₦airaland Forum

[quote author=~Killz~][size=28pt][color=#000030]How long do you wanna remain close friends to a married man? How long? A quick fact is that he is cheating on his wife with you, in the amount of time he spends with you. A married man shouldn't rock your world sis, think about it. What if you were in his wife's shoes and you get to find out that your husband rocks the world of another woman? If you can answer those truthfully, then you know what to do.[/color][/size][/quote]

thought u were going to add something

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In this time and age men like this still have this mentality. What a disappointment.

ideamaster: Lol. Very Funny thread. There are better ways to handle a woman. She wil even forget she learnt karate. Now dat hittin her is out of it,someone suggested u tie her.dat may be d last day u would tie her or any other person.if u too learn karate, then u need to make a ring at d back of ur house wher u would meet to settle ur disputes.dont for forget to include a stand for spectators. Dat way, u could make money while settlin disputes. But I think its best to love ur wife and she would love u back. Even when issues come, you would settle it in a mature way cos u love each other.

Did u say tie ur wife up. I hope u don't believe that. Ur wife is not ur dog or ur Possession.

Neither of em

liyah27: Thank you for that input. Sadly, it is looking like those are our only options, although, we are still trying to find some way to convince them.

Look once the family is against it from the unset, it may be difficult to convince them. My brother also has the same problem and he cries to me every now and then about it and I'd give u the same advice I gave him. If ur guy makes u happy and u make him happy, then pls don't let any idiot (family) get in btw ur happiness. If u guys want 2 be together pls follow ur hearts and if u must, if the family is still against the relationship, then turn ur back on ur guys family. Just be happy with him, life is too short 2 let those kinds of stress mar it. His family may turn around much later, and if they don't then fine.

[quote author=~Killz~][color=#000030]Boy, you are such a sorry fool! You fought a guy over a Babe? Were you married to her? What rights do you have over who she talks to, or not? She did not "really" cheat on you cos you aren't married. You have no control whatsoever over her. . . so? She was exploring her options and if she finds someone that treats her better than you do, why will she not go for it?

And the million dollar question. . . Why tha fcck would you still hang on to her after you noticed the changes? You wanted to get hurt, and guess what? YOU DID![/color][/quote]~Killz~ u really can be an asshole when u want 2 be ma guy, though hard as it may sound, I totally and completely agree with what u said. This thread sounded all too wrong, is all wrong really. No man should be this silly over a woman. If u are, she will use u they way this chick in the thread is using the guy. It pains really cos this guy is being used and he doesn't even see it. Cos if he saw it, he won't be here 2 ask 4 advice. He would have decided a long time ago, and would have moved on. I think by the time this girl is finished with u, she will tear ur heart out, probably boil and then give it 2 u 2 eat. This guy should please know he is not being nice, so he shouldn't use nice as an excuse here, but he is being plain stupid.

twinkles286: @ op i really think there is any harm in visiting him apart from the financial cost. but this visit is likely to put in perspective what u re guys re doing together and where the relationship is headed. i think this is a rare and good opportunity. be open minded and enjoy ur visit. do all ur analysin when u get back to base.

he said it all

marry who makes u happy. If u guys have waited till now then its best u follow ur heart. Ur family would always want 2 control ur life but its ur heart u should be listening 2 and not ur family. Also, best u let them alone or they would destroy ur life.

By coldness do u mean she is very reserved (melancholic). If so then its just her character and u can't change someone's character. U just have 2 understand it and be able 2 lift her out of it whenever she gets in2 one of those her mood. U have 2 really be sure, she is what u want. This is so its won't be a problem 4 u later.
Believe me I know. I married my wifey knowing her 2 be very reserved and melancholic. I still married her cos I wanted and had accepted that part of her character.

[quote author=Busy_body]Pardon

Time i go a-looking for my gentle Jennykadry my pacifier, to calm my frayed nerves with her soothing words and sip some of the chilled rainwater she has been selflessly collecting for Outstrip, before i combust with rage [/quote]really, then u can do exactly what the poster did now and see where it gets u i.e if u are married. No matter how much ur in law irritates u, one should act maturely in handling them.

GboyegaD: [/b]

This is highly unfair. He has the right to allow his family dictate in his family and the wife's family cannot right? Anyways, we are all wired differently and grew up under different circumstance as such, I do not expect us to share same opinion on some things. However, I do not support injustice of any kind on either the man or the woman's family and it is right to draw boundaries clearly so that he who goes outside his /her reach should bear the consequence of such action.

