Yesterday, baba tope aka small london told iya ronke aka mama put that mama titi aka big mama is pregnant for baba dimeji aka ife ntinye, but they have to avoid telling baba titi aka potty so that he would not get angry, so their plan was to take mama titi to london the deliver the baby, then give him to queen elizabeth, so that the queen will take very good care of the baby, they want the baby to become a medical doctor, but they never planned for the pregnancy tinz ooo, it was just that baba dimeji always find mama titi trouble, so it happened that mama titi was in her room watching telemundo, and baba dimeji came inside the room, as a badt guy, baba dimeji starting toasting her, that she is the fried rice in his chicken, the bread in his butter, the cupboard in his cockroach, and mama titi was busy saying hmmm, wowww, you are sweet ooo, that was how baba dimeji mistakenly touched mama titi and something miraculous happen, now they are looking for a solution, well as a matter of fact, queen elizabeth decided that she would train the baby, and the baby would inherit her throne, she will name the baby prince shilekunmajekodunmikimwole, and he would inherit the queen properties, from her mansions to her estates to her shopping plaza, infact everything , even her...





If you are reading this story, you are deceiving yourself, coman go and watch cartoon network sharp sharp

i will upload the pics when a bag of rice is sold for 2000 naira

mercichoco:
Hit i think. The guy complemented his colour, thats if its the lady's true complexion

xo after marriage, the true lady's complexion will change to dark black shey

EmperorLee:
Fairlyusedpant the lady no look familiar to you?

hahahaha, her face looks familiar to me ooo, she looks like the nurse that gave baba tope injection and baba tope was still crying that he needs more injection, more injection

Leave jesus, na me love you pass

Best poems to catch a girl

ladder ladder ladder ladder oo
our lord jesus is the ladder
ladder ladder ladder ladder oo
our lord jesus is the ladder
nkechi follow, follow the ladder follow the ladder, follow the ladder to heaven
titi follow, follow the ladder follow the ladder, follow the ladder to heaven


this poem can catch 15 oloshos, you can thank me later

mizzbouqui:

This is your new moniker, let me goan report you
Eyin mods, egba oju eee

babe, your face looks familiar, are you ajala ibikunle titilawo turashe the girl i saw at oshodi market pricing fairly used pampers, you wore short blue slim clean short with red bum short and green gele with yellow high heel

Wike be like - my people, the last time i bought a bag of rice i wanted to cry, forget that am a governor ooo, the rice is too costly, i no longer eat rice again, just beans and egg and i have been polluting the whole sector with my bomb

tambuwal be like hahahaha, my guy you funny ooo, your own case is small, a cow is 500,000 now, am thinking of killing a chicken sef to celebrate the sallah, we are managing my brothers...

tiredsoul:


I try to tell myself it will get better. It usually does after some time but it gets bad again. There is no peace in all these. What's the whole point of living? Too much pain

my brother, see what you will do, go and learn a trade, sell something that can help you, nothing is too small or big, try to check small scale business that the little money you have can afford, it is when you get busy, that is when the thought of suicide will disappear from your mind, just help your life...

Vinshu:


Lol been busy

babe, your face looks familiar, are you viju centimeme cubaclos milk the daughter of engr alexocombo antimeme bonfuda who was born in madagascar, grew in russia, went to school in japan, married in saudi arabia and gave birth to you in ukraine

makydebbie:
my husband aint even part of ya list


but I'll manage no 10

your husband is in number 11, his own type no dey exist

10 TYPES OF WIFE

1- COCONUT HEAD WIFE- this type of wife is the stubborn type, she does not send the husband's opinion, infact she does anything she wants, you will say mama nkechi have you breastfeed the baby, she will say papa nkechi don't disturb me, go and breastfeed the baby yourself...

2- THE MAMI WATER WIFE- this one would be doing make up from morning to night, if you tell her to go and cook she will say '' no ooo, i just did my manicure and pedicure'', too lazy, her maid does all the work

3- THE MUSCLE WIFE- this type of woman always beat the husband everything time, she get power well well, ask freeze of cool fm, he will explain better for you

4- THE TALKATIVE WIFE- this one can talk from morning to night non-stop, she can gossip from brother emeka give nkechi belle to pastor amos sleeping with mama ijeoma, always talking

5- THE WAKA ABOUT WIFE- this one can waka about, she is like MTN, everywhere you go, when she hears there is party at okokomaiko, she is there, burial ceremony, she is there, naming ceremony, prison ceremony, goat ceremony, road ceremony, new yam festival, old yam festival everywhere she dey

6- THE CHURCH WIFE- this one can die on top church matter, even when she is cooking rice and she hears that church service have started, she would leave the food on the fire and run to the service, she no send

7- THE PINGING WIFE- this one can ping from morning to night, she is always online, everything including her baby is offline to her, she is always on facebook, twitter, instagram, even the future social network that has not been created, chattillUquench, she is there

8- THE AGBERO WIFE- this one use to behave like an agbero, always forming rugged, if you mess with her, she will mess you up, na only shout shout she sabi do, but when it comes to physical battle she will run

9- THE DRUNKARD WIFE- this one use to drink alot, she can drink from morning to night, infact she has made drinking her daily food, from fanta in the morning, to star in the afternoon and guilder in the night, always drinking

10- THE ECONOMIST WIFE- this type is always stingy, she economises everything she has, if you want to soak garri, she will pour the garri on the table and use ruler to measure it... If you mistakenly waste her food, you are dead

McBrooklyn:



Oops!!!





