₦airaland Forum

Yesterday you said:

Millyiyke:
My reltions are not helping matters, they would like to buy you drinks but to empower you is a different thing.

And today you say:

For the hospital bill, i said earlier that they have finished the payment with the help of my wifes uncle who gave 43k and others that contributed.
The payment was done instalmentaly, they sold her refridgerator and television to complete the payment just 3days ago...

So which is it? They helped or didn't?

And since you say it's been totally cleared off before you opened up this thread, why mention it if it's a non-issue?

DLondonboiy:
@efemenaxy...I hope u would help this guy if he proves to be genuine....this ya questions dizi too much..

What do you mean my questions are too much? What do you suggest?

Millyiyke:
For my kids they attend public school, the last one is not yet in school.
My dauther just finished nursery 3 last term so she will be moving to primary 1 this term, then my son will be moving to nursery 2 this term.
For their school fees recipt, normaly here they dont issue recipt all the teacher does is write it down on a piece of paper and put it inside their school bag or pin it on their uniform for us to see.
Thanks and ready for more questions.

If they don't issue receipts, how do they keep track of who's paid and who hasn't?

How do you prove you've paid?

^^ Are you telling us you don't have a clue what sort of medication your mother in law has been on, even though you were quick to describe her as being at the point if death's door since July?

And are you implying you haven't spoken to your wife since July too?

Yes, I get that the bill of over 100K has now been paid off. But since you've been closely involved, you should at least know the basics!

shaybebaby:
True, gender does not determine personalities but I've been told so many times I act like a bloke. But this is based on my observations of how the average girl is.

Lol!

Who doesn't? Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. Why wait around for a bloke to get it done when you've got the resources to get it done better?

My sister, time is money. No dulling.

A lot more closed off on first meetings and possibly subsequent meetings, a sense of conscious or unconscious? sizing up. Whatever it is, I'm too impatient to hang around for. I'm an open book, what you see is what you'll always get.

I find guys less cagey, more direct which resonates better with me.

You've just described a typical, insecure female. Closed up? It's good to have some measure of wariness. But "sizing up"? Nah...

Not worth it.

BCISLTD:
Haba .. how u wan make I define am

Yes.

Ranchhoddas:
Oga kilode. You want to kill him ni?

I'd rather ask him for proof to convincingly back up each and everyone of his claims than jump to conclusions and label him an unrepentant scammer even though the evidence so far is not in his favour.

No one here will open up their purse strings on his say so / sob stories. I haven't asked for much. He should do the needful.

shaybebaby:
Then you are a lucky girl. Things is I have always gotten along better with guys and I suppose some people might consider me a bit strange. I'm not very girly so I don't really fit in with girls generally.

My best male friend, an ex actually but we were friends for two years prior to dating, tried the dating thing which didn't work and now back to being very close, I have known since I was a teen.

Oh, but I do have married male friends amongst my very few chosen friends. Sometimes getting a male's perspective gives you a balanced outlook.

BCISLTD:
I'm guessing you have never met a sexually frustrated guy...lol.. still doesn't justify the slap though

What is a sexually frustrated guy?

Interesting discourse ladies.

As for me I've so few close friends, I can literally count them on the fingers of one palm. But then again, it's all about what we have in common. Some are purely work related from whom I've learnt so much from and are definitely worth their weight in gold when it comes to giving brilliant career advice. Others are working mums with kids the same age as mine, and one or two go wayyyyyyyy back to 20+ years ago where we reminiscence over the past, etc.

One thing about me is when I'm stressed, I do give them an earful and can talk for hours on the phone. They've / we've all been each other's Rock through thick and thin. Quality of friends beats quantity, any day, any time.

Passy089:


Nairalanders...My Uncle had a mild Argument with his new wife and ended up slapping her twice because she denied him sex yet again after severally months of denying him sex most especially on Sundays,He hardly have time or strength to have sex during week days because of the tiresome nature of his work, Most Saturdays if he asks for it, the wife always complains of being tired for sex after Saturday house chores, then on Sunday that both of them are free to have fun, the wife still thinks its inappropriate to have sex before going to church....

