₦airaland Forum

Oahray: I disagree bro. Maybe a crash course on human psychology would be in order. Being introverted isn't the same as being shy, though they go together in many cases. Even extroverts suffer self-esteem issues too, like bullies.

The introvert is simply more in touch with his inner person than the extrovert, more of a thinker than a talker, a better watcher than a doer, and in many cases, a better analyst. This of course does not mean he cannot be an orator, or any such thing.

Ohhhh nooooo
I do not want to be an introvert
i no one touch anything inside my inner person
I need to be rescued from this looming dark hole of introversy

I want to be a talkative

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AjanleKoko: You know, some people who think they are introverts actually suffer from poor communication skills.
I used to think I was an introvert myself when I was younger. I had problems socializing as a teenager, and making friends.
By improving my communication skills, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and try things I could never have imagined possible. Like running for student union elections

I think i agree with this
nas why I no one loose my communication skills

Thanks

AjanleKoko: Are you referring to verbal communication? Cos you write very well, at least here on NL.

If it is verbal communication, the frames of reference have to be defined. The way you communicate in workplace or business situations differs from the way you communicate in social and informal settings.

Yes, I am referring to workplace verbal communication. I notice that people get lost when I am talking, so I have to visibly struggle to search for words and contexts that are cognisable to my audience

I think the frame of reference is my challenge. For example, using business jargon when discussing with IT personel
Is there a way I can train my brain to quickly pick 'neutral' terminologies or block out inappropriate jargons while using the appropriate ones?

There is a plethora of text and training available for improving communication skills. I would however recommend a timeless classic: Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Fantastic read

Yep. read that ages ago. It was beautiful and changed my communication tremendously. Its theories/observations are extremely helpful in Nigeria. Wow it did wonders when I made the leap in my 'communication curve'
But wasnt much helpful in obodoyibo. Maybe because I had already internalized it and so it lost its wow factor, or maybe its simply because obodoyibo society has since evolved from the times when the book was written (60's or 70's)

Also, you should read a lot more classic literature (prose and poetry) if you want to learn language skills and how to use words in a clever manner. There is more than a thousand years' worth of that floating around, From Chaucer to Shakespeare, Pope to Cowley, Dryden to Byron, Kipling to Yeats. Also watch a lot of documentaries. You'll find that, when you know a lot of stuff, making conversation or giving impromptu talks won't be much of a challenge anymore.

I do a lot of this. I think it is one of the factors for my communication distress.

Or you can go the whole hog and join Toastmasters International. Been thinking about doing that for a while now, I'll get round to it in a couple of years

Googled it. It looks great. Will explore further

I need help in communicating
Donno where to post this, but I believe that folks in the family section are mature and experienced and could help


I have never been shy of talking when a subject excites me
In fact I love lecturing/speaking

My challenge is that recently, I have come to realise that I am usually short of words when explaining issues
I feel that this might be making me look unitelligent

The reason for this challenge is that I am begining to know/learn more and more broad and diverse subject matters
I am therefore faced with an issue of multiple vocabulary/jargons associated with such diverse range of subject matters
Also my brain is always spinning with analysis, measuring issues, identifying risks, oppurtunities, gaps etc

So when I stand to talk, i find myself grappling with the challenge of sorting and sifting through huge repositories for the right words to best articulate my point
I find it easier to write (maybe because I can fire away and come back to think through and edit)
I hate talking slow, and dont want to end up with the slow slurred commuincation associated with some Nigerian big men


As anyone gone through this challenge before? How did you overcome it?
I really need help, I do not want this present communication challenge to propel me towards being an introvert

Thanks

^^^

@OP

My observations (with a lot of generalization from me):

AjanleKoko: 1. We are generally crude and unsophisticated.
2. We are usually rude, and aggressive. In fact, we mistake aggression for self-confidence.
3. We usually show blatant disregard for office protocols. This can be anything from coming late to meetings, not paying attention to detail, or blatant disregard for instructions.
4. We are mavericks, and we like to improvise on everything. A detailed planning process is anathema to Nigerians. We just make up stuff as we go along, riding our luck all the way Now the worst of it: not only do we not have a plan, we usually reject plans from anywhere else, insisting on our no-plan paradigm

I wholly agree with these

5. We are unnecessarily opinionated about everything, even when we should not be. In Nigeria you hear stuff like 'This cannot work here; you have to consider the Nigerian factor'. Even when someone is floating an idea, getting constant feedback like that can be disheartening, especially if you are paying the person for his opinion .

umhhhhhh... my experience is that this is not peculiar to the nigerian work environment

6. We respond much more positively to threats than to incentives. Imagine, it is assumed that you get a better response from Nigerians if you threaten to fire them, than if you promise to multiply their salary. Or to put it differently, you get better results when you threaten Nigerians than when you promise them stuff.

My experience tells me that many react well to threats than to reason. I am not sure about us not responding to increased pay sha

7. We are untrustworthy and lack basic integrity. This one is rather cliche, if you get my meaning.

Not unique to us. I have also noticed this in other country work environments. No difference. They are howver more subtle about it

8. We project desperation at all times, and fight over every little thing. Also kind of cliche.

Some foreigners actually mistake our love for drama to mean fights. I have seen a number of Italians behave this way too, and the Brits shrug it off as being dramatic

2buff: Ever sometimes feel your voicemail from heaven is full? Like you know you need to know something but you don't know how to GET to the message? How do you HEAR the Holy Spirit?

What is the structure? How do I tap in? I have a feeling of deep unease and I know that this generally means it is my spirit pinging me. Experienced brethren, How long do you usually pray till you get the answer or "flow"? Please I need serious counselling. All atheists will be banned.

