₦airaland Forum

booqee: still better than d orangutan dat u are! Buhahahaha! .
Btw, my own class of ape(if it could even be called apes in d first place), we're called homosapien.
But you.....?! You be orangutan! Mtcheww.....

Where have you been? huh?

richidinho: Opio...... when a ball passes in between legs

And what is that picture doing there? That nose is definitely an oxygen ARRESTER

PLS Give this Profile Picture of a Nairalander a title

^Don't worry, the gate fee's free (or you don't read english?). Anyways, why do you like walking bare feet?

thehomer: If God doesn't make mistakes, then how can you say that hermaphrodites are abnormal? And you go on to cite errors in human development. Couldn't it be that God made them that way because he likes them to be that way?

Pls permit for being away for a while that's why I never responded. Now to your question, God never makes mistakes but according to Christendom & the Bible, man became imperfect hence bringing abnormality into everything about humans. That's why the buildings, cars, electronic gadgets we all use are prone to fault no matter how carefully made they are, e.g MV Titanic.

In fact it is said that some evil powerful spirit beings (e.g Satan) are said to be responsible for some of this abnormalities.

WTF Who's DustBin to supervise an exam not to mention awarding diplomas & degrees. 4k it, you're a scam.

Even your manner of awarding the $h*t stuff's enough to show you're lacking.

Ruqaya: at home noo ni

Ok, you guys are asking of Mikuz alone, what about Booqee? (missing her ) Or does she come when am away?
Otooro's also missing. I hope Mikuz & otooro didn't go for fishing in the dead sea.

DISC 8....Coming Soon

Pls stay tuned.

Ruqaya: ekeroyal!

Have been calling you since yesterday. Where have you been?

I'd turn u to 'W'

You're thick headed & can be used as wash & wear. But I don't use it, so I'd turn you to 'O'

NOw there's no better way to meet a down to earth MAD MAN in NL

yuzedo: NOT do NYSC
Me wey wan do service again sef!
The only frustrating period is registration when camp starts, once you settle in, you are good to go, good to go, good to go!
Let me tell you what i gained from NYSC:
1. Army connections. One of the soldiers is now a bonafide brother even though he is way older with a family and always on peace-keeping missions, he has my back any time. Confirmed!
2. Punny (Lots of punny) Everybody wants punny. Don't u want punny?
3. Friends: I'm not talking fair-weather friends or acquaintances. Genuine buddies that've got ur back, real solid connects and people that give you laughs for DAYSSSSS!!!
4. Experience: My one year was wonderful. I learned a lot, positive and negative. Working for INEC during the elections, my place of primary assignment (Sucked but i thank God it did because it toughened me up, showed me how bad things can be, gave me focus on goals, and prepared my mind to understand and appreciate how good the future would be). .
5. My current job was facilitated by a friend i met during my service year. I don't need to mouth-off on the World Wide Web, lets just say i thank God cos in giving Him the glory i acknowledge that only the truly blessed can snag fantastic jobs with perks and prospects like this with no extra qualification to a B.Sc.
Uncle leave story, NYSC is THE year i tellya! I hated my PPA but always looked forward to CDS to wear my khakis and go an faff around at the LG with fellow corpers. I can't describe how enjoyable the whole year from start to finish was. Would definitely do it again if given the chance!

yuzedo: I forgot to add:
6. If u are handsome/fine and ur NYSC uniform is well-fitted and sexy, people will dash u money, buses and cars will stop for u to cross the road, etc. But if u are in mufti, u r just another bleeping nigerian! Talk-less if u are a worwor corper with ugly, dirty, ill-fitted nysc uniform, motorists will splash mud on yo azz, and okada will tear urr cloth!
7. You are para-military (espirit de corps) so u cannot be booked for minor offenses. I will expatiate.
When i was serving, i beat the traffic light at maryland on my way back from a lecture. Na so lastma just jump out wan obtain bros. Being a Proud Corper i calmed the Bleep down and politely insisted that the modafocking light changed when i was slowing down. of course i refused to let them in, and of course i remained calm and polite. Until they felt i was a maga, i just matter-of-factly told them i am a corper coming back from ALAUSA where i am returning on duty and i just wanted to return my brother's car i was driving and pick up my own. you shoulda seen his crest-fallen face when i mentioned corper. in a last-ditch effort he asked for my id which i confidently whipped out. sad man asked me to go! Now if to say i be bloody civilian, could i have taken such liberties?? Bleep no!
8. Corpers earn free 19,800 every month!!!! we got only N9,800 gaddemit! infact i dey vex!
9. FREE PUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Federal & State punny. (oh, i've already mentioned that! )
10. Corpers don't need visa to travel. Just buy ticket (as long as it is onitsha, benin, etc u are going to). .
NYSC RULEZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!! I miss my service year yo!
Shout-out to all the girls i pressed their bre@sts for free and promised to buy them sharwama!!! Hola atchur boi @yuzedo77

Can't stop laughing.

