₦airaland Forum

Mamaroon:
Etrange Baba!!! I'm floored by your kindness. Thanks for taking time to review and comment. Mehn!! My grammar needs prayers o. I didn't know all that stuff about where commas should or should not be. Ha!!!

I have noted this for further study as well as inserting maybe one plus que parfait and the flow of the story (Bells warned me already about this but my imagination sometimes fails me ).

Thanks again. I'll be posting more if y'all don't mind....maybe one a week.

You're welcome. Looking forward to the next one.

Bellerin:
Thank you for this etrange. Very helpful.

You're most graciously welcome!

Mamaroon:
@All

Fait divers sample...below as picture...show no mercy...critique am well well, abeg...no comment is too small. Thanks in advance.

Scard, no vex...I really appreciate the link...I'm not on FB and trying to keep limited social media footprint

Ok, let's do this!

First, I must commend your understanding of French grammar as well as your mastery of French spellings. I could only sight a few punctuation and case errors. The following are my observations:

1) Line 6: Since the story is about a girl, use "Cette adolescente".

2) Line 6: The comma after "Lyon" is not necessary. In french grammar, if a dependent clause (... ou elle habite avec ses parents et deux freres) follows the independent one (Cet adolescent est partie de Lyon ...), no comma is placed before words like si, ou, car, parce que, bien que, puisque, quand, lorsque, pendant que, a moin que, etc.

3) Line 9: Again, the comma after "France" is not required, it actually changes the meaning of the sentence. There is generally no comma before "il y a" when the expression means "ago".

4) Line 11: The upper cases in the expression, "L'Universite" are not required.

5) Line 12: "Les jumeaux" would be better than "des jumeaux" in this context since you mentioned their names in apposition.

6) Line 15: I would use "etait" in place of "est" since my narration is in the past. Consistency.

7) Line 17: Like Bellerin said, "Maggie estimait" might have been more suitable since it is a line of thought (progressive rather than a descrete set of actions). However, I personally would have used "plus-que-parfait" just to add some flavor to the story seeing that the tense never featured anywhere in your write-up.

8 ) Lines 18 & 21: I would write the "10 000" and "200 000" as "10.000" and "200.000" respectively. These seem more French.

9) Finally, there seems to be two different stories juxtaposed in your work. First is the story of a girl who decided to tour the world on foot and surprisingly got the support of many people (grand mobilization). Thereafter, this story line was assassinated! And then rose another story of
a girl who had planned to raise a little cash for her father's treatment but got more donations than she had anticipated (grand mobilization). I failed to see the connection. Apparently, you paid more attention to your grammar than your story line (I would do the same too but with less bias).

On a general note, it was a nice read, no serious errors. The linkers or "logical articulators" as Bellerin called them are spot on! It made the reading to flow smoothly.

Bravo!

For some Nairaland boys, every thread is an opportunity to bash women even when it's clearly a movie. Kids everywhere.

IamPatriotic:
Eranko with a winner's mentality! it's idiots like you that will analysis lamely if he suffers another inexplicable defeat again (God forbids). Who says he should quit SM? more over, what does he even need social media for, is he a Politician, pastor motivational speaker or Olosho ( selling bleaching cosmetics) or internet urchin like you?

Look guys, this post right here is lame.

elantraceey:
Just look at your terrible mindset, did you watch the video at all? If you can't marry someone then there's no need dating or receiving favour from him, you can't eat your cake and have it .

Terrible mindset?

Ordinarily, I'd ignore you but I don't know your status so I'll try to educate you. The bolded statement above is wrong, naive, and utterly embarrassing. The essence of dating before marriage is to know the compatibility or otherwise of the two parties involved. If it flows well, you get married; otherwise, you move on. In other words, not every relationship leads to marriage. You don't get to marry every single girl you date, same goes for the ladies. You don't have the monopoly of dating multiple times before picking a partner. Relationship is a trial period. If you can't take rejection, don't venture into it.

How does saying no to a proposal justify hitting her? Why did he bother asking in the first place if there was no possibility of a negative outcome? The lady said no probably because she can't live with such attitude for the rest of her life. It was left for him to move on but no, his fragile ego couldn't take it. And here you are supporting him, yet I'm the one with a terrible mindset. Pity.

elantraceey:
Some girls nor get sense, what will it cost you to just say yes to save the man's face and tell him it's a no when you both are alone? Not all engagement end up in marriage nau

modified :: that's front of Uniben hall 2 hostel, it is staged , they didn't even video him actually hitting her... mtthheeewww.

It's always about protecting the man's fragile ego. Such chauvinism. You want an unmarried lady to say yes to a proposal on the Internet? All because you want save the face of the man who took it to the internet in the first place? If no one enters her dm tomorrow, you'll be the one to call her Olosho for not getting married early enough. Sometimes, I wonder how you male supremacists even reason. You didn't even criticize the idiotic guy with zero emotional intelligence... What on earth justifies his action?

Sigh...

Davash222:
She’s ugly.

Please let’s not argue about this.

Lol... I don't know about that. All I know is that sometimes she's fair, sometimes she's dark. There's even a picture where the upper part is fair and the lower part dark. That's awesome!

