₦airaland Forum

Hint Hint

The young woman really thought she'd been very patient through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.

One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.

As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So, how do you like your rice? Steamed or fried"?

Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown

If we must go by Bible standards, your friend is no christian but an adulterer.
However, what he has done is not strange in our world; using muslims as an example to
justify his action is wrong. He did what was in his mind all along.

DId I detect a question in your post about what you should do? If you are a christian, pray for him but
don't partake of his wickedness. He should be pitied as do all men who indulge in such acts.

Be cool

@ laudate
Why don't you think you will ever get married? Heard nasty stories or seen bad marriages? Because of a lot of accidents on the way doesn't stop from going out. So also with marriage. God will give u a good spouse 2 love n cherish. Be cool

Me first. And that's how hv should be.

Interesting posts all. Looking 4 nobody but went 2 Igbobi college yaba-1971/75; St. Gregory's college Obalende-1975/76; Uniben-1976/80
Known as Mark feelgood @ the varsity. Only 4 info because I'm in touch with my guys

Interesting posts all. Looking 4 nobody but went 2 Igbobi college yaba-1971/75; St. Gregory's college Obalende-1975/76; Uniben-1976/80
Known as Mark feelgood @ the varsity. Only 4 info because I'm in touch with my guys

Thanksgiving Prayer

My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course, at first, they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things that should be included in the prayer.

At Thanksgiving, we had the whole family over. My nine-year-old wanted to say the prayer.

It went like this: "Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff and the bread stuff, even though I don't like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food!"

The Pregnant Turkey

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen and inserted it into the turkey. She then stuffed the turkey again. She put the bird(s) back in the oven to cook.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Reference

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources.

"Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."

The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day.

The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for
our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."

@lioness
Prayer, m'lady, prayer - to God, that is. Start your day with prayer together and end it with prayer. Together.
Without God in my marriage, sure don't know how I could have coped. O yes I've heard of folks who have lasted
much longer than mine and without God in their marriage. But then, I can only talk about my marriage and not
someone else's.
Pls be cool

@izoneb
Your compliments make my head to swell. Many thanks. Do pray that your own marriage will be an even better experience
than mine. God bless you

Dear Damsal, you apparently didn't get the import of the story.
1. The poor people did not ask the rich man for help. He offered and they were grateful for the same.
2.There was no imposition on the rich to help and that was not implied in the story
3. Rather than truly help, he wanted to use them to achieve a selfish purpose. He should have let them be.

And that's the problem all over. The poor you will always have in the world. Extending a helping hand to them
to alleviate thier poverty when it is in your power to do so is not only a gracious and rewarding act, but indirectly
the helper is assured of his peace.

We are not all equally endowed with various gifts and graces in life and using the same to complement and assist
one another is a good thing.

But then how many poor people have I helped today? I'll disappoint you by not answering the same. However, I come
from a culture where sharing with the less privileged is taken for granted - and while I recognise that modernity encourages
individualism/hero worship, I choose to hold on to the faith and practice of my fathers in this particular aspect and really
encourage my children to imbibe the same. Additionally, whatever I have (wisdom, knowledge, comfort, family, friends,etc), I
have received from the God of all goodness and I feel it a priviledge to share the same with others - more especially as I
do not consider myself better than these 'poor' folks.

Anyway, I remain grateful for your post. Still shows it's different strokes for different folks - just in case I was beginning to forget.

Be cool

Barna Research indicates two-thirds of young adults Americans believe extra-marital affairs, cohabitation, and homosexuality are acceptable behaviors. A majority of born-again young adults believe these types of behavior are acceptable. Life Action Revival Ministries Byron Paulus thinks he knows why. "They have been hurt and wounded by those who have misrepresented truth in the generation before them and are determining what their lifestyle will by peer groups, rather than absolute truth. It's a seismic shift I think in the Christian community." The church has itself to blame. Paulus says many churches have stopped preaching about sin. "We're afraid that we will either lose members, or budget, not realizing that those people in the pew are actually wanting the truth." Life Action wants to change that. They'll be in 70 different locations helping the local churches with personal and corporate revival. They do that through 4-day, 10-day and 14-day events. Pray that God will move among his people.

