₦airaland Forum

Tomek09:
[s][/s]
Playing the tribal card by supporting evil. Because I called your people who are known Igbo haters that means I harbour hate on Yorubas too? I don't have such time because Igbos are the only people that treat everyone equally in Nigeria irrespective of who you are. This is not the first time a Yoruba is expressing unfounded hate and acrimony against Igbos. U mentioned about those that married Igbo ladies? Do you know Igbo men in Ibadan, Akure and Lagos that married Yoruba ladies against all odds? The thing is that you only view issues from a single story line without criss-crossing your perspective. There has never been a time an Igbo spoke ill against Yorubas. Go and verify and come back. I hate hypocrites.

Do we have a psychiatrist in the house? This man needs one. I repeat this year that organisation's plan of brewing hate amongst Yoruba and Igbos - I pray that it fails. United we stand, divided we fall.

I know people of both sexes who intermarried. Your focus is only on those who speak hate and it has twisted your heart. I pray again everyone like you that goes around seeking to stoke this fire of Igbo vs Yoruba instead of focusing on the idiots in both ethnicities that misyarn - I pray that your plans fail. Nigeria is not where it should be but your actions breed hate and further chaos playing into the hands of the evil politrickchans we have in this nation.

At a general level, what OP has done is suggest a financial plan. I have read people say that this means stinginess, it is not SMART, it means he is not a man, that he is a dictator. I disagree. I have my plan and I am sure most sensible men have their spreadsheet for those who are computer literate.

So it is definitely a RED CARD. OP suggested a plan! A budget is financial priority number one in a marriage. That would help you know what you are going to save, what you are going to spend and how you are going to face financial requests.

Once again it is a plan. An adult who is mature would either negotiate or tweak the plan with OP. An immature person would go and tell her friends and call her boyfriend or soon to be husband immature. The girl's response shows her level of maturity and thinking. Also there should be every hope that his and her salary would improve.

OP can invest time to discuss and see what scared her. No couple is perfect or matured.

Free advice: Use this opportunity to see if she is one of those who is uncomfortable discussing finances.

franchasng:
My candid advice to the Op and to all single guys who wish to marry and have a peaceful, loving and healthy marriage is this:



So long as you and your wife live in Nigeria, please remove that mentality of sharing family upkeep with your wife. Just work hard and pray to God to empower you financially enough to cater for your wife and family without relying on your wife's income.


The rate of divorce in western countries is too high compared to that in Nigeria and part of the reason is their practice of gender equality in almost everything.


Follow Bible teachings about marriage and you won't have issues.



From the Bible, read from the book of Genesis during creation of man, God didn't create man and woman the same day.


God first created everything that a man would need to live a worthy life and then He created man and put him in charge of everything he created on earth.


God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.



So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.



Adam was rich and had everything he needed before God made him fall asleep and used his rib to make a woman for him and Adam saw Eve and cherished her because she was so beautiful to his delight.


So the first quality a man notices in a woman is her physical beauty before any other thing.



Follow Bible teachings and not man made civilized laws that failed in western countries.



Gender equality is a scam.


Man and woman can never be equal. Each gender have their God assigned role, play yours with joy and you will enjoy this life.



Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.


My wife works and earns well I guess but I have never needed her to bring a dime and it has never stopped me from expanding and living a happy life.


My wife one day asked me why I don't even bother about her job or career, like what she earns and whether she gets promoted. I told her, my dear, I don't think it's necessary but I know you get plenty money na and it's good for the family, at least I am sure you will invest a lot for your kids.


One thing I know is that, she never tells me about her relative needing any money, I only do Christmas for her dad once a year and on Easter and Father's day. And I am sure she do spend on them from her own income. Aside that, I take care of everything, including her personal shopping. Most times I fuel the car she uses to go to work. I do these things with joy. If she decides to stop working tomorrow, I won't pressure her. But I love the fact that she is working so she can be mentally fit and financially responsible cos I noticed housewives are usually dull and financially irresponsible.


