teddybarz: I stop. . Look at her hubby. Mehn dis time i was shocked. How on earth dix lady wil stop me again and told me to collect her number. .
i draw back a little meet her and said oya call the number. .. Then her hubby left us and wanted to walk alone till wen her wife finish buyin wat she wanted to buy.
today i decided to give her a call, she was happy and told me when am i visitin her again. . Mehn i dnt knw what lie to tell her. I smiled again. And tell her i wil cum today. . She said ok. If am coming i should flash her. .
mehn am still in my hause. I dnt knw whether to visit her or not. .
pls advice needed. Why wil she tell me to visit her
Unclesmart12: I met this girl few weeks ago online and we kinda vibed instantly, a couple of weeks later she came over to my house for weekend and we had sex the first night. I asked her about her relationship status later and she said she was in a relationship, though she doesn't love the guy.
She showed me proof of countless times she's told the guy the truth but he would always persuade her to stay with him with hope that she would warm up to him. So she stayed since he was paying the bills.
I can't tell her to leave the guy because I am not ready to pay any bills for anybody now. Just like most Nigerian girls she gets lots of calls, but one made me upset this night.
She was on call with a guy for almost an hour, from the tone of the conversation the guy might just be a friend, because the gist was centered around school and other random stuff. I felt she disrespected me by staying so long on a call and I made my feelings known when she was done. She got moody and stopped talking to me afterwards.
She finished cooking and dished mine in a separate plate even though we have been eating together since she came. She placed the food on the bed without notifying me and went on to eat hers alone. I tried to adjust and kicked the plate away breaking it in the process.
I packed the food and threw it into the trash can, she immediately went to the kitchen and dropped hers too. Took her bath and went to bed, though I know she's not sleeping.
She's supposed to go tomorrow morning and I intend deleting her contact after she leaves, however I really like her. I've not met someone I liked in a while. I don't wanna beg her since I didn't do anything wrong. Or was my reaction to the call extreme??
Should just free her or attempt talking to her? How do I approach it without coming off as weak?
Who is talking about begging? Look youngman, NL is not the right place to seek such advice. They will destroy this Ur fledgling relationship here by the time they are done. One person has to be an adult and so far both of you have acted like children. There are ways to talk this out without begging. For example, go and start playing with her and don't stop till the ice is broken. Then table her 4k-up without mincing words or being an asshole about it. Be nice and understanding but tell here where she made her mistake and make sure to make her understand that it shouldn't repeat itself. Be the man here cos women will always be children in this kind of thing. Cheers!
obembet: The former presidential aspirant, Adamu Garba II has react to vice president summit on world economy has disgrace to Nigeria, he share this on his Facebook
Here is what he wrote
VP , Prof Osibanjo, allegedly, the intellectual wing of this government has disgraced Nigerians in his remark on World Economic Forum. Unprepared and unaware of how to present Nigeria’s value to global investors. I’ll explain why, shortly.
Mystiquefia: So I was talking with my mum the other day and she she began to lament abount my aunties predicaments. 3 of them are educated and over 40, yet unmarried The first lives in asaba, she used to be extremely beautiful (and still is for guys who may not be interested in wifing young, energetic beautiful women with fresh blood) and uncouth. She used to attract loads of admirers and guys were trooping in to ask for her hands in marriage when she was in her 20s. She not only turned them down but made mockery of the legit hussling guys at the time, she mocked their financial status and embarrassed those who persisted. Most of the men approaching her at the time are happily married and doing well for themselves now but my aunty is still visiting one prayer house to another seeking the hands of God in her life. I was told she resorted to online dating after men were no longer showing interest as usual and lost huge sums of money in a romance scam.
