₦airaland Forum

Hi Guys,

I was arguing with a Friend as per America being the first to Land on the moon

and was I Gob smacked with what I saw on the net on this issue?

check this out: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/space/solarsystem/earth/apolloevidence.shtml

Please I really want to know your take on this issue.

Did America really land on the moon?

Graveyard Shift,

Hello?

Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetery in Bridge-



WHAT?!



If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you -



You reserved what for me, A grave?



A free burial space.



What's the difference?



Well, the word "grave" can be scary sir. You can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtesy call to -



How interesting. So, as a Telemarketer, you pick up the phone and cold call people to pitch them with offers?



Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them -



Of course. Who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definitely interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before you die, right?



I agree with you sir. You're so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.



I see say na you dem send come.



I'm sorry? Send, come?



Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore, right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you dem send come!



I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you're talking about.



I get fillage too o! I be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me Gold Circle condom protection, you hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?



I don't understand what you're saying -



You go understand by force. Na airmail I go take send winch to you, you hear. Una tink say una know winch just because una dey do halloween. You tink winch na dat abracadabra una dey do for America? You tink na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show you where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-color winch, For my fillage, na your eyes I go take flavor the juju. You go know betta winch when my own army land.



I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way -



You have not offended me. I am not offended. Do I sound offended? Why would I be offended because you - kind-hearted telemarketer that you are - reserved a grave for me? Do you know how old I am? 32. In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?



I didn't mean anything -



You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare you wish me death -



No, that's not what -



I DON'T CARE! Do you know how many years I worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 years. 10! Do you know how many laws I broke in so many countries before I found my way here? I have been here only 2 years. All the people who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because I am just now able to afford a telephone because I cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before I can even begin to enjoy a little, Ah, your own don spoil o. I swear, e no go betta for you.



E no, what?



Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes dem go take cry for you for dat yeye grave wey you don reserve for yaself.



Are you cussing me sir?



Cuss you? Why should I? Why would I want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.



I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.



See dis wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish, Look, just as an aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?



Some of them do have -



No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of dem make una dey go do whassup my dog for Hollywood, abi na where you dey call from.



I have to hang up now sir.



Before you hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them they have a free burial space, then try to get them to buy expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it called? Bait and switch, right?



I don't know what you're talking about.



You get pickin?



Get picking? Picking what?



You get pickin? You don born bomboy? May you dash your pickin the grave now.



Dash picking, You're dissing me?



Diss? Dis one pass diss, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S., kiss - serious kiss of death.



I have to hang up now sir.



No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetery for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily Times obituary section -



That's mean! You can't talk to me like that just because I'm a telemarketer. We are people too.



Yes, bad people, People who call me at all kinds of hours to trick me into buying what I don't need.



I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!



My juju go don finish you before you reach the place! Winch pass winch! You no go die betta, I tell you. I go make sure say dem give you craze first, make you waka enter K-Mart abi wetin una dey call market for dis side - before dem finish you! Shee reserve grave, Why you no take knife come kill me yaself? E no go betta for - Hello? You hang up? Why you no wait make I finish? Why you now wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me.

you are welcome.

glad to help. once you post ur finished work here, i'll post a more funkified

and lovely way of doing same tutorial

Very educative thread I must say.


AlmondJoy, Naijaking and Omoge thanks for making my day

Hi Omoge


https://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd209/cybergax/bouncingball.gif
which kain toilet disease be this one?

Its all about understanding between the two of them.

I think the kitchen?domestic work still belongs to the wife sha but if they can share it

amongst themselves then no wahala, but the problem be sey if the man see woman

wey take proper care of am na im be sey e don beee o.

The Question is:

Why do you wanna marry? If you are marrying cos pple sey so na him be sey e don be for you.

Never ever ever ever rush into marriage cos pple are pressuring you to do so. The pressure in Marriage

fit burst steel pipe open.

My thinking too, why is the cap still on top of his head.

