₦airaland Forum

coogar: this is no news.....
if they don't get lured into it by their bigger aunties, they would get lured in school. females in all-girls boarding schools are easy pickings for these sex deviants....

the best thing these days is to home-school the kids.

To what level??

Naetochukwu: The said man is dead, i dont see anything wrong with it except if the man is still alive then we can say she hasnt really forgotten him.



I love the name chinonso, though my first's name is Nonso i will certainly give my son that name.

better make sure you don't have an ex that is chinonso oo

Feraz: My bad! Thanks for that. I meant to say some.

good.

I don't think i want to believe this story jare abi is this not the same man from from here
https://www.nairaland.com/1831149/commiting-suicideis-truly-sin#25006286

I don't know what i will do o. But i don't think it will affect my relationship with my ''adopted'' parents. I love them the way they are..

Hospital they told me...

pickabeau1: ok

No wahala

okay sir.

Feraz: Wow! I'm really surprised by some replies here. They all shout there's nothing wrong with the name. A man just found out that his first son has been named after his wife's first love and people say there's nothing wrong with it. Doesn't it imply that the wife is still wishing to belong to her first love? It's not like the child is the first love's. Who won't be pissed with that kinda thing? I guess it's cos the person angry is the man. I'm learning very fast!

So this is the family section!

All ke? Not all now.
e.g

beeevan: If I discovered my child is named after an ex,dead or alive, that name MUST change. It's really so upsetting, the woman no try at all.

sholasholala: She should put herself in his shoes. How will she feel if he did same to her?

freecocoa: Now let's put ourselves in this man's shoe, how would you feel if it were you?

The man has every right to be angry, more so because she never told him about it, he is the father of the child and has every right to know everything about his child, now he prolly agreed to the name because he loves his wife only to find out she chose it because of a dead lover, I bet he'll be feeling like 2nd place in his wife's life and that's not a good feeling.

Anyways, the deed's been done so he should just let go, the wife had better continued pleading cos she's in the wrong here.

chaircover: The man has every right to be angry.

What I dont understand is how this name was never mentioned during dating. How does one hide something as big as that from the person you want to marry?

If she had discussed it with him before, maybe he would have even agreed to it. Its the keeping the reason to herself that I dont agree with. Names are supposed to be well thought of.

I will be pissed off too if I found out years later that my hubby named our kid after an ex

and they are all FEMALE

pickabeau1: Madam.. this was your first post... good you have clarified your position.. whatever it was

Godmystrength: What if she just loves the name?
If someone has some exes, does it means that their names are a no go area for the man/woman to name their child? i.e if i happen to have an ex (whether dead or alive) who is Stephen/Stella, it means i must never name any of my children that?
Did the woman tell the hubby that she named the child after her lover or he just got to find out about the lover's name and assumed that his child was named after him? So many unanswered questions.

Yes i remember my first post.
What i was asking is that going by all these, it means i have to consciously scrutinize all names and be sure that it is not an ex's name before i can name my child.

Whatever name people decide to name their child is their business so far they agree on it
My own here is that didn't the wife tell her hubby about the relationship and dead ex? Didn't she mentioned his name while talking about him? From this story, for the husband to just discover that the son is named after an ex it means she didn't tell him which i said is WRONG. because if she told him, when they were about naming the child, he would have known and objected if he wasn't happy with it.

Not giving your child a name you would have loved to because you've had an ex that goes by that name =
Giving your child a name because your ex goes by that name and you want to keep him remembered = WRONG

[size=5pt]But what i really need to get is that if you love a name so much and had determined in your heart to name your child, if you are then ''unfortunate'' to date someone with that name and it didn't work out between you two, then that is the end of the name in your dictionary??[/size]

pickabeau1: Now you are skirting the issue

I said variants..... that means they are not exactly the same thing

I know Ola and Ade dont mean the same thing.... Segun is common

I dont know the specific name.. i used illustrations

Clara.. claris, ciara (not siure)
Stephen .. steve..
Stella.. estella, chavela


Why will she need Gods help with gobe,.,.. you just said it was not a biggie,,,just a name right?