The latter is the exact opposite of the former in terms of looks and character. This one was and is still very ugly but with good character. She had a suitor who was ready to marry her in her 20s, the man happened to be in his late 50s. She seeked advice from her sisters and friends, they all agreed that this well to do man was too old for their young, albeit ugly sister. They tricked her into believing that she would find young, rich, educated suitors who would seek her hands in marriage in no distant time. They raised the bar so high that aunty suddenly forgot she was a female version of SHREK(ogre), she developed the Prince charming fanstasy and chased this educated, rich old man away. Ever since then, she has been falling for guys who only want to swim, eat her money and run away. She's currently indepted from borrowing a substantial sum of money for a lover to process his visas in a premise that he would marry her and move her abroad once he's slightly settled. This one is frustrated like kilode, I was told she is now dating a soldier and she pays his rents and bills, does domestic chores for him and nigga still cheats under her nose.
The last one had a boyfriend in university days who graduated and got a good job, he proposed to her and she turned him down simply because she wanted to finish her studies first, she is the independent woman wannebe and hoped to be a career woman. Baba jejelly went to marry his first wife and got some children. My aunt graduated, got a job and started doing well but no husband in her 30s. Baba came back and asked her to marry him again but she said she can't be a second wife to dangote let alone her EX. Baba went and married a second wife
So it happened that my aunt clocked 45, and she still hadn't found her dream man and bone of her ribs. Then Baba came back the third time, this time my aunt shamefully agreed to be third wife. Thank heaven's she now has children of her own.
My mum used to tell me that when she got married in her early 20s in the university, her friends and sisters were mocking her that she was going into marriage too early and she should have stayed back to enjoy her life as a spinster. Today shes happily married with grandchildren, while some of those who mocked her then are living miserable as old spinsters, second or third wife's or hooking up small boys young enough to be their kids in town.
So I told my mum squarely that I'm not sympathetic to their travails and that they deserve every bit of it. What are your thoughts about women unmarried in their 30s?
There is nothing to learn from this story. It's just a tired old story of female bashing. A woman doesn't need a man to be happy. Any of these women could have gone and have children by any man and Leiter the man and move on. I repeat, a woman doesn't need a man to make her life complete. That ideology is an old archaic one. Pls there are more important things to think about like Tinubu becoming president
Ishilove: My stowee is: he was hot headed and immature, I was stubborn and immature. We broke up in a flurry of rage and when both our eyes cleared it was too late.
We are still friends though. He is the only one who hails me with a high pitched ''biaaaaatch!!'' and I reply with "your left nyaaaaaash!"
Kai, Freezle my love.
He told me: "Ishi, in my next life I will seek you out, and if we can't be lovers then, I will be your child."
Me too baby, me too...
That is love. Love sometimes goes against compatibility
vasel15: I guess you can't see what is happening all around you, nigeria is dead, 2023 would be the last nail in the coffin of the dead country, how many more years do you need? It is over 60yrs already
vasel15: If this black people from the geographical expression is talking about Tinubu, just know they deserve to suffer, I don't believe in Nigeria anymore, nigeria is gone stop wasting your time
They no longer talk of the inflation and suffering going on in Nigeria, they have diverted your attention
It is Tinubu, shame on you fools
In a sane country the name of Tinubu should not even be on the lips of anyone
you should be charged to court if you mention Tinubu
I have no pity for you people because you are cursed and you deserve to suffer, yes you deserve to suffer and still be a third world poo hole in 2022,tufia
I am a biafran I am not a Nigerian
Hallo, you spoilt an almost good writeup by towing the Biafra line. That was a mistake. It is clear and known that anyone supporting Tinubu for presidency is making the same mistake they made with Bubu. Then again Nigerians have short term memory and only remember when their selfish interests are involved. I mean, choosing Tinubu over Osibanjo is a joke that is not even funny to laugh about. Who has forgotten what Tinubu put Lagos thru? No one. That he is even in consideration is more of a joke than he being elected. They want to cry another 8 years. Then again that's Nigerians for you. They refuse to learn from previous errors.
