₦airaland Forum

Believe you me, you're better than 99 percent of the world adult population. This is so because you have achieved self-illumination - sexually. And by extension - citing your submission herein - you now live on principle over expediency.

In summary, yes, you'll sure find a husband, especially among those of the conscientious, unorthodox and realistic ethical leanings.

Odiegwu!

Raddie:
In saner climes I agree.
Mind I ask, are you in nigeria?

Presently, I'm on a temporary business trip outside the shores of the country - but sure, I'm a bona fide Nigerian and a strong believer in the Nigeria project.

@OP

Your cousin has a genuine concern, because a dimple is hereditary. But he has to play with caution, to avoid crucifying an innocent woman. Remember, every hereditary attribute/distinctiveness started with someone.

"wise people tends to change their decisions where and when necessary while fools never make changes."

tit:
How you take know?
All this big men do rituals and carry drugs.
Dangote cup has fool.

Perspective of a poor person is truly the bane of his wretchedness.

Show me a real wealthy person and I'll point to you an ambitious not greedy, ingenious not deceitful person. Honesty still remains the best policy in business.

Enough of the misconception and prejudice about the real men of wealth.

OP

You tried a bit with your postulations. However, those aren't solutions instead they're just like placebos.

The fundamental matters a lot in anything. One cannot give on a permanent basis that which s/he doesn't innately have. One's ethical philosophy is the realistic determinant factor of her attributes and by extension some attitudes. There are two types of ethical philosophies, viz: (a) manipulator and (b) diplomat.

- A person of manipulative ethical leaning always choose expediency over principle. She's superficial, therefore for her to feel respected by her man/for her man to gain her respect, the man must pay for it materially. And the very moment the man lose his control power (the material thing), she will jettison him/feel disrespected/withdraw her feigned respect and affection for the man. She's conceited, ungrateful, pretentious, hypocritical ect. Her second name is vice.

- Meanwhile, a person of diplomatic ethical leaning always choose principle over expediency. She's not superficial, all you need to have her feel respected/gain her respect are altruism, civility, fidelity, ambition and industriousness. Here you've a realist. She's contented, grateful, honest, civil, reciprocative etc. In fact, she's a virtuous woman.

In summary, both men and women should endeavour to know their ethical personalities and choose as life partners one that shares same with them.

"Manipulators lose credibility diplomats gain it."

"It only takes a self-realized person to treat others (irrespective of social strata) as equals."

You deserved her cruelty. Manipulators lose credibility, diplomats gain it. I wonder why petty people do find it hard to treat others the way they would always be happy to be treated. Anyway, that's why they're petty, because they expect: respect from others but metes out arrogance. They expect loyalty from others but metes out disloyalty. They're conceited but wishes to be treated like smart people. They're domineering and metes out same to others, however they expect others to allow them to exercise their freewill.

You sent for her to come and take the food stuff and money you brought from your trip from Nigeria, and she came... Good. Then, after sometimes again you told her to come and collect another care package money, but she politely told you to bring it to her; but no, you refused and flared up. How could a whole you honor her request and, of course, that was the rightful opportunity to perfect your preconceived alienation against her pending when she delivers, so that you would go and share in the joy as a proud and smart latest father in town - of course, your plan worked out until now that a hunter has become the hunted. Lol.

Experience remains to best teacher. However, prayer always is, may one never be consumed in the cause of experimenting.

@OP

To err is human and to forgive is divine. For one, she's not a harden liar, that's a plus for her. And this simply means that you can condition (I didn't say control) her the way you wish her to be as a person you intends to adore, live for and with, for the rest of your life. Just imagine if she was the type that is innately a lair, I mean no amount of pressure and prosecution from you would have made her to own up, since you didn't catch her on spot of the vice. This latter type of ladies/people are harden liars and they can kill and still feign holy. Hypocrisy is evil.

Now, since you said you had been faithful to her all these years, it means that you have got the most important requisite of an attribute that a partner that longs for happy, loving and peaceful home front is expected to have. And of course, she must be committed to the relationship to make this happen. You can know if she's committed to the relationship, if she do really and genuinely cares for its continuous existence.

When the above feet is achieved, spell it out to her that the only way you can remain in the relationship and even build a future with her is, if she agrees on reciprocation of actions and inaction henceforth. . . . This shouldn't be a threat but a promise, say it and act it. Rewarding good deeds with good deeds and evil with evil. No apologies, I'm a proponent and practitioner of Newtown's third law of motion.

Ah! It's only someone who''ve achieved self-realization, and one that is of the diplomat ethical philosophy leaning that would understand my submission and be able to apply it.

A real leader is one known for always leaving any environment better than s/he met it.

Good one. Meanwhile, impunity is when immunity covers head of elected executive officers at state and federal levels - their persons cannot be sued - but yet they can sue someone.

