₦airaland Forum

donbenie:
Lol..
Despite your man made religion that tries to subjugate the very nature of man..
The only thing you have achieved is to continue to wail about men and side chicks..
Polygamy doesn't have benefits?
What is the benefit of Monogamy to man?
The only one Monogamy benefits is you lot..
It holds no benefits to man..
Better a man to marry 3 wives,than to have 10 side chicks..
At the very least,it is more economical..

Polygamy does not stop men from having side chicks. I don't know where you got that analogy from. A polygamous man can and will still cheat regardless of how many wives he has. To him, the more, the merrier.

MrAgbako:
wahala. It seams u woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Nah only men dey this society? Are there not women in power and different societal positions too? Nah only men dey develop the economy?
Women no dey cheat? Abi no this same Naija get the highest paternity fraud in the world?
Dey play o. Madam feminist😂

There is no developed society that was developed by women. Men developed them. Men are the ones who develop societies, not women. The level of development in a society is a testament to the quality of her men. Just as how prosperous a family is a testament to the father and husband who is a man, so it is for societies.

https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

leanonme82:
2018 - announced wedding, got engaged, impregnated chioma
2019 - chiomas fiance impregnates his sidechic, chioma gives birth
2020 - sidechic gives birth, davido carries new latina girlfriend to ghana, chases chioma from his house
2021 - babymama life
2022 - get back together, their child dies, does wedding, AFTER 3 YEARS! Only because her only child died
2023 - chiomas husband impregnates haileys mama for the 2nd time.

What a big joke! No be small #endurance. This one no be signs, this one saw helll fire and still married it. I wont be surprised if na her dead body dem carry comot davido house, no be curse. No caring parent can ever encourage this after all these drama where death was even involved. Her parents have failed her.

Including relatives and siblings. I am not richer than Davido or his family, but if my sister was Chioma, I wouldn't attend the wedding if she went on with it. Some might call it pride or ego, but I term it dignity and integrity. Mind you, this is includes his other baby-mamas o.

Annie Macaulay go become Emeritus Professor by fire, by force

Every Igbo person, and I dare say ethnic minorities in other parts of the country, should carefully read the responses from the first page to this comment to know what other fellow Nigerians think of you. I have predicted this (I just discovered that the thread where I posted them was deleted), and it is already happening. As an Igbo person outside Nigeria, have it at the back of your mind that you are technically a stateless person because the incoming Nigerian government WOULD not assist in trying times as we have in Sudan. With Bayo Onanuga as Minister of Information and Abike as Foreign Minister, expect the Mother of Smear Campaigns.

The ignorant ones will double down on their investments in other parts of Nigeria. The foolish ones will defend Nigeria when other Africans mock Nigeria online. The stoopid Igbo ladies will marry outside the ethnic group, thereby birthing tainted children. I will be here to remind them when Nigeria deals with them, expectedly.

To those Igbos who have the resources to relocate or park their wealth outside Nigeria but are against it: To reside in a prosperous land with racists is WAY better than living with tribalists in the world's poverty capital.

https://www.nairaland.com/7621766/tinubus-nigeria-nigeria-2050

package7:
Igbos people, why are you like this? You better stop all this shenanigans attitudes of you people. Nonsense and Ingredients fellow.

I am pretty sure this one went to church yesterday or mosque on Friday. Terrible people. So abandoning Nigerians on the basis on ethnicity is the best thing?

HITsquad:
Smh for this country...

Igbos are probably the most hated tribe in Nigeria. In my personal opinion sha.. And it shouldn't be that way... It's really sad.

I visited Osun state few years ago to see an old friend of mine... And also get to know about the place, the people there and their way of life. I was really excited and filled with life to be there...
But while driving somewhere around "ife" i think.. with that my friend showing me around... Something terrible happened. We got into a very serious accident that almost claimed our lives...(But Baba God just no gree)

The earlier you know that Nigeria is not for Igbos, the better. There is nothing like love here. Stop asking for what cannot be offered.

Darkestking:
Women have been selling themselves to the highest bidder for a long time. They do anything for money. Why is this surprising ? I[b]n the west most women[/b] have become prostitutes for money, with onlyfans and all of that.

