₦airaland Forum

^kwel bro. Old? Yes and so? It's still funny.

swtchicgurl: not yet, some more nicer and cuddlier, u knw

Pls we're outside for crying out loud & mcnepow & others are seeing. I don't want us to be called promiscuous. Why not you manage this first, I'll give you more later. Ok, honey?

Jojo Armani: nice collection ekeroyal. Keep makin us to laugh. I stayed tuned. Me likey

Gracias Jojo, am trying & will do more. Pls continue staying tuned. I appreciate.

swtchicgurl: i want some more

ok, but am not doing anything bad I hope.

Hugs switchgurl 'n' number of times (real tight), gives a 'n' number of hot kisses .

Carries her and swings her as well.

Hope you're happy.

swtchicgurl: its not funny! i will not laff at to ur joke until u yansh me do ur resposibility! mtchew

Pls explain more to me? I thought I gave you a handful of hugs & kisses the other day. What am I to do still?

PARROT SHOP

A lady went to the store to buy a parrot and asks the sales person "What's so special about the parrot ?"
Sales person: "this parrot can talk" So the lady asks the parrot "how do I look?" The parrot replies "you look like a phucking Slut?"
The lady gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it.
The sales person tells her to please wait for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says "if you disrespect the lady out there I'll soak you in water again" and takes the parrot back outside.
The sales person asked the lady to ask the parrot another question.
Lady: "if i come home with 1 man what would you think?"
Parrot: "he's your husband"
Lady: "2 men"
Parrot "your husband and his brother"
Lady: "3 men"
Parrot: "your husband, his brother & your brother"
Lady : "4 men"
Parrot: "bring the phucking bucket of water, I already told you she's a slut!"

swtchicgurl: mtchew, coward!
u beta step up to more responsibilities!

You mean to your responsibilities?

Pls, the number you're trying to reach isn't available now. Try again later.





ODE!

OP, wTf?? Aend you expekt me to luaghf?






Mtchew!















OMG!

Buahahahahahahaha, dose sperling is thee bombu. Pls ignored dose piepule whu dont no guud tins.

dokunbam: Am loving these
At least keep it coming

Thanks brother, may there be meat in your soup always.

onoti: Bin, naturally ur face look lyk murderer....very selfish human being....

The joke I've been looking for

swtchicgurl: i like this one! can u prove it on me?

Ole, it has been proven several times, your case can't change anything

This is an interesting but useless questions and you'll get same answer accordingly.

answer: It won't happen because it has never happened and in fact if a person is sick and is about to die giving him or her even the best intercourse ever can't work.

Advice: please stop asking this kinda questions.

Family wahala - 1

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them
kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few
years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got
married.

"Later my father married my step daughter. That made my
stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also,
my wife became mother in-law of her father-in-law.

Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy
was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also
the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the
half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.
"This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose
stepsister is my father's wife, I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law,
my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and
I'm My own son's grandfather! And you think you have family wahala




Pls who can explain, I don't even understand.

Otooro in trouble

A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Guess what happened..
























scroll more, please.......


























Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

2 STEP TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

sTEP

1. gIVE HER PLENTY OF MONEY

2. rEPEAT STEP 1 DAILY.

Comment: Work harder and Become NJPC president general

Suto's a good boy, the son of a handsome man & charming mother.

May your days be long.

swtchicgurl: hmnn, u try

Pls say sth better. I've passed the trial stage long time ago.

Sagamite: The use of cretin is like the famous Arnold Scwarzenegger phrase:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1ypn0y32Ac



In my world, there are no relevant positive sides to rude and disrespectful women.

If a woman does not, and is not willing to, make you happy, my advice is to always dump her and find your happiness.

You're the man, don't know why I never met you in NL till date. It's obvious you're one of the men who think clearly in here. Kudos bro.

mcnepow: Stop to buga jooor
[s]Abi u wan first intimidate am before u chyke am??[/s]

Sorry, you mean bugger? But I didn't call her that. And I'm not trying to intimidate her by any means. And what is chyke? Do you mean Chike or sth?

Ruqaya: OMG, can't stop laughing

mcnepow: looool

U copy some sha but an overall Nice job!

kody-licky:
great collection
more pls

Thanks pals, happy you giggled at them, definitely more will come your way. Pls stay tunned

@OP, I'll excuse as a newbie. But take note that in before posting any joke try to search for it in here to avoid duplication.

Hope you'll grow into a better joke. Try harder to make us laugh next time.

Pirates confraternity of Nigeria (Ladies wing)

[size=15pt]This marriage according by me should be dissolved ASAP for the following reasons:

1. No respect

2. No communication

3. No trust

4. No commitment

5. No love

In fact no relationship exists.

If my wife tries it, I'll teach her am the man in charge.

RUBBISH[/size]

Any woman or girl who comes here to support that bit.ch is a LovePeddler and is not married and if any guy comes here to support her is not man enough. No religion -Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, Shintoism, Paganism supports this. So I don't know where some unscrupulous elements are getting the notion that it's her body and can do whatever she wishes to do with it. Can you even keep sentiments aside and see how foolish she is?

In fact case closed, Mods pls close this thread. It's annoying.

Am really perplexed that in two weeks I've been banned three times in NL2 which never happened before. I didn't complain because the first one lasted for about 10 minutes, the second one was really annoying it happened three days back and before I could say Jack Robinson, I got a mail from Seun that I have been unbanned, that it was the spam bot malfunctioning. Then yesterday again I got banned and I sent a message to Seun, and in about 5 minutes I was unbanned.