Realestbae: ode! leave Ur brother's family alone. Mind you is her home nt urs. It nt bad enough that d whole family is leeching on him but U also want to invade her home. African entitlement mentality with their blood is thicker than water but if smtin happens to d brother is d wife that will single handedly take care of d children he will leave behind uncle n aunty go yapa. See Ur mouth like " his own family" my friend his own family is his wife n kids gt that into your head
This Ur comments sounds like it's from experience. I don't necessarily agree with U. Not when madam decides to insult her husband Infront of his younger sibling. It questions who the man in the house is. I can understand madam cracking a dry joke but that comment was an insult that the husband needs to handle. Ofcos his family needs to give them some space and I don't support leeching but here doesn't seem to be the case. Ofcos we don't know the whole story but only what OP posted. Hence speculation mayn't make much sense
Rachel98: Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.
My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??
She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.
I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.
Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"
This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.
His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.
We all know that feeling. The issue is left for Ur brother to settle. It doesn't make anymore sense to say another thing other than that. The only person that can handle her 4kup is her husband and believe me, there are ways for him to do that. I mean her making that statement about his going to marry his househelp is a no go, talkless saying it Infront of his sibling. It's not for his family to handle but him alone.
Realchairmann: This is kinda confusing to me. I've been married to my beloveth wife for 11 years and counting. God has blessed us with three kids of ten, four and a year old. We are having a wonderful Union and time of our lifes.
For sometime now, I've been nurturing the idea of relocating abroad. My wife has BSc and MSc in Microbiology but has been jobless since she concluded her NYSC the year we got married. I'm ready to sponsor her for PHD to any country of her choice to pave way for I and the kids to follow later.
However, she has turned me down whenever I brought up the issue. Her response is always tied around the bond we share and that she can't just leave her kids and travel abroad.
I have a good paying job but I really want her to explore her potentials too. She's a very good wife and an excellent mother but I'm confused why she's skeptical about leaving this Country.
Or am I the one taking too much risk?
Doing a PhD abroad doesn't necessarily means relocation. I just had to put that out there.
funshint: A very simple to do there is to get an inclined plane i.e a large and strong sloppy plank. The animals can easily disembark to the ground without serious shock and fracture to the legs of the animals. Another thing that can be done in the market is to erect a concrete platform where the base of the truck can rest against. The end of that platform will be sloppy; something like an inclined plane. So that animals can easily descend to the floor of the market. From there they can be taken to the designated stalls.
My brother, I tire for the commentary. Just goes to show say na Malam method we been dey watch
nedugroup: Has a US Nigeria lady taken a Nigerian man from African to marry her and live with her in the US. I want to know pls cos I have never heard it.
[quote author= post=109358218]A Video of controversial Nigerian clergywoman, Evangelist Funmi Adebayo aka Mummy Go, stating that using the word 'Hello' is a sin, has gone viral online.
While preaching in her church recently, Mummy GO who runs the Rapture Proclaimer Evangelical Church of God (RAPEC) in Iyana Ipaja area of Lagos, said if you remove the o from Hello, it becomes Hell and so it is a language of sin.
''A bishop from Ghana was arguing with me. He said Evangelist Funmi, we are listening to your message but don't say nonsense. Don't teach us wrong things. I said what is the wrong thing that I taught.
He said 'you said if somebody said Hello, it is demonic. It is not good'. I said yes sair I said so. I never denied it.
By the time you remove o from Hello, what remains? Hell! So I greet you in the morning or you call me and I just mention Hell! It is a language of hell, a slogan of hell.''
Darlingme: Yes of course. No woman call herself that name. It's the people, society (you and i) that calls her that name and it's insultive.
Yes and if she was holding her own, knew her Selfworth and not whoring around. Nobody, even society won't call her baby mama. It's these slay queen's that that terms is used for
Darlingme: I never mentioned men are alpha and Omega in my write up. Girls (female) are to be empowered. No gender need another gender to be happy. But there are consequences when a lady decided to stay on her own and turn herself to a baby mama. This topic is complex but there are many young ladies out there that needs certain orientation and counseling.
Woman who knows her Selfworth won't call herself baby mama. The term is insultive.