Do you have the data to support the claim that most women in the west have resorted to online prostitution?

1Sharon:
It's not economics all the time. I've seen decrepit white men that have nothing going for themselves with beautiful black women.

It's self-hatred

Men offer commitment. What if no black man, handsome or ugly, offered them commitment? Should these beautiful black women remain single? What if she needed legal regularisation and the white man, as a citizen, offered to marry her even when there were single black men who were also citizens declined to marry her? What should she do?

It is not always black and white. If it was in a place with few blacks, I can understand. But in places with substantial black populations, I lean on the side of economics being the factor. Also, such marriages constitute the exception in interracial marriages as the vast majority of folks, white, Indian, black or Asian, will always prefer to marry their kind.

MrBrownJay1:
you should also start to feel sorry for a lot of women as well.... as now we have the below type of women pretending to be men (aka below picture after the operation to remove their breast):

Ah! Wetin woke culture dey no good o. I even thought these were men transiting to women, not knowing it is the opposite. I know it is common in South East Asia especially Thailand, but from your knowledge, shey this nonsense is not common across East Asia?

emmaodet:
Atleast, they attract mid to low quality ladies in the societal ladder.
Now, the question is, how many men do Nigerian ladies attract abroad?
Even in Africa, outside Nigeria I don't think any other African nationality want to touch our ladies and that speaks volume compared to our men.

Until recently, few Nigerian women travel out compared to the men, So, the numbers don't tally. It is easier and common for a Nigerian man to marry a foreigner. Also, there is no economic benefit attached to marrying a Nigerian woman.

GreyLaw:
Binaries just stole and election, paid N2bn bribe, and announced herself winner in an election she was losing from beginning to end. There was never a time she had more votes than the governor yet she had the temerity to pronounce herself winner. She is a woman!

My point? Everybody is complicit. I don't know your grouse with men anyway.

She has a point: it is the responsibility of Nigerian men to develop the society so that women live prosperous and save lives. That is how it globally. Truth is, Nigerian men have failed their women. https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

As for Binaries, more Nigerian have committed electoral malpractice than women. I dare say the women learnt quickly from the male folks. BlommingDale's post is apt. Nigerian men should do better.

One major reason I will continue to hate the demonic party known as APC and anything associated with it, including the disgusting supporters.

Rokiat:
She clearly is not FBA she looks African,
And many Africans so desperate and still brainwashed thinking been with these transparent people is a flex.

Economics over emotions. By marrying that man and getting permanent residency, she becomes qualified for jobs in many industries and companies that would not employ a foreigner. She is at the bottom of the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs, just like her male counterparts.

Interesting responses.

See why despite its issues, Nairaland remains the best place to get information relating to Nigeria and Nigerians? Then someone mentioned Reddit/Nigeria.

Eriokanmi:
This is plaguing millions of homes in Nigeria today. Those affected are just covering their problems with clothes. The second marital menace is infertility. If their gatemen aren't doing their wives secretly, na maigad go dey do am. But this can stop if they're willing to find a solution to it

Modern lifestyles contribute majorly to these problems. I went for a project inspection in a remote area in kwara state sometime ago. The name of the place is Kosubosu in Baruten local government. It shares boundaries with the nupe people in Niger state. One could cross to Benin Republic via one of the tiny paths there too. Their women don't wear clothes, except the enlightened few. The dwellers didn't allow us take pictures of them as they were always monitoring us.

There was this community head who welcomed us warmly. One night he hosted us at his place, he told us he had 20 children and 4 wives. He shared some tips on the cause of infertility which this generation must avoid. He said anything made of sodium glutamate should be totally avoided. He also said fast foods should be totally avoided. Noodles according to him.had done a lot of damage to people's health. I asked him, which solution could he proffer to those suffering from erectile dysfunction and infertility. He said , tell them to stop alcohol and drugs. Not only that, he said diet too helps. As a kid, he said his dad would never eat eggs coming from poultry farms, that he taught them to be eating the eggs produced naturally via copulation. Any man with infertility problems should be eating eggs produced naturally via copulation by both fowl sexes and decist from eating eggs produced with chemical foods, that its not natural.

