₦airaland Forum

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

You haven't got a mind of your own. Marry him.

Your opinion is worthless. Marry him.

You have no personality. Marry him.

You have no dreams or aspirations. Marry him.

You're a weak excuse for a woman. Marry him.

You're a pushover. Marry him.

You have no self respect. Marry him.

You're totally dependent on him financially, morally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Marry him.

Hope this helps.

[quote author=loveslife post=49502643][/quote]To whom?

@op.

So in a nutshell, you need:

~ N200K for your sister's school fees
~ Money for house rent
~ 3 years worth of feeding money

Yes?

Meanwhile your uncle is a big man in an oil company but you aren't a "foot licker". You have no wish to discuss your dad or his whereabouts.

# I hear the iPhone 7 is out and it costs about N300K. True or False? #

loveslife:
Why such a drastic measure and what purpose will that serve @ mindfulness.

What's drastic about it?

Shebi you wanted hardcore advice?

Legend87:
This may sound akward, silly or childish. But, we learn from our experiences.i don't think there's a better section to post/ask this other than here as most of our ordeals are either by family and friends, or by the society.

Please, how can one get bad or extremely wicked? I can say for vengeance purposes.
I don't plan to hurt innocent people, i only seek revenge on those who i'll say have done things that has made me to seek vengeance.

Please, where can one visit to seek such powers? I've heard about the Edo Airways, but i don't want to be a night pilot. I've heard places like Ogun, Osun, Ondo & Ogoni, in Rivers State.

I'm really ready, whatever be the consequence.

You must think this section is full of bad or extremely wicked people. Like you.

@op: How old is this sister of yours?

And why aren't your parents involved in this?

^^ You did? I don't remember oh.

Sure, upload your pic on your profile. Hope up north is treating you well?

Joavid:
so you're done multiple dating in your 20's and early 30's and now, you're waiting for a magical wife material to jam.

Rome was not built in a day. who were does karishikas you were wasting time with eh, that you couldn't jam future wife and keep her??

hehehehehehe....people wey marry by referral still dey divorce.


you neva chin chum chin

your search just begin.

You're harsh.

IamWestAfrican:
What's your point? Cancer and poverty are two different things.

My point is: you created this thread off the back of the cancer related thread. Yes the couple in question have seven kids. And yes the husband sells rat poison for a living. But you've totally missed the focus of that story which is about them not being able to afford the hospital bill for the woman's cancer treatment / mastectomy. That is the essence of that story and not how many kids they've got.

Or did you read somewhere that they were seeking assistance for raising their kids??

bongolistik:
Well even in this modern age of ours, you will see mostly poor people that cannot even fend for themselves well giving birth like dog, 7,8, 9 or even 10 children in some cases.

You will see rich men giving birth to 3 to 4 kids even if they can fend for all very well but poor people never learn, they will always keep on producing babies and next thing they will start looking for who will help them train some.

What is wrong in Just having only 2 babies if you know that your only source of income is selling rat poison?

Is this not a purely self inflicted injury? Do you pity some of them in their self inflicted predicament maybe when infant hospital bills come up or children school fees and they are unable to pay ?

I believe you're referring to this story: https://www.nairaland.com/3355891/man-abandoned-wife-hospital-over#49458979

Is cancer self-inflicted??

lofty900:
how are you doing? I've missed you a lot

I'm good, thanks. Been busy of late. Just relaxing before the start of another hectic working week.

You nko? Long time bros.

Onegai:
Begging is easy money. He would have to work over 4 hours under the sun to get N5000, or he can buy N500 Recharge card and get Data to browse and put up a sobstory and 2 Nairalanders will give him N3000 each, N6000 after 2 days without lifting a finger is better than N10,000 after 2 days of hard work under the sun in their minds. So he earns more for much less work. That's why they all do it. Because it is easy money. In their minds, people giving are the mugus, because they sat in traffic and worked in their office or sold in their shops and sweated for their money and gave him some so easily and all he had to to was stroll out and get a Recharge card and sit down comfortably as they sweated and dashed him free money. All of them, think like this. It requires a strong lack of shame, brazeness and a willingness to accept a profit no matter what circumstances and an unwillingness to exert themselves.

Oh wow!

Just wow!!

lofty900:
I love ur signature. Efemenaxy where r u? Coman help

Come 'n help how?

Abeg no dey mix my mentions with scammers.

Mindfulness:
I was thinking the same. Before a woman gives you that money without the guarantee that the the blackmail will stop afterwards, what if she pays some desperate junkies, who are willing to do anything for a fix, to kill you. It would be cheaper and more effective.

I remember the story of a woman who owns a multinational company and who was blackmailed by a lover with a video of them having se.x (he recorded them secretly). She turned the tables and dragged his sorry azz to court. Blackmail is punishmable by law and a crime. She wasn't married though.

Happy Sunday my dear.

Happy Sunday to you too darling.

The "courts" don't work there and certainly not for cases like this in a patriarchal society as Nigeria.

Swift jungle justice for the blackmailer is the best course of action.

BarryX:
The same reason respecting the family decision (choices) in this instance holds water. Don't you think?

No.

@op.

If your intentions where innocent, why then did you feel embarrassed, glancing furtively around you to see if anyone had noticed or not? Why would it matter if there was nothing to it / no hidden intention?

Why so much shame and guilt to the point you had to reminisce on what happened? You know deep down in you, something stirred when her lips touched yours.