Is there anything wrong in having sex with your wife or husband before going to church service

Sex between couples is meant to be consentual and not forced. So, after slapping her twice, did he still go ahead to get it from her?

And why would your uncle discuss his sex life with you? That's so distasteful and disrespectful.

Millyiyke:
@Efemenaxy thanks for concern.
I have three kkids a girl and two boys, my first dauther is 5yrs and 4 months, my first son is 3yrs while the last is 1yr 9 months.
Their school fees is #2350 each we are owing #3100.

Re: your kids school fees, you say you've relocated to the village, so what sort of schools do they attend there? Private? Or Nursery?

And do all three of your kids attend school including your 1yr 9month old?

And is what is owed for all three of them? I'd also like you to post the receipts on here too, pls.

Thanks.

@op.

When are you going to respond to these? Or has the issue of your kids school fees been resolved??

Kindly attach the proof with your response as requested earlier.

Thanks.

Millyiyke:
@Efemenaxy
My wife has been in the hospital with mother since july because she cant walk with her two legs so my wife took her to holy ghost adoration ministry uke o friday but she called me yesterday morning that her mum is urinating blood and deficating blood each time she wants to.
The rev sisters advice her to take her back to hospital but i adviced her to take her to their village so that their people could see her and her condition because my wife can anything again about her sickness.
Up till now i have not heared from her, her line is switch off.
For widow she is teaching in federal girls college but what we did was that we urged her to report the matter to the millitary which she did and the called my dad to confirm it because the full benefit is yet to come we dont know when but hopefuly it will not come through him and i think they have invited him for questioning.
Thank you once again for your concern.

Okay let's take these one at a time, starting with your mother-in-law. I asked you very specific questions to which I'm still expecting answers to, namely:

~ What medication does she need to contain her diabetics?

~ What drugs does she need post having that stroke?

~ I need to know the names of the drugs she's on and the frequency of intake.

~ Are you able to afford her medication? If not, give me a breakdown of what exactly it is you need.

~ You say you had a hospital bill of N100K. I'll need a detailed breakdown of what and what amounted to this.

Five main points covered to which I'll be expecting detailed responses to each and every one of them.

Finally, I'd like you to post the receipts and Doctor's prescriptions on here pls.

Thanks.

Birds of the same feather indeed!

T'is good though to have friends look out for each other, having each other's back but do try to get home early. Your dad's concern isn't misplaced.

Mrsaniekwe:
i am British. we have a court wedding in enugu nigeria in 2010, we have not lived together since 2014. he lives in the Uk and works in the uk, been trying to file for devoicr but cant unless i have a marriage cerfiacte and hes refusing to give me it xx

Ever heard of spell checker?

Cutehector:
just take a good look at urself. With this attitude I don't think anyone will attend your wedding!

What attitude?

dimsonu:
Hehehe, peeps who really care will come to cheer us up & celebrate love with us.

True that.

That's why I don't get why you're sending an open invite to complete strangers on the Internet. A simple announcement on here would have been enough and people would still wish you well irrespective of whether they know you or not. But when you take it a step further by giving out the venue and expecting them to travel from goodness knows how far? Nah. It doesn't add up.

What am I missing?

If ee too much, I scrap item 7 (refreshment) comot for menu. Then explain to them how the caterer got stuck in traffic

I don't see what's funny about it. You can't invite people to your party and not expect them not to want something to eat and drink. Especially during this recession. And your comment on "if it's too much...", you mean you'll expect them to spend money on transportation and leave empty handed? And to think you'll actually lie to them about the caterer stuck in traffic?

Smh

Well, its not about the food and drink...its about the dance and clap. DJ music fit reach, no matter the crowd!

Your friends, families, and neighbours from both sides should be more than enough for this don't you think? What value would strangers add to your D-day?

Again I think there is something you aren't saying here.

so, U coming?

I'm very old school. I don't attend parties without a granny's bag to pack samples of the food, drinks, and cakes for all the kids in my neighbourhood.

Can you guarantee that if I spend money on transportation to your event, I'll get something tangible, in return?

sisisioge:
[b][/b]

No mind me, as I dey find husband and guy declare say him dey find wife. If he no be con man and I know say I no be con woman that for be another fertile potential meeting o. Na for here my bestie find her husband, me sef fit find my Daddy Ejima here .

thorpido:
There was no written contractual agreement here on expenses so legally there's nothing to pay back.
Thruth be told however,why did the family collect all that money from him?

