fairer than male


So if you even want to marry your own twin sister, you would still be accused of marrying a woman fairer than you

true. But the op's concern does go beyond that.

dare2think: Actually, there are several factors that may induce men in general to go for fairer ladies.
I was helping someone out with her psycology and media essay about the black male body and its portrayal over the past decades, including the colonial era.

The role of the media played a big role the defining the image of black people as in-organized and brute as opposed to the white people, especially white women as pure, innocent and intelligent.

Take for example the picture below;

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ab/'Destroy_this_mad_brute'_WWI_propaganda_poster_(US_version).jpg/170px-'Destroy_this_mad_brute'_WWI_propaganda_poster_(US_version).jpg

It portrays an innocent white, helpless woman at the mercy of a brute 'black' animal

Now compare the physique and mannerism depicted of the black animal to that of Lebron James below;

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4006/4201732155_f86c996051_o.jpg

Notice the 'innocent', 'pure' image of the white lady.

I agree with the role of the media on our psyche But the direct effect it has in this case I cant fathom.

I like people who think like Op does. things don't have to affect you on a personal level before you think of their impacts on the socioeconomic landscape.

But there's something about most African men that makes them go for the fairer ladies even when marrying within their race.

Mother in law should treat the wife like she does her son. Hug her too like she's a daughter to her.

I kiss my brothers and hug them. that's definitely not bad.I hope to extend the same affection to the women they marry. I believe in a big happy family

^^ AMin o. am so happy for him. MashaAllah

[quote author=Unique!]@ poster, it's simple. Simply stop posting replies to posts u find irritating, or even walk away sometimes.

I must say, however, that being here on the family section has really broadened my views on marriage generally. I was for long a silent reader here. I've been married for a number of years, but missed out on a lot of good advice when I was in dire need of them. I made mistakes, lots of them. I did not have the benefit of a different perspective, like I do now, reading from here. You guys don't know how you may be impacting someone's life, one way or another when you post. This section has been an eye opener for me, cos here in Nigeria, we don't have many marriage counselors. In more ways than one, I feel blessed being here, and all thanks to you all who care enough to reply. Don't you for any reason, feel angry when someone disagrees with you, or when your advice is rejected. This is bound to happen cos we are all different and reason differently. This in no way means someone else somewhere is not picking up the advice and using it for their own benefits.[/quote]

olawalebab: yin ni yin ni, keni le se mi.

hmmn. okay.

[quote author=ola_pluto]Salam alaikum dear brothers and sisters. I heard the sudden news of the death of my beloved grandfather last night. He was a great man who championed the cause of Islam in my town and environs. He loved everyone be you Muslim or not. He stood for the right things and I cannot remember anyone having anything against him. He was blessed financially from a young age, and he used his money to make people happy. He sponsored many people's educationand sponsored many people to hajj.
I felt a deep sense of loss when I heard the news yesterday. It has been affecting me even in my solat. I get emotional when reciting some verses. I really pray he makes paradise because he was a good man. I also pray that he finds it easy in his grave. He was not a sheik nor a mallim, but he never joked with his religion.
Brothers and sisters, Please pray for him, even if it is one suratul Ikhlas or ayat kursiy I will appreciate it.Please pray that he does not face any punishment in his grave. Please pray that Allah make it easy for him and all of us on the day of judgement. Please pray that the family he left behind be held in unity.
You do not have to reply this topic, your prayers will be much appreciated. I sincerely hope I can get myself to come to terms with the fact that he is no more. I love him so much. Thanking you in advance.[/quote]May Allah forgive his sins and grant him jannatul firdaus. may He give the entire family the fortitude to bear the loss.

omo rere a gbeyin everyone of us. amin.

gloriana: if u r goin 2 hiss at somebody's suggestion y dint u kip ur problem 2 urself? Good health is a priceless gift n u wnt dat gift,i tel u u'l try herbal drugs. U can cal me on 08036316852 or hiss all u want.

and u wanna sell a product, keep ur advice pulease .the last time i checked, I asked for doctors only. are u one?

FX Elixir: LoL !!!

I just heard her hiss *mmmsssschewww!*

which one u be o. herbal doctor or a real one. thanks anyways

Ogaga4Luv: [size=13pt]<sup>Satan is the Sumerian God known as "EA" or "ENKI." He is a GOD, not an angel! He has been denigrated and slandered through the centuries with falsehoods and lies. Most people do not know Satan. They believe everything they are told about him without question. Fear is a powerful tool that has been used for centuries to keep humanity away from Satan.

Satan is the most brilliant and powerful of the Gods. He is symbolized by the Water Bearer of the sign of Aquarius, the 11th sign of the Zodiac. Aquarius is the sign of humanity, technology and genius. One of Satan's numbers is 11.</sup>[/size]

you say satan is one of the gods. he cannot be the supreme then. Why choose him over the supreme being, the Almighty.

when Nigeria starts policing Africa. .

famzynet: Hi Deols, if d result you got for HB is 64per cent as you said then you do not have anaemia, rather you have polycythaemia which on its own is not very good news. The diets you mentioned can keep a normal person or one with mild anaemia going but you omitted fruits like oranges,pawpaw etc . Cheerio!

I disagree. shouldnt polycythaemia mean an increased rbcs level rather than a decrease? and anaemia is supposed to be Hb level less than 70%?

oh, the fruits? i dont know those as rich sources of iron.

olawalebab: Deols, you are a good example of a Muslimah. Keep it up

don't let my head start swelling o

tbaba1234: Salam

1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married.

This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective.

Marriage is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together




2. Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).

This of course, applies to women as well.


3. If you're looking for a spouse lower your gaze.

This may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes.

