₦airaland Forum

Respect is earned not given . . . . By the way, I hope you weren't expecting her to be fearing you - make sure that you weren't mixing loyalty with servitude. How exactly did she disrespects you? For example an outspoken woman is different from a contentious woman, I believe you should know this.

Well, if truly you have been altruistic, civil and faithful towards her, yet she still disrespects you, then obviously over familiarity is the cause. However, such attitude is a bad one. Only a petty person capitalizes on overfamiliarity to abuse others. That's a sign of rudeness and conceitedness.

I believe you should know what to do to end the overfamiliarity if finally it happens to be the reason for the arguable disrespects she metes at you.

@OP

Before you crucify a possible faithful girl, kindly take note that something like the kind of primary and secondary education she had could have been the major reason she graduated with a 3rd class. Besides, to graduate from FUTO is not easy, especially for someone that attended a community primary and secondary schools in the hinterland. Most of the people that came through the aforementioned backgrounds normally passed their SSCE and JAMB through runs (sometimes not because they wish to, but because of the poor standards of the schools/teachers, coupled with poverty and misconceptions about corruption being the means to attain greatness in life). Therefore, they always finds it hard to assimilate quickly when they finds themselves at the higher institutions.

As a lawyer you said you're, I'd expects you to use your analytical and sensitive attributes/attitudes to know her level of IQ and personality traits. . . . Believe you me, I only need less than a day of physical contact with someone to know the person's attributes and level of IQ.

Don't judge her by her past or formal academic grade, rather make your decision based on whom she presented herself to be at present. Good luck.

I wonder why and how people that live orthodox lifestyle still expects to make a difference. The guy in question has himself to blame. Same goes for any lettered person anywhere that's unemployed.

By the way, I don't see anything wrong with being a photography, especially if he has passion for it.

I love her seeming simple persona. Superficiality should be discouraged by all responsible entities. I know that she would be the self-effacing and altruistic type. This is obviously while she's marrying late (if my guess of this being her first attempt to marriage is correct). I wish them HML in advance.

Some people and superficial lifestyle! All the same, I wish them all the best.

When two opportunists; a predaceous and a leechlike persons meet, the result is what's obtainable here. Well, as much as you have your flaws, just like every other human beings yet, I see some good attributes in you too.

Meanwhile, what I can deduce is the problem with your housemate of a guy is that he's yet to experience self-realization. I won't say that he hates you. If only he knows the attributes not attitudes he cherishes in a potential wife, then your immediate problem will be halve solved - try your best to find out from him either directly or indirectly about 10 attributes he cherishes in a potential wife. When you do, be truthful to yourself, if you tick about 90 percent of the boxes, then be rest assured that you will not regret marrying him in the long run. . . . Don't allow the difficulties of today to ruin your future.

On the other hand, don't undermine the efficacy of temporary separation in matters like this.

TomHagen:
What pray tell is the standard of what God is?. A certain moniker m.iladi writes this same kind of crap.
Falsehood laced in big grammar.

I don't join issues with religious fanatics because of their conceited, myopic and hypocritical attitudes.

@OP, don't lose your theist orientation instead change your workdview. There's is God (creator). However, the easiest way for an inquisitive mind to become an atheist is by being or becoming a religious proponent and practitioner - especially a Christian. Foremost, the bible and other of the so called holy books are not standard of what God is. He didn't inspire the author's. . . . This doesn't make the books and its contents useless, no. They are still great books written by some of the most enlightened entities of the yore. They are human conceived thoughts and made, thus their imperfections. An unchangeable God couldn't have inspired an old and new testaments as evident in the bible. As human beings, we're imperfect manifestation of the perfect God.

Before I go on, I, for one, is tolerant of every human beings, so I hold no ill against religious people. However, I relate with people based on their attributes not even attitudes.

Since it's expected that an action must takes place before a reaction will occurs, then permit me to say that the action in this simple analogy represents the God I know. He's just. And he has no rival. Good and evil are creations of our actions and inaction. A gift of freewill makes us the deciders of our destiny. Everything we need to exist independent of his minutes interventions he had already provided to us all. This explains why he neither needs our prayers (as obtainable in Nigeria for eg) nor expects our praises.

To reverent him is to do better for ourselves. I try to reverent him through an act's of altruism towards my fellow human beings. Since I feel good when I do good to others and if I do bad also, I feel bad myself, then I need not told by anyone to choose good over evil.

Stop expecting anything from God, instead rely on the provisions he had already made available to solve your needs (by your self or through other human beings). Embrace humanism. I'm for humanism.

She exhibited an attribute of an altruistic person. Kudos and blessings to her and all she holds dear.

Now, to you the beneficiary, I wish you all the best too. Meanwhile, kindly don't take the route of petty people. A typical petty person in your situation would try to capitalize on the benefactor's kindness and become a leech towards her and her household - all in the name of trying to show appreciation and create familiarity.

