₦airaland Forum

sex? how would that help, raymand?

i know that this topic has been posted ten times over, but i searched for one and i could not find any, so i figured that i'd create a new thread on it so that i'll make good use of your responses.
please what are some of the things one should do in order to get over the emotional trauma caused by a failed relationship as fast as possible? i have tried to put the whole episode behind me, but each time i try to observe some quiet time, memories keep flooding my mind and i feel so used and cheated.
please do help a brother here.

i guess that friend of hers must have told your girl things about you that must have put you in an unfavourable light.

please dear friends, i need your pieces of advice on what i should do in this situation.
early this year, my girlfriend of 7 months called off our relationship cos she found out that she was still in love with her ex. and wanted to go back to him (now this is an old gist).
though she annulled the relationship, she would not let me be. she still came around, called on the phone to find out how i was doing, sit beside me at church-you know the kind of stuff that made you feel she wants you back but does not know how to go about it. it even got to a point that we found ourselves kissing and touching just like before. we had to check ourselves, she reminding me that she was someone else's girl.

last easter, she came to my house (to the surprise of my family since they are aware of all that transpired between me and her). she stayed for a long time and we shared some precious moments together. the atmosphere was so romantic that i found myself pleading that we come back together. but she stood her ground saying that she was still in love with the other guy. then why was she hurting me like this? she said she was sorry for the hurt she had put me through and that she wished she had not urged me on.

recently, she had a financial difficulty that needed immediate attention and she called to tell me. i told her that she should give me till that evening that i'd come up with the money. as God would have it a client came with a proposal that yielded some cool money, though i had to stay awake all night to complete the job.

the following evening i made my way to her house with the money in my pocket. the whole family knows me and what is going on between their daughter and i. you can therefore imagine my surprise when she turned down my offering her the money. her reason was that she did not want to make me feel that there was something going on between her and me or in other words that she wanted me back. and that she had made arrangements on how to get the money.

as i made to go, she held me back and pleaded that i stayed a bit.
to cut the long story short, she saw me off to the bus stop amidst thick silence between us. the only thing she uttered was that she knew that i'll never speak to her again as a result of this.

i know she'll call again. now my problem is this: do i accept her as a friend and steel myself to block off any 'romantic' advances from her (i know i'll fall for this cos i love her to bits); or do i just make her an 'enemy' and keep clear off her tracks.

sorry for the lengthy piece.

Jay_Baby:
yes - depends how long the man's prick is during elaborate coitus action.

now that's really gross.

you've got some really serious issues in your hands here. let me do some serious thinking. i'll get back to u, i promise.

so how do we come in here? do you want us to look for her and tell her 'hey girl, stop all these your 'runs' young geez is getting real angry at you', or something?

'olive juice', 'olive ewe' . love has really been given a good whipping.

it was easter 2001. my first kiss was a total disaster. the girl's mouth and breath was stinking like a brewery after she had consumed 6 bottles of small guiness stout. i just could not resist kissing her because her lips were lusciously and sensuosly glossed and i was just dying to kiss them. guess i had to pay the price by inhaling alcohol coated breath.

if i found out that my partner to be is 12 years older than i am, do i go on with the marriage? sure, if the guy and i click so well like 2 peas from the same pod.

on your own

my question is this: why bother to touch a sleeping lion by the tail? why should the girl kiss the guy in the first place? look, maybe i'm being old fashioned or something, but personally, anything that would place me under a suspicious light in a relationship, i try as much as possible to avoid it. see the stress she has put herself in. if only she had tucked her lips away, all these would not have happened.

abeg, make una cool down jare. u guys are just flaying the guy as if you all have armour-plated hearts. yes, given that he has wasted a lot of time on thinking about the girl, but would your tongue lashing help him build the so-called self esteem or manhood?
@topic: tell your friend to pick up and move on with his life. maybe the girl was his first; but then life is like that. one year is more than enough to heal and move on. the girl is not the only one around. let him settle down and look for one sweet one that would calm his troubled emotions.
when things like these happen to guys and ladies, i sometimes wonder why God created love *sigh*

true, both of them possess great qualities, but there must be that cutting edge that one has over the other. look deep down for it. you cannot say that both of them are on eqaul basis. one must have something that tickles you.