Well am scared of even coming to Naija in the first place (if only my brothers will ask for their people before they start bombing ), not to say NYSC. But my uncle has warned me to come & suffer now or suffer when I don't imagine. (My Dad says don't do any shit boy). Am confused! But am like a Lone Ranger (Wenger kind of person) Just "Keep attacking", your opponents will end up defending & never attacking and even if they do VM5.0(Dad) will cover up, lol. I think I found something that would help other "OTONDOS"([s]don't know where the cow got that name for foreign trained geeks[/s]) like me.

Check it out here:

http://otondo2016..in/

Oh hell before I forget, is it possible to be serving with your wife? Pls I need people with experience to help out here, it's not funny.

Ruqaya!

ugosly: so why re they all in yoruba?? so why re they all in yoruba??

Because it's a Nigerian language and you're in NL. If you know another Nigerian language please don't hesitate.

crackhouse: It is b/cos most of the peeps here are jambites and they just finish there exams so most of them are busy doing registration in their various schools. Don't worry, they will back after the registration.

That's another point I never took note of

Lots of kids are here. OMG!

@OP, you're damn right, Bin's an ignominious character to this section. I definitely wonder why he's still here. Thought he had left when he said he was gonna leave.

bin gbagbo: dem kèep fi scandal wi name when dem cant get wi strenght and that how they go; badmind and grudgeful mi no wan see dem no longer for dem pray and pray for my downfall wi live longer!

eke, r u okay?

Ya man are si da bigining of samtin ya hav navar siin in na lyf dis tym. Ya ma nat find na place to rest ya d**k head. D gods are decision to finish ya until ya apologize. Team bring it on, rassclat.

[center]The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout!
Time was when, on its own,
from my trousers, it would spring,
But now it's just a full time job
to find the 4king thing!
It used to be embarassing
the way it would behave,
for every single morning,
it would stand & watch me shave!
Now as old age approaches,
it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head
& watch me tie my shoes!

~By Bin Gbagbo[/center]

Mister NRC: I don't quite agree with you on the emphasized but every dog has its day and every man also has his say.Anyways that's your opinion. Cut my teeth in both Schools in the last 7years prior to 2009 (for various capacities) and I can proudly whistle a diff. tune. Times might have changed but the underlying principle still remains true.

@OP: just as life you can only go as far you push if you are focused and determined. Same with every programming language, it take a 'lifetime of patience+skill+adaptability' to be a good one. 5months is just about 'Enough to Learn Java' as you put it but I can assure you as ekeroyal said, its just to grab the foundation of Core java.

~Cheers~

It's ok bro., like you said "every dog has its day and every man also has his say". I've studied in NIIT D/Line Port Harcourt 2005 and as a beginner then in a class of 23 only 3 of us are oracle certified till date. Aptech is a shadow of itself, the interesting thing is that, if you visit India the home of this IT centers they're battling for survival. I've been there a number of times and can tell you out of experience. Yes they're good at Networking, PHP, ASP.NET, Graphics but Oracle & Programming esp Java is still out of their reach if you want to know them well.

I wish it was possible.

good one sollygirl, more grease...

Vivly: r u talking from xperience?

Yes, it may sound like a joke but am damn sure those lines are very familiar to you. This is NL, you've only spent a few months on here, just wait till your account is one year old. You'd even speak not just with experience but with example.

dani1luv: I didnt hide it!!

the spambot marked it as spam and banned you automatically!

so sorry about this!!

It's ok bro. NP!

You're a Barca fan and always happy when your opponent gets red card for no reason.#YourCaseHasBeenViewedInHD&JudgedAccordingly

Your name is Leo Messi & you always act Messy#YourGodIsPuttingGingerInsideYourEyes
#GodWillPunishYouThis Season

You always love sleeping with peoples sisters but hide yours. #DevilWillGiveHerStomachTumourForLife

What a way to pay those bunch of cheats. To hell with Barca, for once let them feel the pain of loosing well.

I knew it, the law of karma. Who believed Torres would score in a game of this calibre.

ekeroyal: For a very long time now, Bin's been without viagra thanks to lack the medication in medicine shops.

Bin finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out after the break, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.


Seeing the results and panicking he grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.


Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in (yikes!! Job time) and it's hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.


"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"


The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"
Bin replies "that sounds crazy but might gonna try it". (even inanimate things will feel the power of Bingra)

Dani, why are you hiding this blockbuster?

bin gbagbo: eke which bin are u talking about? hope its new bin cas if its me' i swear u will use your own teeth to cut your own head.

This thread is dedicated to Bin GBAGBO of NL. I don't know any New Bin $h*t

My dear looks like the situation of the country is biting harder than usual as the day progresses and no free MB this days so the likes of emmm......you should know are now outta service

WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGI.NA FOR A DAY:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ...BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned center of gravity.