Jacksparr0w127:
Na him sabi


How you dey jare?

continue gossiping you hear, i will soon call mind24 aka adolf hitler to come and ban and bind your account, your monthly mb, your internet settings and your phone for 30 years with hard labour

LadyMercedes:


Enyi nwoke, na me o, Sister Nkechi. I no see you for our spot again ô. You don dey follow Mgbeke abi? Nsogbu adiro. Let's meet under the mango tree tonight.

hahahahaha, babe, why shall i follow dem mgbekes? Impossicant, well i would be going for praise and worship this night, maybe we would meet under the yam tree tomorrow night, i hope you would be available

Funke went to a show with a short skirt, The skirt was too short, that funke could not seat down throughout the show, she was standing like a bodyguard, even baba lekan and baba jimoh were just praying that she would sit down so that they would see the gold under her skirt, before i knew what was happening, okafor was praying silently, that the wind should blow the skirt up so that he can see everything

the pics is down there, viewers discretion is advised

LadyMercedes:


Nawa o. Ugly moniker nko?

babe, your face looks familiar, are you nkechi munachi aishatu the daughter of chief dr ahmed kunle obi the man that owns a petrol station at okokomaiko, you wore blue jeans and blue eye pencil with blue low heels and blue face cap, i saw you at lekki phase 11 opposite linda ikeji three star restaurant

Again, nneka aka slimbitchroborobosexytohbadt was spotted with daddy lekan aka big meat at a two-star restaurant in lekki phase 10, opposite dangote filling station, daddy lekan was spending too much money on nneka, he bought for her - ice cream, chicken, meat pie, pizza, donut, egg roll, buns and ribena, infact he spent upto 200,000 naira that day, so unknown to him, iya lekan was in that same restaurant, she came to buy one bag of pure water that she will use and cook indomie for lekan her son, since no money, so she sighted daddy lekan from afar, and was shocked, so as daddy lekan wanted to kiss nneka, iya lekan came closer and gave daddy lekan a tantalizing sweet miraculous shaking thunderous lightning and vision seeing hot alleluia slap, this slap made daddy lekan to forget his state of origin, so daddy lekan started running for his life,


as i am still typing this to you now, daddy lekan is still running, i heard he just passed kogi state with his two legs

i will upload the pics when arsenal buys messi, neymar and suarez, with mikel as the new coach

ireneony:
why...like say other topics nor deserve fp.
guy stop to de assslick

buh babe, have i told you that i have 2 plots of land in ota? Yes ooo, i have 2 plots of land in ota, one prado jeep, and one house in banana island opposite dangote filling station, even linda ikeji use to come and fetch water in my house with her bucket, i am very well loaded with my pink lips, so why shall i lick asss, sorry asss lick i can't fittitt do that

Cc lalasticlala nwachukwu the only chief ogadimna atulegwu 1 from the tribe of aba... Better topic don show, abeg take am to the promise land

Ha, my sister ishilove you are right, kiss daniel is not good sorry i mean kiss and tell is not good, that was the same thing that happened to my friend okafor jnr, okafor slept with nkechi the groundnut seller, so when nkechi carried her groundnut and came to sell to okafor at his place, were he sat outside with his friends gisting, can you imagine that okafor, o God, okafor my friend bought 500 naira groundnut and did not pay, when nkechi asked for her money, he said ''get away you there, is it not you that i slept with, gerrarrhia joor'' nkechi started crying and she left, okafor immediately became happy, he said to himself that he has arrived, so he went to meet amaka the fuel seller, after toasting her for 2 days, she gree for am, so he slept with her, the next day he came to buy 50 litres of fuel, he no pay, as usual na, he said since i have slept you, you are nothing, amaka started crying and okafor no send, he did the same with tina the car seller and made away with one prado jeep, no payment, but one day, devil decided to use okafor pics to fan himself, there was too much heat in hell fire, so okafor my friend went to meet a tomato seller, her name is ijeoma sexy, after toasting her, he slept with her, then the next day he came to buy 2 baskets of tomatoes, and he told her that since i have slept with you , you are nothing... Eeeeee haaaa, ijeoma provoke, she say ''okafor wetin you talk, talk am again? Me wey don sleep with men tire, na ordinary small boy like you with tooth pick under your boxer na him i go dey shame for? You dey craze'' that was how ijeoma aka ijeoma sexy gave okafor a sweet tantalizing alleluia miracle shaking pepppericious hot smelling slap

right now as i am typing this to you, okafor is still in mbelitem hospital receiving treatment, he survived the slap sha, with minor injuries...

