₦airaland Forum

5minsmadness:
Jfl

Currently on a diet as we speak.
She's a nice girl really but her attitude yesterday was uncalled for. Should I be afraid of saying what I feel? She should look for the fat loving men.

Don't be like that. Too brusque.

Rather, get her to check her BMI (Body Mass Index). If she's overweight / obese, understanding the health implications should encourage her to sit up and so something about it.

Dieting alone won't cut it. She needs to throw in some exercises too, to get the full benefit.

What's JFL?

Jamesdman:
Hi... have you tried sprinting, say for just 100meters?
I find it more effective than just running (jogging) for a long period of time.
The body tend to use up more energy and burn more calories when there's a sudden burst of speed (as in sprinting) than it does when one runs at a steady pace for a long period of time (as in jogging).
Maybe you could give it a trial, challenge someone to a race, try to out-compete that person on the track, reaching the 100meter mark first, repeat the race one or two more times. The aftereffect is usually incredible!

Yep, I do it all the time while jogging.

Usually after I've been going for 15-20 mins, then I do a burst of sprinting for say 3-4 minutes. Sometimes just before crossing at the traffic lights, or whilst climbing up the hill at the park...or, if someone dodgy's too close behind me for comfort.

So yes, mixing it with short bursts of sprinting is exhilarating.

5minsmadness:
Jfl
I repeat the lady is stubborn. Also its not so much her being obese as her not wanting to do anything about it. I have no issues with her weight now but what about when she starts having kids? Also the way she flaunts the eating stuff like no one has a right to tell her what and what not to eat. And she argues like crazy.

Our marriage class teacher told us o sort stuff out if we see anything we don't lime about our partners and are keeping mom about. I've not been to comfortable with her weight for a while but i didn't think it was bad enough to dump her. My issue is she doesnt think it's a big deal and I do. She's not fat per se but definitely curvy. Her people are on the plump side too and I don't want her reaching that level. I gently brought up the issue and she started yelling. I say one thing she says two, arguing that guys like fat ladies too.

No qualms she should go and meet them.

Am I bad for looking out for what I want in a woman?

No.

She has the choice to either go or stay.

As an offside, I hope you too will keep fit and trim in equal measure? It's not a one-sided thing, you know.

Chillis:
Nigerian men always giving assignments

List of things to do.

When the women does all these, what value will you be bringing in.
twah

Na the very single and desperately searching dudes dey give martial advice pass marriage councellors. Or haven't you noticed the trend on here?

edwife:
I don't know what to make of this write up.....

As far as i can remember,the internet was introduced in Nigeria in 1996 and even at that in 2008 just 15.9% had access to the internet.

How would have your mum do her shopping online and grind her tomatoes when all these electronics gadgets were still a luxury to most.
The internet still remains a phenomenon in the country and rural areas still shout out from this illumination,we are yet to have a stable electricity system in the country and you are here talking about online shopping?

Yes we are 21 century women good for us but that wasn't the case for some of our mothers. Anything to make our mothers look like slaves.....

Electric blenders have been available in Naija way before the 80's. And even then, not having a blender did not necessarily mean you had to bend on all fours and grind your life away on a grinding stone. For an extra 5naira or so, you could blend your tomatoes, pepper, onions, Egusi, Crayfish, Ogbolo, etc at the market.

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc
Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.
The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.
This one can't be done online oh.
Make evribody dey him lane...

How you sef, take know?

nawaoooo:
I resumed shift this morning and one of our colleagues who's supposed to be on duty called in sick...few mins ago, another colleague very close to her hinted that she's been hospitalized cos the her fiance left her (wedding has been slated for december) she gave us further gist that the bobo left cos the wife to be eats a lot and seems to have uncontrollable appetite.

I immediately said its not possible cos the man is well to do, works with Diamond bank and certainly well paid, the babe is okay too financially, though I agree she eats a lot and most of her spending is on food item. so I see it as using that as a flimsy excuse but argument broke out when my colleagues raised their voices that its possible that some men seriously dislike women who eats a lot.
N.B our colleague isn't fat, just plumpy and very beautiful.