Use the Clone tool to barb the guy skull.

Abi ooo. What frustrates me more is when you don't see your size in the market. I shop in the teenage section and I'm not even a teenager. [b]I just want curves not fat ooo [/b]Cheesy

@Stillwater


LMAO

There's this string -like- bead stuff caled JIGIDA.

Tie am for ya waist for some weeks the Curves go appear sharply

so far flesh dey the body the thin wan compress.

@gamine

u wan fat eh? we many for this club o. Na elephant remain make i chop to get fat but for where.

Abeg check www.fastmusclegain.com

Dem sey na lack of sleep be my problem sha.

Hi Poster,

I wonder why you ask this question now that you are married. You should have asked b4 marriage.

Try to know what he likes as a person and do it for him if you can.

If you can learn the language then go ahead, it will be very nice and I believe his people(your inlaws)

will be very delighted to teach you.

Wow we all know how to quickly run to God in times of peril. In the Bilble, it is written "For he so help those who help themselve" not "for he so help those who run to him for everything while ignoring their own ability to fight, seek, or work hard for what they want" Oya go and stand in front of express way and pray to God to stop the molue"

@Hilli666

Please which bible did u see the bolded text above?

NBC ---- Confused Folks

they don't know when to Ban songs and what songs to Ban.

They have to reformat their heads

NBC ---- Confused Folks

they don't know when to Ban songs and what songs to Ban.

They have to reformat their heads

Hi poster,

Please don't be scared at all.

I advice you go with the suggestions by CosBY
pal,
experience some challenges like that too back in the school days.

try this,
1.look inwards and stop anything you know or think u are doing that may attract them to u
2. no matter how much u like parties, don't attend any at all
3.don't walk alone at odd hours in school
4. don't keep too much freinds
5. as a pre degree student in this situation, don't have any girlfriend for now
6. always dress smart and fir in case of any emergency to run
7. stop wearing expensive clothes
8. wear multicoloured shirts most times, not plain colours
9. go to fellowship regularly and join a department
10. do not be lousy
11. don't talk to people any how
12. avoid conversations with strangers no matter how sweet the talk is
13. always go on a nice low cut
14. change your phone if its the expensive type
15. tell your fellowship pastor
16. get a close freind that is trustworthy and let him always no your whereabout NB: put him to test well before you confide in him and study his movement, let him be the less noticeable type
17. report nobody to anybody
18. don't be too close to any particular girl in school
19. mind the kind of joints u go to eat
20 PRAY WITHOUT SEASON.
COSBY

Finally Join a fellowship. BLW is very ok

Don't be scared o!

No.4 step is not showing well on the first pic so I cut it out.

I'm sure you will see the Fill box

I am using Photoshop CS3 by the way.

enjoy.

Yeah! Sorry for the delay

So achieve a white frame around pix? we do following

Open the picture

1. Click on the Rectangle tool.

2. Click on the shape layers Icon (see diagram)

3.Draw a rectangle around the picture where u want the frame to be created.

4. Click on the fill box and reduce fill to 0%

5. click on the "Add a Layer style button

6. click on stroke

7. increase size of the stoke(follow diagram)

8. click on position drop down menu and select inside

9. click on the "colour " button to change the colour the stroke to white

10. select the drop shadow button (don't just check the box but select so u can adjust the colour.

11. click on the colour and select black.


That's all for now

Ask questions if u are confused at any point

all the best man

Hi A2J,

Do u mean the frames abi?

I get back to you tomoro morning.

see ya

Please I'm really sorry diverging, but "please how do I send a topic for discussion?"

Goto the Home page and checkout the place u'll like to post a thread e.g Travel, Computers etc.

Click on New Topic to start a new one. enjoy

hi A2j,

I'm sorry Just saw your post now, I've not been here all day.

which of the girls are u talking about? there are so many gals there on the website

Thanks for asking tho.