We saw his 4 wives, looking very healthy and slim. He said women with too many fats would likely have infertility issues. That they should refrain from fatty and fast foods as well...because these are the type of foods common in many homes today. The man was in his 60s, looking much younger. He said weekly, he must eat crayfish grinded with millet and groundnuts. He could cook or make soup with it and eat once in a week. His skin was glowing. He said they all go to farm daily and that's their own form of exercise. He talked of eating natural and fresh vegetable too. They grow groundnuts and carrots in that community.

Maybe, anyone having those problems reading this could find something useful as well.

I have to believe. I saw the difference in the quality of ejaculated sperm. No wonder native eggs aka organic eggs cost pass those from factory farms.

1Sharon:
Interracial dating makes a mockery of black people. They get the best of ours, while we get the worst of theirs. Nonsense

It is economics. I am willing to wager she is a black African, not an African American. The solution is for black African countries to be rich so that their inhabitants are not desperate in marital pursuits.

Gerrard59:
Preach sir!

When I see Nlders praise entrepreneurship so much, I laugh. This is not because being an entrepreneur is bad (providing value is good and rewarding) but OP is saying that young Nigerians who do not have something to fall on should focus on solving their immediate needs first before attempting to solving societal needs. You cannot give what you do not have. How can someone with no strong support base (parental support, an existing business waiting for you to take over or some rich relatives willing to help) attempt to provide value? You would most likely eat the earnings of the business instead of re-investing because you are at the survival stage. Maslow Hierarchy of Needs tells us so. It is until you have solved your basic needs that you can then think of solving people's needs. It is another reason I get amused when folks complain that banks refuse to lend them money when they had awesome business plans (to me, plans are useless. Things change quickly). Banks are profit oriented entities and would most preferable/likely fund someone with a track record (existing business or strong support base to act as collateral), not a recent grad. This post reminds me of lad who dumped his digital marketing agency he co-founded to look for a job in an investment bank. When inquired further why he is leaving his firm (I coached him for the interview), he complained of how business was not moving well and he had difficulties solving his daily needs. As a result, he needs a job. Interestingly, this dude studied in the UK for his two degrees (Bsc Eng and MSc Engr) and I reasoned that he has a strong base and was relying on that but cannot continue to do so going forward. Yet another, this time an ex-classmate, he left his digital marketing agency to get a job as an account executive. Apparently, because he had same problems - solving his daily needs and a new business cannot solve one's needs unless the business is not expected to grow.

So OP is right. No one is saying don't become an entrepreneur but do not so on an empty stomach. You would most likely eat your revenue not even profits as the latter take time to come. Someone would ask what about in the US. What people tend to forget that is the kind of profiles these straight-out-of-school entrepreneurs have. They most likely went to Ivy Leagues, got funded based on the idea not the bottomline of the business, have a strong base to fall on, live in country where interest rates are miserably low and the VC/angel investors' market is strong (literally got founded). So you see? Getting a reasonable job does not make you a slave like some cretins say or keeps your dream away like some mor0ns opine. What it does is: it provides you a support (financially and mentally) on living your life while you plan towards starting your business. What people rarely say about entrepreneurship without investors/parental support/existing history of credit lending is that you would be eating your revenue as they come because your personal problems (rent, feeding, clothing etc) need to be solved.

OP, find a job to ensure your bills get paid. Build on towards your desired future.

Best wishes!

emmaodet:
Because the terrain differs.
You need to understand your environment.
Using US scenario or standard in Africa will make you struggle alot and vice versa.

So with all the start a business mantra, how come Nigeria has more poor people than the United States? How many of these businesses have grown to be major players in the continent? Even the most successful entrepreneurs in Nigeria WORKED for companies before becoming entrepreneurs. The majority worked somewhere for some years. The data is out there. Check any successful entrepreneur in Nigeria, that person worked for a while.