So am throwing it to the house, how possible is this.
So that bachelor like me will learn before signing the contract...
Moreso, the guy is close to my elder bro, thinking of talking to him to save the relationship.

He had a very valid reason for dumping her.

The reason why so many relationships get into trouble after tying the knot is because spouses compromise on their expectations. If there is something you don't like about your partner, the best time to shout it out from the rooftops is while dating. Not after marriage. If you can't tolerate something during the dating period, you most definitely won't be able to stand it post-marriage as it'll only get worse.

He said he didn't like her stuffing her face. She had two choices. To either ignore him and carry on, or to make changes. She chose the former. So she should stop crying, shape up, and move on.

A broken relationship is a hundred times better than a broken marriage. It's a no-brainer.

Now's the time for her to address her food addiction.

Nor be to just born pikin.

I hope they have the funds to ADEQUATELY cater for those innocent souls they've brought into the world.

queen47:
Ah, tell me about this weather today. I dont rain rainy days.

I also cancelled my gym plan because of the weather. Will go in the morning hopefully.

I actually plan to be doing 30-40mins run plus level 1 and 2 JM 30days shred say 5days a week. I wish i can really keep to it. The spirit is indeed willing but the flesh eh...God help us

Wetin the flesh do you na?

Try not to run for too long. You'll damage your knees. I've drastically cut down from doing the 2hr run to just 30mins, and even then, I hope I'm not doing too much by running 5 days a week. It's good to keep fit and healthy but make we do am with sense oh!

tearoses:
Efe my dear she may not have sounded happy in her initial post, but that feeling doesnt have to be permanent.
She may have read the responses here and she has also had time to mull over things and put things in perspective and that may have changed her mind.
She knows her hubby better than anyone else here and if she says its Okay and wants to move on then she has that right. Its her choice and its her marriage. Flexibility and being open minded too is a good thing in marriage.

She said she is happy with the way things are, who are we to say otherwise? they are the ones who live together.

what I dont like is when someone has said its enough, we carry on dissecting. We need to respect that persons stand.

She did? Where?

I've just had a re-read of her last post and all I see there are conditional phrases:

~ "Maybe I should have..."

~ "Perhaps I might have been..."

~ "I suppose I could..."

And those to me, sound like someone who's changing stances from being outrightly indignant (and rightly so) to someone becoming submissively passive / scared of rocking the boat.

Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, she came on here asking for opinions and I've given mine like you gave yours. I don't see what was dissected. And yes, at the end of the day, it's her call. She knows what to do when she feels she's had enough.

queen47:
Ah, i miss-spell am? No vex, usually, i just quote you or copy your name and paste.

I have just finished Jm level 1 and 2 for today. Sweated like tomorrow no dey.

How do you explain my clothes fitting loosely and the scale reading going up?

Simple.

You're building muscles, dear.

I planned on going out to the gym today but just one look outside at the weather, and I changed my mind jare. It's still raining sef. And it'll rain tomorrow morning too. Imagine having a cold, grey, wet, miserable Monday morning...

queen47:
Lol@ jumping for Africa. Nne, i got a bit tired and bored with level 1. Secondly, i feel like 27 mins workout is short. So, yesterday i did level 1 , 2 and the 6 weeks 6packs workout, although i didnt finish the 6packs thing, stopped about midway into it.
Today i am also doing level 1 & 2. Would have gone for a run at the gym but this weather today sef no follow, make i kukuma siddon for house o jare.

EfemanaXY and other gurus, come and explain, may be i am building muscles. I Feel leaner, my clothes confirm it but the scale is going up and not down

Happy sunday everyone

Nne, you dey follow Moca and Edwife mis-spell my name now?

tearoses:
Sorry efe but I disagree
She has come to understand that there are some things more important than this right now and has decided to look at the cup half full rather than half empty.
I actually applaud her
She realises that NO ONE is perfect and everybody as in everyone has at least one "defficiency" for lack of a better word and has decided to treat him as she will like to be treated, which is with patience and tolerance.