U most definitely misunderstood me. None of the family has or shares any right to dictate in their family and home. That right is left 4 only the couple in question, but would u, cos its ur right 2 dictate, handle the situation like the poster did. Would u urself that is talking, go and confront ur inlaw who came 2 visit u cos he entered ur wife's kitchen 2 take meat from the soup. Think about it ma guy. I know u'd say its a woman's stuff but would u do so. If u think clearly, u'd agree with me that the poster took laws in2 her hand, regardless it was her home, when she could have easily spoken 2 her hubby, so as not 2 lose face in the eyes of her in laws.

[quote author=BABE!]She didn't fight her; according to her post. She only called her to tell her what she did was very idiotic.

Take a look at Sisi_kill's scenario. What sort of uncivilized behavior is that?

The sister in-law didn't necessary have to go her and say "m'aam, I observed that you're done cooking. May I please have a portion of your nicely prepared soup?"

The SIL could have gone to the kitchen while OP was cooking and jovially said "Haaaa.. there's no way I'm not finishing that food. Better start preparing another round for your husband and yourself. It smells so good! Chei My brother is lucky".

I'm sure the SIL just dashed into the kitchen frowning, with an attitude, and mounted a hip of goat meat on her plate. See ehn, the problem here is not the food. It's common courtesy. The relationship you have with a person determines the kind access you'll have to the person's things.

You can't be giving me serious attitude all they long and jump at my food. You no get shame? Which kind shameless behavior be that?

Some people need to be put in there place, and apparently the husband is no where near putting his sister(s) in check. [/quote]Pls take note just so u know how to handle things once u get married. U don't tell ur sister inlaw what she did is idiotic rather u complain 2 ur hubby who should tell her himself. If u tell her directly and she takes u up with her siblings na u lose. Just so u know.

kaboninc: @OP Honestly I think if you follow some of these ideas proffered here, it'll take farther away from your home. Also most of these advisors either are not married or don't have any experience. If in your husband's house the kids are free to eat as they like, then this is your own house. A mum and wife in your own house and they must follow your rules. I don't see why someone will come to one's house just because their husband is their brother and they'll act like its their father's house. Where's the respect? And then your husband supports them? Please seek advice from elders not these people here!

u are most likely unmarried that is why u gave this advice or if u are married then u must be male and forget the situation is different 4 women in our Nigerian society. U never fight ur inlaws at all talk less over an issue so small as food.

reinedamse: In my own opinion,u did not exercise enough patience and tolerance towards ur in-laws.ur hubby was trying to be diplomatic initially.it wasn't dat he couldn't protect u but he obviously didn't want to take sides initially but u weren't patient enough.
Two wrongs can never make a right.communication is the key.try to talk to him like a virtuous woman should.state reasons for Ur actions and let him state his.Let him understand some of the things you would not tolerate from guests(even if it they were ur own siblings).
Apologize and warn him seriously never to lay hands on u else you will get a divorce.this should put him in check next time he thinks of beating u.
Pele OP,it is well with ur marriage.

I agree with u totally. This lady the OP must have been a very stubborn lady as a single girl and does not know that d[b]oes not work in marriage[/b]. OP u made a very grave mistake.
Number 1 rule, ladies pls listen, never directly accuse ur husbands sister(s) of thievery (whether she stole or not). Pls incase u are asking where thievery came in this thread, once u say she went 2 take food without asking u and they would take all the meat. U have accuse her of stealing (that is how husband's sister will see it). Once she reports u 2 all the other sisters, u are in deep soup cos ur husband can't protect u again. U have taken the matter out of his hands. Ur hubby tried 2 be neutral in this issue but u didn't allow him. U felt it was ur house and so u can do and undo right, well u where wrong. There is something they call Umu ada in my place. They are the toughest group of women in the family. Once a wife of the brothers get in2 their matter, they would deal with the wife.
Number 2 rule, ur husband is ur ally. No matter how bad a situation looks ur husband will always be ur ally. Cos its his family and only he can press them 2 allow u or leave u alone or ask them what should be done 2 let bygones be bygones.
Number 3 rule, never bring ur own family in2 the issue. Once u do that, u have just escalated the issue beyond proportion. Ur family is only allowed 2 come in, if and once ur hubby has tried and his family and sisters insist on dealing with u and actually start doing so.

the kind of questions we get here

why would I stoop to buy a BB when there are Iphones and others. I can't even see myself buying an Iphone (the cost is not the problem) when androids still dey market.