GenderMix: Dear Esteemed Nairalanders of extreme wisdom, I have a 4+ year old daughter who is very curious and sleeps on the same bed with me and wife. Some days ago she almost caught me and wife having sex, so in the morning she asked my wife what I was doing to her…lol. Most times I hug and kiss my wife in front of her and do same to her (in her case, a peck and she reciprocates back). This is our normal lives. Sometimes, when I hug my wife before her, she gets jealous..lol
I think we made a mistake in not allowing her get used to her room from day one. We had tried to make her see reasons why she can’t continue to sleep on same bed with us but it’s all falling on deaf ears. At a point, we forced her to her room and when she woke up around 2am, all hell was let loose, I felt sympathy and told my wife to allow her into our room.
We can’t continue this way, so I need your advice (especially married couples with kids)
1. Did we make a mistake by letting her sleep on same bed with us considering she is just 4?
2. Is it too late to force her to her room?
3. How do we go about making sure she gets used to her room without disturbing us?
4. If she asks what we are doing at night, like the case where she almost caught us, what would be a good reply that would sound logical and educative for her own growth.
5. Is her jealousy normal?
Thank you
It's all normal, she is an only child. My son tried to pull his baby sister down the bed when she was born, thank God we saw him on-time. You guys made the initial mistake to let her still stay in Ur bed that long. Now U don't have any choice but to be hard and retain the hard stance. Let it move her to tears and whaling,....keep Ur stance. If she wakes up in the middle of the night and start crying, let her cry it out. If she comes to Ur bedroom console her and send her back. Make her understand that her being is Ur bed is a previlage not her right. She will learn and U guys will have peace to do what adults do
Stargurl20: When will men cease from discussing sex sex sex? Is there nothing else in the union called marriage aside sex? It's honestly so annoying that some people have to even support rape in marriage. I'm not a feminist but It's high men started thinking of more important things in marriage aside sex abeg. Ahan!
It's actually an important and integral part of a union. Thing is all the threads that discuss this topic are from small boys redpillers. By their fruits and mindsets you shall know them.
Darlingme: To be honest with you, in as much as the modern world made us believe that “it’s not a big deal to have a child outside wedlock” “so long as you are financially stable, you can go ahead and have a child for any man of your choice” My dear, I’m aware your life , how you live it, it’s your business, but there are certain things that are not just all about you, so long as you introduced a third party (a child) into your it. Before you decided to become a baby mama for any man out there, there are few things I would love you to understand. 1. YOUR CHOICES BECOME LIMITED 2. YOU MIGHT RAISE A BITTER CHILD 3. LACK OF SELF TRUST/ SELF CONFIDENCE 4. STIGMATIZATION 5. YOU MIGHT END UP BECOMING A DESPERATE PERSON More details in the video below
You can share your view or more opinion to help a future victim.
This is all BS, everything U wrote. Reason being is that U streamlined yourself to our archaic African mentality were the man is the alpha and omega. That scenario is a fallacy cos when you teach our girls and empower them. Let them know they don't need a man to be happy, they will know their Selfworth and no man can take it from them
SURElee: Oga abeg park well make I see road. Was it not the beautiful make up and lashes you fell for, if not why didn't you know she is lazy and not a tidy woman? Didn't you date and court her? What happened to your eyes during courtship that you didn't see the signs you should have seen?
She eats and eats weird food cravings as if you don't know pregnant women have crazy unheard funny food cravings.
Instead of complaining, help her by studying her to know her weaknesses and help with domestic staff. And why is your plate you used to eat still left on the table? Your hand bend after eating? Can't you take your plate to the sink? Taking your plate to the sink after eating, will it reduce your manhood and stop you from being the man, head and daddy yo of the family and marriage?
Abeg swerve. Some things married people come online to complain about could easily be resolved without bringing it to social media.