I guess u have a less busy network for your rapidshare to work well.

Axifile allows resumable download when using download accelerator.


See ya later.

Hi A2J,

its not every1 that has a rapidshare account.

The process to download a file from Axifile is simpler than that of rapidshare.

It does not take anything I just wanted pple not to get confused that's why I explained it like that.

Its quite simple.

Waiting for your questions

Shaze,

How u dey?

1. No computer school can make u a good programmer

2. It has to be ur own very keen interest which u have for programming and u sound like you have that Interest

3. I suggest you go for PhP, its very easy to learn and can handle all the functionailties that that Java and Co can do.

4.PHP is open source that means it is very free also with MYSQL.

5. Here's a book to start you up and make you a guru with PHP:

https://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd209/cybergax/wroxphpebook.jpg


Down load link: http://www.axifile.com?3028942


6. Practice does not make perfect but Perfect practice makes perfect.

7. Enjoy

Hi all,

Here's the fix:

goto

http://blog.deconcept.com/swfobject/swfobject.zip


unzip the file and copy the Javascript file to the location of your HTML file then;


Open the Html file with Wordpad Right click the HTML file, select Open with and select wordpad)

Just after this line: "<! --saved from url = (0013) about: internet -->


Copy and paste this:

<div id="flashcontent">
<strong>You need to upgrade your Flash Player</strong>
This is replaced by the Flash content.
Place your alternate content here and users without the Flash plugin or with
Javascript turned off will see this. Content here allows you to leave out <code>noscript</code>
tags. Include a link to <a href="swfobject.html?detectflash=false">bypass the detection</a> if you wish.
</div>

<script type="text/javascript">
// <![CDATA[

var so = new SWFObject("Filename.swf", "filename", "300", "300", "8", "#FF6600";

so.write("flashcontent";

// ]]>
</script>


Where Filename = name of flash file

filename = anyname u like

300 and 300 are dimensions of your flash file

8 = version of flash you want to access it

FF6600 = background colour of Flash document


Of course you know that :

"flashcontent" can be changed to any name you like but must be the same with the name in the div tag.

I wish you the best.

Tell us wether it worked o.

Hi Guys,

I just got this Crack for windows XP, It converts your fake Windows XP/Vista to genuine Windows XP/Vista.


It does it with the speed of light

Here's the link:

http://www.axifile.com?4750663

The File ID is :4750663

Please Read the Instruction (very short sha).

You Don't even need to Restart your system at all.

Enjoy!

https://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd209/cybergax/greatday.gif

Hi Everyone,

On the other hand I've decided not to start the class but if you have question you can ask on this
Thread as regards Photoshop.

Here is the Download Link for a Book I just uploaded:

Click on this http://www.axifile.com?6027331

Put 6027331 as the file ID

The Password is: elgaxton@smforum.net

Enjoy!

Happy Valentine

https://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd209/cybergax/greatday.gif

Hi all,

If you wanna download any video from You Tube even to the format u want it to be; goto \

www.convertdirect.com and follow the on - screen instructions.


Enjoy men

Hi everyone,

The photoshop classes will start tomorrow ok.


So see you guys in this class tomorrow.


We are starting with Layers.

See ya.

sorry i forgot to include the third but here we go.

enjoy.

Hi Bro,

Hope u like them, if u don't like them enough just give me your spec or tell me exactly how u want them


enjoy.

Just ventured into using photoshop, im so used to fireworks.Hope u gurus out there can share your skills with us.
we could do this in a class format, someone comes in , shows us a demo of what we are to create and den shows us how to create it.
Please guys respond to this,i really need to learn photoshop.

Waiting for the ist class.

I have a lot of videos/ Ebooks to help you with , if you are interested send me a mail elgaxton at gmail dot com

Hi all,

there's a way u can embed ur flash movies in Javascript to avoid the annoying active X-controls message.

I'll get back to u guys tomoro with the tutorials.

see ya