So guys please remove your eyes from your wifes income. If things go bad financially for you which nobody should pray for, believe me, she will come through, forget what you read online, most ladies do help their husband's financially when he is down. Some are even the breadwinners of their family. So it's not as if all Nigerian ladies that got married depend solely on their husband. Some are breadwinners. Some share financial responsibility with their hubby willingly.



Not all our ladies are leeches abeg

Your wife is providing feedback that you don't seem to care about her career or how she is doing at work and you are here advising OP?

I disagree with your general conclusion. A marriage is a union at all levels. OP is most likely a detailed man who plans a lot. My wife initially used to vex but when I demonstrated a few things including what the plan would result in - she began singing a new song.

PS please go talk to your wife about her career. Understand what is happening at her place of work.

There is also nothing wrong with a woman deciding to be an housewife. That is immense sacrifice on the part of a woman. Housewife doesn't mean they don't have hustles. My mum sacrificed her time for us but was a teacher and entrepreneur at the side.

Tomek09:
My anger is seriously burning over this shameless idiot called Biodun Fotoyinbo. This shows how tribalistic an average Yoruba blood is irrespective of position or status in the society. From Oba of Lagos threats to Fashola deportation to miscreants setting Igbo dominated markets on fire in SouthWest to Afonjas on Nairaland and to Abiodun Fotonyinbo. All of you are born and chronic Igbo haters which makes Northerners saints when compared. Well, the hatred is welcome because it doesn't affect or change anything to Igbo progress. Umu ezi.

Go and tell whoever sent you to stoke Yoruba vs Igbo bad blood that they will fail. The highest rate of intertribal marriage in Nigeria is between Yoruba and Igbos. All this hate is in the mind of whoever is paying your lot to generate animosity. In 2022, I pray that organisation is exposed and destroyed.

Biodun talked pure rubbish. Oba talked rubbish. Yet you ignore the likes of Akinleye who married an Igbo wife. Get out of here with your tunnel vision hate. We reject your ilk with hate in their hearts.

Some comments

1. People still attend COZA?
2. Do not use this as an excuse to start bashing Yorubas. Focus on this pastor. He opened his mouth and misyarned badly. We are one in the eyes of GOD. It is clear we are not one in the eyes of this pastor.
3. People still dey attend COZA?

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

She should go get a better job. The man is not there to pay for her wants. If 80k salary is insufficient for her to meet her needs / wants then that is her shelenge.

Politicians are all the same. Anyone who aligns with them is on their own. See this governor announcing when he would announce criminals. If you have criminals in your state deal with them. The announcement we want to see is when they are being arraigned to court.

Just read the thread. This is clearly a religious thread and yet some people will post to make insulting statements. Is this in line with Nairaland regulations?

Flyfly:
Useless bastard and he couldn't prophecy covid 19 coming or his own son's death.

This is classless. Disagreeing with the man is not a problem. Your post however says a lot about you.

NOETHNICITY:
15m Naira, and $27,000

God is good.

Erm so how much is left. What matters is what you keep ...

rentAcock:
Even if Naira drops to N4000/$, I will continue to believe in this country because I can see what's coming. The wise are heavily investing in Nigeria while the weak are looking for how to go abroad. The whole world is tired of China, they are looking for cheap labor, Nigeria is the next China. We have the population, the youth and the literacy level to be the next manufacturing power. Plus, several countries that benefited from slavery (U.S, UK, Spain and Portugal) have proposed ways to pay back Africans for all the abuse, exploitations throughout our history. There is a conscious effort to make Africa the next industrial hub. Those lacking foresight won't see this, they only see the now and not the later. Ignore the noise and look for a small factory you can start; In the next 5yrs all the big multinational companies like Amazon, Walmart and co will be pouring billions into our infrastructure just to enable us to manufacture goods for them. So many people will miss this boat, but you are hearing this now, act on it.

