₦airaland Forum

MrAgbako:
Oya

Kenyans should smoke him out.
I like Kenya. They don't welcome criminals in their country 😂🏃

Kenya is ruled by a criminal. The Cabinet Secretaries of their illegitimate government are also criminals. Every department of this rotten country called Kenya is run by criminals. If this Sam Larry dude is a criminal, he should be very safe in Kenya.

Only thing criminals (whether foreign or local) need to do to thrive in Kenya is to ensure that they give the relevant authorities their cut ("criminal tax" ), and they will even run a human trafficking cartel right in front of a police station. That's how rotten Kenya is. Rotten to the core.

Félicien Kabuga (the recently-captured Rwandan genocide suspect) was a wanted fugitive for many years and was hiding in Kenya. Outgoing and incoming regimes would hide him because Kenyan authorities only apply the law on poor criminals. Wealthy criminals are untouchable.

TruthsFM:
𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘔𝘰𝘩𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴,𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥,𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯.

Actually no. Marriage is not meant to be endured. It's meant to be enjoyed. It's an institution where both parties offer friendship and companionship to each other and this cannot be achieved while both, or either of you, are in a state of enduring the other. For instance, will you endure a wife who brings men into your matrimonial bed (unless you're in an open marriage)? Will you endure a wife who tries to take your life? Will you?

It's not always a bed of roses because life itself is not a bed of roses, but enduring an unhappy marriage shouldn't be encouraged.

folake4u:
Sometimes water (friends) is thicker than blood (family).

Allow me to borrow these words of wisdom.

folake4u:
Hahaha. Leave them to their folly.

In their old age, it's their wives that nurse and feed them saltless unripe plantain and oil-less vegetable sauce.

LOL! So you know all about Poco's saltless and oil-less soup? 🤣🤣🤣

folake4u:
Lol. I can relate. My father is a very kind person. Too kind infact. He wanted to uplift his extended family too but they never just liked him at all.

He got burnt all the time until he learnt his lesson and left them alone for good.

Well, I learnt a lesson from him. I'd NEVER marry into any family where the extended family doesn't accept you. You're not just marrying your spouse alone, you're marrying into their family too.

In my father's case, they bludgeoned him as he was coming out of the car and left him for dead. This was executed by his own cousin, whose mother's medical costs my father catered for until she recovered from her illness. They were shocked to see him alive the following morning.

My father is a very tough dude but he'd somehow soften when handling his relatives (relatives my arse). These fools would sell his property with wanton abandon, completely disregarding the legal consequences, knowing very well my dad go shout tire but do nothing about it.

What lessons have I learnt from my dad? - That your blood is not necessarily your family. My relatives must earn my friendship. We won't just relate because we share a paternal great-grandfather or that our parents are siblings. They must treat me with kindness for them to be a part of my life. Otherwise, they cease to exist in my world.

DaddyCoool:
Combine IjebuWarrior post with my post above and the mystery is resolved!

Noted.

IjebuWarrior:
The so called bad boys are not necessarily thugs or reckless guys. It's simply a trait of toughness and masculinity which every lady perceives as naturally sexy.

Just like guys find submisiveness as sexy, same way ladies find toughness, yet dynamic as sexy.

Caveat... Sexiness doesn't equate to Romantic. There's a stark difference.

Thanks for your response. The phrase "bad boy" has been thoroughly abused on Nairaland.

What's the definition of a bad boy anyway?

Is Pere a bad boy?

iammo:




Personally as a guy, you can't be my friend if you don't have one of this vices

Smoke

Drink

Or

Womanize


Men without vices are very strict, boring and sometimes wicked.

Nothing to be proud of.

You must be very young and shallow to think that these 3 vices, which are likely to kill you before your time, are attributes upon which your friendships should be based on.

You males choose dangerous, unhealthy lifestyles and when you come across statistics of men dying before their wives you start shouting upandan that marriage stress kills men, while it's mostly the stupid life choices most men make which kill them. This includes driving like Safari Rally drivers on a two-way lane.

@ OP,
There is no way you of knowing whether someone has had a traumatic past until you interact with them and have them tell you their story. You can only speculate.

A poster claims introverts are traumatised people. Some are, while some are not. Ditto extroverts.

izonborn098:
Turning many of them to introvert

Nairalanders just love using that word "introvert" anyhow. Like it's a disability to prefer your own company.

So people who prefer their space and choose not to have meaningless conversations with shallow individuals are that way because of trauma?

GloriousGbola:
Farfalla you hear so?
They also say we are well hung

Please don't take the words of that semi-ashawo seriously. I assure you she's never been with any Naija dude. She just wants to create a buzz around her brand.

As for well-hung men, I can easily tell you which part of Africa has them en masse.

Same story -- year in, year out.

Where you people find the mental stamina to carry woman matter for head, I'll never know.

Okay. Women over 29 should be avoided. Have you all heard?

Nairobi to Entebbe.

Testimony1988:
Hmmmmm, some of them is their lifestyles that is hindering them from getting married.

There is no lifestyle that hinders anyone from getting married. People should just look for their match.

This is going too far to be honest.
What is this?

Mase2020g:
So many ladies cause their singlehood,

while others are as a result of village People,

After selecting and you end up being alone.

Are there people who marry without selecting? Doesn't marriage (or any other form of relationship for that matter) require a level of selecting?