Full story: http://www.MNNonline.org/article/9299

We need to pray for our American brethren that God will help them go back to the old time religion since many Pentecostal churches here in Nigeria
copy the American way of preaching and doctrine. God will help them to focus on lifting up Jesus without compromising biblical standards for membership
and money.
Remain blessed all

Turkey Pickin'

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger"?

The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Your question is similar to Seun's reasons in his thread : 'Why I am no more a Christian'
Answers abound. Perhaps you can read my post therein and wonder no more.

Be cool

Check the thread ' Tell us about your Marriage' For enlightenment

Be cool

If this doesn't qualify for the 'jokes' board, nothing else will.

But is this for real? If it is - sure would love to know how the ol'boy felt

Nothing! Just be grateful to God for giving me such wonderful people as parents who did not leave me to the mercies
of this world but offered me a family life and opportunity to live like other kids on the block.

@gaby - not to worry, you will get your partner and both of you will have fun. Just ensure you are tolerant
and remove pride from your dictionary.
@ lioness
Quite funny,huh? But it wasn't then. However, marriage itself is a wonderful experience. It's better with God in it.
But not all quarrels should be like the one I posted earlier.

I had learn't my lesson about refusing food because of quarrel and vowed never to fall for that 'trap' again.
There was this time we had another quarrel and we didn't talk to each other that day. And there lies my
problem - I HATE IT WHEN WE DON'T TALK because MY WHOLE DAY BECOMES USELESS! So what to do?

Sure wasn't going to refuse food - out of the question.So?
The following day, in the room, I began to open drawers etc and pretended I was looking for something. She
didn't give me a second thought; that raised my adrenalin somewhat and I began to make it apparent that I
was searching for something by scattering all drawers/cupboards.

'What are you looking for?' I heard her ask exasperatedly
Out came my immediate reply: 'Aahh, at last. I've found it - Your voice!'. I knew the quarrel was over when I heard her laugh.

There I learn't a new lesson: How you react to any particular situation is determined by you. You CHOOSE your own behaviour.

Let me point out however that marriage is not all about quarrels ( which when you look back on hindsight, are usually petty),
and I hope I'm not giving that impression. There are wonderful experiences during and after pregnancies, growing up kids,
finding out all of a sudden that you are no longer as young as you thought ( like when my kids began to confuse me with slangs
like 'chill' that mean't something different to me, or talking so fast, staccato like, and call it rapping), strangers all of of a sudden
calling you daddy when you are not their father, etc.

Marriage? A very blessed institution indeed. Nothing like it. My prayer is that God will make your marriages an even better one
and the mistakes we made, you will avoid. So, don't give up on marriage ( Bhola, I beg you) but look forward to it as an
adventure with manifold blessing s and every one a winner. Perhaps you are married and facing some challenges; please don't
give up on it. Rather take up the challenge and with God on your side (He usually is if you want Him to), you'll look back with
happiness, satisfaction and gratitude to the Almighty who initiated the institution in the first place.

God bless you all

@gaby - not to worry, you will get your partner and both of you will have fun. Just ensure you are tolerant
and remove pride from your dictionary.
@ lioness
Quite funny,huh? But it wasn't then. However, marriage itself is a wonderful experience. It's better with God in it.
But not all quarrels should be like the one I posted earlier.

I had learn't my lesson about refusing food because of quarrel and vowed never to fall for that 'trap' again.
There was this time we had another quarrel and we didn't talk to each other that day. And there lies my
problem - I HATE IT WHEN WE DON'T TALK because MY WHOLE DAY BECOMES USELESS! So what to do?