I thought it was a problem, but now I realized it could also be a joke. Am sick and tired of this mess. I don't know if any other person is experiencing the same insanity whether from the moderators, the spam bot or even Seun himself. Please share your experiences pals.

Old local blacksmith

An old blacksmith realised he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said.
"When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."













Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

Mister P
Interview Dialog

Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir

Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems
Candidate:

BIN~GRA - 4

One week later, Bin returns home so excited and his wife was like 'did you get a promotion?' 'No' Bin replies. 'So what is it?' she queries. He puts his hand into his back pocket and drops a brown envelop on the table. His wife picks it up quickly and behold, it was his sack letter. 'So why are you happy? Did they give you any benefit?' Bin's still smiling profusely, and suddenly he says 'I finally put my joystick in the pickle slicer' His wife fainted. He quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was revived but on seeing Bin she collapsed again. So the doctors decided she is taken away from her. When she is finally resuscitated, she narrates the whole issue to the doctor in-charge. The doctor quickly rushes Bin into the intensive care unit, connects oxygen and gets his team ready for repairs on Bin's joystick. Before Bin could say Mary Jane, his joystick was already greeting the theater erect & healthy. The doctor was confused, Bin quickly noticed it and said 'don't worry I know your problem, that woman told you something. Now go and tell her what you saw and let me explain'

When she's brought to Bin. Bin says 'I have a confession to make, that day I returned excited, it was because the pickle slicer was also sacked after I inserted my joystick into her'. 'HER?' his wife shouted 'so you mean your joystick is in other'. 'sure' Bin replied. The wife now started 'I also have a confession to make, I am three months pregnant. And Don's responsible'. Bin fainted. After he was revived, he got home took a cutlass and visited Don's house. Good enough he met Don and before Don could say Jack Robinson, his joystick's cap was dancing on the ground. Don's wife rushed down with super glue and got it fixed.


Two months later Bin came to realize that the pickle slicer was actually his twin sister that was thrown into the evil forest by his parents for fear of the community laws. Now she was already pregnant and she vowed never to take commit abortion.

Thanks for staying tuned.

Ruqaya: @triple sin, soooooo funny

tnx, more to come

werepeLeri: What have you said really?

People like you will never understand that they're more of an economic sabotage than a living being.

I have been recently following this very little country Lesotho and have been so impressed with what is going on in certain sectors of that country. I am sure some people in NL may not even know any such country. Well I'll provide a brief introduction of this country and clearly state their strengths as well as weakness and let our politicians see if they can learn anything from her.

Officially the Kingdom of Lesotho, is a landlocked country and enclave, completely surrounded by its only neighboring country, the Republic of South Africa. It is just over 30,000 km2 (11,583 sq mi) in size with a population of approximately 2,067,000.[1] Its capital and largest city is Maseru. Lesotho is a member of the Commonwealth of Nations. The name Lesotho translates roughly into the land of the people who speak Sesotho.

Population: approximately 2 million
Currency: Loti
Economy: based on agriculture, livestock, manufacturing and mining, and depends heavily on inflows of workers’ remittances and receipts from the Southern African Customs Union (S.A.C.U.).
Most significant resources: Water & Diamonds

The areas that interests me

Education: An estimated 85% of the population 15 and over is literate, according to recent estimates. As such, Lesotho boasts one of the highest literacy rates in Africa, in part because Lesotho invests over 12% of its GDP in education. Contrary to most countries, in Lesotho female literacy (94.5%) is higher than male literacy

Currency value against US dollars: 1.00 LSL = 0.126752 USD
Currency value against RSA rand: 1 LSL = 1 ZAR
Currency value against NGN: 1.00 LSL = 20.0103 NGN

Down side: According to the UN, Lesotho has the highest rape rate of any country (91.6 out of 100,000 people); Significant levels of child labor exist in Lesotho.

Now why can a country as big as Nigeria pay 20 Naira to have a Lesotho Loti. When all they've got is water, agriculture and diamonds which in no way is comparable to the reserves of these resources we have in our country.

This is a wake up call for our Leaders and followers alike, it's our country, if you don't try correcting the past & present mistakes our offspring will not forgive us.

bin gbagbo: eke stop blaspheming oooo! anyway i disassociate myself from your comments

And what do you mean by blasphemy? Or you want to tell us you learned a new dictionary word.

bin gbagbo: sTARRING:
BIN GBAGBO AS JESUS CHRIST

DONKOLLIONE AS JOHN THE BAPTIST
<lmao, he'll immerse people in punnies, OMG!>

BUNMIOGUNS AS MATTHEW
<tax collector>

SUTOBOY AS ZACHEUS
<but why?>

SKALES AS JUDAS ISCARRIOT

BOOQEE AS MARY MAGDALENE

DANI1LUV AS LAZARUS

RUQAYA AS WOMAN WITH THE FLOW OF BLOOD

MIKUZ AS BARSABAS
<criminal>

MCNEPOW AS THOMAS

VICKY AS THE PRODIGAL SON

EL GUAPO AS HEROD

JACKPOT AS SATAN

BRIGHT AS SIMON

AVAILABLE IN ALL MOVIE SHOPS
GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!!

But lemme ask where is Pilate, cephas, etc? Or did the subsidy prevent them from arriving on time?

ok, am waiting to grab my copy, how much is it? But if it's more than 65 naira I won't buy.



Jesus Movie indeed!