Klass99:
Welcome to the thinking and mindset of average Nigerians on marriage. Judging by the comments and quality of thoughts on this thread, a car gift will obviously ruin and scatter a marriage. In this 21st century o, not the dark ages when women were seen as nothing, the world over.

I wasn't even shocked. In fact, they met my expectations.

I like how you reminded them that the husband is not blood.

Usainterviews:
Kenya, South Africa and Ethiopia..

Fixed.

Rokiat:
Why you wanna know?

Anyways South Africa or Kenya.

South Africa, Rwanda, Ghana.
Kenya na wash.

bigtt76:
Be like you be feminist eh 🤭😂

Feminism has a very different meaning on Nairaland. By Nairaland's definition, I'm probably a feminist because once in a while I get to air my opinion about how I find the high-level misogyny displayed on Nairaland disgusting.

bigtt76:
Though OP didn't mention if the in-law on his own could afford to own a car but I believe he should and if he wanted or the wife requested, he could easily get it for her.

Now for the wife's brother to now go behind and buy a car for his sister and in her name could be seen by her husband as underscoring his capacity to provide for his family. You know men can be jealous at times. Just to avoid unnecessary wahala ... buying in their name prevents that with the hope that the husband would read between the lines and say ok - babe you take this car and be using to commute to work. Case close.

If you feel this is not a good option then.... I'm not in a position to debate it any longer with you 😘

While I appreciate where you're coming from, I'm not convinced that buying a car for a sibling would be too big an issue to scatter a family. If the man gets triggered by such a minor thing, maybe he wasn't such a good man to begin with. I don't even think spouses should co-own anything anyway, but that's me.

We can agree to differ.

PaulOtl:
And your own issue is that you only craftily picked out the part of her moving on, to make a statement, to whip up sentiments from onlookers.
You're a woman , after all. It's expected.

I said what I said. You felt triggered and hence, felt you needed to clap back at my comment.
Or are you the woman in the OP's narration?
Lol.
Shift

Projection at its best.

You're the one getting emotional here. The OP, albeit superstitious, wishes to have a deeper insight about how to go about having a relationship with a widow. Instead of addressing the matter, your "logic" causes you to attack a woman whose story you know nothing about, and in the process, attack women in general -- the usual crap about women's inability to love.

By insuniating that you expect nothing different from a woman, you really are not able to see that this very statement is an act of trying to whip up sentiments? Does the statement portray any level of objectivity, which most men claim to have, even though they are emotional wrecks?

Widows and widowers move on EVERYDAY! In fact, more widowers than widows move on with their lives. I have seen widowers looking for companions 4 months after the death of their wives. Using your "logic" do these men lack the capacity to love too?

Asking me whether I'm the woman in the OP's narration? Really? LOL!! And I'm the one whipping up sentiments? Okay oh.

thebar:
Not true

If a man dies, the family have Rright to give the lady to a younger guy in the family

They believe if the lady take her children o another man's house in the name of marriage, the children won't get the proper care they deserve. So they'll give the lady to another guy in the family..


And bible also talk about this in Deuteronomy 25:5 (KJV) If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her[b]

Stop it. Just stop it...!!

Everytime people want to justify nonsense they must quote the Bible or the Qur'an. Just stop that nonsense.

A man's family has no right over a widow and that's that. Nonsense...!!

bigtt76:
You wan cause family problems?

How will it cause family problems? If a car will facilitate her transport to work, where will the family problems come from?

bigtt76:
Let her husband decide how or who rides it.

Why?

PaulOtl:
Sighs....
This is why I say there is nothing like love in the world. It is yet another vanity people chase in vain.

" Young widow "
Now, she is already receiving your " pipe " inside her chamber.
Probably her husband thought she would love him till the end of time. They move on fast.

No one loves you I'm this world, man. If you die (God forbid) tomorrow, she'll equally move on to the next available dikk and home.
I'll enjoy my self-love to the fullest. I'll never love a woman above myself, or put her first, because I know this game all too well.
Only God can love a person. All we do as humans is just manage, or endure, or compensate one another. Not real love.

Your issue is that a woman is moving on with her life.

DamnnNiggarr:


people dey try o!

did you bother checking what caused her to be a widow at a very young age, I guess NO

So you've never heard of people who die young and leave young widows behind? Is it only old people who die?

The way some of you reason...SMH.

folake4u:
"To start chaos is easy" - Tinubu (2023).

Odebayo4010:
You can't eat your cake and have it

Oh she will. The whöre will have her cake and eat it.

kkins25:
it seems you tapped into the wisdom of the heavens

Years of personal experience and observation.

Truvelisback:
You have a point. After a while, the feelings will just consciously or unconsciously begin to fade away. Sadly, this is someone you were madly in love with. 😔

What do you need love for when you've got logic?

pocohantas:
I keep telling these women not to overplay their independence, but they don't hear. It comes off like you are compensating for a feminine quality that you lack. Yenyenyen, I pay my own bills. Overly independent women tend to get the worst of men. Allow men be men and stop the nonsense.

The UN 2030 Agenda for SDGs must agend -- "What a man can do, a woman can do better" crew. They will do vulcanizer and gravedigging jobs better if they keep pushing it.

Always attracting gigolos, bouncers and "pastors". I've seen it even in my own family.