₦airaland Forum

byvan03:
If you have something in hand for now, please forget this job because it won't even give you the time to seek for other opportunities.

She can. Online.

byvan03:
eventually some get lucky and job changes, I have seen that happen severally. The thing is that someone that lives on 25k monthly will some how learn how to be meticulous with its management. It's still very terrible for a family man though, especially with kids. Sometimes you wake up to unplanned bills due to health brouhaha, it certainly won't be easy for a family man. Not when to obtain just a hospital card costs as much as 10k.

It's the money management part I'm keen to understand. Obviously transportation will be either leggedeze benze (trekking) or riding a bicycle to work. But feeding? How can N25K be stretched a month without resorting to crime / stealing?

Wetin dem go buy for market? Obviously one pot of stew with periwinkles must be made to stretch for two weeks. 1 small basket of garri, rice, and beans nko?

Rent?

ujuvals:
That is the pay for permanent staff.I was told no extras ie no allowance of any kind,that's what they can offer.I just had to ponder about the work timing,even if you can't offer so much why set such a crazy work timing that would keep the person exhausted.if I were to spend the whole day in the office,six days a week what will my feeding expenses amount to?I mean what budget can I comeup with this amount.I want to work,I have a lot to offer them but honestly I can't be motivated on an empty stomach.God bless us all,its well.

So did you accept the offer or were you able to negotiate for a better deal?

You know, even over here, the problem with us ladies when taking a job is that we're poor negotiators. Men on the other hand are much bolder, brazen even, and will negotiate till the cows come home - even if their knowledge of the job is half of ours. I speak from experience

byvan03:
I have never fallen asleep before. Sleep doesn't come, by the time am discharged, am super giddy in the head. I just stare and not touch them till they cry, sort of analysing the newborn from head to toe. I don't even know when my own bonding starts, all I know is that nobody should take my pikin mistake or not please .


I thought of it and realised that once I take the child home, I don't want to hear the story of switched babies whether the one am having is mine or not .

Lol!

A mother's bond, eh?

byvan03:
Of course the crazy hours here is not very typical of other firms or institutions , many are free from 4:30 to do other things by the side. Is there still a place where cost of living is cheap in Nigeria?

People also sneak around work to sort personal runs.

Hmmm...okay, unless that.

A man on this sort of yeye pay shouldn't even consider marriage. At all. What kind of life is that?

byvan03:
The lucky ones live in their family homes, some hold up in uncompleted or face me I face you buildings. Those that have access to land do a lot of farming and supplement with all sorts of runs by the side. It's a hustle and somehow they get by.

But that's the point Byv. Where will the energy come from to do anything else with those crazy hours? And I'm sure if you factor in the time they leave home to start at 7:00 a.m to when they get back home after closing at 8:00 p.m, they'll be dog tired.

Abeg this won't work in Lagos. @op was probably referring to a Zenith bank in one small quiet town like that were the cost of living is relatively cheap compared to Lagos.

byvan03:
Actually many married men are receiving that, their wives support with all they can. Some go for average earners when they intend to marry to ease their burden.

What kind of budget person go draw up for this one na? Seriously.

byvan03:
That pay she mentioned or less is real, you have been gone for so long .

Abegie.

Okay, I believe you. So the question is, how does one survive on this na? This kind pay na me and me only kind of salary for women only, or people still living with their parents.

Definitely not for a married family man with dependents. Onegai, your input pls...

byvan03:
before you wake.

Yes na.

After all that pushing I fell asleep right away. Even snore join am (so I was told).

Thing is, I bonded with all of my babies immediately I held them.

cococandy:
don't you mean under 2 weeks

Two weeks is too late sef. Maybe 2 days sef? In fact, that mistake should be corrected on the day abeg, before I awake.

^^ Meaning you're expected to have been working from age 16?

Back to @op's post, is that pay rate for permanent staff or contractors? It's so ridiculous I'm wondering if that even covers transportation - unless of course, he/she lives walking distance from work.

But I still think if N25K is all on offer with nothing else, then that's pretty mean. Wicked more like as the hours are ridiculously long with no scope for taking on a second job to supplement their income. Monday to Saturdays from 7:00 a.m to 8:00 p.m?

sisisioge:
Babe, I think I should take you out for a drink. My note is almost as lengthy as yours...may God gift us good jobs o.