Am pure oo
i only saw two oranges and one water melon, i saw fruits there, arranged on the table, the oranges are placed on the top, one orange for brother emeka and the other orange for kunle, while the water melon was not showing clearly, it looks like the water melon is unripe

thank God am pure ooo

6 REASONS WHY IS IT NOT GOOD TO SMOKE OSOGBO WEED BEFORE CREATING A TOPIC

1- it makes one to think that he is typing the right thing, not knowing that it is not the person that is typing, it is the weed that is typing

2- osogbo weed gives one the inspiration to type rubbish

3- osogbo weed makes one to feel on top of the world, you see visions and start typing not knowing that those visions are not in existence, but you just have to type it anyway, because it is the osogbo weed that is speaking

4- osogbo weed takes control of the person's life, the person starts acting mad in the thread he creates, people will start thinking that the person is running mad already, not knowing that it is the power of the weed

5- osogbo weed can stop a person's progress, instead of the person to create a better topic, he ends up creating a foolish topic, thats the power of the weed

6- osogbo weed destroys the plans that God have for that person, when a person creates a topic with osogbo weed in his system, the person who suppose to bless him with 500,000 for creating a topic will end up crying

add yours...

The 200,000 get levels, it depends on what you are trying to say,
is it 200,000 decadely salary?,
or 200,000 yearly salary?
Or 200,000 monthly salary?
or 200,000 weekly salary?
or 200,000 hourly salary?
or 200,000 minutely salary?
or 200,000 secondsly salary

Fabulocity:
He no do praise and worship with ifunanya?

no praise and worship today, the slap decided to reset his destiny, so he is going on a 40 days and night fasting, when he finishes it i will update you

So tunde entered inside one three star restaurant called ''iya lekan mama put enterprises- dealers in all kinds of pomo, round about, isi ewu, chicken, cow tail, fried rice, jollof rice and amala with ewedu mixed with eko.... So as a big boy, tunde entered inside the restaurant and ordered for rice 10 naira, beans 5 naira, plantain 5 naira, macaroni 10 naira and 2 fish... Thats 100 naira total, then he sat down on the table for two and was getting set to enjoy the food, as he reached out for his spoon, his spoon fell down on the floor, when he bent down to pick his spoon, he mistakenly looked forward and saw ifunanya skirt, buh what he saw was not too clear, so he brought out his phone, and threw it on the ground and bent down again to look well, but the vision was getting clearer small small, but as a guy that never gives up, he took his food and spoon, and placed it on the floor and looked again, he was seeing everything clearly, the vision was clear, he saw ifunanya promise land, and he felt like moses, unknown to him that pharoah was at his back, xo iya lekan tapped him and asked him why he was putting his food on the floor? He said ''hmmm, haaa, iya lekan, omo iya mi, eh, as a matter of fact, my doctor said i should be putting the food on the floor because it is balanced diet, it will make the food balance well and it helps guys to see vision about the promise land and heaven too'', but he did not know that ifunanya has been watching him since, and she came closer to him and gave him a tantalising miracle shaking sweet alleluia slap that made tunde to start crying... Since then tunde has decided never to bend down again, infact he has joined the evangelism team in church to preach against any spirit of bending and seeing vision


i will upload the pics when arsenal signs messi,







sorry, i mean messinioluwapo timilehin of mushin fc

prettythicksme:
hehehehehehehe wat do u think?

am suspecting vizkiz, because after the normal praise and worship and some prayers, some holy touching can take place, those kin of touch touch that can lead to early midnight press up, and we would start hearing funny sounds like hmmm haaaa alleluia

prettythicksme:
I will follow you

follow follow

Praise and worship

StarryV:
Nwokoma jiri ya nwayo o. Tis fun tHo

babe, your face looks familiar, are you uzoamaka nkechi chinazamuekpere tope, the daughter of chief dr ambassador nwachukwu kunle from the tribe of aba and the owner of obago spare parts industries at lekki phase 7 opposite dangote filling station

Op you tried, but ask yourself this question, when last did you go for medical check up? Doctors recommended that we should be going for medical check up every month, but for your case op, as a professional medical doctor wey i be, i will recommend that you should be going for medical check up every day, it helps alot, because it helped baba alaba who said he loves beyonce and he would die for her, but after going for medical checkup, he discovered that he had a very rare sickness called ''malaria of the brain'', but now he is ok...... You can thank me later

Opistorincos:
Osogbo weed don finally circulate reach op side

na togo weed i dey use .... #teamforeignweed

mimiejacobz:
the first pix would have been beta with out the eye shadow and hez lips are fyn

babe, your face looks familiar, are you nkechi mbelitem majekodunmi titi the daughter of chief okafor kunle, i saw you at lekki phase 5 wearing bumshorts and macaroni top with blue high heel and red sun glasses, you entered shoprite to buy moimoi and akara... Is that you