Baby no vex now, I just wanna keep it a secret from you now. It's actually your name I wrote in the letter to give to God. She is just a messenger of God now




Don't tell me you're jealous or are you??

you want lala-ti-mi-lala to ban you, ban your network, ban your internet services, and ban your phone for 15 years for toasting his babe mama berlyn

EMPERORLEEE:


How old are you?

she is 20 years old, with 19 years work experience

EMPERORLEEE:




Church Agbasa Badt guy.

agbasa go oooo

So i met this pretty girl called laveda, and i came closer to her and told her that Iamkingzlee but she can call me emperorleee, and laveda interrupted me and said i should talk2bella her secretary that she is busy, but i did not give up, i told her that she looks like a trapqueen77 to me but since iamnawty, i can make her a prettythicksme, but asuo27 interrupted me, and told laveda to leave this villageGOAT alone, and told me to carry my smellymouth and get out, but i told her to STFUareyouGod? That even if i have a smellinganus i can still love laveda, but asuo27 said odikwarisky, well fuckshit, i was actually jealous because i luvU2 since i was a fynestboi, but i ran away because she was the mamagee of nairaland

Viola, we burnt the snake
sorry i don't eat snakes, i only eat sharwama, pizza, fried rice and burger

So it happened that i was relaxing in my 5 star room, eating my fried rice and chicken, when i heard a sweet voice ''fairly used pant, fairly used pant'' i thought it was from heaven, that a sweet angel was calling me, but i no send, because the fried rice was too sweet, so the girl shouted again with a loud voice ''corper fairly used, see snake oo, see snake ooo'' ha, as a big man wey i be, i walked outside with my six packs and pink lips, and told the young lady not to worry, and i hit the snake with a small stone that david used to kill goliath, the snake stopped moving, then my guy obj the baddest, came and used a stick to hit the head, that was how we killed the snake, then after that we did some praise and worship and some prayers...


Pics is down there...

Cc lalasticlala okafor 1 the only chief from the tribe of aba, am greeting ooo

OdikwaRisky:
Fairlyused are you okay?

yes sir ....

I tried to upload the screenbullet sorry screenshot but my screen got burnt, so i decided to write out the message out of the screenshot
the screenshot is down there




screenshot


Brother uche- kate how are you?
Sister kate- am fine and you?
Brother uche- am cool, how was your night?
Sister kate- it was fine and yours?
Brother uche- it was cool, did cold catch you?
Sister kate- yes, and you?
Brother uche- no, did you use wrapper to cover yourself?
Sister kate- yes and you?
Brother uche- no, how is you day going to be?
Sister kate- it will be nice and yours?
Brother uche- it will be cool, have you eaten?
Sister kate- yes and you?
Brother uche- yes, what did you eat?
Sister kate- rice and indomie and you?
Brother uche- garri and plantain, have you taken your bath?
Sister kate- yes and you?

Brother uche- yes i have, are you going out today?
Sister kate- yes and you?
Brother uche- no, am not going out, where are you going to?
Sister kate - eko hotels and cinemas and you?
Brother uche- no place, what are you going to do at eko hotel and cinemas?
Sister kate- to play sportbet, and you?
Brother uche- no where ooo, are you going to church tomorrow?
Sister kate - no am going to mosque, and you?
Brother uche- am going to church, i thought you are a christain?
Sister kate- yes i yam, and you?
Brother uche - yes i potato, when are you coming back?
Sister kate- by 2am and you?
Brother uche- you be witch?
Sister kate- yes and you?
Brother uche- i rebuke you
sister kate- thanks, and you?

I will upload more screenbullet sorry screenshots later when i repair my screen that got burnt
stay tune

Berlyn:
wetin u come dey find here Oh

jesu.. See boobs... Babe, your boobs looks familiar, i want to open a milk factory at lekki phase 2 can you be my major distributor

Kenneth205:



Yes dear! One of my rides!

one of my rides? You want to start forming like davido, so that ireneony would following you like tonto dike... Dariz is God in everything we do

TrapQueen77:




Hahahahahha.... I don't mind being a Mobile I don't wanna be a tv

instead of being a tv, you can be a television... Television is better than tv

lilyqueen:
hmm fascinating

hmmm captivating

Jesu... See those two lovers up there discussing like mama nkechi and papa nneka use to do in my compound every morning... Continue ooo, maybe i would be the mc for una wedding day ooo

berryice:
Am xceptional

babe, your face looks familiar, you too fine, can i be your sugar daddy?

Jacksparr0w127:

I am Jack, I give no fvck

eeeeee baddest, my two hands up in the air for you, i feel you bro, you must be part of the militants, no adolf hitler sorry mind419 can stop your shine, carry go my broda, i heard rumours that prettythicksme has big back side like nicki minaj, how true is that

prettythicksme:
Thought as much,no dey dibo for me again. wat is dibo in English?

dibo is a name of a person, animal, place or thing