This comment is directed at the OP not the one I quoted. As regards to the wierd cravings, there is nothing wrong with it. Any married person who has kids may have experienced such at or time or another. So that was just an excuse from the OP. In her last pregnancy, my wife has this craving of eating fried peppered eggs . and peppered meat. Me wetin concern me, I just made sure there was always eggs and meat in the house. What I never did was to get up and go and prepare it in the night, she did that herself. There was 1 time though that she woke me up around 2am and asked me to go and help her do it. The look I gave her that day could have executed a fly. Oh! There was another day like that that everything finished and I didn't realize on time. That day I had to drive out around 3 am to look for meat, returned home around 4 am to put it back in the burner and add pepper. Only for me to go back to the bedroom and she has slept off . That day I never let her forget it. I still use it to needle her till today Invariably what am saying is to weigh and balance things without resorting to violence. My wife knows though were I stand as regards using sex as a weapon.
Willll: So I go dress up for work, eat breakfast on top dining and you expect me to carry the plate with my suite go drop for kitchen when I get woman for house..?
I rather turn Reverend if na so the marriage be
These feminists everywhere. Marriage and feminism na two parallel entities. It can never work
Bro, nothing wrong in carrying Ur plate with Ur suit to kitchen after all U didn't marry to turn Ur wife to a slave. Nothing like feminism there, just simple table etiquette. I mean, would U no expert Ur children to take their plates to the kitchen after eating regardless of if they were wearing their best clothes. Would U expect them to leave it for their mother? Abeg, men get sense and forget certain archaic mentality.
socialmediaman: If OP doesn't see a professional to help them, there's a good chance that he'll do it again and the cycle will repeat itself over and over. There's a sense of accomplishment that comes with doing something heinous like this and getting away with it. Looking at his story, he regrets his action not because of how awfully wrong and distasteful it was, but because she took it too far and it affected his meals and entitlements. In essence, "I'm sorry that I lost our friendship because of what I did, not because I did something wrong that could affect you forever"
No I don't agree with you. It depends on the OP and how far he is ready to make sure what he did doesn't repeat itself. I mean when U have a partner that weaponizes things like this, you can be rest assured things like this may happen. They don't have to repeat themselves ofcos depending on how they both manage the issues.
Picktrust: First of all, why is your wife denying you sex? What are her reasons?
I doubt there is any reason. Sex shouldn't be used as a weapon but women have alway weaponised sex from time immemorial. The issue just degraded to what happened
socialmediaman: So you think it's ok to live with such trauma and function optimally? You don't think that woman may likely lose her sense of worth and develop some negative mental impression about herself, men and life in general? You don't think she could develop depression based on the traumatic experience? You don't think she'll also teach that mental picture to her children? You don't think she could develop some anger that could provoke violent behavior against her husband or children? Look around you. aggressive people everywhere, angry people everywhere. You think it's ok?
No I don't think so. The issue can be managed in their household amongst themselves. The day he takes it to a therapist that don't know shit about them, that is the day their problems begin. He just needs to be perseverant in getting his wife to talk to him about it and settle the issue. Only way to achieve that is to show her how penitent he is. If he needs to grapple on the floor for her to listen to him then so be it. His begging her doesn't remove the fact that is is the man of the house. It's just balancing situations that would get things where they should be
socialmediaman: You have to give her time and support. Taking responsibility means accepting that she needs time to heal from the trauma you caused. You hurt your wife and you want her to bounce back to normal immediately so that you can have a good meal? It sounds selfish and insensitive. It seems spousal rape isn’t captured in Nigeria’s penal code, if that’s the case, I suggest you do your time showing remorse and making reparations
Edit: as Amarisco suggested, You need professional help to manage your anger problems. Your wife also needs therapy to heal from the trauma.
BS. No therapy. How many Nigerian men rape their wives in Nigeria? Am sure we don't know that statistics. Given the circumstances many men would react like he did, that doesn't make the action good. So pls noone should come and say I support it. Give it time. Try to communicate. She needs her space, give it to her. Give her the TLC she needs, U married her so U know her better than anyone. Once she turns around and ready to talk. Then talk
Romance › Re: Married Woman Gave Me Her Number In Front Of Her Young Hubby by drnoel: 11:46am On Jan 24, 2022
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