Abeg, try this on obasanjo and adams oshiomole, those guys need makeup, let us see if they will resemble beyonce

Airyprince:
ladies nd fightin over boyfriend

this picture and nairalanders

Op instead of settling the fight, you are there snapping pictures to upload on facebook and get 50 likes and 500 comments

well back to the topic, that was the same thing that happened to nkechi and titilayo, they were fighting over their lover who was an okada rider... The other one said she is entitled to the back seat of the okada, the other girl no gree, they started fighting ... It took the intervention of the army, police, airforce, navy, frsc, and lastma officials to seperate the fight... But there was no loss of lives and property

WindUpMerchant:
im not on blackberry, im a cybercafe attendant, so the left over time from customers dats what I use most times to access nairaland.

am happy for you brother, the lord has done wonderful things for you, i can see twaci has finally accepted you as her personal maga and mugu sorry i mean as her personal love and hero, this calls for celebration and praise and worship, try to bring these following items for the thanksgiving in church
1- ten bags of rice
2- 12 dozens of chicken
3- 5 goats
4- 10 cows
5- one truck of star
6- 100 crates of minerals
and one packet of condom sorry i mean one packet of chewing gum, so that we can praise the lord... Its very rare for chief miss dr twaci nwachukwu to accept anybody, but since she has accepted you, then you should be proud... The thanksgiving will hold at baba thomas church of christ in banana island opposite linda ikeji house, don't come late ooo

Yes, the headphone will walk again, it will surely get better, just take the headphone to a general hospital, like burukutu general hospital in lekki phase 8 opposite nitel filling station, tell them that when rain was falling, the rain beat the head phone with koboko, the doctor would have to scan the headphone for any internal damages, then the doctor will carry out tests for the headphone, he would test for headache, malaria, typhiod, std, hiv, aids, gonorrehea and syphilis, then after testing, the doctor would administer the normal medications like he would give you panadol extra and malaria medicine to make sure that the sickness in the headphone disappears, after that, take the headphone home, allow it to rest for 3 days on top of your bed, cover it with blanket, then after three days it will start working... You can thank me later...

Funmi wanted to show the guys in her compound that she has big boobs, so when she opened her bra i saw a great stampede, all the guys in her compound started running away, even the goats, cows and dogs around that street started running too, so i joined them in running too, i did not know what happened oo, but i just started running too, we ran from lekki phase 5 to lekki phase 12 then finally i stopped one of the guys running and i asked him what did he see when funmi opened her bra that made him to start running... He said ''hmmm haaa heee my brother, if you saw what i see, you will testify that jesus is lord, mehn i was expecting to see funmi big boobs, immediately she opened her bra, what we saw was two groundnut and 10 stretch marks, it was very scary mehn, i just had to run for my life'' he now said '' but bro, why are you running too?'' i said ''haaaa heee mmmm, i had to join you guys in the running ooo, no be me go carry last''


so finally we did praise and worship and some prayers and we travelled to our respective villages, we left lagos entirely, no more scary events again


i will upload the pics wen nigeria wins 50 gold medals in the next 2020 olympic tournament holding in mushin , lagos

SirDavico:
Crazy dude. But It's not funny.

some have teeth but cannot laugh, some can laugh but they have no teeth, we have teeth and we can laugh, glory be to jah jehovah

Fabulocity:
Fairly use come I've buy new paynt for you

no no no no no
fairly used pants is the best, it can last more than new pants, it is a tear rubber pant, if you burn the pant, it will not burn
if you put fire on the pant, it will not catch fire
if you swear for the pant, the swear will back fire
if you curse the pant, the pant will curse its own back
if you throw the pant inside the dustbin, someone will still have mercy on the pant, remove it out of the dustbin, wash it and sell it again as a brand new fairly used pant

buy a fairly used pant today and enjoy enough benefit
GRAB YOUR PANT NOW!!!

Pabloosas:
Na fairlyusedpant [sorry...underwear...] she dey use

no, na underpant she dey use

Smellymouth:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/4130856_img20160820wa000_jpege6ad38fc440e80c4ae54a6f2445f8fb9

... Ma nigga

Did you know that when nkechi washes her underwear, something bright shows out, she uses omo to wash the underwears, and the omo removes all the yama, oil and stains out of the underwears, making it shine brighter than snow, then she spread it on the rope for it to dry and the sun hammers its brightness on it, making it to smell like rose...

I will upload the pics when yobo become the highest own goal scorer in the world