LINTUNE: depends on your tribe..in my tribe(Igbo) it's not cool..she can support me in the trad marriage or white wedding, not the bride price..
Still, who would know where U put her money? Isn't only U two? Unless she is the type to go around telling people, hence belittling her husband. Pls she should put her money where her mouth is.
Pls we should be clear on this. If madam wants to answer married woman, she should put her money where her mouth is. After all, after the event na she go dey talk am pass. Ofcos only if the husband to be explicitly asks her to hold her money
Romanoff: See ehn, I know one that died with a will. Cause someone of the siblings know that their dad left the house he lived with the wife he lived with before his death, they refused to let the lawyer read the will.
The house is worth half of the man's estate.
Who would write a will and leave it in the house in the reach of his children? It doesn't happen na! It's just like not writing one in the first instance esp if the children are iberibe. The normal thing people do is make several copies and leave the original with the lawyer. Ofcos the lawyer has to be a trusted one. Ur story is questionable.
I know a family whose children have been fighting each other in court for property worth billions for years. The matter never see head.
They have tried to bribe judges in each other's favour, they have arrested each other with police, they have used jazz and all manner of threats.
Only happens if said person died intestate. Any sane person that wants to practice this kind of shit must and should have his will already written. So that if anything happens to the person only the people of his/her choice get the lion share.
Pascopele: Many men (including myself) got married for the wrong reasons. (in my case because she got pregnant and I did not want to have a child out of wedlock) . I have been regretting marrying that woman and taking her abroad for the past 17 years .
IF only I had left her in Nigeria and kept sending money for the kids upkeep or better still bringing only the baby abroad as the embassy staff suggested and even facilitated by them refusing her a visa but granting the new born baby right of passage by including the baby on my passport.
But did I heed this heavenly sent message that she wasn't my wife No, I did not and was blinded by wanting to have an ideal family where man, wife and child all lived in the same country under the same roof everyday and I went back to my station to file her immigration appeal and employed an expensive barrister to fight her case (at great financial cost to me) only for her to change the game after 10 years of my taking her abroad and she wanted to now give me skirt to wear and she will now be wearing the trouser and she conveniently forgot that we both grew up in Naija in an area where the men were always the king and not the queen.
At some point she lost her job and i was about to buy a house and i still included her name on the mortgage as Mr and Mrs without thinking twice about it but when the financial tables turned against me (my job got off shored to India and we had to sell the house to prevent repossession after I realised that i couldn't keep on paying the mortgage with my savings or credit card) , she waited until we BOTH spent all of my generous redundancy pay and once she noticed that I had started dipping into my generous credit card limit and that was going down fast she changed the game and started showing her real colours and showing me shege by openly abusing me and calling me lazy in front of our kids and at one point she asked me LOUDLY in front of our 10 year old son IF I WAS MAD and the boy looked at me, looked back at her and i noticed that his behavior changed that very day.
This is THE SAME WOMAN who before I took her abroad she will cry until her eyes go red anytime I was leaving Nigeria to go back to my base abroad before I brought her over.
So we were now renting (after selling the house to prevent repossession after my job moved to India with 100% redundancies) and the 6 months rent I paid up front for the new house we were now renting had run out and I had just come back from scoping some business in Naija and so was now looking for work afresh while she was working full time and (in my absence) she had gone to the Govt to start claiming single parent benefit (when she was not single as i had only traveled to Naija for 2 months) and her full time salary coupled with the generous single parent benefit was too much money for her to handle that she just went haywire and wanted me out of the house at all cost so that she can now be genuinely a single mother and continue collecting the financial largesse from the govt on top of her full time salary.
She even perfected her plans by telling my 3 year old daughter that I had abandoned her and the Oyinbo childminder I was paying for had to correct my ex by telling her not to ever tell a 3 year old that her father has abandoned her. The old Oyinbo woman knowing me knew that i would never abandon any of my kids but my crafty ex was covering all loop holes in her quest to be seen as legitimately a single mother so that nothing will stand in her way of receiving the govt ordained generous single mother money. (so she thought that by coaching and lying to my 3 year old daughter that i had abandoned her, this would buttress her money grabbing antics from the govt single parent cash handouts.
I became a loser in her eyes and the same woman I gave European citizenship on a platter of Gold will now tell me that I am just using her for shelter (just because she was now paying the rent after the 6 months rent advance i paid had expired) . ?
At some point I resorted to sleeping in my car at times even in winter and one day my then 10 year old son saw me as he was going to school and just shook his head.
When your wife wants to make you fail, they know what to do and which buttons to press and I used to liken it to a man planning how to pick himself up after losing his job and blowing his balloon full of job hunting plans and his wife turns around to puncture his balloon and she ends up deflating his plans with just one act of nastiness for example by calling him lazy or asking him if he is mad right in front of his kids all in a quest for him to move out of the house in annoyance so that she can now be a legitimate single mother in the eyes of the govt who squanders tax payers money on handouts to single mothers who have no need to live with a man who will be a hindrance to the govt cash handouts to single mothers.