Without knowing your benefactor, I know that asides her been an altruistic person, she's also self-effacing - so don't go exposing her to the world of hypocrites and sycophants - she doesn't need publicity, believe you me.

Leave things as they are now. Don't stalks her with needless calls. And don't go meeting her with your husband without tactically getting her consent first.

The bitter truth is that not everybody can live/endure suffering and smiling lifestyle. When a man's lifestyle is necessitated by ambition not pride or greed, he tends to live and act at the periphery of conventionalism. So I see no evil in a maverick person who vows not to marry on a meagre 50k naira monthly wage.

That been said, yet those who like to manage it's their choice too. After all, there are some families that do not have a permanent source/hope of monthly income and they are still surviving and living.

The elders dream dreams, while the youths see visions. Well, OP, if you're a dreamer as a youth, then blame yourself not the ladies that dump you and your ilks.

Since when did your smelling mother, sister(s), wife/girlfriend(s) become a standard for all women?

I've no answer to your stupid question, because I don't walk the routes of a pettier like you.

poundsanddollars:
Sources have reported that the super Eagles star is sueing his former club to court over unpaid salaries. Lazio owe Ogenyi Onazi salaries for May and June 2017. The midfielder has written a letter to the Italian club.

A source close to the player told said the midfielder is being owed two months’ salary by the Italian Serie A club.

“Onazi is taking Lazio to FIFA over-unpaid salary,” the source said.

“He is not happy with them and has contacted Lazio over the issue but it seems they are not ready to pay. He served them letter to this effect already.”

It can be recalled that Ogenyi Onazi featured for Nigeria at last weeks African nations qualifiers.

http://www.djluxy..com/2016/10/ogenyi-onazi-to-sue-lazio-to-court.html

May and June 2017 my foot. Dullard bloggers dispensing junks as news since the inception of internet.

.

@OP

Your pettiness stinks. Only a petty man would be afraid to marry an enlightened woman. A petty man (person) possesses manipulative attributes. So obviously, he would not like to marry an enlightened and sane woman from not neither of those professions. However, I am certain that he would be glad to marry a servile woman in those professions - petty people and their love for oppression is like bread and butter.

Attribute is everything. Virtuous women abounds in those professions and beyond. So as a man, if you're the altruistic and faithful type, you can marry and have a happy family with an equally altruistic and faithful woman in any of those professions.

Attitude can be learned or faked, but attribute is innate. It takes a highly analytical and sensitive person to decode attributes and differentiates them from attitudes. Either sexes should look before they leap.

Manipulators loses credibility; diplomats gain it. Become a diplomatic personality today.

[quote author=Miladi post=49868925]@OP, kudos. Knowing little above an average in a discipline can earn one a big formal education degree and title, e.g. PhD and by extension a professorship. But that doesn't mean the holder is necessarily truly educated.

The real educated people I know are versatile and informed. Also they're productive. Meanwhile, guess what; majority of them lacks the patience nay obedience/confinement it takes to acquire paper certificates.

An unproductive literate is only better than a slowpoke, because of his ability to gloss his ignorance with the mastery of a lingua franca.

ElSherriff:
hahahahahahahaha, thought as much, a very little minded, mammoth retard again, got caught in exactly the big headed antics he was trying to spew, instead of acknowledging that nobody has the monopoly of intelligence, he sits back and tries to masturbate on the corridors of grammar and self glorification. Hello kid, if you ever get lucky as to knowing who I am and what I have achieved in intellects, reasoning and cognitive thinking do well to throw a party. Good luck rotting in hell for all your 'trashes' induced schizophrenia. [s]Ode, (penned than hahaha)is me that know pass people like you[/s]

Your blood too the hot, calm down. Lol.

deathcomestoall:
Most of his posts are very flawed and he makes it appear as if he's struggling with his own relationship life, reason why he gives so much advice everytime. As the saying goes, those with so much advice have the most issues.

Exactly.

histemple:
You could have made your points without this unwarranted attack on the OP. If you think you are more knowledgeable, why not educate the house rather than this uncivil conduct?

From what I read, the OP merely expressed what he knows, perhaps based on experience or research.

Shut up!

ElSherriff:
You miss the point, he didnt sound as though he had monopoly, he only showed passages from authoritative sources (the Bible and the Quran), now your postulation that love is reciprocal is not the bone of contention here, he didnt dwell on a give and take thing, he only showed what submission could earn a woman and that in my opinion maybe inadvertently earning the man's submission too! The circle starts from one point initially and if both parties do their bits, then it can be a peaceful big family circle. [s]Its me that know pass people like you shior[/s]

Hahaha! "Its me that know pass people like you shior" really? Well, I don't join issues with slowpokes, so swerve. Only engage me in dialog if you have the ability to reason beyond a penned than submission. Servitude is different from loyalty. By the way, I wonder who the hell told you and your ilks that everyone has the trashes called "holy books" as standard. Kindly look for your mates elsewhere.