Our constitution is flawed in this regard. . . This is not about PMB.

MChaze25:
My dear the truth is that anybody can fake any attitude too.
The weakness of women lies in their tongues. Are you a learner?
Just ask her simple questions and watch her fumble if she is the bad character type

It's either that you didn't read well my comment or you don't know the difference between attribute and attitude.

@OP

These types of testing you listed here in particular and any other type at large makes no real sense (no insult intended toward your person). This is so because any girl that has intentions of retaining you as her final bus stop, from the inception of meeting you, would put up maximum pretentious regalia to outsmart you with such tests.

Why testing someone when you can know their attributes? I mean, attitude - which represent passing or failing of a temporary test can be faked. Whereas attribute - which is the main thing to look out for - is innate.

Any highly sensitive and analytical mind don't need more than few times of physical and oral correspondences to know another's attributes.

nenergy:
We really need to up our game by offering quality service with competitive cost. Imagine Glo, it should be #1 but poor quality is killing them.

The truth is that as a people majority of us has fundamental ethical problem. An average Nigerian businessman/ enterprise do mistake deceit for ingenuity and conceitedness for smartness. A situation whereby one had rather pay for and expect unmerited favour from divine source (illusion) rather than to assemble the best of specialist to provide a top notch end products is appalling, to say the least. We value expediency over principle.

Honestly, I don't blame any generalist service provider in any sector of the economy that outsources any of its job to foreigners like the true industrious, efficient and effective Indians. Many a time, even in a well structured enterprise with disciplined personnel, to depend on the same internal personnel to get some certain works done is akin to inviting collapse of such venture.

Relationship between an employer and employee is likened to the relationship between the West and a third world country like our beloved Nigeria. It's a case of predator vs leech. The former can never lose to the latter.

People's ethical leaning usually determine their attitudes. A people that do mix up conceitedness for smartness, and deceit for ingenuity will always have in abundance opportunists; and of course, opportunism is a major hallmark of manipulators. We need more altruists.

The population of my dear country is made up of 99 percent of receivers and only 1 percent of givers. So, the ladies aren't alone when it comes to loving money, because greed knows no gender.

When two opportunists of different classes (leech and predator) meet, the end result is the mantra you hear; ladies love money according to guys. And guys are only after our honey pots according to the ladies.

Genuine relationship never entails any of the parties involved to embrace/imbibe self-enslavement. Therefore, whenever your partner deliberately become a source of pain to you, know that s/he is an evil and should be discarded with alacrity. Absence of peace isn't only witnessed in time of war, but in a toxic relationship, too.

@OP, You will only deserve pain the potential opportunist (gold digger) intends to mete toward you, if you're a hypocritical and pretentious person. Because all these vices-attributes belong to people that are of manipulative ethical linen.

Actually, what two genuine people in a relationship owes to each other are altruism, civility, honesty and loyalty. All these attributes breeds understanding, which itself breeds love.

@OP

It's obvious from your post herein that you are an uninformed and biased politician, and of course, a Tinubu apologist. Actually, the series of defeats Tinubu suffered since his venture into politics at the federal level points to the fact that all the while he was lording Lagos politics, he was just in the class of a manipulator not a diplomat as many had thought (you still do - wake up). . . . As the saying goes; manipulators lose credibility but diplomats gain it. So, far what I see from your post under discussion is a cry of a served manipulator.

In politics 1 plus 1 is never equal to 2. There's a difference between when a leader is dealing with his proteges and when dealing with associates. Most proteges assumed humbleness are at best servitude rather than loyalty. You never can know the true character of a man until he assumes full independence. A protege will worship you so long as her immediate needs are met. Wise men never converts slaves to associates.

Now talking about Akerek the Ondo governor elect, it baffles me to hear most of you assumed that it was Tinubu that brought him into partisian politics. This is quite laughable. He was at best Tinubu's associate never his boy. The mere fact that he once supported him didn't in anyway made him his boy then. He never conscript him into the race then, instead he (Tinubu) bought his proposal. I still maintain that an associate is different from a protege (boy or servant).

On the events that took place during the NASS elections, what many of you Tinubu apologists and he himself failed to realize was/is that he's just a component of the components that makes up APC. Overconfidence is a bastard. Saraki and his associates only thought him a reverse of politics 102. Lol. The president would've made a fool of himself if he had intervened as you herein wished. Tinubu is not special that's the message.

On Kogi matter, it's still the same case. Yaya Bello did what every conscientious politician in his position then would have done. He didn't lose the APC primary to Audu on a level playing ground, so someone like me wasn't surprised he acted the way he did. And luckily for him, the unexpected happened to Audu which finally perfect what was to be. . . . his ascension to the seat.