Sure wasn't going to refuse food - out of the question.So?
The following day, in the room, I began to open drawers etc and pretended I was looking for something. She
didn't give me a second thought; that raised my adrenalin somewhat and I began to make it apparent that I
was searching for something by scattering all drawers/cupboards.

'What are you looking for?' I heard her ask exasperatedly
Aahh, at last. I've found it - Your voice! I knew the quarrel was over when I heard her laugh.

There I learn't a new lesson: How you react to any particular situation is determined by you. You CHOOSE your own behaviour.

Let me point out however that marriage is not all about quarrels ( which when you look back on hindsight, are usually petty),
and I hope I'm not giving that impression. There are wonderful experiences during and after pregnancies, growing up kids,
finding out all of a sudden that you are no longer as young as you thought ( like when my kids began to confuse me with slangs
like 'chill' that mean't something different to me, or talking so fast, staccato like, and call it rapping), strangers all of of a sudden
calling you daddy when you are not their father, etc.

Marriage? A very blessed institution indeed. Nothing like it. My prayer is that God will make your marriages an even better one
and the mistakes we made, you will avoid. So, don't give up on marriage ( Bhola, I beg you) but look forward to it as an
adventure with manifold blessing s and every one a winner. Perhaps you are married and facing some challenges; pls don't
give up on it. Rather take up the challenge and with God on your side (He usually is if you want Him to), you'll look back with
happiness, satisfaction and gratitude to the Almighty who initiated the institution in the first place.

God bless you all

A Man lived alone in the countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day, the dog died, and the Man went to his pastor and said, "Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?" The Pastor replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, and there's no telling what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the animal; you can go and find out”. Then the Man answered innocently, "I'll go right away Pastor. But do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the burial service?" The Pastor exclaimed, "Sweet Jesus! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Christian……….we definitely have services for all Christians

The trouble money will cause in this world,,

@mukina2

You are among the dearest. My condolence again for the loss of ur mum.
Cheers and be cool

The next Pope's gonna be the next anti-Christ? Yeah, just as sure as Abacha is going to rise
from the dead to rule Nigeria in 2007. My sources? check out www.annoyingthoughts@nairaland.com

Any new predictions out there?

WHAT IS THIS WORLD TURNING INTO?

The story is told of a wealthy businessman who was riding in his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He immediately ordered his driver to stop and he got out to enquire.

“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one of the men. “We don’t have money for food,” replied the poor fellow. “Oh! Come along with me then”. “But, Sir, I have a wife and two children.” “Bring them along. No problems”

As soon as the other man noticed that his fellow countryman was to be favoured, he quickly asked. “How about me, Sir? Can I also come with you?” “Oh, Sure!” “But I have a wife and three children” answered the second man. “Ah, Bring them along too” replied the wealthy businessman.

The two families went into the limousine and once underway, one of the poor fellows thankfully said, “Sir, you are very kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. May God bless you, Sir….” The wealthy businessman then replied, “My pleasure, the grass at my backyard is about four feet tall. So, you’ll have enough to eat.”

Hmm! A joke? No! This is exactly what our world has become. Many wealthy people really find it difficult to truly assist the poor. Whenever they manage to do so, it is always with a view to keeping the poor in perpetual poverty and slavery. Little wonder the gap between the rich and the poor keeps widening. May God deliver us from poverty and grant us true riches in Christ Jesus. Amen!

Have a blessed week.

To you alll - my wonderful Nairaland family.

Where did the year go? Suddenly it is November and nearly December, again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2006 is on its back!

A big "Thank You" to each and everyone of you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. Especially for all the support and e-mails I received, without you, I'm sure that 2006 would have been extremely boring.



From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.

May 2007 mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, Happiness and Bright Futures.

And to those who need someone special, may you find that true love

To those who need money, may your finances overflow

To those who need caring, may you find a good heart

To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people

To those who need life, may you find GOD

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!

@nkenk b- well said.