Obedient is better than sacrifice hence more glorifying - by this axiom I'm in no way advocating/supporting anyone to demand/expect servitude instead of loyalty from one's equals and subordinates alike, no.

The truth remains that the guy was self-conceited not smart. Wise people knows how to choose their battles. Only a foolish person would go to war and expects his adversary to treat him with kid glove.

As much as I admires maverick people of which I am one myself, yet it takes a mixture of diplomacy to always have your way as a masses advocate. He who lost a battle should never expect a heroic status.

If you're not an elected and recognized student leader, don't take over the fight of unionists to fight the authority in the institution. Even a unionist is expected to be tactical when prosecuting a war - you don't abuse personnel in the cause of a struggle. This is common sense.

To the "in a sane clime" bandwagoners, since most of you haven't crossed the shore of the country, please keep quiet.

beautiful232:
all men cheat
now is even worst cause men now feel it very normal for them to cheat

I am going to learn a lot about marriage before I go into it

Cause I wanna have the best marriage even

This kind of thought process belied that smart looking person on your DP - general opinions are not always right. Sagacious people always live their lives at the periphery of conventionalism - become one.

OP and his myopic thoughts as usual. You have failed to learn that being self-conceited is not the same thing as being smart. Stop sounding like you're an authority in marriage matters.

Kindly stop dispensing misinformation, becuase it leads to misconception which is the bedrock of ill attitudes.

Altruism and fidelity and their reciprocation towards each other on the parties involved in a marriage will always lead to a healthy and happy marriage. A healthy and happy marriage is one where both parties involved are internally happy.

Absence of peace doesn't only occurs in a time of war, no. But also in any kind of relationship (marriage) where one of the parties involved is expected to embrace self-enslavement to sustain it - your parochial postulation here as a case study.

Either of the sexes who abhors altruism and fidelity deserves no respect and association of a sane and sound partner. In my school of thought , irresponsibility is not celebrated and can never be an option for cooperation.

Hahaha! OP, stop looking for trouble where non exist. Dreams are not always exact of its waking life meaning.

Work on yourself esteem - you feel inadequate in a particular aspect of your waking life. This is the meaning of your dream.

I am glad that Dangote shares the same thought and sentiment with me.

The essence of acquiring an assets is mainly to shore up investment portfolio, while maintaining the product/service line that yields the constant cash inflow. Therefore, at a time when the cash inflow entity has a clog and requires overhauling, the most honourable thing to do is either to lease/sale an available asset to bring it back to function.

The worst mistake the FG would do at this juncture will be to go borrowing from IMF and its ilks. Until we master how to use what we have to gain what we need in a honourable way - without expecting to eat where we are not able or ready to give in equal proportion - our problems as a country will persist.

Hahaha! I'd expected someone like Murdock to make decisions like that based on what the spirit/God told him in prayer rather than what a fellow God of man told him. Or, does it mean that all these God of men do not hear anything concerning themselves from God or that prayer doesn't solve any problem? I wonder how when it comes to their clients nay sheepishs they start claiming that God told them this and that. Religion is a fraud.

All glory to the sole creator of the world.

Simply put, wise people build their business before building their personal empire.

I'd rather say that the reason why most beautiful ladies are single is because of their prejudicial and self-conceited attitudes. When you are beautiful and possesses petty attitudes, you're by commission prolonging your membership in the spinster club.

However, to their credit, some Lily-livered and predacious men do contribute in compounding their woes.

Toks2008:
Do you know that you would have made more sense and sounded mature without the first paragraph?

I can't remember ever claiming to have monopoly of anything so why the unwarranted bitter rant?

Please you are a man so comport yourself as one.

You amuse me. Kindly re-read the first paragrahy of your article and see how self-conceited you appeared.

All the same, no hard feelings. Take care.

@OP


Stop sounding like you're an authority or one who has monopoly of wisdom.

Your postulation is flawed to someone like me, because I believe that love or submission when given (earned or not), should be maintained so as to sustain it.

In my altruistic nature, every living human being is automatically qualified for my love, care, respect etc - free of charge - however, to sustain any of these free goodies from me (especially a wife) she must continually improve (maintain) on all virtues.

In summary, I say altruism plus reciprocation equal to a healthy and happy marriage.

@OP

Beibg a single mother is not a disease - this however doesn't mean that I will encourage an unmarried ladies to intentionally get pregnant and have babies out of wedlock, no.

As far as I'm concerned, attitude is the key. And I don't see how any person be it a male/female who has tested se.x out of wedlock is better than such a lady.

I'd rather choose a single mother who tick at least 60 percent of the boxes in what I need in a wife over a virgin/tested lady that couldn't tick up to 50 percent of the boxes.