Abeg explain Sisioge. I know it sounds horrible but surely that's better than nothing at all?

N25K?

Is this on a weekly basis or monthly? If it's the latter then that's really low. Or are there any perks to go with it? i.e. Transportation, medical allowance, etc?

byvan03:
It's really a terrible situation, better fitted for a story book. I prefer never to find out , you are very right about extending from glimpse to take over .

My point exactly.

cococandy:
This my baby now. That I've bonded so much with and ready to lay down my life for . I don't know if I'd be willing to rock this boat by finding my birth child. But the curiosity to know what my real child looks like will probably kill me first. I just hope never to be in that sort of predicament.
.

So true.

But they say the younger the child, the easier it is to unswitch - preferably under the age of two.

byvan03:
You just can't switch off, I will continue to be all I have always been. Just will love to catch a glimpse of my real child, I might still decide not to disrupt the family .

Lol! You know it won't just end at your catching a glimpse of the child. You'll definitely want more and eventually begin to find fault with how the other parents are raising him/her

Onegai:
8 limbs is easy, try dressing someone who runs across the bed screaming in laughter, waiting for you to come get her so she can run across again, shrieking. If you waste time in getting her, she will pee on your pillow. Because it's soft.

@EfemenaXY, Olohun I want to have twins so she can stop being centre of attention. Which is like using a gun to cure a headache...

To avoid them painting on the wall, give them a designated painting area. Once I got mine, I left all walls in peace. Today I mixed edible finger paint, put her in the bathroom with nothing on and let her unleash her inner Picasso. Afterwards, cleaning up was as easy as opening the shower. Though I snapped lots of pics and oohed and aahhhed so she knew I appreciated her talents.

Lol@ peeing on your pillows

Running after a little somebody to get dressed when you're running late for work in the morning is just arrrghhh...

Re: scribbling on the walls is inevitable. I just accepted it was a phase they all go through. However she's older and understands it's naughty. Very naughty.

Whole home's been repainted though. You know, pre marriage, I always fancied a sparkling white home. Snowy white thick luscious carpet (as if), white curtains, white leather sofas, etc. Now I get why my parents went for coffee brown furniture.

I may still get my desire though, when they've all flown the nest. Or maybe I should just assign one room to myself and lock the entire family out of it...

byvan03:
Yes, I think your version will pose a better debate . I will look for my child, it's difficult not to.

True.

But what about the one you've raised, loved, cared for, nursed when ill, etc. Would you suddenly "switch off" that child?

Cc: mindfulness, Onegai, Cococandy, Ifyalways, Sambarry

Lovely setting.

So natural and in tune with nature, not to mention the pure, clean air.

byvan03:
I won't bother looking for anybody, my life continues as it is.

Exactly. Best to just get on with it especially if the current parents and family life is good. Why rock the boat? Or trade certainty for uncertainty?

@op: I'll do nothing. I think the main issue will be for the parent. i.e. what if the parents discover years later that the child they raised / currently raising isn't actually theirs because their kid was mistakenly switched at birth?

Now that's a tough one and doesn't bear thinking of.

Lol @ hiding in the toilet, dressing up drama, and painted walls. I sooooooo relate to those.

Cc: Onegai

Acidosis:
Some people will just sit behind their laptops and start believing bull craps. While this is not a crime, pleaseee don't expect everyone to always fall for bull crap fictions and (maybe true) ones.

Uniabuja student indeed:

You're an orphan,
You haven't paid your fees, you haven't even feed, and all you care about is 3k for your mom's burial?

How will you return back to uniabuja with just 3k?

Very funny. Of course, you know no one will scrutinize you over 3k. You wouldn't dare mention school fees so you opted for 3k (which would get you about 300k via crowd sourcing).


I will never believe any bull crap emotional story on Nairaland until proven to be true. Truth is, if OP had asked for N3k without referring to her late mother, I would have commended his braveness.