@didoflex - catholicism was never the first church if we have to believe the Bible: Acts 14: 23;20:28;
1 Corinth 1:2;Gal 1:13; etc.

To y'all
There are catholics that will make heaven because they live by the word and there are protestants that
that will not make it because of hypocrisy.

Moral: Let's quit this unedifying argument and rather cry as did David in Psalm 138: 23,24.
I bet satan enjoys this acrimony among brethren - SO PLEASE STOP IT!

God bless you all and be cool

New Baby

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child.

When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.

"Fine," I said. "I can understand that, but can you tell me what she didn't have"?

"It wasn't a boy," came the reply.

@twinstaiye
I admire ur strength brother.
@mukina2 - my condolences. I know the feeling. lost my papa 2 days to my birthday in 2003 & my mama in Nov 2004. Now my mom in law departed 2weeks ago.
Just doesn't seem right but u'll pull thru anyhow. God bless

White Lie

A 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and charm. She hangs onto his arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "How did you get the trophy girlfriend"?

"Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you"?

"I lied about my age."

"What, did you tell her you were only 50"?

"No, I told her I'm 90."

@ lioness
Marriage? Indeed, quite a funny experience when you look back. Especially during the earlier years. Learn't a hard lesson then too.

I had been brought up to believe that women were supposed to be at your beck 'n call. So one time we were having one of those
quarrels and as usual, I refused to eat. I expected her to beg me as always though I was at fault. Had planned not to eat her food
no matter so as to 'punish' her.
Food's ready, she called out to me in her fave endearment;
Hugh, I barely uttered a grunt in acknowledgement, but didn't move, my face in a scowl. 5 minutes later, she called again. This
time I declared I wasn't eating, my voice a li'l bit sharper. Any moment from now, she should come begging, and I will remain adamant
I planned.
But wait a minute; she's already eating and not waiting for me as usual. That got me angrier. Worse still, I was hungry and my
stomach began to 'grumble'. But how can I go to the table when I'd already declared I wasn't ready to eat. PRIDE.
But you can't go to bed hungry, I reasoned with myself - meanwhile my stomach was rebelling and the ol' girl appeared not
to notice my predicament. If only she will beg, I will 'reluctantly' go for my food - but no way. She was even enjoying her food
when you look at the way she smacked her lips. Please beg me now so I can come over, I pleaded wordlessly. No way.
Ok, don't beg - just call me again,pleeaaaasse, for my stomach's sake. I can't bear going to bed in this situation, with my
stomach ready to give me trouble. But Pride ( and shame) wouldn't allow me. And the woman even REFUSED to look my way.
I became angry. I'm not going to marry her again. Nope, I will ( what excuse will I give to my mother? because she didn't beg me?
My mama will 'kill' me. Two women? Me alone? Can't take that risk). I won't talk to her - ever again.
That night was a most harrowing night for me. Sleep wouldn't come because of my biting hunger. Did I hear her snore? This woman must be
wicked.
I went to work the following morning angrier (with every body) and hungrier. I didn't wait for her 'lousy' breakfast - I doubt if she even
noticed my departure. What are these women turning to? At work, I went straight to the canteen. It was not the same as home food.
Later that day, back home - and still scowling - she called again: 'food is ready'. Don't go said one mind; she has to apologise for yesterday's
wickedness. Thank God my legs didn't listen. I ate my food jo o, after all, na my money. What is she laughing at - couldn't see anything funny.
Maybe she's gone gaga. That's her problem as I attacked the food.
I have never forgone my food because of anything since then; and the good lady has been kind not to remind me of that foolishness.

Hotel Stay

We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a facelift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home.

Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, "You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Most people just take the towels."

Driving Record

On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit.

I handed the officer my license and made small talk while my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration.

"I'm usually very careful about my speed," I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork.

The officer studied it and then gave it back.

"Sir," he said gruffly. "This is not your registration."

It was a warning ticket I had received for speeding in South Carolina.