That feeling uhn
Well for me,... i am weak in fasting (whether wet or dry) and normal type of prayers
so when I feel that restless stiring hit me, .. i kick around for a while
and then listen to many sermons
the message finally drops in tucked in one of them, and it eases the restlessness

LOL

Pastor don talk am
we have a tendency to cheat
Its left for our ladies to check our wandering eyes, fingers and phallus

yamakuza: 1. What is Risk Mgt?

2. Why Risk Mgt?

3. How do I become a Risk Mgt Professional?

I'll approach the questions from a theoretical management perspective

1. What is Risk Mgt?

Risk management in simple terms is the ability of an organisation to recognise and mitigate issues that can affect the sustainability/profitability of a business

2. Why Risk Mgt?

Businesses are into business to make profit for shareholders. In trying to acheive this they seek to maximize oppurtunities (which would enhance business goals) and minimize risk (which could destroy the business purpose).
It is therefore important that while some professionals look at the bright side, some other professionals are able to look at the 'what ifs?" With such scenarios, the strategy team offers solutions.

Risk: What if Seun kicks the bucket? What then happens to NairaLand and all our data?
Nigerian strategists: He wont die in Jesus name. We bind you for talking like that
Professional strategists: We need to set up a succession plan and structure Nairaland for such eventualities

3. How do I become a Risk Mgt Professional?

I no know o
*runs to check google*

@Post

The more sensible thing to do would have been to ban grazing of cattle in the state except if given a permit to do so
or tightly control 'cattle' into the state
This would be modelled like how beer is banned in the Sharia north.

Its wrong to attack the people
even if you have to do so, then at least hide under some veneer of the constitution

we've had our fun on the thread, but please, take what I've written seriously
Little steps like this add up to make a whole world of difference
We're now in a global village. How prepared are you to be the UN secretary general someday
Get prepared, tuck your cloak under your belt and run...I hear the sound of rain
http://biblehub.com/1_kings/18-46.htm

I wish you God speed

@happyness

I interested in knowing how u get ur tickets for 90 thousand naira
kindly PM me with details

...Tnx

[quote author=nu-well]I believe the act of disposing waste indiscriminately on the street, should be included in the list. People need to become more environment-friendly. The presence of the LAWMA street sweeper on Lagos streets, is not even a justification to litter the place. The cleanliness of a city is a civic duty.[/quote]Tnx for that.
I left it out because i dont see much waste bins (if any at all)in lagos
if the government is able to provide such
then, yes, we should desist from throwing garbage on the floor

LOL

analysis everywhere
I think i'll make a home in the familly section

dongeedee: its an interesting sight to see ladies scratching dia engine block & adjusting dia chain cover in public. my habit is peeing in public, anyhow, anywhere, wil try to quit.

thats the spirit

ddippset: very well written. very funny presentation. nice.

adetsim: You're just too good. I love the post , though no one is absolutely perfect.

Thanks for ur commendations
so na swhy una copy the entire thing abi?
*goes to the nearest tree to pluck cane*

emusmith: *It bores me to see men pee in the public*,..bla bla bla... all of them, FORMING wat they are not...Op even said, no thanks, am not a socialist... Ur forming ends here, u know?

^^^^
http://biblehub.com/proverbs/9-8.htm Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.

speedyboi: I Know!

sorry sa
it was meant for readers that dont catch jokes easily
not u

Tashamania: And how old are you, elderly one? That you couldn't comprehend a simple post made by OP.
Go get new clothings for yourself and while you are at it, a luxurious house too. I refuse to settle for unsettled guys too. Get behind me

But pls naw
I will soon hammer
just some patience
its not my fault that i have not hammered yet
its nigerian condition

(Happyness_Chima... hope u learning some lessons from this shallow theatre, and sort of friends u shld keep away from that cld influence ur ability to get the right man)

Ishilove: In that case I weep for the Nigerian educational system. Smh

Anyway as the saying goes, if a beard was a sign of wisdom, the he-goat would be a genius

lol
Jezuz

Tashamania: What you just wrote made no sense and to that effect, I aint wasting my time on you.
You can run along now

Except ur a teenager hiding behind that moniker
then u know perfectly well what I am talking about

I trust u'll sneak back to make sense out of it
when u finally mature
*straight face*

JJahzwill: 1.
..............@ op. This piece is very like a Chris Rock clip; you laugh and learn. Thanks.

Ur welcome
Thats the essence -fun learning

*Folds worn out shirt*
who's next?

speedyboi: I don't do any of those.

esere826: You are of the chosen generation
all you need to do is to sell your property and follow me

speedyboi: uhhh?

a fun adaptation from the bible
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+19%3A16-22&version=NKJV

Amelian: Thanks for the generous offer.... You are so kind but ... I don't have any issues that requires practical male solutions...

Am more than able through Christ Jesus ..

U see,
You've got urself a man there dear

Tashamania: Hey, do yourself good and stop playing around with someone's tory.
Didn't you read she doesn't fancy unsettled guys? Yeah, she actually said it.
If you think you are done posting some serious $hit and it is time for jokes, you know the section to visit.

All this ^^^ my dear is the issue
My guess is that the kind of men she;s looking for
only approach women who let their hair down
when men are finally in through jokes/ease/fun, thats when the ladies shld spring the 'serious' trap


Unsettled guys are the majority (settled single guys are scarce)
many of my smart female friends know ways of ensuring the unsettled guys get settled
and settled with them

Ask ur grand mum to teach u some man sense
(u can also try this classic https://www.nairaland.com/1265198/dwindling-pool-male-lovers-nigeria
it shld teach u a thing or two)