So true. I was going to ask if he was given any receipt for his "expenses"?

Scary stuff though. One might argue he gave all of that out of his own free accord especially as a gun wasn't held to his head.

But then again, there comes the issue of self respect. Call me old fashioned, but if a girl isn't interested in a man, she should have the decency to say "No", firmly to his advances, making it crystal clear there's no future between them and she should reject his "gifts" outright.

Accepting such without any real interest in the man sends off mixed messages which could backfire.

And some men sef equating love = money.

Smh.

sisisioge:


You totally missed out...I practically proposed to him. Let me get u the thread.

I can't copy it o...its closed too so can't go and mention u there. So sorry early comer, u would have to come earlier next time

Lol! Early comer indeed-ie

I dey try. You sef dey toast am? Lol! I truly missed!

@ op, I'm curious.

How do these online invitations work? If say a thousand people respond to this by turning up at your wedding reception after reading your online invite, how will you cater for them all (food and refreshments)?

sisisioge:
Aproko! Happy Sunday! Summary of gist...

One purported potential husband came on board but it turned out that he might not be authentic material for husbandhood

Ah, you know the saying, "A little aproko is good for the soul..."

But on a more serious note: A Nairalander came for you? Be careful sis. Many frauds here claim to be what they fantasise to be, which more often than not, is a far cry from the reality of what they truly are.

Kimoni:
Don't know what you and Dyt are talking about but there's someone I know who fits perfectly into your description above. I sincerely don't know if it's the same guy but I can bet my last cent we're talking about the same person. Every word of description fits perfectly

sisisioge:
maybe we are talking about the same person...we will just let it rest

Gossip mongers.

Now I'm interested. Talk jor.

Happy Sunday, ladies.

Awful write-up.

@op.

How much exactly do you need? Give me a break down of what your expenses are. For example:

~ Your kids: How old are they? How much do their school fees cost per term? How much do you owe the school(s)?

~ Your Business a Plans: What specific soap business do you intend to set up? How do you intend to go about starting up this business of yours? Give me a detailed breakdown of your business plans and cost projections including your projected income and expenses for the medium term. Five years should do it for now.

~ Your Rent: Even though you didn't mention it, I presume this also is an issue? If it is, how much is it and how much do you owe in arreas? What's the tenancy agreement with your landlord?

~ Your Mother In Law: You say she's got a plethora of medical issues including being diagonised with having diabetics and recently suffering from a stroke. What medication does she need to contain her diabetics? What drugs does she need post having that stroke? I need to know the names of the drugs she's on and the frequency of intake. Are you able to afford her medication? If not, give me a breakdown of what exactly it is you need. Have you settled her medical bills with the hospital? If not, how much do you owe the hospital? I'll need a detailed breakdown of these too.

~ a Your Widowed Sister-In-Law: Has she got any kids? If so, how many? What's her financial situation now? And what support (if any) is she receiving from your family?

Finally, is there anything else I've missed? If so state it here with a detailed breakdown of any costs associated with it/them.

I'd like a response to my questions today, preferably before 11:00 a.m. Thanks.

^^ Tut-tut Ishi

I honestly don't get what the issue is.

EngrWanted:
With the torrent of support advices I received in the last thread, I am compelled to put up this one and sincerely need your contributions to take the best decision.
I dated a lady for three years while she was in the medical school in a private University and at the time I was taking care of her tuition and other sundry elements not forgetting we were live in lovers during school recession and when she finally graduated. I've even visited her parents for a light introduction on her insistence cos according to her 2 other gentlemen living in US and UK are equally coming for her hand in marriage.
I discovered that her mother is favourably disposed to the American guy because he's a referral from his younger brother who also live in USA. But the lady in question loves me and didn't want to yield to her parents advice particularly her mother who I believe is doing so for material benefits.
The problem is we fixed a date to carry out a light traditional ceremony where both families were fully present including her kinsmen, call it a mini traditional marriage and when the ceremony was coming to an end, my woman dad stood up and start giving me "conditions" in the presence of everyone. The conditions includes :
1. I'll allow their daughter continue her education in USA which expenses will be sponsored by her uncle staying in Lagos.
2. They'll never attend any marriage ceremony held in any church except Catholic Church
3. I must never lay hand on my wife.
After he made the pronunciation, the most elder man in their family stood up and reprimand him. Caution him and indeed it was really a warning as the old man told him he cannot decide for another man how to run his family.
After the episode I decided to put further marriage arrangements on hold and months past I asked her to look for another man. The fact is I am not comfortable marrying into her family again but this girl has been calling giving unending excuses for her parent.
Should I continue facing front or I should give the marriage a shot?
Thanks