Cynthia listened to Miranda in complete silence at the other end of the line. 'you know, Mii, your mum has a point there'. Cynthia put in. 'Guys need to be put in their proper places.'
'But I can tell if a man truely loves me,' Miranda protested weakly into the mouthpiece. To Cynthia's ears, Miranda's tone sounded like a kitten that had been deprived of milk for a long time. She felt sorry for her friend. Something was truely brewing. She had known Miranda as someone who showed a great deal of excitement and anxiety whenever something tickled her fancy. Without any tinge of doubt, Miranda had found someone or was having a strong crush on someone. Then her mind flashed to Dapo, the 'hottest' guy in Cynthia's class.

church wedding, i don't think so. the expenses involved would be too much. even if you save N15,000 monthly and at the end of the year, December for instance, you'll have N135,000. that i'm afraid will not be enough for the wedding because you'll have to make plans for last minute hitches.
but if you opt for court marriage, you might hit the mark, since you'll be budgetting most of your money on the reception which i'm afraid should be planned on a small scale. meaning you'll have to plan for a low-profile wedding involving family members and close friends.
i hope my suggestion makes any impact.

i got the nickname Dvampire when i was in the polytechnic. i had an accident while working with hallogen lamps. during the long painful days of recovery, i could not walk outside during the day because of the sun rays, i could not stand the rays of bright lights. i walked out mostly in the dark. so my friends called me ralph the vampire, but i coined it to Dvampire for effect.

two weeks ago.


when was the last time you really wanted to feel loved but did not get it?

as many of una dey say flirting good, make una remember say na wetin dey sweet na im dey kill persin.

no offence bro, you sure that car is yours or is it just for effect?

@ coco29: maybe. but then, what i really meant was that i love the contents of your topics. it's a no holds barred kind of thing. perhaps i like you too; i don't know, so confused

don't i love coco29? she sure knows how to make me search for her in the romance thread. keep it coming girl.

hey ladies? whatever happened to being rich?

chelsea! chelsea! chelsea! chelsea! chealsea chelsea! chelsea!!!!!!!! ;d

lil red (i kinda like that name) don't kill yourself because he is not lookin in your direction. i once faced a similar situation. the girl just won't see that i liked her. then i found someone else and that was when the scale fell from her eyes and she wanted me back, but then, so my advice is you just be friends with him na dif he shows he does not want to be friends with you, leave him.

as for me, i do not believe in collecting any password. why? you might see things that might trigger your emotions in a rather negative manner and you might begin to see your partner in a different light; especially if the contents of the mail have to do with the past. some things are better left unseen and unearthed.

my dear people, help me with this one please.
late last month, i fell seriously sick. my girlfriend was more than caring during that period. in fact she nursed me to good health. now, this girl of mine had a guy whom she was dating before she met me. in fact, she worshipped this guy. but then, i liked her and was willing to take my chances. i showered her with 'more than enough love than she could handle' to the point that we started considering getting married at the end of the year.

but as our relationship progressed, i noticed that my girl was still attached to the other guy. talk about rekindling a dying fire. my girl started blowing hot and cold. today she will tell me that she has made up her mind to be with me, tomorrow it is the other guy she will choose. the thing got me so emotionally bruised, but i still hung on because i loved her and good things don't come cheap.

it got to a point that my girl told me to my face that if she did not marry the other guy, it would seem she had a divorce. that was a red light for me. i decided to back out of the relationship, though i did not tell her. later that night, she sent me an sms, saying that she cannot do without me and that we should go on. i knew i had to call her for a serious talk.

