₦airaland Forum

Step 1: Check that you have Excel in your laptop/tablet etc

Hey guys. How una dey.
I am going to teach/baby feed us basic spreadsheets skills. This skill is one you wont regret having.
You could use it in both your every day life, and your career -so, its not a waste of time

We'll practice spreadsheets by analysing your salary vs expenditure. You will now be able to understand how you use your money, and thus dispel ur superstitious believe that na winch dey steal ya money.

I'll also try to use very simple languages so that even if na coconut water u carry for head, u can understand.




*Please pray for me to have the strength to finish this tutorial....Tnx*

a young smart looking man started working at my office last year
he was/is doing menial job in the office, but seems bright (i dont know if he knows)
One of those type that are torn btw acting (language, networks etc) like their menial jobs
or standing out as hungry for professional growth
( I and my oga at the top of discussed (without telling him)that if he takes the initiative to learn the ropes of our company, we will absorb him in)

He told us (office staff) that he can sew.
Everyone picked interest in this, cos his self-sewn clothes looks smarter than the average menial worker's one


to cut a long story short, i have tried him (sewed for me) and I was not impressed.
Others also have experienced such disapointment
If he had impressed me, my goal was to make him my permanent clothes fitter for as long as he can handle
at least 5000 naira to amend (fit) each of my shirts to my taste(much cheaper than if i do it in UK)
I would also have recomended him to my friends, and they might also have introduced him to their friends

Lessons: learn a trade that can add value, and do it well

alpha conde: My advice for you and everyother job seeker is that instead of falling back to menial jobs to fight idleness I would rather u put into an apprenticeship. As a graduate some of these jobs wouldn't be difficult to learn, and when pple see u r learned they prefer you to the ones who aren't. This was what I did, am a big man now.

Very soon I would put up an article to tell ma story.

Great comment

In addition OP, there is no harm in seeking menial jobs. Only ensure that it does not affect your mind negatively. Wealth lies in your mind so guard it jealously.

I'll do a little post that cld help you think on how to create value from 'blue collar' jobs

kpele

AjanleKoko: South Africans, especially the whites, are some of the most irreverent and rude people I have ever worked with, or interacted with . Same with Indians.

Personally I don't mind us being rude or aggressive. I would much prefer that we took that rudeness and aggression, and channeled it into some sort of can-do attitude. The South Africans and Indians are entrepreneural, focused achievers. I don't like the fact that we are rude and aggressive, full stop

Umh......
strange ......
Apparently can't be answered by heirachal dimension of Hofstede's theory


http://geert-hofstede.com/nigeria.html

MoAfrica: ecommeerce data, if you are genuine i can send you the data.

Genuine?
do i get to steal the data and use it for a feast?
if its data that demands a high level of integrity (like people's biometrics, or data thats the propriety to your workplace), u shouldnt send it out in the first place.

I just enjoy experiencing data analysis
I might be able to do it. donno
I need to first see to know if I can

^^
Dont call it prostitution

@OP

Ajanlekoko is making a point
Short cuts to wealth can be achieved using all that is at your disposal and that is in high demand

But you have to manage IT properly
I mean, let's assume its your body that you think you can trade-in for quick wealth
who do you trade it to?

The 20k guys or a governor that really likes to keep you as a mistress
This means you need to also develop your brain and character plus your beauty
This should make you stick to your cash cow and enable you invest wisely when the money rolls in

^^^
ok

i agree with u
(make i even delete that post make i no spoil people)

interestingly, if everyone finishes university before 20 in Nigeria
and the economic situation is as bad as it presently is
a new recruitment criteria will come up

Probably something like this:
Not more than 20 yrs
must have travelled to at least 5 countries
must have written a published book



I always recomend this classic at times like this: https://www.nairaland.com/994349/how-create-economic-success-out

nitrogen: Baaaaaadddd! Morally, it is unacceptable.

One thing is this: the saying that 'the end justifies the means' may actually be wrong, it should be 'the means justify the end'.