In India, Modi is working tirelessly to ensure investments pour into the country, building infrastructure everywhere to ease business operations and trade. India produces university graduates like pure water, but Modi has never told Indian graduates to become entrepreneurs immediately they graduate. Even the top grads from their IITs look for jobs after graduation, why must Africa's own be different? How many Nigerian youths who migrated to UK, Canada, US etc.,, started businesses immediately they graduated? No be work everybody dey find, no matter how small?

sageb:
Yes, but it ain't easy. You need funds to pursue some scholarship, e.g The NDDC postgraduate scholarship requires that applicants should have an admission letter from the foreign University before applying for their scholarship which is not certain.

That's the reason he needs a job before anything else. My guy that was earning slightly above 60K as a teacher in the top private school in the state don japa to Canada as a fully funded student. He saved and saved every kobo he earned. He wrote exams, solicited for funds, paid for WES etc. It was not easy, but he did it. I don't know how many siblings OP has, but my friend has almost the same profile - almost thirty. OP has to find something to start with. Even in the US - the world's most capitalist economy - the majority of graduates get employed FIRST. They don't go about starting businesses. This includes those who finished from elite universities such as CALTECH, Stanford, Harvard, MIT etc., na work all of them dey look for immediately they graduate. The same applies to Germany, Netherlands, Brazil, Hong Kong, China, India etc. Why should it be different from Nigeria? Na only for Africa I dey read start a business immediately you graduate. Yet Africa has the highest number of poor people globally! Her countries have ridiculously high unemployment rates.

OP needs to get employed first, then build on that. He must be focused on what he wants and don't be like my other friend who gave woman belly during service and currently finds it hard to pursue foreign studies. Both friends know mathematics like the back of their palms, but one was focused on the future, the other looked for true love.

pansophist:
Same boring advice, but I will repeat it. just forget about getting a job, learn a handwork, and try to expand on it. If you learn how to make shoes, for example, keep improving and growing on it until you make all the shoes Lagos uses or even one percent of it and you will be made for life. Then expand abroad.

Getting a job is like being given two wraps of Amala when ten wraps will get you to satiety. And as inflation bites hard, each wrap (salary) reduces in size, you grow bigger and hungrier, and your job becomes more of slavery than a means of sustenance. Get a job only if it helps you save to start a business.

Getting a job is actually the best. This rush to be entrepreneurs after teritary education has metamorphosed into pure water entrepreneurship with mushroom businesses around. Where will he get the capital? What will he rely on when the business is in its nascent stages? What sort of competence or network or experiences has he developed before starting his enterprise?


You mentioned artisans, LOL! Those people wey no dey collect better money. There are so many people offering the same artisanal services in Nigeria. Due to the huge population, the wages earned are very low. Even artisans in developed countries work for someone or a company before being on their own. Osarentin Asemota has said this - let would-be entrepreneurs find jobs first, save from it, build network before going the entrepreneurial way. The best and profitable entrepreneurs worked for other people for a while. Many examples abound. Those who started businesses immediately after teritary education either had financial backers in terms of rich parents or relatives or outside investors because they graduated from top schools, so investors can bet on them.

Getting a job is actually the norm globally. There's no country where there are more employers than employees. None whatsoever. Na this start a business mantra don lead to mushroom entrepreneurship everywhere across the continent. One survey said Nigerians are great business creators, yet unemployment don hit 30%+. So much entrepreneurship, little employment.

oldienavie:
I graduated with a 2:1 degree in Electrical Engineering and did not have a job for 5 years after graduation.
My point is, the race of life is a marathon and not a sprint.
Try to invest in yourself and get skills.

Good. OP, invest in a skill that can stand the test of time and can be monetised globally. If you have a math based background, there are many opportunities out there.

Also you may want to consider building a real relationship now cos once you eventually make money you will struggle to find true love

There's nothing like true love. You people should stop deceiving yourselves with that phrase. Person never chop food belly full or know his bearing, you want him to enter a relationship?

Lastly, stop telling yourself you want to support your family, your parents are the only ones responsible for your siblings and not you, a lot of parents have ruined their children future by putting undue pressure on them.
How can you give birth to a child so he can take care of other children that you as a parent had, what is wrong with Nigerian parents, the whole country is just full of irresponsible people regardless of age.

