₦airaland Forum

When a short girl tells you "nice hair" bros kindly check your zip.

You can never know how long a night is untill you spend it in bed with a woman who denies you access to have sex with her.

My sister pray o, pray for husband o, infact fast o...make your breast no first you settle down o......

Why do churches organize prayers for barren women but ignores low sperm count men? On behalf of all the men, we're going to lead a protest in all the major Pentecostal churches across the country.

You paid Bride price #900k and you did your wedding with #3.5 million...now you've broken up with her because of text message of 4naira from her ex, are you ok ?

We went for a PTA meeting. The Proprietor said any Married Man without a Side Chick should pray for us. Since 1pm, all of us are still waiting. I don't know how many days we will stay here.

You are praying for a God fearing woman but when she says "no sex before marriage "your eyes opens like a newly initiated cultist...the cane angel Micheal will use to reset your brain is being soaked in kerosene.

When you visit your boyfriend for the first time and his neighbors start calling him names like: Odugwu, Senior man, sniper, sharp shooter, one man killer and onyeisi.

My sister, God is communicating with you.

A man comes into this world in-between the legs of a woman, and he spends his whole life on Earth trying to access that hole regardless of whatever it will cost him because there's no place like home.

Having said that, I see more men dying on top of various woman in the coming days, I see a deadly scarcity of men because a vast majority of them will die in active service while their manhood lives on, I see young girls in serious desperation to get married, I see them frustrated because there are no more men left in the world to marry them.

I see Isaiah 4:1 becoming a reality...And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

This I have seen.

I see Europeans, Americans and Asians relocating to Mars by 2023, I see them leaving earth for Africans, I see Africans killing each other to inherit their properties in their various countries, I see the survivors enslaving one another, I see girls being possessed forcefully by the dominant clan, I see them destroying everything the whites built in their various countries, I see them returning the world back to the Stone age.

This I have seen.

I see you selling all your properties and emptying your life savings just to give to her, I see her giving the money to another guy, I see you suffering from stroke and asking Nairalanders to raise funds for you, I see them calling you a scammer, I see you using the last 1k in your possession to buy snipper, but I don't know whether or not you drank it as the revelation became blurred immediately you purchased the snipper.

This I have seen.

How come they're not telling UGM/ESN to surrender and seek forgiveness, or is the offer only opened to northerners alone? Aren't they capable of forgiving southern Nigerians as well?

I see the army loosing the war over terrorism, I see them dying in their thousands because they've chosen to remain foolish.

This I have seen.

This man still talks like his campaigning, someone should remind him that he had already won the election 6 years ago. I see Nigerians demanding Buhari's resignation, I see their demands falling on deaf ears, I see buhari being forced out of aso rock, I see Nigeria liberated.

This I have seen.

I see burna boy escaping an assassination attempt before the end of this year.

This I have seen.

Congratulations, I see him becoming a world champion in wrestling besting the best of the best.

This I have seen.

Ishilove:
Tell the baba that his jazz no work. Demand a full refund

Baba kwa...I'm spiritually stronger than any baba. Besides nne it's just a harmless hangout, you don't have to be scared cos I'm a geninue child of God. You're safe with me.

This I have seen.

Ishilove:
Scammer. You dey learn work

This was supposed to be fun, but you ended up accusing me of being a fraudster I'm offended.

You'll have to pacify me by spending the weekend with me, I'll dm you so that you can give me your contact and I'll send my driver to pick you up so we can have fun together and forget that this misunderstanding ever occurred.

Do we have a deal.

Ishilove:
Your reward is heaven. Oya seal it first and when it manifests we will sow the bumper seed offering

My dear, seed offerings are portals that hasten the manifestation of prophecies, you will still sow the bumper offering when it manifest, but you'll have to water the soil so that the fruit can germinate, your dream of relocating to Canada is already a reality.

This I have seen.

Ishilove:
Afghanistan

Hmmm...even the devil wouldn't honour such request, don't worry I'll give you Canada, mark this post, before the end of this year, you shall step foot in Canada. You can now proceed with your seed offering so I can seal this prophecy.

Ishilove:
You really are your name

I thought you wanted to relocate from Nigeria? Ok were would you like to relocate to, speak the word and see it done...

Ishilove:
I gave up on Nigeria a long time ago. Na to japa remain

I see getting married to a man from Somalia, I see you relocating to Somalia and raising your kids there.

This I have seen.

Igbos are wise, June 12 is of no concern to the Igbo man, so I see no reason protesting, I see oduduwa republic becoming a reality after this protest.

This I have seen.

That she puts your picture on her status doesn't mean she likes you oo.
Don't forget...Even Rat picture dey untop of rat poison wey kill am. Be wise.

Kriss216:
Protest for an impossible "Better Nigeria"

Protest for Biafra and oduduwa republic respectively. I have protection perfume you can spray so that bullets wouldn't hurt you.

Before I say anything that I've seen, what's oloture, you should know that not everyone here is of the Yourba extraction.

Women Problems

Wife: Can I cut my hair and make it short?
Husband: Cut it

Wife: I took lot of efforts to grow it long..
Husband: Then don't cut it

WIfe: They say short hair is the fashion these days..
Husband: Then cut it

Wife: What if the fashion changes after I cut?
Husband: Then don't cut it

Wife: All my friends say that I will look beautiful with a short hair..
Husband: Then cut it

Wife: But I doubt whether short hair will suit my small face..
Husband: Then don't cut it

Wife: But short hair is very easy to manage..
Husband: Then cut it

Wife: But how can I wear flowers in my hair. I love to wear flowers.
Husband: Then don't cut it

Wife: I think there is nothing wrong in trying once...
Husband: Then cut it

Wife: But it may take a long time to grow hair again.
Husband: Then don't cut it

Wife: Still I feel like giving it a try once
Husband: Then cut it

Wife: If I look ugly after cutting my hair ....
Husband: Then don't cut it


The husband is undergoing treatment in a mental hospital presently. He doesn't speak anything except two sentences. "Then cut it" and "Then don't cut it."