Why must it always be either Tinubu's way or no other way?

FortuneTeller:
Diplomaticbeing

I have read her other posts. D guy is using her for greencard marriage. He is a liar.

Actually, my appraisal was solely based on her post in this thread under discussion. Meanwhile, citing your submission, maybe she should humble herself - rephrase and restructure her post - and solicit for a due diligence opinions.

Olanna45:
guess i need to update my dictionary. thank you.

I know you'd do the same for me. By the way, imperfection is what makes us human and unequal to the source of all. So, keep your head up, because you're good already.

Olanna45:
First and foremost, there is no such word as "Prideful"

Secondly, not all Nigerian men are liars and proud.

Finally, no country has a monopoly of proud men who lie too.

So please, stop the generalization.

Come on! The word "prideful" do exist. When someone is not just proud but also assumes that she's more smart or beautiful or pious than others, the person is termed prideful. Much more like conceit.

I wonder when your husband became a standard for what Nigerian men are. . . . Next time learn how to use the word "some," when need be.

Meanwhile, some of us who aren't petty really don't tell lies, but of course we can be diplomatic over some certain things. Also, we aren't boisterous.

About lie: There's a difference between a lie and diplomacy. A lair's intention is to gain something from you (another person) without minding how it will affect you. This entails choosing expediency over principle. Here you have a petty person; a manipulator. By the way, hypocrisy isn't known for a particular gender.

On the other hand, diplomacy entails one protecting his interest, but without intention of inflicting harm to the other person(s). This is about placing principle over expediency. Here you have a realist; a diplomat.

From the analogy above, would still assume your husband a lair or a diplomat?

The reason why I always propagate the importance of one putting up with another that shares same ethical personality with her/him, is to avoid stories that touches. Every human being is either diplomatic or manipulative.

Up your game. Don't allow her to cow you... unless you're a pretender. Believe you me, it's not possible for a sane and genuine persons to romantically love one another without first having close familiarization with each other. What do you know about her attributes and vise versa. Don't forget that attitudes can be faked, so for now, you have infatuation for her (possibly because of her physical beauty and composure - of course I know that the eye must first eat and get satisfied - but it's just one of the component processes that breeds love not the end product itself) not love. But the good thing is that the infatuation can metamorphose to love, if both of you finds most of each other's attributes pleasing, after close familiarization. She has to let you into her life first.

More so, you're been superficial where you said that she's natural with references to her wardrobe collections and make-up dispositions. Don't you realized that some people appears humble not because they're innately self-effacing but rather because they have no choice - poverty is a bastard remember.

Superficiality; the number one root cause of retrogression.

Nma27:
You broke up with her just because of that? Where's the Love huh?

It amuses me whenever I hear a question like yours. For all I know, good attitudes plus physical appearance (beauty is the eye of the beholder) are what constitutes love. The word love literally and sincerely cannot stand on its own/have any meaning without constituents.

@OP

You're just being real. Kudos. However, you can give her another chance, since she seemed remorseful. . . . . at least she now knows that she's dispensable, so she either learn to turn a new leaf or you take a permanent walk. The good thing is that in the absence of attribute there's attitude; which can be learned or faked.

A gutless guy is different from a nice guy. . . . Here you have a pretender. Hypocrisy personified.

Meanwhile, an arrogant, domineering, selfish and uncivil guy, literally, is also different from a bad guy. Here you have a brat/rude guy. . . Sensible, independent and mature ladies never put up with them.

On the other hand, it takes a civil, conscientious, altruistic and reciprocative guy to be a nice-bad guy . . . . Ladies man. A nice-bad guy never long for control, but yet he's always in charge of his relationship and environment - he never lose guard.

In summary, whom the uninformed assumed as "bad" guy is a true definition of a nice guy in practicality.

Love at first sight occurs when infatuation on someone transcends to loving the same person's attributes on close familiarization.

So, yes, there's something like love at first sight.

KingRex1:
You're wise!!

You're wise too. . . As you know, it takes a thief to catch a thief. Hahaha.


Happy weekend.

@OP

The problem with people like you is that you're not conscientious; I mean, citing the connotation of your post, it's obvious that your position on abstinence from se.x so far is superficially induced rather than being a position taken because of your good morality (intrinsic). This is hypocrisy.

Well, since you fall into the category of people that value expediency over principle, I'd say do whatever you can to keep your referenced man - that's if he's worth keeping.

Of course, the one on the offensive side of the root cause of the divorce will be most affected. And the reason for this is that s/he had put in the best of efforts in all ramifications to make the marriage a success when it lasted, but to no avail. But the good thing is that in the long run, s/he will laugh last, because the just will always prevail over the unjust. . . . One who laughs last, always laughs the best.

True talk Fashola.