In marriage one tolerates some things that you wouldnt tolerate from anyone else. I am 100% sure that her hubby is tolerating some things from her too. My hubby certainly is. Giving an example, I only drink very hot coffee and I have a habit of leaving half full cups around. I do the same with bottled water. I mostly drink sparking water and once I open a bottle and the fizz is gone, I leave it and open another. Can I change? Probably not totally but I do try.

She has told him about the habit and eventually he will get the message. Should she make a big deal about it NO!

She has said he is good in all other areas, so she should let him be. No one is 100% perfect.

Its her home and she has decided to let this one go. Please lets respect her descsion.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with you either. I prefer to call a spade a spade and not sweep issues under the carpet. Take a look at her initial post again. What does the tone of her post tell you about her state of mind?

omaa4:
Hello house, please I will like your input on this issue I had with hubby. This morning he was in the bathroom making use of the toilet. Suddenly I heard him spitting on the shower (tiled) floor (a habit he has and does even when I jus wash the bathroom) and I find it disgusting. He also does get into the bathroom with a bathroom slippers therafter matching water around the room. Though he makes use of the footmat in front of the bathroom though that's not very effective. Each time I try to let him know it's not hygienically okay to do that he always picks offense with me. I called out to him this morning while he was in the toilet and here is our conversation....
Me.. sweethert are you spitting on the shower floor? asking twice then I started to say: u shouldn't be doing that, I find it disgustin and besides I will end up hiding ur bathroom slippers so you walk barefoot around the house that way u understand how it feel (though I also wear bathroom slippers in the living room, kitchen and bedrooms when I feel the house is sandy as there are also other people in the house who contribute to that)
Him.. in btw my comment he is saying it's not appropriate to be addressing him while he is in the toilet

NB; this issues has been discoursed at various times in the past, please tell me my offense?

Do the bolded bits sound like she's happy with the current situation at home? She's stated categorically that she's got issues with his level of hygiene and rather than take correction, he picks offence? Like seriously?

I don't know about you but not only do I find spitting a very anti-social habit, it's also a dirty one not to mention the associated health risks that go with it. A simple google search on the harzards of spitting out in the open will tell you more than I ever could:

Spitting is not a habit worth getting into for reasons that go beyond the obvious. Despite the social indignation of those who spit, there are also personal health hazards that need to be brought to your attention. Ulcers, cancers and the spreading of disease are major considerations when talking about the dangers of spitting. Mental issues, such as self image problems, can also become a contributing factor in developing a spitting habit.

Saliva hosts a variety of diseases and infections. Spit contains your DNA, thus autoimmune diseases and bacteria are highly contagious in spit, as spit serves as a transit vessel from one host to the next. Spit that carries such infections must penetrate the body somehow and reach the bloodstream such as via an open sore, mouth or even an eye, in order to become deadly. Viruses such as meningitis are also easily transferable through spit. Other germs, such as the common cold and influenza, are significantly prevalent diseases spread by saliva.

The stigma, however, is laid upon those who spit constantly. Common courtesy is recommended when considering spitting, but if you spit just because you can and do it all the time, beware: People notice and tend to take offence.

I would've loved to put the link from where I culled that article up here, but I don't want to become the spambot's victim this Sunday afternoon.

Anyway, she also pointed out that she's concerned about their six-month old daughter. Isn't that more than enough reason for her to have issues with him over this? But rather than change, he gets angry and makes no attempt to make changes.

The example you gave about you leaving half opened bottles of water, etc aren't relevant here (no offence intended). You're comparing apples and oranges. He spits. It's dirty. It's got health implications. You don't spit. And I hardly think a half drunk bottle of sparkling water constitutes a health hazard.