Please don't get me wrong or put words that are not mine in my mouth o. It is the OP's friend/her hubby that have the problem and not me/my hubby so that is why i said she needs God's help. Even if i said it was not a biggie (i didn't say that anyway), it's not me that my hubby is not talking to for 2weeks and i am not her hubby. Meanwhile, my opinion is not going to solve her problem because her husband is not here to read it.

Godmystrength: Admitting that she named the son after her dead lover is not a good thing and shouldn't be. I said that before.

nurey: To defend men I say it is a lie.
1. Why will I even be staring at a childs private part or gazing at it when I don't have an ill feeling in mind.
2. What wants to turn one on in a child, even looking at matured women disgust me when they flaunt what they have unnecessary.
3. Men don't get turned on easily by what's under the hood, they look at beauty, physic, character e.t.c.

That is to say not all men will be gazing at a child not to talk of staring at that child inorder to get an erection.

If you stare or even look at a child and you are feeling one kind please get help b4 u become a craddle roBber or that popular naija word AGBAYA.

@lofty900 what do you think?

pickabeau1: What motive can make a woman name her new man;s son after her dead ex-lover
Are you aware names have variants

Henry, Hank etc
William, Bill, Willy
Adesegun, Olasegun etc
Chima, Chuma

Names abound which serve the purpose of the original name
If i like a name say Godstrenght but its a nono.. Godswill dey, Godspower dey....

Why the specific ex lover name

lol. But we don't what specific name it is now. Abi what if the name is like Reuben, Clara, Stephen, Stella etc, what variants do you have for them?
And mind you, Adesegun is not same as Olusegun. Some names have same means but you just love the sound of some than the other..


Anyway, wetin concern me? My son is not named after any ex so i gat no problem. God will help OP's friend sort out her gobe o

pickabeau1: ok...

Seems its really not a big deal..right?

It is the motive and intentions that makes it a big deal or no big deal.

In another twist, what if the name my hubby loves and want to name his child happens to be the name of my ex, will i tell him not to name his child?
If i complain about the name, won't people say i am being insecured or that i am afraid that the name might remind me of my ex and also awaken past memories? What if one of my BIL bears the name of my ex, will i stop him from visiting because he will remind me of my ex?

That is why i said it is the reason behind the naming that determines that.

Admitting that she named the son after her dead lover is not a good thing and shouldn't be. I said that before.

pickabeau1: the naming should be a joint effort - how come it was a unilateral decision from her


is he sure he is d father of the child

Even when couple agree names for their children, someone must first come up with the name before they decide to adopt it. So if it happens that it is the wife's suggestion that was accepted, does it make the child paternity questionable?
The only reason why i feel the NAME is an issue is because it is the dead lover's name.

But on another note, is it that the woman didn't tell the husband about her past relationship and dead lover? How come he is just discovering that its the lover's name that was given to the child by his wife?

pickabeau1: Can youname your child after your ex..

I will name my child(ren) names that i love not because it is or is not an ex's name. If i love a name, i love it regardless of who is bearing it.
In fact, there is a woman that hurts my family so bad that we don't even like her but my son and her first child have same name. when people initially called me ''mummy xxxxx'' i will remember her because that is what we call her too. But after a while, it made no difference to me.

That is why i was asking whether the woman intentionally named the child after her dead lover or it was just a mere coincidence.
If she did it because she wanted to be remembering her dead lover, then too bad and not acceptable.........

Godmystrength: Maybe she should just beg the hubby for peace to reign. And i believe the child has got more than one name so let them start calling the child by one of his other names.

What if she just loves the name?
If someone has some exes, does it means that their names are a no go area for the man/woman to name their child? i.e if i happen to have an ex (whether dead or alive) who is Stephen/Stella, it means i must never name any of my children that?
Did the woman tell the hubby that she named the child after her lover or he just got to find out about the lover's name and assumed that his child was named after him? So many unanswered questions.

Someone is asking if the man is the father of the child. But from what i read here, the lover has even died years before she got married so it is absolutely obvious that the child is not the lover's.

Maybe she should just beg the hubby for peace to reign. And i believe the child has got more than one name so let them start calling the child by one of his other names.