Who and where is investing? I mean proper investment not oil refinery. A number of companies will leave Nigeria in 2022 if the infrastructure doesn't improve. The world is becoming smaller. Businessmen and shareholders will request greater capital efficiency. Nigeria is not a capital efficient country.

Do these people not talk with schools? Some are opening on the 10th!

Were those two beings women? I didn't find them attractive. Looks fake with bleached skin - yuck. What has happened to them?

ayindejimmy:
Tattoo doesn't have anything to do with people joining gangs.

Later, some fools will start comparing the United States with China.

China that doesn't allow freedom of religion, speech, and now opinions

Read up on the Yakuza in Japan and the triads in China. Read up on what tattoo means in those organisation. Their reasons are clear.

victorazy:
My own na spags o!
Yesterday, the thing just dey produce water.
Make I go snapam!


I no understand.

Ermm in future if making stir fry spag, boil the spag in a separate pot and remove / douse in cold water. Do your stir fry. Now add the spag slowly while mixing. You will learn with experience how to ensure it is not soggy spag.

Spaghetti doesn't produce water. It is either you didn't drain well or your sauce was too wet.

This looks like Yama Yama. I need to continue having my kids with me in kitchen when I cook.

Jokerman:
Lol.... Authoritarian government.... .... no wonder America will continue to be number one...

Number one in?

I support them. Their country, their rules.

seguno2:
If after 18 pages of comments you didn’t provide feedback on your teen pregnancy palaver, why should anyone bother with your papa palaver

Na better revelation you do for here o! Imagine - why won't the father give better yab? What else is OP not telling us?

Reminds me of when I stayed with a cousin and I saw his father call him a bastard. I was shocked. I told my parents and requested to never visit that family. I still hang out with the cousins but avoid the father. Any parent that can misyarn against their child like that is immature and irresponsible.

obembet:
Dear Nairalanders, how do you feel When your ex says, you'll never find someone like me, how do you respond?

Amen and I found someone better.

Don't these people understand that this world's business is now internationally competitive? Why would I bring business to Nigeria when I can set up outside Nigeria and have Nigerians import my products? If it isn't NCD deduction, it is PTF deduction, if not that one there is increased VAT and now there is NYSC fund and all this is on top the 'usual' costs. Do we have anyone in this government that has actually run a successful business without government patronage and thus understands the challenges of running a business?

Femi you know you almost lost your job and yet grace didn't grant you common sense. The people you are lying on behalf of don't care about you. Your good name has become rags on their behalf. Don't cry later on in future o! You have been advised.

Kollins11:
The feelings I have for her is pure. She's really different from other girls.

Stories that touch the heart. Where have we heard this before?

Barryseal:
So it is against the military policy to propose to a soldier? What the actual nonsense are you talking about? You have no legs to grand stand on this matter. Even your general is embarrassed enough by this episode that he went out of his way to see to the soldier's release but here you are defending the entire nonsense, even shamelessly attempting to draw parallels with a university policy.

Lol!! Simple!

na2016:
You are saying rubbish and I regret having a conversation with a fool like you.

Well it is clear that you are immature and unable to hold a civilised discussion. Therefore you are either a Nigerian military soldier (doubt you are senior officer class) or simply uncouth. I lose nothing from not conversing with you except a waste of my minutes spent responding to you.

Au revoir and pls feel free to let the door hit you as you exit.

na2016:
I made an assumption based on policy from another sector, you that is doubting my point, what is your statement based on? Nothing!!!

It is based on observations that some people talk crap and make assumptions without proof.

You are still thinking of marrying her? Are you mentally ok?

na2016:
Please stop sounding like someone who has not been to school before. Each organization has its policies. Just as in the Universities, it is prohibited for a lecturer to have a relationship with a female student that he teaches (even if the student is 30 years old). The reason is that he will not be fair to other students in the class. I believe the military has a similar policy too.

Rather than assuming why not find the policy?

Has the military stated the rules that were broken?

She is too stupid to be your girlfriend. Downgrade her to friend with benefits. Never wife her. Never.