Yes, no one is perfect but marriage is about give and take. Not take, take, take. Sure, it's about tolerance but I repeat, there is a level up to which any sane human being can take quietly in their stride before they reach breaking point. She's bending over backwards to accommodate his habit and she can't handle it anymore, hence her bringing out here in the open. What is he doing to help the situation, apart from feeling "disrespected"? Can she in equal measures decide to squat on the floor and defecate on it, instead of using the toilet because she finds it more comfortable / she was brought up that way? She came on here asking for advice and opinions and I've given mine, just as you've given yours, so I don't see what the big deal is here.

Stillfire:
Another overgrown, overfed tata in the house.
So woman go put this kind thing for head, call am head of house? Chineke God of Nazareth!

Never a dull moment on nland, I tell you...

Fixation:
I was with a lady friend of mine yesterday evening, and she was complaining bitterly concerning her husband ..

According to her she said once the man brings money for childrens school fees that's all.. He don't bring any other money either for food, rent or other miscellaneous expenses and he don't even help at home.
She works in an insurance firm,after work,she will be the one to come home,cook,clean,take care of the kids and all that.. The husband does nothing more than coming home and going straight to bed.. They both work 9-5.. Sometimes she leave the office earlier rushing home just to attend to the kids.. She has also tried to get a house help in which the man refused.. She's getting tired of the whole work since its becoming too much for her..

Now let's hear your own experience married women.. How supportive is your husband at home and how do you manage it if he's not..

So if they both work 9-5, who looks after the kids while both parents are away?

omaa4:
Thanks everyone for your comments, @Kimoni, thanks for the candid advise, @TV01 will love to share notes with your wife. Honestly, my hubby is not as bad at it sounds, maybe it's just me trying to be overly worried about the issue. because he ends up bathing and washing away his spittle from the bath. And he's really not so careless in a lot of other things, except this particular bathroom habit of his. On the contrary, he's quite a decent and well-trained young man from a good family. And he's also of good general hygiene like hand-washing and wardrobe cleanliness. Infact it was him who introduced the footmat in front of the bath. I even threw away two of his bathroom slippers which works better that than the new one I bought, without his consent. Maybe i'll have to buy a more absorbent footmat. I guess I will just handle the situation more gently and with love and I believe with time he will get over the habit. And he does not do this everyday, just sometimes. *lso he does not pee on the bathroom floor as I said, just some pee on the toilet seat but this too he wipes with a tissue. He's also not a bad influence on our daughter, rather he's a caring and doting dad who enjoys spending quality time with his family. Infact he was there in the delivery room with me in the US when we traveled to have our daughter. Maybe I need to appreciate more what I have.

And I think you need to grow a backbone woman!

You've completely gone 360 degrees on us. So if the issue isn't with him, but with you as you'd rather have us believe, then why bring it on here? Can't you take criticism in your stride?

There are certain things, we as human can only take so much of. I'm sorry to say this, but from what you've told us, it sounds as though your hubby lacks basic home training and his hygiene level leaves much to be desired. Are you now his mother or what? What's wrong is wrong and you should be able to point this out to him. I'm not asking you to go in there, guns blazing, but you SHOULD be able to let him know that certain things are unacceptable!

Is he a three year old for whom you need to treat with kid gloves? Please.

And for all those saying ignore / treat him with more love...comic relief, I tell you.

I bet you, if this was the other way round, i.e: you with the floor wetting, weeing, and spitting issue, majority of the advisers here would have suggested that he ships your backside back to your parents' for some basic home training 101 lessons, ASAP.

I agree wholeheartedly with GHoJes. You do have self-esteem issues and are willing to sacrifice your happiness and peace of mind by taking the blame for something that isn't your fault at all. What's wrong is wrong. No two ways about it.

tearoses:
The issue of dripping water can be solved by placing a thick folded towel down on the bathroom floor so he steps on it as he comes out of the bath.
You can also buy a good quality bathroom mat

Won't he spit on that too?

omaa4:
Then the spitting issue am not a crazy person that will quarrel with someone spitting while taking a bath. It's usually while he pooing he jus keeps spitting into the bath area sometime pee's on the bathroom floor sometimes there by leaving d bathroom in d room always smelling. It hurts me cuz I knw it can be better I have been as rational as possible. I get him water to flush most times I flush for him I clean up the toilet he messes up with tissues buh I guess I complained cuz I want him to atleast be a good example to our baby.