Your lady / fiancée is a medical graduate and it's only normal that she'll want to further her studies in her field, albeit in the U.S.A. Her uncle will be footing the bill so that eases the pressure off you. So what's your problem with that? Pride? Can you afford to shoulder that responsibility 100% or is it that you don't want her to further her studies at all, because what? You're insecure? Is that what the real issue is? If it is, then I'm sorry, you're what we call a dream killer husband.

Re: wedding in the Catholic Church, her parents do have a point. One of the seven sacraments undertaken by Catholics is a promise and comittment to wed in the Catholic Church and bring up their kids as Catholics. Additionally, for a marriage between a catholic and non-catholic to take place in the Catholic Church, you the non-Catholic will be expected to 'convert'. i.e get baptised, receive holy communion, and be confirmed in the Catholic Church.

You may not like this, and you certainly don't have to do any of these, but that's just the way it is. If you love her enough, it's a sacrifice you'll just have to make unless of course she's open to switching over, and from what you've written, that seems unlikely given her family background of staunch Catholics. But either way, it's a good thing you bring this up now and thrash out your differences because this issue will certainly rear it's head again when you start having kids, and decisions will have to be made on where they'll worship. So it's better you have those uncomfortable discussions now, rather than later.

Re: your third point, is that an issue with you?

Really?

Nigerians brought down to their hands and knees with nothing to show for after nearly fifty-six years of "independence".

What a joke.

Shym3xx:
Since you lot are talking about food. I wanna ask you a question (make sure you stick to the topic).

What do you think about young black guys in the UK dying of heart attack before they turned 30?

One of my boys died last year of heart attack and he was super fit. Heck, he played basketball a day before and he was dunking on people like nothing. No signs of health issues. Boom, the next day we heard that he slumped and died in a morning and autopsy showed heart attack.

And today, I received another sad news that one of my boys died in prison of heart break. Before he went to prison early this year for some madness - he used to train super hard and he was super ripped. Coupled with the fact that he boxes and does Muay Thai as well. I don't know what he has been up to since he got locked up...but prison has decent gym facilities and based on who he was, he would be training regularly.

Both weren't even 30 and they were fit, yet they both died of heart attack. And they were both of naij descent. What do you think is going on.

Did they dabble in recreational drugs?

shaybebaby:
It's not hard nah( no pun intended)
You can spot them a mile away without physical inspection, they are always overcompensating with fake machismo.

You're incorrigible

shaybebaby:
I think those of us in interracial relationships should be the ones to judge. Smallest bunana I ever saw was a pic of a nairalander in his undies.. The place was flat with no contour, instead it was a big backside.

Don't start

Ngokafor:
....I honestly do not blame folks who come on-line with different cock and bull story each time they are broke,i blame those who indulge their nonsense by giving them attention.

..There are real-life needy people every where in this country..They are all around us in our offices,churches,our streets,around super-markets,normal markets,recreation centers..name it!...Dont even get me started on the rapidly increasing number of relations getting poorer and in dire need of help in terms of children's school fees,student in need of school fees,food to eat,job s and all...especially if they know you are relatively well-of.

...I know for a fact that most acutely needy people do not have the knowledge,time,money or energy for internet begging..they are too busy pleading with relatives,strangers in churches,streets,offices e.t.c for help.

...Recession is bitting hard at everyone,including those with 'good' jobs..therefore being broke at some point right now is as common as seing sand on our streets..be wise and ignore these professional story-tellers.

Scammers, thieves, opportunists and juvenile deliquents have taken over Nairaland.