Meanwhile, I think the take-home package should be that we should ensure that those coming (our children) are encouraged to do the necessary (in terms of education) at the right time, this can be done in many ways, but the one that should help most is scaring them with all these we see daily.

Basically, we should ensure that they get the best education at the earliest time(possible).

bad morally, but probably could be acceptable. depends on the individual

I heard of a set of twins who were born months apart http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/30/twins-born-87-days-apart-ireland-guiness-record_n_3186135.html

Now, imagine they both went to the KPMG test
Kehunde was 27 in the year 2013 (27th BD is 11/12/2013)
and Taiwao was 26 in the year 2013 (27th BD is 1/2/2014)

All in Nigeria with its rough and hyper competitive terain

How would Kehinde feel if he is turned back for being too old when the recruitment process is billed to end July 2013
while Taiwo is accepted

How do we evaluate morals?
what can we actually call bad?
is it same in all environments and is it a one size fit all?

...bad, bad, bad sugestion
I don delete am o
I wont be referred to as the reason for naughty stuff

koyes: The same society that encourages you to be educated regardless of the age is the same society that tells you that you are too old to get a white collar job and offers little or no support if you decide you want to be self employed...SMH

sad isn't it

But recruiters in 9ja will do well to disclose the number of positions available sha
and when they give age restrictions, it should be clear.
I mean, you're 17 years old till the midnight of your bithday not January 1st

In fact let me go and read the FOI

AjanleKoko: A lot of you guys miss the point.
The idea is to narrow the recruiting pool to the barest minumum. They are looking to hire maybe 10 people at the most, not 10,000. There are millions of graduates in Nigeria. Limiting the age to 25 or 24 means they interview much less people than they would have had to if they throw it open to all and sundry.

It makes zero logistics sense, and the cost would be ridiculous, if you want to interview 10,000 people for 10 positions.
Total waste of money.

case closed for me
you've made a point i missed
(i be think say na jand i dey )

nitrogen: I do not think it is bad, one thing is that [b]sharp, young and agile [/b]minds are needed, or should I ask that why is it a fresh graduate position For me to avoid bashing, lemme stop here

How do we identify the age group that has these qualities?
If 'young' is the operational word, they could as well peg the age limit to 20 yrs old

I think the idea behind graduate recruitment is:
1) provide a pool of fresh recruits that are willing and able to learn/trainable (that's why many coys peg entrance at 2.1)
2) Harvest freshers straight out of university (in Nigeria, this age group is between 24 to 27 whwn you add strikes and NYSC)
3) Provide an oppurtunity for country youths to chart a career path
4) Pick out the best from the education system
5) Balancing society's need for'equal oppurtunity'

In Nigeria, I see an age group between 20 and 27 years being the pool to pick such from
In some other countries were people finish university at say 21 yrs, then it is subjectively reasonable to peg age limit for graduate stream at 24/25 yrs

Just my 10kobo

^^^

This means that these international companies get to pick mostly children of the rich and upper middle class
who thanks to their parents are able to pass through the private school route and save maybe one to three years ahead of their contemporaries

Finish Secondary school =15 years
Get into university= 16 years
Finish university =20 yrs
off abroad for masters =21 yrs
Back for youth service =22 yrs
Finish youth service =23 years
Hit the job market looking attractive to international companies

...it's not fair

^^^ aside from that

The age maths barely adds up in Nigeria

many finish SS3 at age 18
Get into University at 19
Finish university (strike included) at 24
Finish youth service at 25/26
then hit the job market

Mustay: Employers ought to respond to applicants on their status instead of keeping them in the dark. I wouldn't speculate on what PwC did or did not do but as long as benchmarks/KPIs/criteria are set and some candidates do not meet them, it's normal to write oyinbo to the disqualified candidate. Unfortunately, age is a factor that affects ladies especially.

This age thing is extremely bad
a couple of my friends went for the KPMG test and were turned back
One of them was 26 which was within the age limit but they told him that he will be 27years at December 2013 and rejected him.