Meanwhile, people should stop forcing their bull crap e-emotional weakness for fraud on us all. Yes I will give you 3k to recharge your phone, data for application, but pleaseeeeee, allow your late mother rest. You don't need to insult her grave (if true) to get help. In fact, you don't need to blackmail anyone here with your late mom's burial.

It is always one late relative somewhere, or one incurable disease, one strange pregnancy like Mary's; just one bull crap sob story that will grab, seize and shut the critical reasoning of many.

If we all walk away as suggested by some, many of us will not be on Nairaland today. The joint efforts of members have greatly reduced criminal activities, and it must be commended.

My comments are harsh, yes I like it that way as far as it will drive away criminals from my domain.

If perhaps, your story turns out to be true, my words remain regardless. No regrets, and no one should bother on my mention, I will use the same words on the next sob story until people learn to address their needs in the right manner.

SAMBARRY:
haaa you will quench o

You think say Na just office gum we go use to stick the glittering stones on the gele?

You need a lot of artistic skill to bring out something very professional

If you buy the one of 900 I can guarantee you that during the tying, everything will just be piecesing one by one. Once wind blow am everything go just dey comot

These killing and quenching stones sef...on top gele matta.

Kachisbarbie:
Haba. You can kill o...
2500 for a packet of glittering stones? Naso them dey sell am for Lagos? It's N900 here in Aba na
Anyway, thanks for teaching me, DIY has taken over .

babythug:
Love can be a bit tricky; in that the heart doesn't really choose* whom to love, you just find that you are in love with a particular person i.e despite your deep desires of being with someone from your ethnic group you may end up in love with someone from another!!!!

That said it is easier to be in love and end up with someone from the same ethnic group. Differences and issues may* be easier to manage seeing that the couple may/should have the same orientation as regards general issues. But then again as long as one isn't from the same family there will always be differences as per outlook to life and opinions and general relations so i guess it's more important to focus on the individual and character beyond ethnicity.

My two cents!

This seems an interesting topic, lemme invite some people to the discourse.

I think it really depends on the personality of the person one intends to marry and the family.

There are marriages from hell where both the husband and wife come from the same village / street, and there are enviable marriages made in heaven where the couple come from completely different backgrounds / countries / continents.

Cc: Mindfulness, Ngokafor, Damiso

SAMBARRY:
whatever rocks your boat my dear

Continue with My gele jare

Omo dada

Lol! Where've you been madam? Was about to send out a search party for you

Sambarry abeg ask the girl fixing your gele say make she try comb her hair small...

anigold:
am letting you know that most marriages are based on materialism.. every married couple will claim that their marriage is based on love,understanding and trust but the honest truth is always the opposite..

Really?

byvan03:
Where una dey?

Hovering around like monitoring spirits.

She shouldn't have married him in the first place. One would be hard pressed to find a man that young who'll agree to such terms without an underlying motive.

Sounds like he married her for papers hence him "agreeing" not to have kids. Well, since the agreement on which their union was established is about to be broken, they'd best part ways.

I get that she probably just wants a companion and not kids (perfectly understandable as lots of couples don't want children), so next time when contemplating marriage, she should go for a divorcee or widower whose already had kids - preferably grown up ones - and don't want anymore.

@OP: Maybe if you spend less time Nairalanding and creating ninety-two topics most of which are to complain about you husband, his family, your marriage, etc...and focus on getting a real job, then perhaps more than half of your fantasy problems will be solved.

byvan03:
Hello ladies! It's been cold in here.

Lol! Has it?

Seahawk:
I don't even know how it makes sense to anyone that it's okay for men to have sex but not okay for women. Like the men have other socially acceptable options than to do it with women.

Don't bother trying to figure out senseless posts. Senseless posts deserve senseless responses. Garbage In, Garbage Out (GIGO).

whogoesthere:
The issue of virginity till marriage is one that I've usually wondered about. I've noticed that nowadays it's very difficult for a lady to keep herself till she gets married as compared to back in the days.

I also noticed that some of these ladies are actually good, wife material but for one reason or the other they lost their virginity.

Is it that the modern society puts so much pressure on the girl child or what?? I don't just get it.

Perhaps if men like you were castrated, then society would be overflowing with virgins.

Or don't you know lots of virginal, untested men = lots of virginal, chaste females??