Its no wonder that Europe is the single mother capital of the world.
I considered suicide at some point but could not bring myself to the point of offing myself and there was a day I thought of ending it all by running full speed and head butting a moving bus at like 3am in the morning - Insomnia comes with the territory when your wife turns against you just because you are temporarily unemployed.
I should have legged it from that marriage when my then 10 year old son told me one day that - Daddy, it seems as if Mummy wants to finish you . But I stayed in the marriage because I loved being under the same roof with my children (10 and 3 at the time) . Moreover that's what I saw my parents and their friends do.
Today she has monopolized the kids through hardcore brainwashing which she perfected when I went to Nigeria to try my hands at business some years ago.
So, she now has 100% full access to the kids (Young adults - both over 18 now) and you know that western kids have a mind of their own and you can NOT really force them to look for you if they don't FEEL LIKE.
The brain washing she has carried out on my children is as bad as that my Dad died 2 years ago and both of my kids have not called me up till today to commiserate with me even though their mum knows about my Dad's passing and my children live with their mum - whereas when her own dad died a few years earlier, my son shouldered a sizeable part of the burial costs even though he has not been to Nigeria since I brought him and his mum abroad when he was only a few months old.
Thank heavens I eventually gave that woman a lot of distance after finally realizing that if I continued living under the same roof with her, she would either kill me one day or send me to prison or I would kill her and that would be no good for our kids as the western govt care system for kids more often than not messes up the children's heads.
Now my peace of mind is worth more than any marriage.
I still date occasionally but at the first sign that a woman will stress me out or is not a peaceful human being, or is a liar dishonest, unreliable, troublesome, argumentative, unforgiving, vengeful or a flirt, I call off the relationship.
I've been separated from my Ex for more than 10 years now and she is still single (as in not legally married as she would need to get a divorce from me first which i would GLADLY give her anytime she meets someone she wants to marry).
I've been back in the same western country with her now for more than 13 years now and she is still single (we could have mended things 13 years ago but I saw that she was still as cantankerous and as argumentative as ever and i just stayed away from her.)
The longer I stay separated from her and single, the more I'm loving my singleness as no be say i need pikin again and the PEACEFUL companionship that a man needs from a wife is lacking in MOST Naija women especially cantankerous first wives especially the ones in western countries .
When I eventually get tired of being a bachelor then I may try dating again but for now a woman living with me is not my priority UNTIL I find a woman who genuinely loves peace, is not childish or vindictive, not combative or petty and will NOT try to be the man in the house and will not turn my children against me just because she lives in the West where their damaged system allows such arrant nonsense.
Marriage is a case of FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO THREAD
If you know, you know.
Story full of bile from just a single experience. This doesn't prove that marriage is bad. It only proves that 1 experience is not enough to make a decision.
aljpimp: Mechanical engineering is broad.. you can specialize in automobile engineering, aeronautical engineering etc…
Yes, the person I am talking about. They are engineers in their house. Father worked abroad for long on ships. His eldest son prefers motorcycles. He has a shop for motorcycles in Ikeja (don't ask me the name) though heard he isn't based back home. His younger one the one I mentioned has a motor shop too in Nigeria and is based there. Their youngest went into aeronautical engineering. I heard he is going to Holland.
Awkabigboy: I mean the mechanics in Nigeria are mainly the informal ones except the car companies which I'm not writing about here. I mean our everyday mechanics are not mechanical engineers by profession , then why are certified mechanical engineers shying away from this lucrative sector to give the people what they indeed require.
The generalisation is bad. I know a mechanical engineer who owns a workshop. He built a working 7 cylinder motor engine from used parts for his school project. Best graduating student in his class. And he is not cheap. He uses used parts to do wonders.
ngoziwrites: So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.
It's almost 2 months since we have been together.
He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.
I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.
He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.
Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.
Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility" I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.
He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!
So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.
If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.
We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.
About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.
Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-
I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.
We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.
But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.
If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.
Desperation is written all over this write up. It's marriage this marriage that. Marriage is not by force but if it's ur thing be careful who U get into it with. Get to know the man first without giving Ur all and concentrate on 1 person. Ofcos since U are not sure and U feel U can trust him. Sit him down, ask him clearly without fear. Tell him it's not by force, if he ain't feeling it then he can walk away and U go Ur own way. Marriage is not by force
AllahIsSatan: Text of Press Briefing by the Hon Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, on the decision by Britain to put Nigeria on its Red List over Covid-19….in Abuja on Monday, Dec. 6 2021
What is the essence of this man's press conference? Completely clueless Was he not one of the people that told the world Nigeria had Omicron before SA detected it
My observations so far It takes 5 to 8 hours of sunshine to charge the battery from 0 to 100% depending on the sunlight intensity.