I almost feel tempted to take the case up and present it to KPMG headquarters
I am sure that some HR executives in Nigeria will be disciplined for that

Harvard's 362nd Commencement: Live streaming

Someone is giving out a message on social investment as a cop with a Harvard degree
http://www.harvard.edu/live-stream

Chinese are said to be behaving 'uncivily' http://news.yahoo.com/chinese-wonder-why-tourists-behave-badly-054510602.html

Nice career for graduates
guys pls zoom in on this in a hurry

what data do u want to analyse?

naijababe: ^ Let's just say being civil means you are Mugu abi?

ok o I gree. for 9ja, being civil means u be mugu
for jand, barking out orders means ur aggressive

@op

Yipi Yeahhhhh!!!
I always wanted this to happen
equal woman rights is now being respected
*packs bag and heads for airport*

naijababe: ^ In other words, civility does not work in obodo naija

Its a cultural thing

When ur in a position of high authority, ur expected to make demands that get responded to by ur underlings
so even if ur a 'small man', and u bark orders
it is immediately assumed that u must be a man oaf authority that is why u are backing orders

So everyone tries to gain an edge by barking orders/screaming etc (apart from the drama part)

The Nigerian national culture is one of authority (high Power distance index http://geert-hofstede.com/nigeria.html)

I recently had a conversation with one of my estate's managers
I got to the point I told him point blank "look, I am a top manager, forget my lack of belle and easy carriage. Do not compare me with people u see around here, and do not take my desire to discuss logically with you for granted. You must do ........"

Interestingly it got done immediately. plus they keep on saying sir, sir, sir after that incident instead of oga esere826 or Mr esere826 that they used to call me.

This thing I wanted done is what I have been logically arguing about for more than a month. Chei!!!

@OP

great job
Now lets think about what the end game would be
-How do we identify who really owns the car? does the person have to provide photo evidence?
-When will the Nigerian police be involved?
-What will trigger the release of the location of the car to the police or owner?

infact what are the scenarios that cld play out

@OP

Ok, them try small for their analysis
but lets take this up a notch
I am extremely critical of the nigerian stock exchange because of corruption, cooking the books and lack of information

Analysts would do better to map the success/sales of an industry/coy to actual consumer behaviour
Why are they making profit?
Who are they selling to?

For example
-if analysis shows that Nigerians have stopped importing xyz metric tonnes of oil, and local production is in short supply to meet the demand. Then I understand
-if analysis tells me that businesses are now uing xyz tonnes of palm oil instead of diesel for their energy needs, then I understand
-if analysis tells me that Nigerians have increased their love for palm oil. Then I understand
-if analysis tells me that we are now exporting palm oil to South Africa with a population of over 50 million people, then I understand.

However, when all I see is that company A made PQR profit, and that KPMG, PWC, Delloitte, etc auditted the accounts, then I say wait a minute. Same companys that auditted the Nigerian banks before the crash? Akintola Williams Delloite -Same company that assured the subsidy fiasco?


Uhmmmmmmmm
ok naw I probably have the anointing of Thomas Didimus
But how come I understand the LSE dynamics etc more than the Nigerian one

Ishilove: Lwkmd!!!

Rita Dominic thinned her lips?? I never noticed...

check her initial pictures and the recent ones
the idea is that no one will notice yours and criticize you if you do it gradually'
na only ya pikin kpomo nose go expose u
so u can then decide to do the Michael jackson style and adopt

Ishilove: She was really young then, early twenties if am am right. What sticks to my mind each time I remember the advert is her long nose. Back then I always wished my nose was as long as her's

Dont worry u can gradually grow long nose if its your heart desire
all u need to acheive this is to grow a long wallet first
then take the first trip abroad and get the surgeons to extend the nose just a little so that people dont notice
then take the 2nd trip abroad, extend the nose some more
no one will notice that it is man made
and u'll live hapilly ever after

There is an actrss that had lovely kpomo lips that has thinned her lips unoticed
Rita Dominic I think