And let daddy explain to son that the reason for changing his name is because he was named after mommy's long dead ex lover.

DrummaBoy: Permit me to add.

That post of mine is a tract. It is the shortest analysis on tithes you can find anywhere. Truth is that biblical truths are not found on the surface; they are found by studious searching. The reason why deception abound in society is because people love quick fixes; short cut to breakthrough; etc. Scriptures does not encourage this.

At the end of the text, I supplied a few websites on the tithe subject. I studied them and others to come to my conclusion on tithe. I studied pro tithe text too. The anti tithe ones convinced me.

I encourage you to do the same.

haba!! adding to the already long post.
When i finish reading, i will let you know. Thanks

dotmanz: The problem we men have is trust. We mostly under estimated women, we assume, despite all the chaos, she wldnt be so mean to kill her husband, the day mine happened, she actually threatened me, at that period, she was always locking up the bedroom door and throw a pillow on the sofa out in the livingroom. At about 10pm, my phone rang. I looked up the caller, unknown caller (hidden number). I picked up the call, 'hello! It was her voice, the voice said 'its like u dnt value ur life'. And she dropped the call immediately. Just 3 minutes after the call, a message came in, it was from her number, the message says, 'watch it!!!'

I took it for a mere threat, I under estimated her, till the following day, it was like dream to me, she used a sledge hammer (construction hammer 12kg weight) on me, before she started, I noticed she locked all the doors leading to my flat, I was actually seated on a reading chair in the bedroom, she came in and locked up the bedroom door, meanwhile, the hammer had been snicked into the room, I never knew. When she started by saying she was going to kill me today, I was even smiling, ofcourse she knows how skillful I am when it comes to attack and defense as a trained Martial Artist. Before it dawn on me that it was a real battle, she had already striped me naked and reached for the hammer, she flinged straight at my head, I splited skillfully but unexpectedly, the hammer hit the wall and she lost her balance due to the weight of the hammer. I still cldnt attack her, I watch out for her membrane artery, I made a slight impact just to get her unconscious. Just a slight hitting of the artery, she passed out.

Knowing that she would pass out for just few minutes, I rushed up and put on another set of clothe, I took away the hammer and search for the key, I didn't get the key to find my way out. I had to force the door, she eventually sneezed to life as I was forcing the dooropen, when she found herself on the floor, she started crying..

She picked up her phone, she called all member of her family that I beated her till she fainted.

Na wa o. Can someone be this bad?? I wonder what she will have to say if she is called for her own side of the story. smh o. May God never let my sons or relatives or family member come across a woman as described in dotmanz's post.

DrummaBoy: When you have read the text, we can talk.

okay

zboyd: Not ALL women (or men) over here grow up in dysfunctional, single parent homes...no matter what the stereotypes claim...OR...what people choose to believe.

I am not saying you are from those kind of homes, neither am i from such. Just trying to say your list is too long. just that.

fr3do: #Vomits on thread

dirty boy..

Cutekriss: yea!...if both parties are cheating on each other, that calls for abstinence...

but this thread is not about cheating partners.

freshdude2: You would agree that there'd be no children in the space of four years, right?

Na wa for you o. So because of family planning, you will be seeing your spouse day in/day out and you won't do anything.....I don't believe you.

Mr Two

A-Romantic
M-Emotional
H-Leadership Potential

ledafaze: Thanks

u r welcome.

@zboyd - only you learnt ALL these? wow!!! that's superb o

NO

Kossyne: Let me correct an impression. Wedding is not a profit making venture. It's a celebration. You invite your family, friends and well wishers to celebrate with you cos you ve foind some1 you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Now to the topic; personally I don't like crowd. I prefer 100-150 people attending my wedding. That way I ll ensure that they are properly attended to.

To some people, that is a big crowd o.

HML

ledafaze: I had mine last month and another thing I can add is that ur food n drinks will be surplus and people will eat n carry go ....

Cos some people will leave on time whole some will stay back.


Hehehe

freshdude2: In terms of birth control/family planning, yes.

So if you plan to have a 4years spacing between your children, then no sex for 4years or what?

Gwazah: Abstinence is the key.
Beside, first to comment.

Abstinence ke? In marriage?