she cried and lamented that she was at a cross road and that she does not know whom to choose. by now, this guy had started placing tabs on my girl and i. he stalked our every move and told my girl all he had gathered. i felt that my girl needed all the encouragement in this moment of choice. i tried to be as caring as possible.

then i decided to dig up some info about 'my rival' and my discoveries could stun even a stallion. suffice me to say that my girl had been living on illusions and empty promises about the guy she so adored. i felt like telling her this, but i refrained from doing so.

my elder cousin also knew the other guy and tried to talk some sense to my girl. she (my cousin) told her the truth about the other guy and my girl was devastated. my girl even attested to some facts that my cousin revealed to her. there and then, my girl told me that she had made up her mind to be with me. she said she never knew she had been living in dreamsland with the guy all the while.

so, i was just recovering from my illness when my girl told me point blank that she felt we needed space. she said that she was tired of relationships and needed her space. i was shocked. though i tried hard to convince her, her mind was made up. i decided to let her be.

surviving without her seemed so difficult. the days were lonely as i missed her even more. she stopped calling me and visiting. i braced myself for the reality of the fact that we might not date anymore.

then 2 days ago, she started calling me to find out how i was. i felt she wanted us to be together again, but i was mistaken. she told me point blank that she wanted to be left alone. she further said that she wants us to go our separate ways as she could not continue with the relationship any longer. so, i told her that she should have told me that all the while instead of changing her attitude towards me for the worse. i told her if ending the relationship was what she wanted, then fine - there was no us anymore.

friends, did i do the right thing? i blame myself for allowing my cousin tell her all those things about her other guy maybe we would have still been together. or what do you think? responses please.

sorry for the lengthy piece. i hope you could make sense out of it. i had no time to edit it before posting.

i got nothing but a phone call from a girl screaming from the other end of the line that i was not matured enough for marriage

ladies and gentlemen, i need your suggestions on this one. i have been dating this girl for 5 months now. those 5 months have been like a rollercoaster ride between heaven and hell, why?
when i met this girl, she was deeply in love with this nigerian guy abroad. well, things took a normal flow and we became good friends and eventually we started going out. people around us were kind of scared for me since they all knew that her guy abroad was trying to secure a visa for her to come abroad - or so everyone thought.
at first, she told me that she had someone whom she loved. i told her that i had no problems with that. then a few days before christmas, she came and told me that our relationship was over. i felt sad but then i never wanted to pressure her. so i let her go. but then that night she came back apologizing that she still loved me and wanted us to continue. this off and on thing continued on four different occasions. she would come to tell me that she wanted to go back to her guy abroad, only for her to change her mind the following day that she wanted to be with me.
well, the big one now is that she is no longer going abroad anymore. why? she got discover that her guy had pencilled some white girl for marriage and was dumping or had dumped her. i saw her through her moment of grief and emotional torment. we became closer than before that we consumated the relationship with soul-touching love making for the first time since we started dating.
then just last sunday, she called me to her place and told me really harshly that she wanted me to give her some space so that she could figure out what she wanted to do with her life, that she needed no guy in her life for at least 2 months. that after 2 months if she is still interested in me, she would let me know. i was stunned. i tried talking and reasoning it out with her, but she flew into a fit of rage. i had to let her be.
now, i do not do know what to do. she does not pick up my calls, she does not let me visit her, in fact, she practically withdrew from me. even when i call her from a pay phone, as soon as she realizes that i'm the one at the other end of the line, she hangs up.
please tell me what do i do here? do i let her be or do i still hang around the corner hoping she'd realize the hurt she is causing me?

sometimes, i just wish relationships don't exist. one minute it's the sweetest thing, the next, it feels like you are stepping on live coals. as i write this piece, i just had a cold quarrel with my girl and i'm cut between calling her and apologizing or wait for her to call and apologize. the fault was hers but i just want peace to reign. one mind says i'm a sucker if i call her, a pawn. what do i do.
so to the issue, you just have to keep loving. like one said, its like a game of chance. you strike gold when you least expect it.