Lemme get this straight. So while perched on the toilet seat, he shoots / hurls his spittle into the bath? Sorry dear, but that's just disgusting. And I'm sure it's not a one-off thing - with you hearing each phlegm hit and slide off the bathroom walls.

Ewww...

Shymm3x:
Lol, that will be too explicit for a Sunday morning - Bleep.

I will just say if she has a smile on her face after the fact - then she will most likely come back for more like Oliver Twist. But if not, then it is all up in the air - Hail Mary loool.

...Mother of God, pray for us sinners...

Shymexx, you are naughty! Okay. Say no more.

edwife:
I am fine dear,sorry again.I went out with la familia and comeback late.

Some crazy stuff hapenning here and i received 40 mentions and couldn't read any because it was deleted.Wow do people this sad?

Some peeps need to take their pills before longing in,it is becoming scary.....

How are you doing darling? Today i will be here waiting for you ,i will give you any nighty of your choice.....

Sleep nor gree come. Oya post the pics make I look. I want green and grey ones oh.

40 mentions? My, you are popular aren't you? Well, it comes with the territory. You should know that by now, na. Abi?

Don't you see how Chillisauce handles all her admirers?

5minsmadness:
@EfemenaXY
Nice legs ma'am.
It's been a century. How things?

You need Jesus.

Today is Sunday. Go to church and stop committing lookery.

I'm good though. You?

Shymm3x:
Guys fight over chics all the time, that comes with the territory cos guys are naturally territorial - and also sometimes the need to protect ya other half.

But when chics fight over a guy - that's intriguing. You just wanna watch the cat fight, as Papi Chulo the mac daddy and feel like the King of Zamunda lol.

Happy Sunday.

No.

Two women fighting over a man is just disgraceful. Why fight over him? While he smirks? Nah, let her have him. They deserve each other.

That even hurts the guy more - when one party chooses to "give up" on him.

Happy Rainy Sunday to you too.

Shymm3x:
More time it's about one chance and you always have to make it count cos failure to do so might deny a next opportunity in future.

Er..no..

I still don't get you. Who has to make it count? The man or the woman? And make 'what' count? Break it down for me further, Shymexx.

edwife:
I am fine dear,sorry again.I went out with la familia and comeback late.

Some crazy stuff hapenning here and i received 40 mentions and couldn't read any because it was deleted.Wow do people this sad?

Some peeps need to take their pills before longing in,it is becoming scary.....

How are you doing darling? Today i will be here waiting for you ,i will give you any nighty of your choice.....

Lol...moi is going back to bed oh!

Been up since 3:00 a.m cooking. Finished an hour ago but nature beckons...

Later dear.

FannySwindler:
My leaving the thread is sign of respect for Softysparky and my promise. And I don't want to offend Amis.

My late father and mother have just been abused...that should have been full blown war.... Can even track anyone down for that. But I have taken it as a man and let it all pass. Bygone is Bygone.

I don't have to e-fight to be a man.

It's okay, man.

Just take a couple of deep breaths and let it go. Sometimes, silence is even more powerful than retaliation, even though it hurts. Doesn't make you any less of a man either.

Let it go dear.

Shymm3x:
Lol, the legendary Texas Orchard lol. Easier said than done.

Growing up with a single dad is inconsequential when it comes to getting supreme sexual satisfaction, especially when it comes with status, money, power, security, and respect. It comes with the territory. I guess you have never had that Mutombo-esque honeypipe that will make you come back for more.