I respect the effort it may have taken u 2 write ur post. I respect also the strength u had 2 go on in2 ur relationship. Ur courage and strength give men like me hope and faith that there is still much good in Nigeria men, people just have 2 look 4 it. Its shows ur maturity at heart and I am glad 4 men like u. That said, let me give my opinion.
B4 I write my opinion, I would like to ask if u'v e married the lady in question. If not then it may be wise u do so and as u do then u can legally adopt the child. I think what u told ur woman is correct and no person should be able to fault u there. Its plain that the boy is not biologically urs and so its best u legally adopt him 2 protect urself 4 the future. It would be a crime on u, if u invest in the boy and the family comeback later to take him from u. I don't know how hard it is for ur woman and her son now but it just can't be helped. Adopt the boy legally, is all I have to say.

mogunremi: Its not all flipping WHITE PEOPLE. How about I say the same about all blacks?
No because I know damm well that not all blacks are the same and some have some common sense inside their heads to realise that white people are all different too.
These comments are so irritating to me. Its only since I recently came on this forum I have realised how small minded some of you people are. Its shocking. How ignorant of you to assume all white women are fat and don't respect marriage and all the rest - you need some more learning if you call yourself a Dr. A Dr of what excatly?!!
You seem to think an awful lot of yourself too ! Maybe you only got interest from clinically obese women because you are plain ugly?

Ok, since u decided 2 take this one personal be my guest. From ur post it shows how much of an illiterate u are and am even flabbergasted that I even replied ur silly post. If u read my thread well u silly fat thing, u'd see I said, something that happened where I worked. But then, w hat does one expect from something like u. I call u something cos I refuse to believe a human being would write the thrash u wrote. I neva said white people don't respect marriage cos I have white friends and they most of them where aware of the incident I mentioned in this thread and sympathizer with me about it cos It was traumatic 4 me at that time. But then, what do u know, I believe nothing cos ur post just showed how dull u are. I wonder why I even replied ur silly post. About my being plain and ugly, I'd just laugh at that and call u a fool. Abeg, next.

next topic

this silly people, no be them start am.

kombats: [color=black][size=32]dat gud it high time[/size][/color]

look at this man, how do u mean gud high time. Do u know how much Dangote would make once his company becomes a public liability. A lot of monez would go in2 his pocket and he would be investing 4 his great grand children once he does this. He knows that, that is why wants 2 do it.

Beaf: This is the link to the Linda Ikeji blog post: http://lindaikeji..co.uk/2012/04/transformation-comes-to-benin-lagos.html

Yes, the road has been fixed.
What a generation of "strong leaders" could not achieve has been accomplished.
Fresh Air!!!

the problem is not just fixing it but how long it would remain in good conditions b4 it goes bad again and then the road would plunge back in2 square one. U know in Naija there is no maintenance culture

Johnny: I have at least 4 married women desiring earnestly to have intimate rship with me.The latest is a 27yr old mother of 2 who temporary separated from her husband.within that period,we became frnds on FB,& in a very short time,she fell FLAT in luv with me.....now she‘s reconciled with her husband but says she‘s got no feeling for him any more.i have tried severally to end this rship,but each time we failed...mind u,we havnt met but i can feel her TRUE LUV!The others are based in the north &we spend quality times on the phones every now &then.my greates happiness is that i have not slept with any married woman b4 but the pressure is becoming unbearable...i have recieved the most romantic &sexy msgs from married women...they dnt ask for anytin & i dnt collect anytin from them except that we spend alot on the phone,which they enjoy....pls house,how best do i handle these ladies without breaking their hrts(they alwaz beg me not to break their hrts) &yet be not their luver??Am not playing saint here pls......

ma guy, are u well at all. U are talking about love with married women. What gives u the right 2 communicate intimacies with married women, let the husband catch u. Besides
[size=28pt]Confucius says "u are standing on thin ice. U will definitely fall in once it breaks. Remember the laws of Karma".[/size]

MrPrsdent: Nigerian men in europe are fond of such fat women too

Maybe its love

its not love ma guy, to say the truth its irritating 2 see sometimes. Especially when the said fat white chicks now have it in their head that they are so hot and can get any black guy their want cos black guys are dying 4 them. People, its irritating. I remember an issue like that, when one of my fat white colleague kept telling my other female white colleagues that why I didn't want 2 date anyone where I worked was cos I was in2 fats girls. She even said cos she knows black guys die 4 fat white girls. I almost freaked out when I heard it. Anyway, I taught her a lesson she won't 4get, I also made it plane I didn't want 2 date cos I was already married and respected the sacrament of marriage. These white people

190: And why should we remain friends after a break up

I dont know u

U dont know me - everyone to their own lane

look at this man, what of if her husband is ur current boss. Won't it be better u remain just cordial friends or do u want 2 enter trouble.