I wish you all the best.

But you want him to find true love na. What if he gives the girl belly in the process? Abi dem no go fvck? The girl in question will be between the ages of say 23 - 26. OP is yet to find his bearing, which means the girl has to be with him for at least two to four years. By that time, she don nack almost 30. You people should fear God na.

Let's face it, the Nigerian economy has been bastardised. There's nothing wrong with looking after your siblings. The Nigerian culture is communal. What if the family prioritised his education above others in the hope that when is done, he can assist his younger ones?

overseasnbeyond:
After japa to another country, I realized it is not easy to survive aside from money you make.

Where is it easy to survive aside the money that you make? If you want more money, you increase your skill set and offer to a prosperous and bigger market. Or you start a business targeting the same market.

missing family and friends.

People who moved to Lagos from Taraba to work in Corporate Nigeria also feel the same. Alternatively, you create the community within where you live.

Don't get it twisted I make the money but have to put the time in.

There is no free money anywhere. What you work is what you get. You want more? Own the process or acquire specialist skills and offer to a wealthier market.

but it is so boring.

Accountants in the Big4 in Lagos also say their work is boring, yet they siddon put for the work. Being boring or interesting depends on the person.

Should I return to Nigeria?

You are free to. If you are in the UK, it is six hours and if it is London, fantastic as there are four airports. Options brekete.

creolehunt:
I'm struggling to understand your reference to Tidjane Thiam. Kindly explain

To get the elite women in developed countries goes beyond having a big preek. These men have to be at the top of their game. The women most of our men marry are not the kind of women the native men in those countries are interested in. I have read posts on Reddit that some of the women foreign men marry in Asia aren't the top women in terms of looks or career achievement. It is the reason I referenced Tidjane Thiam due to this profile not age.

Just because someone has easy access to short or obese women in the abroad no mean say he has it easy with the top women. I rather go to Nigeria and get an average woman than be saddled with below average in the abroad. After all, those in Canada are doing so - they rarely marry white or black Canadians who were raised in Canada. They head back to Nigeria.

optimusprime2:
When I see you name Tidjane Thiam (Who is even an old man), then I already know you lack that prime confidence (which is the essential thing in the art of gaming).

ause although I have hung my boots, I never barb my dada.

So oga, I don't know what you are talking about. If you are the calm one, just say it, Don't generalise all brothers sir, because some of us have conquered.

Impressive! Which means there is hope after all. However, this should be preached to those in the UK, Ireland, Germany, Canada, Italy, and Finland who lament that kongi wants to kill them. They are the ones flooding Instablog with videos screaming about how it is hard to get women. I am not the one doing so. Also, I am interested in the looks and calibre of women who frolic with Nigerian men (first generation).

Na Nigerian men dey complain for social media say to get woman hard. I have only seen one video by a Nigerian woman. I am using the recent japa exodus to judge not migrants of yesteryears.

WantsandMore:
This is the most half truths I've seen based on this topic. Dude your ugliness is affecting your opinion.

That depends on the kind of woman o.
So, when they say "Nigerian men are loved in the abroad", certain questions should be asked.

- What calibre of women "love" Nigerian men?
- Which countries do they come from?
- What are the profiles of these women (height, facial looks, educational attainment, career etc)?

You did not answer the questions. All women are not equal. I need to see the kind of women who love Nigerian men (first generation) and their profiles.

pacespot:
Cacophony of buffoonery. Black men are loved by women across races all over the world, Nigerian men now add their own on top for being romantic.

Mainly because of the perceived big preek. How many eventually marry Nigerian men? No be Nigerian men dey complain for social media by advising those at home to knack before they relocate? The most loved and desired are African African American because of the passport. Again, I stated it clearly, the calibre of women matters.

I've watched many videos online where women of all races were asked to pick their preferred man for dating in other races, I was surprised to see Nigerian men rank top for most of the interviews, Asian men especially Koreans also rank high. Na that time I know say Nigeria is popular than Africa, because none of other African countries' men got mentioned.

Nigerians are everywhere and we constitute the most black people and Africans. It is simple probability.