LamidicownuBSS:
Ayam not interested plz

Yet you opened the thread. Keep deceiving yourself.

Regardless of whatever you typed up there, I want to re-emphasize that every thief (yahoo, 419, armed robber, pick pocket, etc) has no excuse for being a source of grief to others other than greed and therefore should be punished severely. Are we all not under the same leaders ? Or you think some of us don't like benz?

Let's stop painting this thing in different colours just to see if one will come out acceptable. What is bad is bad.

Which kind jagajaga post be this? With bloodshed, without bloodshed..... just repeating contradicting sets of rubbish .

Por.n and betting guys, please spam this thread at once!

Lazy OP

We can't solve a problem if we keep denying the root cause. I'm not saying Islam is bad but those that kill do so in the name of Islam. So regardless of how we want to twist it, it has everything to do with religion. Everything.

Joromi12:
why won't you score 6.5. It is not a must you emigrate .

Dude, it was clearly a mistake!

Do you people ever get tired of discussing women? Women this, women that. Why do you feel threatened by the female folks that you'd do anything to undermine them. Such insecurity. Joblessness.

They won't make won't heaven cause you're the heaven's gate keeper.

Another thread where able bodied man gather just to discuss women to boost their own mangled ego. It's obvious OP is the issue here but y'all won't tell him the truth.

muyoge:
Dancing is all about keeping time with sharp crazy body movement. There's no formula, just move to the beats and perform some funny stunts with confidence and swag. No be so?

Hhmmm.... You have a point, brother. Why am I now saying I can't dance?

Exodora:
In Igbo nwa by nwa aro .Child belongs to everybody that is one problem we are facing in our society now. Formally when a child is going astray people can call he/she to order and the society will benefit from the child attitude but now because of the insult we get nobody cares and because nobody cares things are getting worst our society is becoming something else .
Take a look around you both our men and ladies . I am not a Muslim and am not here to condemn anybody's opinion on living but we can still correct our mistakes through this young ones. My little niece her father doesn't allow her mum to dress that half necked and she has grown that way whenever her mum buys her those rubbish she doesn't wear it even if her dad travels abroad she will cry and insist on speaking to her dad and the next thing the parents will be have problems so with that my cousin has learnt to dress her decently to avoid her causing any problem between she and her husband.

This is beautiful. But on another note, your cousin's child might just be suffering from execessive self consciousness, acute timidity, insecurity, body negativity and low self esteem. Just make sure it's not any of these and you're good!

sharpguy10:
uh, are you trying to say Jamaica made food is now sweeter than our mama's food

No. He's trying to say that he has a Jamaican girlfriend who is more likely to be preparing Jamaican food than Nigerian food, simple. Not everything is a competition, bro.

Joromi12:
the wife of the cousin is the reason. Says the cousin is only helping his family. Best to let the vo know the real ish.

Hhmm.... brother, I do not know your relationship with the family but except you were there when the wife was telling him not help this particular cousin, I'd say this post of yours is way too conclusive. While I appreciate the influence of women on their husbands, it's really egregious the way ladies are called out when their husbands misbehave as if these men are babies who can't take decisions on their own. We usually find it easier to accuse the external persons (wives) when our brothers, cousins or uncles are not giving us as much attention or resources as we deserve and this has put many ladies in extremely unfair positions in most families. It's always the woman's doing regardless of the situation.

Just saying though.....

They say she's arrogant. She took it top far. She's annoying. How about leaving her alone? Surprise y'all are not calling out the idiot that had the audacity to sneak into someone's private chat to ask such a question. What stupid boldness! Nigerians, there's something called "minding your business". If the insult got at the busybody, he'd learn to stay away from people's businesses. Why was he asking, is he a midwife? He even put it in a way that made it look as if he was the meek one, such cunning individuals.

Bro, leave them. They'd just get you exhausted.

johnnybravo1990:
To me o, the thing don cast na. The so-called sponsor has backed out. What solution are you looking for? Your friend should only pray not to be banned for misrepresentation; your friend should just try to prove to IRCC that the cousin was really the sponsor but that the sponsor seems not to be ready to further his sponsorship, the reason why you cannot tell. Next time, one really has to be sure who they are using to claim sponsorship or sibling relationship, because it is surprising why a so-called sponsor will want to put someone into trouble.

Yeah...

Even if she's able to prove the guy is related to her, the application is still most likely going to be rejected cause the whole essence of sponsorship is lost if the supposed sponsor ain't willing to go on with it.

This is really sad.

blackorange:
following

If this thread were "life" you would have been indomie generation

Sweetsugarcane:
Moral lesson

What's the moral lesson in this your monica ?

Is that his jaw?

After the water, he started asking for a drink....

Don't you think needed the container for something?

Wow... I was gonna say, "tufiakwa, I'll never kill myself. The pain is unbearable" but then I read the part where you offered a way out, solution: gunshot through the brain. Thanks bro, people can now die in peace.

Lol... OP wasn't expecting this responses. But guys are hypocrites though... they care less cause it's a lady involved.

Lol.... the guys here are loving this but watch out, they're the ones that will call you Olosho tomorrow. Funny life

See them typing trash without reading.... where was Illuminati mentioned in her writeup? Yeye OP