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30).

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, ” (Quran 24:31).

This means the two potential spouses can look at each other but not ogle or stare.


4. Get someone to help

Marriage is not something to throw yourself into all by yourself. Getting the help of someone, especially parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or respected and trustworthy members of the Muslim community to either look for the right spouse or initiate and participate in a communication process is very important.

Involving others, by the way, does not mean signing over your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply increases the likelihood of finding out important information about a prospective partner in a way that maintains rules of Islamic modesty (i.e. not meeting alone, see next point).

Getting that third party involved also helps verify if the person you are interested in is decent, honest and respectful. This person(s) often checks out references, asks about the individual's character and behavior, and looks out for your best interest in general.

This person should be a trustworthy Muslim, since you are seeking a Muslim in marriage, and would want someone familiar with the Islamic way of doing things.

For those blessed with Muslim parents, remember that they are probably your best allies and helpers in seeking the right husband or wife. They have known you all of your life, and have your best interest at heart.

However, parents must be open and attentive to what their children are looking for, and never forget the element of choice. Ultimately, it is their son or daughter who is going to make the final decision. They must never become too pushy or aggressive, whether this pressure is being applied on their own son or daughter, or on the person s/he is interested in.

If parents, other family members, an Imam or members of the community are not available, you can also try seeking a husband or wife through the matrimonial services offered by a number of different Muslim organizations.

5. Always ask for references

This is also where your “third party” comes in handy. Not only will they be able to be your reference. They can also check out a prospective mate's references.

A reference can include an Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the woman you may want to marry well, a family friend, a boss, a co-worker, and/or business partner.

A note about honesty and references: the people you ask may know something not very nice about your prospective spouse. Remind them that if they reveal this information, they would not be backbiting from the Islamic perspective. In fact, in the case of seeking marriage, complete information should be given about an individual, both good and bad.

The advice of one of the companions of the Prophet, Umar Ibn al-Khattab, can help in this regard:

A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and spoke in praise of another. Umar asked him: “Are you his nearest neighbor such that you know his goings and his comings?”

“No.”

“Have you been his companion on a journey so that you could see evidence of his good character?”

“No.”

“Have you had dealings with him involving dinars and dirhams [money] which would indicate the piety of the man?”

“No.”

“I think you saw him standing in the mosque muttering the Quran and moving his head up and down?”

“Yes.”

“Go, for you do not know him, ”

And to the man in question, Umar said, “Go and bring me someone who knows you.”

(quoted from Islam The Natural Way by Abdul Wahid Hamid, p. 66)

This gives you three types of people you can ask about a prospective mate's character: a neighbor, business colleague or someone who has traveled with them.

6. When you meet, don't be alone

The Prophet said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” (Tirmidhi).

He also advised men: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees” (Bukhari, Muslim).

Meeting alone, in the hotel room during a conference for instance, is not permissible. The prospective spouses should not place themselves in a situation where no one else can see or hear them. Because that could lead to fornication.


I hope this is helpful

You can see more info here

http://www.soundvision.com/Info/Islam/mar.6adab.asp

In addition, perform istikhara

AbuHanifa: Alhamdulilah, my wife to be surname and my surname are exactly the same...what a good match

good for you

uplawal: Asalamu Alaykum everyone,is doing household chores the duty of a married man that has gone to search for survival,i bet if any wannabe wife would find such man,very rare to find,i mean, why would a busy man come home to do chores when hes got a wife at home,except if shes pregnant,it can be understandable if both are working and busy,then,its better for them to hire a maid.

sis Uplawal, wa alaykum salam. Doing the house chores may not be his duties. They are not the wife's either---that is the point. whatever works for each couple. many WOmen would take pride in doing all of these things sef But a woman not doing it is not necessarily a bad wife, according to Islam.

I would also tell to the men that they dont need to ask for any permission before they marry mathna,but they should fear Allah by treating all four equally

I said the same thing. that a man doesnt need an excuse to marry another WOman.

,and wives should obey their husbands even if you have to[b] wash his clothes[/b],plates,mop,cook etc,as long as not against Allah's command.

I wouldnt like to do the bold. And dont worry about me, I'll let him know that before I marry him.

Obinrin to ba gboran si oko lenu,awon omo won man ni Al-barka.

hmmmn!

maclatunji: Is it impossible to marry as second wife a rich beautiful virgin for Jihad? The way you bolded 'poor' there got me asking the question.

you would have to tell me what makes her a jihad case then. what would the man have given as an excuse to marry her.

vedaxcool: Seconded, Nigerian men no too sabi pet! Truly only those married can answer why? Maybe they undergo petting fatigue who knows, women too should also join in the petting, and maybe we could start a loving your spouse more revolution, who knows? A verse in the Qur'an says Allah has place companssion in the hearts of men as a sign to mankind, so let compassionalise our spouses, charity begins from gida/home.

I support. let's see how it can happen

sino: @ no. 5, Love, romance, sex etc are topic that have been made difficult to talk about by muslims and no thanks to what the media has turn these lawful things to mean this days.
@vedaxcool, i support your revolution. Seriously speaking, going on a date with your wife and having a romantic dinner is not harram na? I can understand my pa and ma not doing so in their days, but not this generation.

okay. let the revolution start

I donno how Muslims came to assume such talks are unIslamic. it is really bad that many people go into marriages without knowing what is expected of them and when they need help, are too shy to seek it.

I tried sometime ago to get some sisters to have a lecture on divorce. You need to have seen the objection I received and of course it did not happen. God forbid that I ever have a divorce o But I just think if you'r going into a place, it is safer you know how to exit and that isnt even unIslamic.