Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Since you're done, get it over with. However, I dont believe you truly are, which is why you posted this "SOS" in the first place. For that reason, you have to keep fighting. Try calling his and your family into the matter this time and let them know all about the marriage history. There are two sides to a story, let's see if he has frustration issues or some pent up anger issues ... bust your bubble no marriage is rosy, its all work!

Another flip to this story is that your husband might be undergoing tensions he is not yet able to cope with. That tension could be this very marriage. If I may give you two cents,help him through it by being his peace. As for seeking happiness outside, that is 'looking outside already' if you kwim.

How can someone be chewing amala for example? Something that's already been made into a paste? spits!

This post is an eyesore.

;DThe babe is fressshhh... No wonder Mr. lecturer started running mouth like tap water wey see correct pumping.

NkemChukwudi:


Ta ni baba ti e? who be your father - IPOB!

IPOB kor IPAD ni. Ara o bale, ti oo ba fe ki oro re dabi labalaba to n foju dina, get off my mentions!

NkemChukwudi:


Enu baba e lo nrun!

Ko de nii da fun e. Eru Buhari.

Enu yin n run sir.

doctokwus:

Let me ask you a simple question?
Can Nigeria cultivate enough rice to feed it's population?
Why do you think no one complains about cassava used in making eba,and yam and why we don't import those,including other examples like tomatoes,onions,pepper etc?
It's simply because we produce those in sufficient quantities.
Now the prices have gone astronomically high because the demand that hasn't increased is no longer being met by adequate supply.
Finally,to show the level of ineptitude being displayed on a daily basis by this dullard-in-chief in Chief and the embarrassment to which ar se lickers put yourself in with your comments,do you know that China and America,two of the world's highest producers of rice,still import about 10% of their rice needs each?
Of course you wouldn't know because knowledge and critical assessment of the government are too tasking for your type of brain.

Nigeria is/was the largest importer of tomatoes in the world, even though it produces large enough quantities, as you have pointed out in this comment. Why would a nation produce so much and still have to import so largely?- Lack of adequate and effective processing and storage facilities. This is where the govt and concerned stakeholders ought to look into before sealing off the boarders.

I refuse to accept that these people are human beings. They are beasts or worse... Islam however has nothing to do with what these people prioritize. They are just plain bastards trying to use belief to tame the lot.

Arabirin, fi ti kesari fun kesari. Shey it is Sanwolu that is in charge of tax ni?

The poster of this vid no do well at all. If he was so interested in this case to the extent of taking a video of it, then, going ahead to call out Uber, he ought to have done the assignment of investigative journalism well. As far as Im concerned, the man in question might not even be a Uber driver in the first place. No be by force to post videos abeg.
On the other hand, some ladies (especially those in college) lack home training. So, at one point or the other, cannot but be humiliated like this.

E fun weyrey latori boya ko nii ta ji

edi287:

If leaders are truly the reflection of the masses - then Nigeria is beyond help.
Deep down I know (hope) it isn't so but only God can explain why we have had shitty leaders.
No one cares as long as it's their tribe providing the shittiness. It's just too sad.

Most Nigerians I know are penny wise pounds foolish because when it comes to definition of success in the average Nigerian context, it is simply about how well an individual is able to keep his stomach filled, build a hut, ride a car. No foresight on how to create value and wealth that could stand the test of time. This exactly is what the average politician reflects. He is not concerned about keeping the nation up with latest advances because he has accepted he is just a third world, so his policies are centered about how to consume, never to contribute.

Greenarrow01:
Still waiting for the day that y'all will produce unmanned drones and sophisticated military wares.
We are suppose to be the power house of Africa, or atleast westafrica
There shouldn't be a G7 without Nigeria or atleast one African country.
But unfortunately, our military bosses have used our money to buy walking stick finish.
Bokoharam can't be sooo sophisticated that we are unable to attack their stronghold at one swoop, we have the jets, the helis and the army.
But then.. They want the war to go on for years, not minding the cost implication of ban rolling the war.
The politicians kuku can't do anythingss
As military men they chop their own, civilians too they steal their own.
Oh there was a country

Oga, you have said everything finish. It is a sorry case oh and I dont think there is a solution.

The fight for your liberation was a fight for humanity, and it is normal for any right thinking nation, especially black African nations to support your cause. So, no hero talks here. However, implying in any way that Nigeria did not play very active roles at that time, is humbug, is absolutely typical of an ingrate, or an ignoramus whose sense of history is suffering from some chronic deficiency, and should consequently, not be taken seriously.