And guess what guys. When all the house load are on it, it lasted me up to 8 hours to use up a single charge. But when I put of the fridge, the 45watt fan and when my laptop isn't in use, it takes more than 12 hours and that's exactly what I needed.
Burning 8 to 12 hours on petrol daily will send me back to my village.
lexy2014: i havent made any point. i only asked questions which u couldnt answer: "He spent this money so Why is he complaining? Did he ask Twitter before he took d decision to transport a woman to another country for sex?"
I actually had no intention of answering or not answering Ur questions
Kobojunkiee: He felt he had the money and wanted to spend, so why is he complaining that the woman he spent the money on did not give him sex?
He had an aim. His money didn't fulfill his aim, was within his right to complain. It was still his money not Urs. U are drinking panadol for another man's shit. Mind Ur business
the man is the foolish person here. The man spent money on flight tickets and hotel reservations just to have sex he got played by a smart woman,he should hide his face in shame.
A fool and his money are soon parted
Nothing like that. He felt he had the money and wanted to spend. Who are U to question how he spends his own money? U have too much time. Go and make Ur own money
drizslim: A Twitter user has revealed how a family in Eleme, Rivers state, paid back a man who helped them financially in hopes of marrying their daughter.
The man reportedly built a house for the family of his lover and shouldered their financial responsibilities.
However, when it was time for marriage, the girl decided that she wanted to be a model and eloped to Paris, France, with a white man.
The distraught man allegedly threatened to demolish the house he built for the family, but they pleaded with him and asked him to marry his ex-lover’s younger sister instead.
The Twitter user, @MaverickThamani, who shared the story online wrote,
“A guy in Eleme built a house for his girl’s family. Carried the whole family on his shoulder. Time for marriage, she said she wants to become a model. Left him and followed one white guy to Paris. Baba said he will demolish the house. Family pleaded and gave him her younger sis”.
Have written this before. Marriage is not by force. There is nothing like a better man or a worse man. I mean, if U give Ur word to accomplish something U have to keep to Ur words without regret. After all you gave Ur word with Ur eyes open.
ubunja: So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??
What the fvck is this?
Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage? Again, what the actual fvck??
Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?
And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.
Lol, don't listen to this guys right up. He is only right in one thing and that is never do a lady's job for her. Some ladies may use it against U. But it's always good to know where U stand with her. So asking her to date U is not bad at all. Ofcos U want to be certain she ain't dating anyone else so that's ok. Am sure we all agree she is already dating you from what U wrote but it's never ok to assume anything. So ask her again one more time. If she gives U the same brush off she has been doing then give her some distance. Tell her if U can't be sure what U guys are, then U would rather be alone. U will her her profess whatever she needs to to keep U. That too is doing the lady's job for her but it seems you are that type of a guy and that ain't bad. I on the other hand would move first to see Jericho i.e. if I like her enough for keeps or to wed I haven't met any Nigerian lady so far that won't ask U what U guys after to eachother after u've slept with her.
Moreign001: Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.
I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.
I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.
We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...). We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..
She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.
So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.
Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites. Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".
Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.
This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her. Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys. Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.
Only in Nigeria, esp is the said lady is well sort after. That's where I will see confusion
chynenye: Lol, I really do get what u r saying. I understand ur pay rt now isn't commensurate wit all d med sch stress. Bt u sound lik u guyz r d only ppl affected. Its general u know. I'm a med lab sct nd i must say d pay isn't appetizing. But then we can keep hopin dat things ll get better here rather than joining ur colleagues abroad. Hope u aint thinkin u might hope 4 eva?
This comment from 2009 made my day today some 13 years later. Wonderful!
MISSNORA: Good evening all! Please i need mature replies on this topic. My elder brother is really hurting right now.
The Story. My elder brother got married earlier this year...before the marriage, he was fully aware that his childhood friend[Michael] had dated his wife to be with sexx involved. The wife is the truthful type and lays everything bare. Michael is well aware that his ex [my elder Bros wife] is fully married to his friend[my brother]....My brothers wife and Michael recently reconnected again on social media and has since started up chats that "MAY" lead to them flirting. She shows my brother the chats and gives him every update. My brother is not happy with this development and is yet to communicate this to his wife.
Questions. 1...Should he tell the wife to block of Michael (his wife's ex, whom is coincidentally his childhood till date friend) ?is this a wise move considering the fact that this might make his wife start hiding stuffs ... The wife is cool with maintaining contact with this particular ex[Michael]....thought he tells my brother everything /the chats. 2....Can you allow ur spouse still in contacts with his/her ex? 3....Should my brother just talk to Michael straight up to stop chatting his wife?
No cause for alarm. Draw line on the floor. Madam has to choose where is stands. It's not by force to be married. If she prefers her ex, let her go with him. Know Ur worth without being proud about it
Romance › Re: Ever Since I Updated My Profile Pic I've Not Been Able To Rest by drnoel: 2:56pm On Jan 11, 2022