There's a universal guy code out there about: when you beat it once and beat it right, she'll mos def come back for more - but if you don't, you'll be lucky to get another shot. Great Mutombo works like UMC (universal mind control): it controls the body, mind, soul, and spirit. And the guy used to play in the NFL - so he has the status and money. He probably must have told the side chic it's over and that he needs to focus on his wife. And ol'girl became suicidal and it became an issue of: if I'm not getting more of that Mutombo and all the goodies that come with it, his wife isn't going to get any. The only reason he let the guy live is cos she's madly in love with him and couldn't summon enough courage to hurt him.

Tell me more about the bolded bit. In red

Shymm3x:
Sad.

Kanwuliajara, is that you?

@EfemenaXY

This is the angry black woman (ABW) syndrome I was alluding to. In as much as I love and adore black women, a lot of them are headcases lol.

--------------------/-/---------------

Darn! Two chics have never fought over me. Rather than fight, they just communicate, turn to pseudo-friends and start discussing a nyggah like an item that's about to be auctioned off. I need to step my game up.

Lol! No way!

You've got some weird fantasies man. Nah, it's always better when it's two (or more) guys fighting over a girl. It sorta makes you tingle at your toes. Almost òrgàsmìc, even.

moca:
Abeg,forgive me. Confused state of mind then.
Yes,i guess it was that and more.
Hit me during my first.
This one harder. Hubby wasn't around too and in a new environment. But I gat one good nebor,infact all of them where wonderful.
I always take a stroll to clear my head and see those nature's gifts that I lv so much.
Gradually,it subsided and hubby came over during d weekend to give me a shattering kpekus
At least my mind will be occupied with d experience.
I don try na?
Almost one year sabbatical
Maybe na d thing wey dey worry me

How is body and soul?
Hope family is cool?

I'm cool.

Good to know you're feeling much better. Just slow down and take things easy. No stressing. You'll be fine.

edwife:
I didn't see this on time,i will post it whenever you come around.Don't forget to holla me

I don show.

Oya post them, make I see. Howdy, babes?

naijababe:
My niggles are gone, back to JM tomorrow morning.

EfemenaXY, I have not done the Azonto work out o but I will and let you know

Lol! No worries...

queen47:
@EfemenaXY, i am on day 3 Jm level 1 30days shred, i also do add a bit of running to it.

Foodwise, i wasnt good yesterday, it was my graduation so i ate chinese with friends.

I came here to put up my grad pics for 30mins only to realise that spambot got me because of the post in quote. I am yet to figure out what it was about the post that i was banned for.

Graduation?

I did not see the picture o! Congratulations dear!

Abeg the occasion certainly called for celebration na, so don't worry too much about it. You'll be fine.

I still keep up with my morning exercise & diet routine, military style. No time for slacking. 30 mins sit-ups / lower abs workout + my 30min run. Breakfast is nothing more than a freshly squeezed lime & lemon fruit with 1litre bottle of warm (not cold), tap water. I also take 3 or 4 medium sized tomato fruits (abi veg) with it.

Today Saturday was my 30 min swim class. Really exerted myself today in the water and actually felt my thighs 'burn' from the effort. Was planning on going for a 1hr spin class immediately afterwards - I'd even booked for it - only to be told later that the instructor had called in sick.

If I manage to drag my arse off to mass tomorrow, I'll go to the gym afterwards for the 50min spin class, then the 1hr Stretch 'n Tone class. I'll finished that off with a 1hr lane swim...and if I can still use my legs afterwards, go for a retouch, steam, and blow-dry at the hairdresser's.

For now lemme relax. It is Saturday afterall. Yaaay!!

byvan03:
Edwife, bukatyne, cococandy, chillisauce, Efemenaxy come chop.

Lordy, lordy...this looks absolutely yummilicious! I'll have the stockfish with okro, ma'am.

damiso:
UK based peeps is anyone watching 'Britains Forgotten Slave Owners ' on BBC 2.

Very different perspective on slave trade /abolitionist movements in Britain.

Now this, I must watch. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow.

SAMBARRY:
o yes


I called on edwife to go to police station and collect my bail she refused


bet God pass am.na me be this


I no go commit any nl offence

Good.

Then maybe you can stop trawling nland using my name. It's freaky.