XhosaNostra:
Funny because we also didn't know of your existence until you started making noise about your so called heroism, which I must add, we don't recognize.

We might talk about sins Nigerians living in your land might have/ are committing, which themselves are aided by concrete crime structures already deep rooted in your society, but, that is a story for another day.

We did not know you even existed at the time, less that your asses needed some protection

XhosaNostra:


Lol, we're back to this fantastical storyline where you feature as a hero, again? Where were you when we won the battle of Isandlwana against the British?

Jaqenhghar:

Like I said you take them too seriously. They can bark and howl from now till hell freezes over you know whats up and they know the truth. Let them keep yapping. Their talk wont stop the queues at the South African embassy.

Nigerians are actually travellers, explorers, name it, by nature, and are always ready to kick off to anywhere opportunity thrives. Not sit-at-homes like black S.Africans. We will keep coming and you wont be able to shut your door on us, cos we contribute to your local economy. The victim here could have met his death from wherever, but, you have a problem, and that is xenophobia. Deal with it.

Nigerians and hospitality... Very sure the guys he bumped knuckles with will start bragging up and down about how they are intimate friends with Joshua since when he was inside his mother's womb, even if that was the first time they are meeting him by chance... Joshua kill dem dia!

If your parents are not sending you out, it is free housing and you should count yourself lucky. My cousin who is 2 years older than you still lives with his parent despite the fact that the 400k you have saved up so far is less than what nigga spends on unwinding in a month. smarten up my brother!

Hullabaloon:
Guys I need advice on what to do at this point in my life.

Got a job, in my state, place of work not far from parent's house (rented flat).

I've managed to save up to 400k so far, I've always longed to move away from my parent's house and get my own place, but they'd always kick against it, citing that there's no need for that since work is close to home. Left for them, they'd like me to stay till I plan for marriage whenever that will be; Lol, parents sha.

I'm already 28 years old, so I think it's time.

My colleagues already yab me anytime they get the opportunity, they love reminding me that I still dey chop mama thank you.

Problem is, the job security at my place of work is not that encouraging. I have older colleagues who have been in the company for 8 to 15 years, I've also, within my short period (less than a year now) seen about 5 workers sacked, it's a place where any thing can happen at any time.

So, should I invest this 400k in renting and furnishing an apartment with the constant uncertainty hovering over the job,and no side income yet, or should I continue staying with my parents while I invest the money in a side business which I don't know how it'll fare...

Now, frankly speaking, I'm not cut out for business, it's not my forte at all, so starting any at all comes with great risk but I still feel the need for another source of income.

On the flip side, Staying with my parents is not even as economical as most would think. Ever since I got the job, parents no dey gree say them get money again. All the bills are on me.

I'm just confused.

Salary fluctuates between 60 to 80k

Do whatever you feel is smart with your savings. If you lack ideas so bad,open a fixed deposit account or buy shares.

Sadists you say? In better climes, he would have done the needful since... but in Nigeria, well, in Nigeria. Btw, Shey if it was your mother that was assaulted that way, would you be happy until he got served his due punishment? It is easy to say these things man, but it is not half as easy to experience them. Well, if you are inclined towards the notion that some animals are more equal than others though, you and your opinion is vindicated

King44:
all of you calling for his prosecution are sadist what would it profit you, the little he has experienced in the last few days for his action is enough to serve as a warning to him and others that war is coming if such happens again

he should be left to represent is people
he should be taken to court it's enough

He would not be a good example/ deterrent up until justice gets served to term.

Some animals are more equal than others. Iykyk

cococandy:
For me, finances don’t come into it like that because it simply says that if the man isn’t able to provide, then he shouldn’t be given his due respect. Is that what we are saying?

Everyone deserves it whether you’re the one providing or not. There’s more that makes a family than money.
The person making the money isn’t doing the most work.

Also don’t know what an African wife means in this contest. It could mean anything based on who’s saying it. (Respectful? Doormat? Industrious? Meek? What?)

Isnt that what we are saying? Far as I understand, humility and respect are NOT mutually exclusive, and all these feminists dont do humility. It is always a matter of if im cooking, he should be doing the dishes. Isnt it?

Lol. One side trying to prove the other wrong

tactius:


Economics plus accountant?

How is the talk at the dinner table..?