Your mind isn't clean and that girl child isn't safe alone with you. Now let's read the views of other mothers in the house with young female children.

Cc: Sambarry, Cococandy, Onegai, KanwuliaExtra.

canadianboy:
With over 7 years of marriage, I had been searchingly for employment. Luckily, an opportunity came and a foremost financial institution gave me a job but had to post me far to a CORE NORTH city where the level of security is of concern. But being a family man in desperate need of a means of livelihood, I had to accept the offer believing sooner than expected, a new job down south would surface or better still, a redeployment would be possible down south.
Friends, I am close to 4years now in that region without any hope of being reunited with my emotionally tortured family members who miss me every minute of the day. I visit them like 4 times a year.
Now I am depressed now and can't continue this lifestyle as it has had adverse effect on my wife and my grown up kids who complain all time.
But I can't leave the job without another and I am missing my family, what do I do?

Long distances put a strain on any couple's relationship. If where you work is a red hot zone, how about having your family relocate to an hour away from you? Would that be any better?

Otherwise you'll have to consider increasing the number of your visits back home to at least once a month. So rather than take your annual leave in big chunks, take shorter and more frequent visits home to your family - in such a way you get to spend long weekends with them (Thursdays - Sunday's), monthly.

tracyfemmmm:
Its BD:SM stuff. Some people like to be dominated

True.

@op: why was the little girl in your flat in the first place when the friend she was searching for obviously wasn't at your place?

And to think you let her eat at your place without her family knowing where she was or with what was going on there?

I'm sorry but your narration of what happened in your place between you and that child makes for a very uncomfortable read.

BarryX:
I will have to disagree with you on this though. A family that can call a disowning press conference is not a poor family and besides what can be more ashi than lesbianism.

You've always been a pro-african from your comments here with respect for African core values. Why the sudden twist in this homosexuality case?

And besides, the girl can also collude with the family to release the press statement to fastrack asylum papers. Nothing when Naija no fit do

I don't have, never have had, and never will, have an issue with homosexuals.

People should be respected and not discriminated against for their lifestyle choices as long as they aren't harming or infringing upon the rights of anyone else. We all can't be the same.

SAMBARRY:
efemena xyz

Come and put mouth

How I go put mouth if I no see my mentions? Abeg make you dey try spell my name well jor.

But yeah I agree with you to a point.

@op: your mum and dad shouldn't shirk from their parenting duties no mater how "busy" they are. They, and not your 16 year old brother (who incidentally is still a child), should take responsibility for guiding and directing you and your siblings.

I'm curious, what exactly did you mum say in response to your younger brother's issue with your sister??

Strange story.

ifyalways:
For real ?

Im not surprised it worked with a male child, its in them

Haha! It worked o! My sister

You should have seen him sniffing his way up, turning his head from left to right, but still moving in the right direction. Very determined. Hubby was like, "stop punishing my baby.."

Yeah, I agree with you. It must be a male thing, lol!

Mindfulness:
So she cheats and leaves traces behind? She lets some stranger have such pics of her? And she is married?

Never mind that.

The guy (ugly thing by the way) is a fool and not surprising many of his kind die "mysteriously".

Mtcheeew.

I'd read about no.4 some years back and actually tried it out myself shortly after giving birth to one of my sons, and yes, he made (crawled) his way up from tummy to bòòbs.

Giddyperson:
Naija where men are treated as human beings And women are treated like animals. Nigeria is still developing sha, soon we would have strong laws to protect the woman just like in the US, and there shall be nowhere left for a wicked man to run to except hell where they belong.

In those days y'all would think twice before cheating or hitting your wives or all the other stupid things you do that lead to divorce.

Well said.

The issue isn't about the number of kids they have, though that doesn't help their predicament. Even if they had just one kid, I doubt they'd still be able to foot that bill - not with their meagre earnings.

I do sympathise with the woman. While having so many kids is self-inflicted, cancer isn't. I hope they get the help they seek. It is well.

Horrible family.

But if she was doing ashi work dem no go remember to "disown" am. Useless hypocrites.

Now I fully understand KanwuliaExtra's comment about the potency of a jobless, black man's akamu.

SAMBARRY:
hiann .it had better be nollywood home video the thing happened or the imaginations of the writer


I Don just want to think it

Not Nollywood. For real.

Lady come over to another thread and show us how person fit survive on N25K monthly salary.

byvan03:
OK, uncompleted buildings charge 1500- 2500 per room monthly. So they can plan the rest around meal, keep 5000 for emergencies. Wify can support, because in this case their is no chilling by the sideline for the woman even if her hands are falling off. Nawaooh!! Doing the maths wan knock my brain sef.


Yes, legedeze Benz on point.

No abeg let's do the maths together.

Okay, so N7,500 for rent and emergencies, remaining N17,500. Oya explain the feeding bit. How much is a small basket of garri, rice, and beans?

You know how those market women arrange tomatoes and pepper for table. How much for a small pile of those? i.e tomatoes & pepper? And one small bottle of groundnut oil? Or is palm oil cheaper? 1 onion nko? Sambarry I know you sabi price for market. Come 'n help us out here.

Kia! This reminds me of my student days back in Uni.

byvan03:
Out of 100 online jobs, 99 are fake. Taking your CV to the firm or institutions in person works better.

True

I get you on this one.